Easy Cum Easy Go-Unfortunately Men Are Scum!!

[+ Gar1eth]

Yesterday I was on Scruff. This really cute British guy ‘woofed me’. Facially he looked like a young Matthew Perry. I thanked him for the ‘woof’. We started talking. He seemed really into me-wanted to provide me some oral attention. We arranged to meet today. At midnight I get a text thru Scruff that he has to pick up some special headphones from a mall in Seattle and has no time to meet even though he isn’t leaving until Friday.

 

After him a cute guy with a partner who lives nearer me Woofed me-we talked. He seemed interested in meeting me. He has a thing for older guys. We talk about meeting. I wake up today, and apparently either he or his boyfriend blocked me.

 

 

Then a cute guy-new to the area-with from pictures- an 8 or 9 inch tallywacker who is tired of topping and wants to bottom contacted me on Adam4Adam. I told him I most likely wasn’t looking for a boyfriend only a friends with benefits situation. Now he won’t respond to texts although I don’t think he has blocked me.

 

Finally, there is a guy on Bear411. He says he is new to it and finds it a bit overwhelming. I’m assuming it’s because he’s both new online and an attractive guy, so I’m betting a lot of guys are contacting him. The troubles are he lives 125 miles from me, and he says work is really busy for him right now.

 

He says he’s interested in meeting. I hate trying to arrange things with guys on Bear411. Since it’s a website and not an app, it doesn’t alert you to messages unless you are logged into it. I’ve missed messages for days from forgetting to log into it. I explain that to him, and give him one of my emails. I also tell him-which I’m sure y’all all know is that the longer ‘conversations’ go on -much like escorts often tell us with long correspondences from potential clients- with these apps an inertia sets in. And it’s less likely a meeting will ever occur. (Just a note of clarification here-I’ve been talking with this guy off and on for weeks. I didn’t spring the ideas of communicating by email on him at once, nor the idea of inertia. We’ve been ‘talking’ on and off since probably at least the 2nd week of December). I tell him I’m not trying to push him though if he’s uncomfortable. He replies ‘ok’. But I’m guessing he’s a lost cause-distance and his own insecurities with a meet-up app coming into play.

 

The sad thing is I really only appeal to guys who like bears. But I’m not really into my fellow bears (for the most part with an occasional exception) unless they are the skinnier otter types or what some might call ‘wolves’-the muscular bear types. And while there is an ‘over abundance’ of my type of bear. There is definitely a dearth of the kinds of guys I like spread over too many me-types.

 

I’d say gay men on apps are scum. But I think it’s just men on apps in general. Some years back I had a zaftig friend who was exploring the dating waters as she was about to divorce her husband. Her app/website of choice was Pool of Fish. I remember her getting ready to go on one-maybe two- different meet and greets and the guys never showing up. She also told me she met so many guys online who wanted sex-can you imagine?

 

I guess it’s the nature of the apps. I’ll bet women can be flaky too. It’s the anonymous nature of the apps that make it so easy to flake.

 

I also realize I’m not perfect-but I try not to play the games others do on the apps. The one main thing I have problems with is letting people down easy if I’m not attracted to them which seem to be the majority of guys who contact me. Since I’m rebuffed 99% of the time, I know how it feels

 

But in the case of these 4 guys-it wasn’t a situation of them needing to rebuff me as I wasn’t their type. All 4 of them indicated interest. That’s what is so frustrating when not so many do.

 

Considering the guys who are interested in me are ‘‘rara avis’es”, ie “rare birds”, I guess it’s good that my libido is so reduced these days. It’s been two or three weeks since I last.... (hope that is not too much TMI). I do feel the need to now. But I hate to just masturbate and ‘waste it’ considering how long it can take me to ‘build back up a head of steam’ these days when I’d really prefer to be with someone.

 

Gman

[jjkrkwood]

most of the time, guys are Bored and just want to kill some time, so they put out their feelers just to see who they can attract. they really arent interested in meeting, just maybe talking and beating off before bed...

 

I dont have time for games and bullshit. I am only on A4A and NEVER contact anyone. Should they contact me, first I see if I am attracted to them, them I let them know what I am into, short and sweet. I will never spend hours chatting. Bottom line in the ten years on A4A I only met 2 guys in person, Both disasters. Sex Club, here I cum......

[+ Gar1eth]

most of the time, guys are Bored and just want to kill some time, so they put out their feelers just to see who they can attract. they really arent interested in meeting, just maybe talking and beating off before bed...

 

I dont have time for games and bullshit. I am only on A4A and NEVER contact anyone. Should they contact me, first I see if I am attracted to them, them I let them know what I am into, short and sweet. I will never spend hours chatting. Bottom line in the ten years on A4A I only met 2 guys in person, Both disasters. Sex Club, here I cum......

