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What is it like to be two escorts married to each other? Or an escort married to a non-escort?Inquiring minds want to know.

This is something I'm trying to continue up from the end of another thread where it was interesting but might have been easily ignored by those not interested in the main topic on that line.

And I now that it is about to be one topic of a very interesting chat room experience, but sometimes more gets said in this long format, where people can ruminate and talk without being interrupted.

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Guest Matt In Vancouver

Well I can only speak from my own experience, I was with a guy for 4 years, one of which I was 'working'. I can honestly say it was difficult on the relationship. At first he was excited, but soon there was a certain level of animosity, and jealousy. It's a difficult situation, and I'm sure ours was unique, for many reasons(he was a pretty public figure).

I've often wondered if I can find a decent guy that will accept what I do, and be able to build a lasting relationship while still maintaining my line of work.

It's tough, but I'm sure my 'Richard Gere' is out there, and those sales clerks on Rodeo drive are gonna be so sorry : ) (pretty woman reference for those of you that didn't catch it )

Any one else wanna share there expereince?

Matt

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LAST EDITED ON Apr-12-00 AT 01:37PM (CST)[p]I was in a relationship with a masseur rather than an escort for about 3 years, but I think the issues I had would have been the same. (I've mentioned in another thread that although he never promises anything other than a great massage, he winds up having sex with somewhere around a half of his clients, after the massage is officially over).

 

Jealousy was not an issue; we are both very sexual people. (And being able to squirt enough was also not an issue). What was an issue was availability - I work a regular day gig, and his clients were frequently evenings and weekends. We are still on good terms, and occasionally see each other for a role in the hay, but somebody else came along who

was willing to put me *first*, and conversely. (And we both have day gigs).

 

Curiously enough, the availability issue came up from the other side for a music teacher of mine

who plays in the SF Ballet Orchestra. Since he also works evenings and weekends, the people he could date tended to be other people working weekends and evenings, including bartenders, etc.

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The posting Honcho refers to is in the Masseurs section and really deserves reading. Please look it up. (And, yes, I'm saying that partly because I'd love to see more action on that part of the board.)

Just bein' nosy,

Bilbo

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Guest Rizsauvage

I'm just about 'dating' someone whom I met beacuse I called initially for his services. But we hit off so well that it seemed natural that we continue seeing each other without the monetary exchange. We haven't seen each other that long yet so I can't really ask him if he still plans on what he is doing. Yes there is jealousy on my part ... and the fact that if he met me while working, then he may well meet someone else...who's younger, thinner, and cuter.

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Guest urtimydime

Yes, I know the feeling that the emotion brings on about be jealous, thats how I meet the person that Im looking for (ESCORTNSD). He contacted me first online, but he did not have an escort profile, we just chatted for awhile. Well one thing lead to another and we finally met. But by chance I was surfing escorts4you.com, and who do I see but the man coming to see me in 2 days. I was really scared at the time, he never mentioned anything about money or anything, all I did was get him a plane ticket. Well things went great and he said he had something to tell me but couldnt, I said I would understand anything he told me, but he said nothing. We saw each other for about 6 months, me flying to SD him coming to chicago, it was great he is a real gentleman and fun to be with. But he was suppose to come and see me in January and didnt show up, I did chat with him a few times, but now he acts as if he ever knew me, I just really wanna know why, I think he thought it was becoming to serious. Its hard enough being in the closet and meeting someone like him who is just so str8 acting and appearing and falling for him. It didnt really bother me that he was an escort tho. I wish him nothing but the best, but would hope we could remain friends.

 

Sorry for going on!

 

Hope somebody can help me get in touch with him.

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Dearest Dime,

Are you sure you want to get in touch with him? I've tried to reconnect when someone abruptly ends a relationship and it's a dead end. The other guy has decided that he's not interested any more and I couldn't change his heart (the issue is emotional, not intellectual).

IMHO, you are better off closing the book on him and remembering all those good times and not chasing after a lost cause.

