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Initial contact with an escort


youngboldone
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Sometimes the communication stops after 2 texts. I contacted a popular and well reviewed companion asking if we could have a quick call to chat about a potential meeting. He responded we could set up a call but when I tried to schedule a time he did not respond. I gave up after 2 texts. I like to speak on the phone to ask basic questions and see if we are compatible. Usually a couple of minutes; I don't like my time wasted and hence don't like to waste people's time but I still like to hear someone's voice if I have not met them...

 

As someone else suggested when i posted i was really down about it, I just needed to move on. There are many other companions out there who will respond and why be down about the one who decided he was not interested in setting something up with me... That was great advice from another forum member. In the end perhaps it's a numbers game but not as bad as dating...

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I'm looking for some honest, constructive feedback to help me in this area. I I am open to new ideas of how to do this. Thanks.

 

http://ilikepinga.com/2017/08/29/clients-escorts/

http://ilikepinga.com/2017/08/31/first-contact/

 

Those two address your concerns in this thread. If you are interested, there is a third post in the series: http://ilikepinga.com/2017/09/22/fake-pictures/

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Even a 'super popular' guy should have the business sense to send a quick 'sorry, not available/interested/breathing/etc' email. It ain't rocket science.

 

Stick to escorts with a collection of positive reviews. Don't look in the cracks for your first several meets. Spend the time and the money to get a guy who's going to give you a fantastic, comfortable experience.

 

That's not to say overpay... Just use common sense and if he's not giving you the communication you need, say something. If he ignores it, move forward.

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I'm looking for some honest, constructive feedback to help me in this area. In a past thread I was outspoken in my belief that it's better to correspond back and forth first with an escort to get a feel for whether we are compatible before actually setting up an appointment. Many people told me that was the wrong approach and that it was better to set up an appointment and then work out the particulars. Maybe escorts prefer this approach because the reasoning is that clients are less likely to cancel if an appointment is already on the books?

 

Here's the thing. I'm not looking to hire purely for a physical bang and then out the door. Don't get me wrong. The sex is important to me, but what I am primarily looking for is a boyfriend experience that leads to the sex. I want an honest, genuine connection, deep kissing, affection. It's virtually impossible to determine from an ad alone if the escort can deliver this. To know for certain requires a willingness to correspond and even talk briefly on the phone.

 

I need some help with this, though, because lately I have had rotten luck both ways. I have gotten blocked twice by escorts now in the past three weeks. In the first scenario, I tried it my way. I contacted the escort, told him I was interested in his profile and wanted to talk about what I was looking for to see if we'd be compatible. Things were going along okay (I thought) for about 5-6 brief text messages back and forth. I was ready to take it to the next step, so I asked if he'd be willing to talk to me on the phone for a couple minutes so I could elaborate on the type of meeting I was looking for. Silence. After a day or two went by with no response, I found I'd been blocked.

 

So I decided to try it the other way. I contacted an escort to let him know I liked his profile and offered a date and time to meet along with desired length of session (which was a guess on my part because I had no idea if there was any chemistry between us). He agreed to the time. He didn't ask me about what I wanted out of the session, what my interests or desires were...nothing. So I brought it up. We texted back and forth three times, and then he blocked me.

 

To say I am frustrated is an understatement. Neither approach seems to be working. Many guys on here seem to handle booking with ease and effortlessness. So how detailed are you when you initially contact an escort? Is it not expected that the escort will take the lead in determining what you want to do during a session? It just seems like most escorts don't want to take even the littlest amount of time to find out anything about you, which seems wrong considering the amount of money they are being paid for their time.

 

Truly puzzled, so any help is welcome. I am open to new ideas of how to do this. Thanks.

 

Whatever you said to him was annoying... That's why he blocked you because he thought you were a waste of time.

 

Hiring ain't rocket science.

This is a great example of why more than one text or email is necessary. I, too, worry about sending personal details to a wrong number. So the first text is just to establish that I've reached the correct person.

 

Why would you do that?

 

Just check the number and text him if you want to top or bottom, and a few other details. Suggest a time for him to call you for a couple of minutes.

 

Do you recognize that there really wasn't much difference between either approach? On the second one you committed to a time first but then you proceeded with multiple texts. It still screams "high maintenance" and potentially unrealistic expectations. If you had a very specific kink, I can see needing to provide more detail, but it sounds like you're just looking for a good BFE. That's really all you need to ask the escort or tell him what you're looking for. After that, you need to relax and let things play out. You can't force intimacy -- especially on the first meeting -- and sometimes you've got to kiss a couple toads to find someone you would really like to build some level of escort/client intimacy with.