 

 

I’m trying to think-on Adam4Adam I’ve met my least number of guys over the years maybe 5 or so. Since you basically want to suck large tallywackers, sex clubs are a good place to find guys you like. Since I like kissing, body contact, and topping -and I need a decent sized bed to do that stuff. Sex clubs are not really my cup of tea. (I’m assuming by sex club you mean a bath house). Plus my success rate at bath houses and totally anonymous sex is near zero. I’m glad they work for you though.

 

Gman

[jjkrkwood]

I’m trying to think-on Adam4Adam I’ve met my least number of guys over the years maybe 5 or so. Since you basically want to suck large tallywackers, sex clubs are a good place to find guys you like. Since I like kissing, body contact, and topping -and I need a decent sized bed to do that stuff. Sex clubs are not really my cup of tea. (I’m assuming by sex club you mean a bath house). Plus my success rate at bath houses and totally anonymous sex is near zero. I’m glad they work for you though.

 

Gman

 

No I dont mean a bath house. I mean a SEX CLUB, and while Yes I DO like sucking Big Cock, I also enjoy body contact, rimming and kissing, and find it ALL at the club, perhaps NOT all at the same time, but there NEVER has been an unsucksessful evening. I have become jaded... Maybe I'm just Lucky, but it surely aint because of my BEAUTY !

[+ OliverSaks]

Yesterday I was on Scruff. This really cute British guy ‘woofed me’. Facially he looked like a young Matthew Perry. I thanked him for the ‘woof’. We started talking. He seemed really into me-wanted to provide me some oral attention. We arranged to meet today. At midnight I get a text thru Scruff that he has to pick up some special headphones from a mall in Seattle and has no time to meet even though he isn’t leaving until Friday.

 

After him a cute guy with a partner who lives nearer me Woofed me-we talked. He seemed interested in meeting me. He has a thing for older guys. We talk about meeting. I wake up today, and apparently either he or his boyfriend blocked me.

 

 

Then a cute guy-new to the area-with from pictures- an 8 or 9 inch tallywacker who is tired of topping and wants to bottom contacted me on Adam4Adam. I told him I most likely wasn’t looking for a boyfriend only a friends with benefits situation. Now he won’t respond to texts although I don’t think he has blocked me.

 

Finally, there is a guy on Bear411. He says he is new to it and finds it a bit overwhelming. I’m assuming it’s because he’s both new online and an attractive guy, so I’m betting a lot of guys are contacting him. The troubles are he lives 125 miles from me, and he says work is really busy for him right now.

 

He says he’s interested in meeting. I hate trying to arrange things with guys on Bear411. Since it’s a website and not an app, it doesn’t alert you to messages unless you are logged into it. I’ve missed messages for days from forgetting to log into it. I explain that to him, and give him one of my emails. I also tell him-which I’m sure y’all all know is that the longer ‘conversations’ go on -much like escorts often tell us with long correspondences from potential clients- with these apps an inertia sets in. And it’s less likely a meeting will ever occur. (Just a note of clarification here-I’ve been talking with this guy off and on for weeks. I didn’t spring the ideas of communicating by email on him at once, nor the idea of inertia. We’ve been ‘talking’ on and off since probably at least the 2nd week of December). I tell him I’m not trying to push him though if he’s uncomfortable. He replies ‘ok’. But I’m guessing he’s a lost cause-distance and his own insecurities with a meet-up app coming into play.

 

The sad thing is I really only appeal to guys who like bears. But I’m not really into my fellow bears (for the most part with an occasional exception) unless they are the skinnier otter types or what some might call ‘wolves’-the muscular bear types. And while there is an ‘over abundance’ of my type of bear. There is definitely a dearth of the kinds of guys I like spread over too many me-types.

 

I’d say gay men on apps are scum. But I think it’s just men on apps in general. Some years back I had a zaftig friend who was exploring the dating waters as she was about to divorce her husband. Her app/website of choice was Pool of Fish. I remember her getting ready to go on one-maybe two- different meet and greets and the guys never showing up. She also told me she met so many guys online who wanted sex-can you imagine?

 

I guess it’s the nature of the apps. I’ll bet women can be flaky too. It’s them anonymous nature of the apps that make it so easy to flake.

 

I also realize I’m not perfect-but I try not to play the games others do on the apps. The one main thing I have problems with is letting people down easy if I’m not attracted to them which seem to be the majority of guys who contact me. Since I’m rebuffed 99% of the time, I know how it feels

 

But in the case of these 4 guys-it wasn’t a situation of them needing to rebuff me as I wasn’t their type. All 4 of them indicated interest. That’s what is so frustrating when not so many do.

 

Considering the guys who are interested in me are ‘‘rara avis’es”, ie “rare birds”, I guess it’s good that my libido is so reduced these days. It’s been two or three weeks since I last.... (hope that is not too much TMI). I do feel the need to now. But I hate to just masturbate and ‘waste it’ considering how long it can take me to ‘build back up a head of steam’ these days when I’d really prefer to be with someone.