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Guest urtimydime

Dearest Dick,

 

I have all but closed the door, but the memories are still vivid in my mind, even after a year. I would just like to talk or see him one more time to say goodbye and hopefully just stay in touch as friends. He's truly a great guy, a real mans man.

 

Thanks for your comment.

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Guest Rizsauvage

Well, since my last posting of dating an escort I met while hiring his services, have become official. We're now boyfriends.

 

It seems to be working. I travel a lot and I was just in town recently spending two great weeks with him. I'm back on the road again and unfortunately, this routine is going to go on for the next few months until I can get settled for a more mundane job.

 

All is well, except that he has not stopped escorting. Not that I expect him to drop everything just because he's dating someone. But he never mentions about his 'job' since we started dating, nor of his 'overnights' - but I thought it was kind of weird that he suddenly decides to go into LA for a couple of days during the week...with a 'friend'. But eventually he told me the truth that he was there with a client.

 

Now I'm getting insecure and I don't know if I have the right to or not. He tells me that he has had 'offers' to be based in LA, with this client who promises him the world but he wouldn't because he'd rather be with me. I guess I have no right to demand that he stop seeing this client as from what I understand, he pays pretty well. But somehow I feel as though I suddenly have 'competition'. His roommate has assured me that his feelings for me are genuine, but yet I feel ... well, you know.

 

Whenever I call and he's not home and his roommate says that he's gone out with a friend and won't be back till the morning, I somehow suspect that it's someone else other than a friend! He tells me that he wants this relationship and that it's okay for me to see other escorts if I want to. But belive it or not, I have not hired another guy since I met this one.

 

I read Matt Adams' book, and I'm beginning to wonder if I'm turning into a client who is turning into a stalker. I haven't reached the calling-every-hour stage yet - but I can see myself wanting to know everything he is doing, or seeing.

 

PS - we have even talked about hiring an escort together for a threesome.

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Oh, gosh, I want to really respond to you and to completely not respond, all at once.

 

My fear is that you are looking for something that he may not be able to give, namely a committed, monogamous relationship.

 

But, perhaps he is trying to get there? It's so hard to know, because we are seeing this through your eyes. It would be wonderful for you if this worked.

 

But my strongest gut feeling is that you are looking for something that isn't possible and you are beginning to realize it. You may have been listening and watching with your heart and now you are beginning ot use your head.

 

Falling for guys who are not available for any of a thousand different reasons is classic behaviour and usually the only way to get to a place where you can be happy is to recognize the problem and take steps to correct it.

 

But, again, maybe I'm reading between lines that really aren't there.

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Guest Newbie

Apart from that, Mrs. Lincoln...

 

"All is well, except that he has not stopped escorting."

 

Honey, please read carefully what the wise and kind Boston Guy has to say.

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Guest MattAdams

RE: Relationships With Escorts

 

I am certainly no expert on relationships although I have had more than my fair share, but Hoo Boy asked me to respond.

 

The only thing I can say positive about relationships is enjoy them while they last. Of my first five partners only one is still living. I have to say the one that is still living is the one that has meant the most to me and after almost 20 years we would still be together if it wasn't for the fact he was and is very closeted.

 

As for the relationships while I was escorting. They did not work because of my work. Most importantly someone with a job never seems to understand someone that is self employed.

 

Now that I am retired I am currently in a relationship with an escort. Will it last? Doubtful, but he is in my life now, and I will enjoy it while it lasts and grieve when he moves on. For those wondering about the sex, sex has never been a big thing for me in a relationship. However, he is very touchy feely and always comes home to snuggle up when he comes home from work or decides to come to bed. For me, that is better than sex.

 

Can escorts have serious relationships? Well, I know three in Las Vegas that I would characterize as being in healthy relationships and I really enjoy observing the love and devotion they show each other. That is the exception.

 

Relationships really depend on a lot of factors. I was just at a straight frinds house and he is living with his ex wife who happens to be his fifth wife. A lady I worked with was also on her fifth husband but seems happy with him.

 

I've stopped counting my ex's and now just enjoy each relationship as it comes. Like my age my ex's are just a number and it is unlisted. I've stopped looking for my future ex-boyfriends now that they just seem to move themselves into the house.