 

Exactly just say @youngboldone you want BFE, safe sex, top/bottom, etc.

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In the past, when I had just started hiring, I used to email or text, whichever was preferred by the escort. When I didn't get a ping with an email I would send a text; if none with a text, I'd send an email. No answer to both, I did not waste my time. When there was an answer, I was as succinct as I could get about my stats, what I liked, what was needed, when, how long and in or out call. Then no answer, move on; answer, would then simply confirm date and time. That's all it took. But then, there was a particular escort that I did this with, and the date was 10 days off and I got frisky -- I sent him a very titillating email of my plans for him on Monday. His answer indicated more exchange but I made him wait until Tuesday, then Wednesday, etc. By our meeting on Saturday we just stripped our clothes off as soon as I was inside the room and went at it like rabbits! And had a great laugh at the end.

 

There have also been a few escorts I really wanted to have some time with who never would answer. I happened to mention this to another escort re: one and a different person (client) about the other. They both said, "Next time he comes through, try again." Bingo!! for both. I never asked, neither volunteered an answer but now I see those guys all the time and I get a text when they even think they will be through my area (I need a few weeks notice because of work).

 

There is no rhyme or reason to any of it except that, for me, I have found that the more experienced the escort, the less difficulty in scheduling, including just a quick phone call. Some of them even suggest this before the meet. One becomes very adept at shorthand in texts especially. If it's someone you have already been with: "Hi. Can you meet on Tues, 9th, 2 hours in the morning?" "9th sounds great, what time?" "10:30" "See you then."

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Unfortunately, MikeyGMin, I don't have the kind of funds to be able to afford toads. I have to make sure they are princes before I commit.

But doesn't your experience show that in the escort business requiring confirmation that a prince awaits doesn't work? My budget is also limited, and there's always the risk that my limited communications will fail me, but so far it's worked for me and many others. If a guy gets rave reviews on the forums and he sounds good to you, go for it.

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On occasion if someone is super popular - I use Rentmen to make a donation - I include my regular email in the message.

 

No question - its likely he gets many emails, texts, etc. some guys are good at responding - some are not.

 

I use this to get his attention. there have been occasions - I sent $ to rentmen - ending up communicating and decide it not a good match. In that case, I consider the rentmen as an expense

 

Note. everytime I do this - Capital One sends me a text to make sure everything ok. I am always sure to answer them promptly

 

Please note that donations via rentmen (by which I assume you mean the site's "send a membership gift" option) is highly inefficient. Rentmen charges you more than the escort would pay for the ad (and depending on what rate he has locked in, sometimes much more). But you are right, it does show that you're serious. Might I suggest an amazon e-gift card sent to his email address instead? Or to my email address? :p

 

Kevin Slater

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Please note that donations via rentmen (by which I assume you mean the site's "send a membership gift" option) is highly inefficient. Rentmen charges you more than the escort would pay for the ad (and depending on what rate he has locked in, sometimes much more). But you are right, it does show that you're serious. Might I suggest an amazon e-gift card sent to his email address instead? Or to my email address? :p

 

Kevin Slater

Thanks for confirming this. I was suspecting this to be the case, so I never sent a membership gift, but I wasn’t sure and never asked.

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@Tarte Gogo has hit the nail on the head.

 

I used a similar message when I hired, except for 3 additional items. I used to ask if his pics were recent and say that I was so interested because he was in such great shape. I then stated what was important to me (deep kissing), that I was only a top and older, mentioning what I found hot (a guy swallowing my load) but stressed this was not a deal-breaker, and asked if we were compatible. Last, I offered to answer any questions he might have for me.

 

I was always polite and succinct. As @Tarte Gogo said, there's simply no need for numerous messages.

I don’t think he saw my posts, though. I think he pressed the ignore button on my profile a long time ago.

 

Someone else will have to tell him how to put all the communication necessary in one single text.

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@youngboldone, here is what I typically write in my first email via the Rent.men email service:

 

"Hi [insert name of escort]

 

Your ad caught my eye and I want to see if we are compatible and possibly hire you. I'm a very oral bottom and love to suck, rim, and lick; muscle worship is a huge turn-on as is gear and underwear. When the chemistry is right I like to kiss and cuddle and if we decide to go there I am a bottom. I'm thinking of hiring on [insert date or dates]. What are your thoughts?

