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Guest Matt In Vancouver
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Guest Matt In Vancouver

I have regular client who is married, happily, and has been blackmailed by an escort he saw briefly. I'm concerned that this kind of thing can happen to a really fantastic guy, who is probaly one of the sweetest men I know.

I want the situation to end, and have tried talking my friend into pursuing some sort of legal action, to no avail. He is adamant about not being outed, so some sort of disreet solution is needed. Help, does anyone have any experience with this type of situation, and can anyone offer any advice on a possible solution to this problem, short of hiring a hit man.

A bit more info, he HAS given this guy money, for several years!!!!!! The guy knows where he lives, works, all the details. Please give me some input on how he can rid himself of this nasty little situation, and hopefully prevent this type of thing occuring to anyone else.

thanx.

Matt

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LAST EDITED ON Apr-24-00 AT 02:23PM (EST)[p]Does the escort live in Canada or in the US? How about the client?

 

Also, are they located in the same state or province? How were the threats made -- by phone, by mail, over the Internet?

 

And were the threats only to injure your friend's reputation? Or did the escort threaten to do more (i.e., commit some kind of bodily harm, do damage to his property, ...)? Finally, do you have any idea how much money has been demanded and paid over the years?

 

I'm not a lawyer, but I think what you are talking about here might be more properly called extortion than blackmail, although it might be both. I think that blackmail in the US means extortion based on a threat to reveal that someone has committed a crime, whereas extortion can simply be a threat to hurt someone's person, property or reputation. In the US, there are federal statutes that would apply if interstate laws apply (as they would, for example, if the mail was used or they lived in different states). But there are also state criminal codes that might just as well apply. Just out of curiosity, I did a quick scan of the Canadian Criminal Code and didn't see any mention of blackmail, but extortion is there with a definition that sounds similar to the US definition.

 

This is a serious crime in both countries, punishable by imprisonment for up to a few years. I'm guessing here, but the ongoing and lengthy nature of this crime would seem to increase seriousness of the offense. Also, extortion over a certain amount ($2000 in the US) carries additional penalties.

 

Your friend is the victim of a crime here -- a serious crime. He should not accept this. Involving at least an attorney to help him out of this should be the first step: perhaps the threat of taking this escort to the authorities should he ever disclose something would be a possibility, but I think this is so despicable that he should try to get the guy imprisoned.

 

If he's doing it to your friend, he's probably doing it to others as well -- or may in the future. Perhaps you can help your friend to see that his fear should not necessarily be controlling here, for that is exactly what the extortionist is depending on.

 

And then, finally, is this escort someone who is still in the business????

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Guest Matt In Vancouver

They both live in Canada and in the same province though in different cities.

It has been going on for years, and the amount of money is OBSCENE, like we are talking 6 figures. over the course of years.

Also the threats as far as I know have all been via post, with the ocasional phone call, and I don't beleive there have been threats of violence, just disclosure, and I'm not even sure if that's been clearly stated, just something along the lines of 'something very bad will happen'

I appreciate your advice, I've told him in the past to contact a lawyer, he's really really afraid of the possible outcome, he lives in a small community and is well known, this could destroy him, so if there is a solution that could allow him to remain anonymous, that would be preferable.

Matt

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I hope some of the lawyers here pick on this. (Any Canadian lawyers among us?)

 

It would seem to me at this point that the escort has far more to lose than your friend -- your friend simply has to admit to various parties that, yes, he's bisexual. (And, I guess, admit to his wife that he's been squandering a lot of their money for years because he couldn't trust her -- that might not be so easy.)

 

But, handled properly, it would seem as if the escort's freedom might be at stake here. I really hope some of the lawyers here provide some advice.

 

If that doesn't happen, I know that there are a few lawyers who contribute frequently to the Atkol forums. You might want to go there and post this under the General Discussion thread as well. I guarantee you'll get a strong, supportive response.

 

In case you don't have it, the url is http://www.atkol.com/forums-forums.asp

 

Please keep us informed -- I really hate to see someone victimized this way!

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Guest Merlin

I suggest he consult a lawyer in the nearest large city. The lawyer will hold it in confidence and will not act without the clients permission.