 

Escorts like anyone generally have an inner desire to be in a stable and healthy relationship. Can you expect someone to give up their livlihood for a relationship? Generally not, especially if they are in a job they enjoy. Can someone tolerate the uncertain hours and the type of work of an escort? Generally not. Most people have 8-5 jobs and quite frankly really have no clue about what it takes to run any business let alone the escort business. How can most people in corporate america even understand the need to actually answer or return a customer's call or understand how to leave a voice message with fewer than six options?

 

My boyfriend and I are networked and have adjoining computers. He is a great companion and friend. He works long hours, spends a lot of time on his business, and makes a good companion. Yes I will be heartbroken when he is gone, but he came into my life at a time when I needed it and if he decides to move on for whatever reason in all probability someone else will come into my life. If I start exhausting the supply of boyfriends I will just switch to wives.

 

I have given over 100 radio interviews over the last two years. One cable network asked me to talk as an expert on relationships...I told my friends that I was asked to be an expert on relationships...they asked why? I said, because I have had so many of them - some of them even gave me their name :).

 

Matt Adams

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Dear Riz Sauvage,

 

With real regret, I second Newbie's second of Boston Guy, who is always there with the compassion and wisdom that I, for one, am sometimes too loathe to extend to others and certainly to myself. I second with the heartfelt intention of wanting to assure you that I am somewhere between the situation in which you found yourself in your first post to this thread and the more recent. The flavor of the former was hopeful, open-ended, humorous; of the latter, anxious, heavy, dark. I draw a lesson from the comparison.

 

Late last month I spent a week in New York, where I met an escort who has featured prominently on this site. Naturally, I wouldn't approach an escort otherwise; and in this case it seems that the other reviewers were even less pleased than I by whom I encountered. He not only lived up to every one of the many praises others had heaped on him. On top of all that, it turned out that this guy is a genuine intellectual. I don't mean that he earns his living by having ideas; but I do mean that he is a serious-minded, creative, thoughtful, and extremely intelligent man who has penetrating curiosity and plenty of critical acumen. In fact, during our second overnight, he got up and went home at 3:00 o'clock in the morning because I had to work the next day and we couldn't stop talking. (By "talking," I mean that we discussed, among other things: legal theory; moral theology; evolutionary sexuality; gender differences in relationship-formation -- all of this after sex.) Probably I needn't add that in addition to being smart, he is also sweet-natured, generous, funny, sensitive, warm, and affectionate.

 

Earlier in the week he had told me that he was dating somebody; but by the second of our meetings he said that it wasn't going well, that he didn't think he wanted to have a relationship with this guy, etc. etc. To make a long -- and probably rather predictable -- story short, I think that for a moment there we sort of fell for (or at least strongly inclined towards) each other. Before I left he called me up and urged me not to go back to Europe right away, or at least to take a later flight; and then he said that he was going to come to see me in Paris or Amsterdam in June.

 

I very much hope that he does, although of course I don't really have any way to ascertain just how serious he was/is. I do know that I cannot be emotionally indifferent to this man, because on an intellectual and spiritual level he seems to be the kind of person who interests me and excites all of the creative, loving, and nurturing powers I have, which are legion.

 

It has to be said, however, that within ten days of my leaving New York, the temperature of his e-mails began to cool and their frequency to drop off. I do not think that this is a judgment "against" me on his part. This is not rejection. Nor do I think that I badly misunderstood him in New York. I do think that for his own reasons, which might have nothing to do with me at all, he has decided to veer away from this and is doing it with all the grace and consideration he knows how to deploy. At all events, he is a free agent and I have absolutely no right even to imagine why this may be so. I take comfort in reminding myself that he would never be deliberately hurtful.

 

To be honest, though, I would be lying if I said that I don't care, that I am not disappointed, that I don't have to fight back the temptation to feel "hurt." I would also be lying if I said that my head -- not, as Boston Guy would say, my heart -- was misinforming me when it reminded me above all other things of the great differences between us, not least in our ages. (On this site, by the way, I once read a wise comment to the effect that a younger man is interested in an older man not "in spite" of the age difference but "because" of it. And in this case I know absolutely that that is true.)