 

Thanks and looking forward to hearing from you

 

rvwnsd"

 

Fewer than five times since texting has become commonplace has an escort told me that he would only communicate by text. I contact guys who are in their mid-twenties to their fifties. Most will reply via email whether or not they would enjoy what I describe and more than half remark that they appreciate my approach. After this point I've had guys want to switch to texting, which is fine with me.

 

This begs the question: why is your experience so different than mine and the others who use a similar approach? Not knowing exactly what you write, I can speculate:

  1. You are contacting escorts who are not, in general, good matches for you
  2. You are saying something that causes the escorts to become concerned and block your phone number
  3. You are catching them at inconvenient times
  4. They all have poor reading comprehension skills
  5. They are all assholes
  6. None of them want to establish commonality before meeting
  7. Some combination of the above

You mentioned not being able to afford hiring "a toad." I don't think anyone can afford (or wants to) hire someone who will not deliver a good time. However, there are no guarantees that the playdate will be perfect. Based on commentary you have made in this thread and others, that seems to be your expectation.

 

Here are a few suggestions to make your hiring experience more pleasant:

  1. State what you want and when you want it up-front. Don't make the escort wait for five emails, texts, or phone calls to figure out you want to blow him and cuddle afterwards on Tuesday.
  2. When you find a guy who interests you, ask about him in The Deli. When you ask, keep in mind that reviews are not allowed. To avoid that, invite guys to contact you via PM (formerly "Private Message," now "Starting a Conversation") with details.
  3. When you ask us about a guy, tell us what you like to do, the kinds of guys you like, and where you want to meet. That way, if you want a smooth, ultra-cut blonde in LA I won't recommend Raul G Manzo. Likewise, if you want an edgy, super-hung, brunette in Chicago I won't recommend Rod Hagen. (Both are fabulous, by the way)

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I don’t usually include a lot of details in my first text just in case I got a wrong number.

I am not sure how you can get the wrong number? It is right there on RM and you can just select it, you don’t have to write it down, or remember it, you can just copy it.

 

2_D33_DD43_64_CC_42_E3_AA79_56_E57387_D249.jpg

 

Then paste it in your Google Voice app:

 

DBBA6_D10_EB2_E_43_D5_BDAE_2_A4755321_E94.jpg

 

 

 

 

7_A8_B4_D8_B_2_F3_B_42_E3_B604_59203_B2_BBA0_C.jpg

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Let's say that you have a specific condition that needs a very general but not lengthy discussion so that everybody (particularly me) feels comfortable about what might happen during a session. If after your initial communications about time, price, and general interests and things seem to being to be going well, do you leave things vague and just ask for a phone call to discuss something. Or do you say exactly what it is but that it would be more efficient to talk on the phone because he might have more questions about the situation. To wait and not say anything about the situation until the session itself I would think would be the least preferable because you might spend the first part of the session discussing the circumstances and not get down to the real fun.

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I am not sure how you can get the wrong number? It is right there on RM and you can just select it, you don’t have to write it down, or remember it, you can just copy it.

 

 

Maybe it’s more about getting the “wrong person”. I just want to be sure it’s the provider I’m texting with before I ask about details.

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Maybe it’s more about getting the “wrong person”. I just want to be sure it’s the provider I’m texting with before I ask about details.

 

Hmmm, I’d call that over cautious.

Here is why:

- I have hired over 150 different people on 4 different continents. Not a single time did I reached the wrong person.

 

- I don’t think escorts hand over their phone to their boyfriend to have a look at the texts from clients.

 

- Sure, in theory a brand new escort could have typed the wrong number and put up someone else’s # by mistake on RM, but if the ad has been up for a couple of weeks or more, he had all the time to correct it once he realised he wasn’t getting a single text, from any client at all!

 

So I safely assume the number gets to the right person, I would only worry for a completely new and inexperienced escort.

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Maybe it’s more about getting the “wrong person”. I just want to be sure it’s the provider I’m texting with before I ask about details.

An easy way to ascertain this before launching into details via text is to text "Hi, [insert name of escort] this is [insert your name] and I'm inquiring about your ad."

 

Once he replies you can launch into the spiel about liking whatever you like.

 

The probability of you reaching someone other than the escort who is running a non-escort ad is slim to none.

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I'm looking for some honest, constructive feedback to help me in this area. In a past thread I was outspoken in my belief that it's better to correspond back and forth first with an escort to get a feel for whether we are compatible before actually setting up an appointment. Many people told me that was the wrong approach and that it was better to set up an appointment and then work out the particulars. Maybe escorts prefer this approach because the reasoning is that clients are less likely to cancel if an appointment is already on the books?