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Guest Skeptic

I know that if I wonder about the motives behind this particular thread I'll be accused of escort-bashing. But surely I can't be the only one here to detect a certain aura of irreality (not to say urban myth)in offering this up as a 'problem' for serious discussion. Could someone with the wherewithall to pay out blackmail money in 'six figures' really be so helpless?

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OK, this is a serious situation and absolutely should stop. Of course, your friend is unwilling to do anything about it for fear his reputation will be ruined. Here's a thought (not really thought out as I'm replying immediately after reading this thread). Contact an attorney. Explain EVERYTHING to him and concerns about family, reputation, etc. When next contacted by blackmailer, save address and ltr OR record the tel conversation (lead him on to get as much info as possible on tape). Make copy of tape and then give to lawyer. Gather all evidence and give to the police. Or, if above is impossible, at least contact police and explain that discretion is needed. (they will usually oblige). They will contact blackmailer and handle from there.

You could always contact the Sopranos (I'm not kidding) but that could cause problems for you if they don't kill him. Personally, I would have killed him at the first attempt at blackmail.

In any event, you have to stop this extortion IMMEDIATELY.

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I forgot to mention that it is HIGHLY PROBABLE that there are other victims of this blackmailer.....they usually don't do this to just one person. The police will know exactly how to handle this and between them and a lawyer, his reputation will be saved.

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Matt;

 

Maybe I am way too insensitve, but I do not have much sympathy for your clients situation.

 

You can only be the victim of extortion if you choose to be. Although it is hindsight, it is always better to call the bluff of a scumbag extortionist immediately. Often they are bluffing, and if you call their bluff they have no power over you, and often they will go away.

 

But how can your clinet be "one of the sweetest guys" you know if his entire life is based on lies. It is 2000, not 1950. If he sees you regularly, and he saw the other escort regularly, and he allows himself to be extorted, then he is lying to his wife, and his community. Maybe its easier if you live in a large city where being gay is easier, but basing your entire life on a lie will always get you sooner or later.

 

Maybe this guy wants to get caught, so that he can put an end to his double life. It is always a painful and stressful thing to be living a lie.

 

Others have given very constructive legal type advice, which is good,but I think your client should just say "No More" to the extortionist and let the chips fall where they may. If he does it in conjunction with law enforcement, he may be able to nail the scumbag. I know its easy for me to say, because I am not a successful married guy living in a small town. But how does your friend measure success anyway. Is he successful because he is rich, and manages a succesful charade on his wife and family and community? To me he just sounds like a pleasant rich guy who is accustomed to having things his way.

 

He will be much happier in the long run if he stops paying the extortion, and is more honest with himself, his family and his community. Otherwise he will always be running and hiding, and he will NEVER be happy, and never really be successful.

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Guest Matt In Vancouver

I agree that it would have been easier had he several years ago taken the bull by the horns and said do what you may, but that isn't the case, and coming out isn't an option to this man. I'm all for being honest with yourself and the people around you, life is sooooo much easier when you do, but to this man, this is not in his realm of thinking.

He is not a rich guy, he is successful in the small town where he lives, and really well known, and it is a very very redneck environment, the equivilent of the bible belt in the US. So I can understand his reservations.

I just wanted to offer him some advice on a possible solution that he would be comfortable with, because as I've said, this has gone on for far too long.

There are no alterior motives on my part, I honestly feel sick to see a good friend of mine being treated this way, and it is tearing him apart.

I wasn't quite sure what Skeptic was getting at in his post, but I've chosen to ignore most of what he says anyways.

Also I think regarless of the situation, this is a pretty needed topic of discussion, because there are guys out there that will prey on closet married men, knowing that there is a chance of getting money to keep quite, so maybe this will help someone else out there to avoid this possibility.

thank you guys for all the info, I will forward it all on to my friend,a nd hopefully something will be resolved.

Matt

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Guest Matt In Vancouver

My motives, to stop an asshole from taking advantage of a good friend of mine.

I realize this is a tough concept for you to swallow, based on the tone of most of your posts I would assume you are not a really likeable person in real life, and therefore, couldn't understand someone caring about another enough to try and help them.

I'm sorry if you seem to see the dark twisted side of everything in life, some of us are genuinly nice people.