 

In the event I am left once again contemplating the transcendent mystery that every person is, not only to others but even to himself. I feel fairly certain that this is a man whom I might well grow to love and to cherish and with whom I might be able to build something that I want with all my heart. But the operative verb there is: "I feel." I know -- mark the difference -- that I need to husband my own feelings before I'm in a position to husband someone else's.

 

I did not go to New York expecting that this would happen. I did not go to New York armed with the certain knowledge that I want a relationship, not a "date." I did not go to New York wondering how I would manage if I had to cope once again with this particular and most excrutiating kind of disappointment. But there you are. And to tell you the truth, I'd rather have been disappointed and deeply sad, as I am, than to have missed out on spending a few days feeling more alive, more alert, more interested in everything about me than I have felt for almost ten years.

 

Least of all did I go to New York with any sense whatever that I would discover, as I think I have, that I am not wired for the escort game. As a person I am just too straightforward to navigate the complex shoals of innuendo and para-relationships that I find in those waters. Despite my experience of life I seem to be too naive to know how to interpret what the escorts say to me, both in words and print. I seem unable, as they and their clients are, to pigeon-hole my feelings into boxes that are neatly marked "appropriate" and "inappropriate." I can't be cynical enough to play-pretend at love.

 

Thus I have concluded that for me it is pointless to spend a hell of a lot of money and even more emotional energy on the search for something that is not likely to be found there. For me, the (great) escorts are too good at what they do. I too easily believe in the reality of the illusion (which I have been paying them to create) that the pearl of great price is indeed buried in their field. It isn't. Not my pearl, anyhow.

 

So I think I'd probably be wise to move down to the "Masseurs" forum for my physical needs and to go back to the healthy if emotionally meager fare of my wonderful friendships for the other. Obviously, I just don't seem to know how to manage my feelings as well as do so many other men who contribute to this site, men who can do all this for fun. I really do wish that I could, that I could "have fun" and "relax." But I can't and that's why I haven't been visible here for about a month. In fact, I may disappear altogether before long.

 

Please know that there is someone out here in cyberspace who is thinking of you with very, very special concern.

 

Will

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Will, I was concerned that we hadn't seen you since your return to Europe and I feared something might have gone wrong. Now, having read your post, I am reminded of the word "bittersweet."

 

The very great distance between you and this other man -- geographical, of course, but also distance in age and experience and the nature of the worlds you see on a day-to-day basis when you walk out your respective doors -- make it seem quite likely that high emotions will tend to diminish and fade a bit with the passage of time.

 

But that does not mean that what you felt or he felt was false or not real or not honest. It's possible, I guess, that he was spinning an image for you, but somehow it doesn't quite seem that way. I have had experiences with escorts now and again that I believe were quite real, quite honest and that cut through some of the walls that are generally so strongly constructed between an escort and his client. And, though I cannot put my finger on it, it seems as if you may have just had such an experience as well.

 

If it does not last, you are nonetheless the richer for it. It is better, I think, to experience the highs and the lows than merely to exist on some middle plane of grey.

 

And, having been there, I recommend not making many decisions and definitely none of the life variety until you are past the melancholy that inevitably accompanies the realization that what might have been may well not be. Life will look better again soon. I promise.

 

And I also recommend that you do not throw away your friendship with this young man. It may not evolve as you thought it would and it may be a friendship instead of another kind of relationshp. But it sounds like you both connected strongly and I think you should investigate ways to see him again.

 

But at the moment you are feeling a loss and the loss of any relationship, even one that showed promise but did not have the chance to get off the ground, involves a grieving process. It's normal and it's human and it's healthy. And it's perfectly ok to feel bad. But it's also worthwhile trying not to draw conclusions from it that might be too monumental or that will seem not right when you have more distance and more perspective.

 

How was the Wagner?