 

Here's the thing. I'm not looking to hire purely for a physical bang and then out the door. Don't get me wrong. The sex is important to me, but what I am primarily looking for is a boyfriend experience that leads to the sex. I want an honest, genuine connection, deep kissing, affection. It's virtually impossible to determine from an ad alone if the escort can deliver this. To know for certain requires a willingness to correspond and even talk briefly on the phone.

 

I need some help with this, though, because lately I have had rotten luck both ways. I have gotten blocked twice by escorts now in the past three weeks. In the first scenario, I tried it my way. I contacted the escort, told him I was interested in his profile and wanted to talk about what I was looking for to see if we'd be compatible. Things were going along okay (I thought) for about 5-6 brief text messages back and forth. I was ready to take it to the next step, so I asked if he'd be willing to talk to me on the phone for a couple minutes so I could elaborate on the type of meeting I was looking for. Silence. After a day or two went by with no response, I found I'd been blocked.

 

So I decided to try it the other way. I contacted an escort to let him know I liked his profile and offered a date and time to meet along with desired length of session (which was a guess on my part because I had no idea if there was any chemistry between us). He agreed to the time. He didn't ask me about what I wanted out of the session, what my interests or desires were...nothing. So I brought it up. We texted back and forth three times, and then he blocked me.

 

To say I am frustrated is an understatement. Neither approach seems to be working. Many guys on here seem to handle booking with ease and effortlessness. So how detailed are you when you initially contact an escort? Is it not expected that the escort will take the lead in determining what you want to do during a session? It just seems like most escorts don't want to take even the littlest amount of time to find out anything about you, which seems wrong considering the amount of money they are being paid for their time.

 

Truly puzzled, so any help is welcome. I am open to new ideas of how to do this. Thanks.

 

 

In your desire to have a perfect experience, the expectations you communicate may overwhelm the escort. You're not marrying him. You are spending a few hundred dollars for an hour or two of his time.

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You're getting blocked because they assume that you're cyber masturbating. I've been seeing a semi retired escort for about a year, and I've been privy to some of the nonsense - repeated phone calls, 20 texts, etc. that he receives, even with his ad down. Escorts assume that you're wasting their time, like waiters expect a shitty tip from someone that falls all over them and talks to them throughout the meal. I've only had a phone conversation prior to meeting once (actually with the one I'm seeing now) before we headed out for an extended trip. I've met one escort in a bar before traveling so we could feel each other out, and paid him for an hour for his time. You would be best served by writing ONE succinct email with your desires, and then gamble, preferably with someone that is reviewed here. The BFE is a tough find when you take the BF out of the equation. Stop overthinking, and take a gamble with someone that is reviewed, and that you find attractive. The worst thing that will happen is that you get laid.

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In your desire to have a perfect experience, the expectations you communicate may overwhelm the escort. You're not marrying him. You are spending a few hundred dollars for an hour or two of his time.

@youngboldone, find an escort you like, book a time, go and see him and let him pound you into oblivion (or vice versa). Stop beating about the bush. Once you've been there once, refine your approach. I have met several well regarded escorts who are on here and didn't discuss things in excruciating detail. Guess what, it worked each time.

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In your desire to have a perfect experience, the expectations you communicate may overwhelm the escort. You're not marrying him. You are spending a few hundred dollars for an hour or two of his time.

 

x100

 

Sounds like the OP is fine until he starts communicating his needs/expecations. That is when he gets blocked, indicating that what you are saying in that space is the dealbreaker.

 

OP, try to listen the collective wisdom so far: you may be exhausting the escort with a laundry list of rules and requirements, making you seem high maintenance and needy. Are you texting long, detailed prose with a romance novel of expectations? If so stop.

 

One, it's not working.

 

Two, it's not necessary. You can express, succintly, that you're not looking for disconnect wham-bam-goodbye and desire some level of intimacy, care, and connection (and by the way, this is a fair quest). It doesn't take a whole lot of back-and-forth. And if you've done your due diliegence and are contactng a popular, well-reviewed escort, chances are he's a people person who knows what he's doing and doesn't have problems connecting and bonding with clients. You don't need to choreograph for him how to do his job; nobody likes being micromanaged. He'll know what you're getting at.

 

And I'd suggest reflecting on feedback about adjusting expections. The post reminding clients that they are not the center of the escort's world -- that he has other legitimiate responsibilities and priorities -- was spot on. Your response -- that a pro should be able to make you feel like he is the center of the world when he's with you -- is true, but think about what you're saying. You want the escort to center you *before* he's with you. As has been pointed out, this is not fair, and even if it were, it's not really possible for a guy that's in-demand due to that thing called time.