Ok start cutting me up.

sticks n stones.... nah nah ne nah nah : P

Matt

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Guest bottomboykk

Matt, the more I read of your posts, the more I like you! You are not only a very sexy guy (as evidenced by your web site), but you're smart, witty, and compassionate, too! Man, I need to get out to Vancouver soon or you need to come to Virginia! :)

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You're right, Matt, this is a very relevant topic. You're being kind to understand your friends trauma. Until someone's been there, it's hard to realize how life shattering this problem can be, not to mention isolating.

 

Is your friend a whimp? No offense, but many escorts are EXPERT manipulators - it's sort of a requirement for the job. They can easily find anyone's most sensitive areas of vulnerability. Make sure he's letting the loser know that he's got balls!

 

Another option is to simply find a "rough trade" hustler that needs money. For $100, he'd probably gladly teach the guy a memorable lesson in manners. I'm not joking.

 

I would more strongly encourage your friend to hire an attorney. It doesn't have to be a big deal. If nothing else, a good attorney would write the guy a "NASTY" letter to detail your friend's options for only a few hundred dollars.

 

Good luck. Let us know.

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Guest Skeptic

Well, if he's managed to collect ill-gotten gains in the area of 'six figures' with such ease (see Matt's early post), I can't see why he'd need to stay in a business that's anything but easy.

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Matt, one thing we learn in Reiki school is that we can only channel the client energy. We can't choose what they do with it. There may be some reason (like he hasn't learned the lesson this dis-ease was sent to teach him yet) why his higher self doesn't heal what we perceive as the problem. Or his higher self may have a prioritized list and be using the energy to solve something higher on the list. So we have to dissasociate ourselves from the outcome and not aim for just the one response, at least not with all of our personal committment.

And I have heard stories of Reiki masters working on people with broken bones who applied the Reiki before the bone was set and the bone knitted back together improperly and had to be rebroken and then set.

What I am saying is please do not forget the power of social inertia. If this has been going on this long, the thing most likely to happen is that it will remain the same. It is a pity and you are right to try to do something about it, but at the same time you need to make sure that you have some personal insulation. Please, do not let this break your heart!

Love, Bilbo

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Guest Matt In Vancouver

This is not breaking my heart, I just wanted to see if anyone had any ideas of a possible solution to this problem. Also to hopefully give my friend some much needed support via your posts.

question posted earlier 'is this guy still escorting', I have no idea, but I don't think so.

Again thanx for all of the info guys.

And just a comment on the post saying I feel no sympathy for your friend, not everyone is as comfortable coming to terms with thier sexuality as we are, and I would say the majority of my clients are either married or extremely closeted, and I would assume that is the case with most escorts. Who are we to judge a person on their comfort level?

Matt

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Guest Shooter

Thanks Matt!

 

You obviously have more compassion and appreciation for diversity than many of the 'clients' who post here and you're supposed to be the one who's just out to make a buck. Pretty damn amazing. You're a class act!

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Speaking of needing an attorney . . .

 

LAST EDITED ON Apr-30-00 AT 02:12PM (EST)[p]I had already concluded from Matt's postings on this thread that he must genuinely be an unusually nice guy. Kewl.

 

Because of time restraints, I don't normally read reviews on escorts who are out of my distance range. (It's a long ways from Bumfuck to Vancouver.) Out of curiosity, I read Matt's newest review and checked out his website. DAMMIT BOY!!! All that AND a nice guy??? What's the catch?

 

Book me a flight to Vancouver and have my lawyer draw up a Matt-gets-everything Codicile to my Will!

 

I know Skeptic is the resident expert on escorts' self-promotion, so is it just me or is Matt too humble? I'm with Shooter!

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Guest Skeptic

Expertise

 

I don't think I've set myself up as an "expert on escorts' self-promotion" here or anywhere else. Even so--and without revisiting the issue at tedious length--let me reiterate that whenever self-promotion is plainly just that (and not a post masquerading as an issue raised for serious discussion), I see no reason to object to it.