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RE: Relationships With Escorts

 

It seems to me that the two relationships my friends here are having qualms about have problems that are only complicated by, not caused by, one of the people involved being an escort.

For one, there is the fact that there are many different kinds of relationships. If you want a closed relationship and your prospective wants an open one, it doesn't matter whether he is being paid when he plays around on you. Are you going to enjoy yourself or are you going to allow the green eyed monster to wreck what you have going? (Yes, I am in favor of open relationships, where when he is there it is because he definitely wants to be there. Have you seen that new movie about the priest and the rabbi? Try, it's very funny and listen very closely to the good advice the older priest gives the younger one about how a commitment means more if you have to decide to continue it at least once a decade.)

As for the other, as someone already mentioned, the sheer distance between you is working against you, of course. However, did anyone mention the fact that relationships cought on the rebound rarely work? It's quite possible that he only thought that he was ready for another relationship (with anyone) but turned out to just plain need some time to get himself back together without using you, one of his best friends, as glue.

I with everyone happy happy. Can I say mazel tov, or does that not apply?

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Guest Rizsauvage

RE: Relationships With Escorts

 

LAST EDITED ON May-14-00 AT 08:57PM (EST)[p]Thanks guys - for your support and comments. I think the main issue here is the distance and my absence that is making me go a little 'crazy'.

 

I could move into my bf's homebase , and I have indicated that it might / will happen after the summer. In the meantime, I have to shuffle back and forth between California and Europe/Australia. We communicate everyday via email and our acknowledegement has grown from the initial dear.... to hi babe phase. He got a cell phone specially so that I could call him whenever I can. However, there are times when I call and it goes into voicemail. Then I start getting 'worried'. It is no different I guess if someone is on the job and suddenly has to be away for a while.

 

Okay maybe I am also getting the feeling that I am becoming a sugar daddy. I'm about 13 years older than he is. I have bought him clothes, accesories, and essentials. He didn't demand any of it, but rather I pressed them to him. I've paid for his trips, taken him out to dinner and movies. I have never expected him to pay for his share nor mine. We have never discussed money. But I did give him about $200 when I got there to see him.

 

But on the toward the last day of our trip together he sheepishly asked me for some 'spending' money. At which time my heart literally dropped to the floor. I guess I should have expected something like this. I mean he was spending all his time with me the past 2 weeks and he didn't see any clients. He asked for much less from what I expected, but I gave more than what he asked for in the end.

 

I cannot say that this guy's out for the big fish. I mean, I already mentioned that there have been other bigger and better offers. But maybe I am and have not been the demanding one. I let him go about doing his thing and am not there all the time to watch over him. But yet, as his roommate pointed out, I seem to be the only one who knows the most information about him.

 

I'll be back to see him in 10 days. Perhaps by spending more time together, we might iron a few more things out. I'm not 'in love' yet. I'm holding off as much and as long as I can.

 

I should also add that he has not been reviewed on this site. And I am hoping that he never will be.

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RE: Relationships With Escorts

 

Matt: Notwithstanding your dismissal of the popular and overrated LTR goal, your comments reflect a level of maturity not easily achieved. I'm impressed. The next step is to reconcile Will's thinking with yours. But, how do we get from Point A to Point B? I think the only reasonable answer is thru experience. Unfortunately, wouldn't you agree that the needed experience is mostly painful? And isn't that exactly what we're trying to avoid? Is there an answer?

 

I found very interesting your subtle point that if the boys are still escorting, at least they're working. Neither Will or Riz reference their current financial links with their boyfriends. That makes me suspicious. Though my experience is too limited to even be considered, I've always been brought back to reality when I realize I'm providing food, shelter, clothing, plane tickets, phone calls, and the rest of the unending list. That situation doesn't even count as a friendship, let alone a relationship.

 

Personally, I'm in Will's shoes one day and yours the next, thus proving I'm hopelessly fucked up and in need of a sharp tongue lashing from Skeptic!