 

Some clients seem to forget, or not care, that we too have to eat, sleep, groom, medicate, socialize, call mom, workout to keep that rockin body you expect, run errands, do household chores, work on life goals, AND be emotionally present available for our already-scheduled appointments. Expecting an escort to *also* commit emotionally to the demands and small talk of the army of complete strangers texting and emailing him daily is disrespectful, especially when experience has taught him that 90% of them are flakes, weirdos, and/or pic collectors.

 

I think most mature, well-adjusted adults can understand that. And a popular, seasoned escort is not going to, and doesn't have to, waste energy on those who can't.

Edited by Aaron_Bauder
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Ok, then I have absolutely no advice at all for you for not getting blocked because you send too many messages before you actually say what you want.

 

1. You are incredibly unlucky, or are you replying to very shady ads?

2. Even if you had sent my text message instead, where is the harm? You are helping them by pointing out that some escort has posted their number on rentmen, and yours is a burner phone or a google voice number anyway, they are not going to trace you back and give you a hard time face to face.

Edited by Tarte Gogo
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x100

 

Sounds like the OP is fine until he starts communicating his needs/expecations. That is when he gets blocked, indicating that what you are saying in that space is the dealbreaker.

 

OP, try to listen the collective wisdom so far: you may be exhausting the escort with a laundry list of rules and requirements, making you seem high maintenance and needy. Are you texting long, detailed prose with a romance novel of expectations? If so stop.

 

One, it's not working.

 

Two, it's not necessary. You can express that you're looking for intimacy and connection succintly. It doesn't take a whole lot of back-and-forth. And if you've done your due diliegence and are contactng a popular, well-reviewed escort, chances are he's a people person who knows what he's doing and doesn't have problems connecting and bonding with clients. You don't need to choreograph for him how to do his job; nobody likes being micromanaged.

 

And I'd suggest reflecting on feedback about adjusting expections. The post reminding clients that they are not the center of the escort's world -- that he has other legitimiate responsibilities and priorities -- was spot on. Your response -- that a pro should be able to make you feel like he is the center of the world when he's with you -- is true, but think about what you're saying. You want the escort to center you *before* he's with you. As has been pointed out, this is not fair, and even if it were, it's not really possible for a guy that's in-demand due to that thing called time.

 

Some clients seem to forget, or not care, that we too have to eat, sleep, grom, medicate, socialize, call mom, workout to keep that rockin body you expect, run errands, do household chores, work on life goals, AND be emotionally present available for our already-scheduled appointments. Expecting an escort to *also* commit emotionally to the demands and small talk of the army of complete strangers texting and emailing him daily is disrespectful, especially when experience has taught him that 90% of them are flakes, weirdos, and/or pic collectors.

 

I think most mature, well-adjusted adults can understand that. And a popular, seasoned escort is not going to, and doesn't have to, waste energy on those who can't.

 

This is so true.

 

What do you guys think the phone screen of the hottest escort look like? I think it looks like this:

CCE428_DC_21_EC_4948_BE72_501_D1_DF528_A6.jpg

So which client do you think he is going to choose? The one that takes 2 minutes to book because there is only one message, like mine, or the one that takes 20 minutes overall, because he keeps having to go back to “yet another text and still nothing confirmed”.

 

I think he is going to chose the client that makes it easy, unless he doesn’t have a choice, and you are his only option.

 

But if you like him, most likely, lots of other people also like him. He can choose who he wants.

 

The rates going up all the time for the hot ones proves that supply and demand are not in the clients’ favour.

Edited by Tarte Gogo
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This is so true.

 

What do you guys think the phone screen of the hottest escort look like? I think it looks like this:

CCE428_DC_21_EC_4948_BE72_501_D1_DF528_A6.jpg

So which client do you think he is going to choose? The one that takes 2 minutes to book because there is only one message, like mine, or the one that takes 20 minutes overall, because he keeps having to go back to “yet another text and still nothing confirmed”.

 

I think he is going to chose the client that makes it easy, unless he doesn’t have a choice, and you are his only option.

 

But if you like him, most likely, lots of other people also like him. He can choose who he wants.

 

The rates going up all the time for the hot ones proved that supply and demand are not in the clients’ favour.

So... what you’re telling me is that I should stop sleeping with my phone attached to my head with rubber bands waiting on that Justin_teen dude to tell me which of my three roleplay fantasies he finds most arousing...

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