 

I never accused Matt of fabricating this extortion drama as a means of keeping his name and persona before us for days on end. I merely raised an eyebrow that his client could have the wherewithal and willingness to pay out $100,000 (or, as implied, even more)to an amateur crook, and yet be utterly helpless to do something about it--even in a small, provincial setting. In the absence of any explanation for this seeming discrepancy, that eyebrow is still raised. (And it's too bad no lawyer has spoken up on this issue, and the related matter of confidentiality.)

 

When, in post #12, Matt finally got around to acknowledging my post, he limited his answer to speculating that I might be so loveless and spiteful that true altruism such as his would be beyond my ken, and exhorted me to stop cutting him up. (In other words, he felt free to question my motives, while denying my right to question his.) But why did he so readily assume that my first post was intended only to 'cut him up'? Maybe the worst thing I was suggesting was that, while sincere in his concern, he might have been naive to credit his client's account of what was really going on. And that's why I questioned the 'six figures' claim a second time--an implausibility unexplained even now.

 

That Matt's earnest show of decency and compassion is celebrated by others here (together with longing looks, rewritten codicils, imaginary travel plans and air-kisses from bumfuck and faraway Virginia) doesn't discomfit me in the least: I'm happy for all concerned. And if Matt's frequent presence on these boards has brought him more business for REAL (as witnessed by Torjon's review today), I certainly don't begrudge him that success.

 

On the other hand, I don't see why honest skepticism about something posted here (particularly when nothing is offered to dispel it) should cause anyone else to be unhappy, or make them begrudge me the right to express it.

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Guest Matt In Vancouver

RE: Expertise

 

Absolutly good point.

Let me clarify a few things, this has been going on for YEARS, the 6 figures is a culmination of 10 years of payouts to this person. Now understand the gent who I am trying to help was a younger chap 10 years ago, and still had his children at home etc... he is not an imbicile and by no means incapable of making strong thought out discisions on his own, but I felt when he confided in me, truly upset, and attempted to give my own unprofessional advice on hiring a hitman to rid himself of this vermin(sp?) but decided maybe another aproach might be a bit more helpful.

Anyhow yes my name has been tossed around, and yes business is good, but trust me (yes sometimes you can trust a hooker: ) there was no alterior motive in this thread other than offering plausible solution to this problem.

later

Matt

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RE: Expertise

 

Get off me, Skep. I can't possibly see how my minor, humorously intended comment expressed unhappiness towards you or begrudged you the right to express anything. My comment had nothing to do with the skepticism you expressed earlier in this thread. (I had forgotten about it.) I simply intended to make sure you knew I had neither the desire or intention of stepping on your toes as our well qualified resident expert. Yet I still offended you? Damn.

 

On the other hand, I won't deny a subtle, albeit self-destructive, desire to ruffle your feathers on an otherwise quiet Sunday afternoon. But it was all in fun. You're the last person I would EVER purposefully contradict or argue a point. My dad taught me the best way to win an arguement is to, "call 'em a sack full of motherfuckers and run like hell." I didn't learn much more than that at a prestigious Baptist University in Texas. No, I couldn't come close to keeping up with you in that department. To be honest, you scare me, and I ain't scared of nothin'. And you need not have set yourself up as the expert; hell, we've already lovingly done that for you. You, of all people, should know I would NEVER begrudge your right to express anything. I don't think even God would go there. Your expressions bring joy to my otherwise overly dramatized life.

 

Also, please don't attempt to insult me by speculating about imaginary travel plans, etc. With the recent record breaking crude oil prices, we hillbillies from Bumfuck could easily show up in Vancouver, New York, or even a city near YOU. If so, could I buy you a cocktail without being ripped to shreds? Maybe we could get one of those 2 for 1 deals being debated in another thread. My treat.

 

You know I'm not overly gratuitous of the escorts on this site. So I got a little excited over Matt. Isn't that what really pissed you off? Sue me. One could do worse. I know I have.

 

I always look forward to your posts, and, as always, am sending you electronic love. Give 'em hell.

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Guest Skeptic

RE: Expertise

 

I hardly know what to say beond saying I'm sorry to have answered so ferociously. Mind you, it was mostly at Matt that my words were directed, but I really cannot quarrel with his most recent post, so let them pass and be forgotten.

 

Clearly, getting a mild answer is my undoing! My wolfsbane, my garlic wreathe. . .

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