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RE: Relationships With Escorts

 

In a traditional hetero relationship prior to, oh say, WWII, wasn't the husband often older and expected to supply all of the financial needs of the wife? I'm not saying that we should emulate that situation, but that it has been shown to work for certain people. Remember the old joke about a "free" relationship costing you more in the long run than a relationship with an escort.

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Guest Aaron Lawrence

RE: Relationships With Escorts

 

Hiya,

 

Like Matt, Hooboy also asked me to respond to this message.

 

Unlike Matt though, I have been in a successful relationship for a number of years now. Matter o' fact, the lucky guy (Jeff) and I had a committment ceremony last summer. (Oh hell, let's call it what it is: a gay wedding!) Anyway, we've bought a house, moved in together, and are ecstatically happen. All the while I'm continuing my full-time career in the sex industry.

 

Of course, it hasn't always been this simple. Jeff cried when I first told him I was escorting several years ago. He felt very betrayed, and didn't like the idea I was with other men. I don't blame him for his reaction either. I had verbally agreed to be monogamous, and had violated that agreement. I fully understood that he would be hurt by it.

 

My own morality aside here (that's another conversation), I quit escorting at Jeff's request to find a "real" job. I started working 60 hours/week at a hellish job working with retarded adults in a group home. After 6 months of that, I told Jeff that I hated my job more than I loved him, and that I wanted to quit to go back to escorting. I offered to stick with the job if he insisted, but stated that it would probably be the end of the relationship (and the job) a few months later. I hated the stress of my job that much.

 

After much talking and negotiation, Jeff gave me his blessing to quit my job and return to escorting. Our income went way up, giving Jeff the financial freedom to quit his job and start working for himself in his own self-employment endeavor (not sex-related).

 

Even with his blessing, he spend the first two years of my escorting being extremely jealous. He wanted to know where I was, who I was with, and when I would be back. He sat with me at my computer watching most of my online coversations and reading most of my e-mail with me.

 

It drove my crazy, but I understood what he was going through. For the first time he was accepting that I was out there doing "those things" things without him. He felt as if he lost a great deal of control in my life and our relationship, and felt powerless without it. Learning everything he could about my work was one way of gaining some of that back.

 

In time, he grew to realize that my work wasn't a threat to him. I didn't run off with anyone else, and I always came home to him. And although I have had sex and with hundreds of different clients, I have never given my heart to a single one of them. That belongs to Jeff solely. In time we even began discussing getting married, and unthinkable thought years earlier when he said he would only marry me after I "retired" from this and went 100% monogamous.

 

Now, we're as happy as we can possibly imagine. My business is successful beyond my wildest dreams, and Jeff's own business is taking off and keeping him busy. We live in a wonderful home, have a cat that we adore, and are able to spend a great deal of quality time together with each other.

 

Best of all, he's not jealous anymore. Well, mostly. He still doesn't like hearing the sexual details about my meetings, which is fine. And he doesn't particularly like it when someone young (under 25) hires me - that makes him feel pretty uncomfortable. But otherwise he doesn't care who hires me, or if I jet off around the country for a week with a client. It's work.

 

And that, my friend, is the only way to ever truly get past the jealousy when you're dating an escort. Escorting is just that: work. Sexual and intimate work, yes. But work nonetheless.

 

That doesn't mean every relationship with an escort will work out if you're not jealous. By all means that isn't the case. There are many sacrifices that one has to make to truly be involved with an active escort. Less sex is one thing (he's gotta save his energy for his work). Having others feel they have a "claim" on him is another. But in return you get other advantages, such as financial freedom or the perks that go with being self-employeed.

 

Give the pros and cons some thought. If you can deal with 'em, and if the jealousy isn't a huge issue, then go ahead and date an escort. If not, then save both of you a lot of heartache and don't ever start. Just remember that 99% of relationships never get off the ground anyway, so don't be surprised if things don't pan out. His escorting probably won't be the real reason for the relationship not working out.

 

--Aaron

 

PS, As for making the transition from client to boyfriend, understand it's a one-way trip.

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Guest Aaron Lawrence

RE: Relationships With Escorts

 

Oops, hit post.

 

As for making the transition from client to boyfriend, remember that as an escort, it is his job to make you feel like you're the most special person in the entire world. As his boyfriend, you won't get that treatment all of the time. It never ceases to amaze me how many of my clients say how they'd like to be romantically involved with me. Even when I explain that they wouldn't get the VIP treatment 24/7, they still want to date me. In reality, I know they wouldn't want to be involved with me. As an escort, I'd never ignore a client to play computer games. As a real person, I ignore my lover all the time. : )

 

Did that make sense?

 

--Aaron

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RE: Relationships With Escorts

 

RO, in answer to your questions (whether implied or direct I can't remember)and Aaron Lawrence's unasked-for advice, I'd like just to say the following. First, this escort is not -- not by any means -- my "boyfriend." Nor was there ever any discussion about our becoming boyfriends, as both of us are mature enough to know that such conversation would be ridiculous after only a few days' acquaintance. I related the events exactly as they happened and tried very hard to keep my descriptions of motives personal. The last thing I'd want would be to second-guess him, to attribute thoughts and desires to him as though I could read his mind. I can't. Second, when we discussed his coming to Europe to see me, he volunteered -- I did not ask -- to fly on his own resouces. There was some guarded and embarrassed talk about a "fee," but he suggested that we call it an even swap. I agreed because the notion of this being a commercial enterprise bothered me. (It does not bother me one little bit, by the way, that he is an escort.) After all, my knowledge of what he'd be seeing in Paris and/or Amsterdam is professional and expert; if I were being paid to do for a total stranger what I'd be doing for him, my daily fee would be far, far in excess of even what Sean the World Escort and Self-Described Magnificent seems able to garner for his bewildering charms. Money, in other words, is not at issue here.

 

What is at issue here, as again I tried to make clear, is the simple fact that I don't think I'm the kind of person who can safely and recreationally play the escort game. It's a wonderful game, and I wish I could do it. But I don't think I can, any more than I can throw a baseball without sending all the homophobes in the world running for their bats.

 

Finally, my only purpose in posting my experience was to let Rizsauvage know that I identified with him and was thinking about him with concern. I didn't intend to give advice. The self-protection that we pull over ourselves on this website is far thicker than any condom. Whether it will prove in the long run to be as safe as a condom is another matter, and another reason why I don't think I've got the right psychological profile to play public hardball with my private life.

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RE: Relationships With Escorts

 

Will:

 

Though you're being overly defensive, I'm sorry if my post offended you. I always enjoy noticing a post is from you. Truthfully, I have absolutely no business in this thread and I appreciate you helping to make myself aware of that fact.

 

Be reminded that YOU wrote "this is a man whom I might well grow to love and to cherish and with whom I might be able to build something that I want with all my heart". You're right, 'boyfriend' was definitely the WRONG description to use.

 

Also, since the fires here in Bumfuck have thankfully been reduced to seemingly reasonable levels, I had hoped to refrain from being bitchy until at least noon. A miraculous task, so it ain't gonna happen... Have you considered the reason for your friend's recent diminished interest MIGHT be because you failed to respond with a counter-offer to provide the European airfare? I hope it's not the case in your situation, but similar things happen all the time. This technique is the escorts' version of marketing, and it takes a skilled expert to master it successfully. I'm personally not offended by it in a business context, but it can be disappointing on a personal level. Use of the technique is certainly no worse than various things I do in the pursuit of financial gain. I consider it a point from which to negotiate.

 

Good luck, Will.

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Guest Daddy-In-Training

RE: Relationships With Escorts

 

>RO, in answer to your questions whether implied

>or direct I can't remember)and Aaron Lawrence's

>unasked-for advice....

 

Will, This is a public forum...Therefore it is impossible for "unasked-for advise" to appear. I found Aaron's reponse to be on-topic and nicely done.

 

-- Daddy

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RE: Relationships With Escorts

 

Will is normally so very gracious that I suspect we are seeing him in a vulnerable period; in fact, I may be wrong, but I suspect that may be part of the problem. Although we may be anonymous, we are not unknown.

 

I recommend patience and consideration all around.

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