 

Gman

Guys who like bears are out there!

Apps challenge my patience at times, but I’ve made some great friends / partners on them.

[LaffingBear]

Wow!

 

I could write a book in response to this post.

 

I too attract the bears. And, while I occassionally find a bear attractive, I am not universally attracted to bears. We're all wired differently... I cant relate to being atteacted by hair, regardless of other attributes. Some hairy guys are hot, some hairy guys are not. And, after years in bear scene, attending bear events, and firmly fixing my ass on a seat in a well-known bear bar..... the only thing in life I find sillier than woofing is men who say/type "Grrrr."

 

I was directed towards the bear bar 25 years ago when I arrived in SF. And, I'm convinced that some -not all or most, but some- bears hookup with bears because they dont believe they have choices. I also believe that repeated exposure and familiarity work on our brains to enhance attraction.

 

I too used to opine that gay men were scum, or pigs. But its really men in general, driven by their crotch. When both parties think with the organ not in their skull... then logic and proportion fall sloppy dead.

 

The apps exacerbate the worst of crotch-logic. People online behave without civility. Add that you're never quite certain that any online interaction isn't really with a 43 yo loser/gamer living in his mom's basement, or two pimply 14 year olds messing around before dinner.

 

It took repeated disappointment for me to realize that I hung out at a bear bar because it was my potential audience, yet not my desired target. I've installed Grindr, Growlr, Scruff, and BiggerCity, and uninstalled them... at least four cycles. I used to be on Bear411. But its backwards logic.... driven by a need to connect, perhaps enhanced opportunity for acceptance, even thought its acceptance from those whose acceptance one wouldnt seek, given a choice.

 

I frequently remember a guy I met years ago sharing that his grandmother said "anyone can get married, if they'll marry anyone."

 

Haven't been to a bear bar in about 15 years. No hookup apps on my phone at present. But strong motivations are at work.... and I can't guarantee Scruff wont get installed a fifth time.

[+ Gar1eth]

No I dont mean a bath house. I mean a SEX CLUB, and while Yes I DO like sucking Big Cock, I also enjoy body contact, rimming and kissing, and find it ALL at the club, perhaps NOT all at the same time, but there NEVER has been an unsucksessful evening. I have become jaded... Maybe I'm just Lucky, but it surely aint because of my BEAUTY !

 

Thank you for clarifying. I appreciate it. I’m not really aware of any sex clubs in Seattle. There is something called Rain City Jacks which is I believe a group (self)masturbation club. I might be wrong about the self part. I’m not really comfortable with the idea of a sex club-I’m not that fond of bath houses either. But not knowing how sex clubs operate-I’m wondering if I’d have the same dismal luck there that I used to have when I occasionally went to a bath house. However, @jjkrkwood, I’m glad you have them as an outlet and are successful there.

 

 

 

Wow!

 

I could write a book in response to this post.

 

I too attract the bears. And, while I occassionally find a bear attractive, I am not universally attracted to bears. We're all wired differently... I cant relate to being atteacted by hair, regardless of other attributes. Some hairy guys are hot, some hairy guys are not. And, after years in bear scene, attending bear events, and firmly fixing my ass on a seat in a well-known bear bar..... the only thing in life I find sillier than woofing is men who say/type "Grrrr."

 

I was directed towards the bear bar 25 years ago when I arrived in SF. And, I'm convinced that some -not all or most, but some- bears hookup with bears because they dont believe they have choices. I also believe that repeated exposure and familiarity work on our brains to enhance attraction.

 

I too used to opine that gay men were scum, or pigs. But its really men in general, driven by their crotch. When both parties think with the organ not in their skull... then logic and proportion fall sloppy dead.

 

The apps exacerbate the worst of crotch-logic. People online behave without civility. Add that you're never quite certain that any online interaction isn't really with a 43 yo loser/gamer living in his mom's basement, or two pimply 14 year olds messing around before dinner.

 

It took repeated disappointment for me to realize that I hung out at a bear bar because it was my potential audience, yet not my desired target. I've installed Grindr, Growlr, Scruff, and BiggerCity, and uninstalled them... at least four cycles. I used to be on Bear411. But its backwards logic.... driven by a need to connect, perhaps enhanced opportunity for acceptance, even thought its acceptance from those whose acceptance one wouldnt seek, given a choice.

 

I frequently remember a guy I met years ago sharing that his grandmother said "anyone can get married, if they'll marry anyone."

 

Haven't been to a bear bar in about 15 years. No hookup apps on my phone at present. But strong motivations are at work.... and I can't guarantee Scruff wont get installed a fifth time.

 

 

I’ve said an occasional Grrr to someone. And I’ve sent Grrrs as some of the apps have that option available. But I’m not really into ‘bear’ culture in the same way I’m not into the type of gay culture where you call people -both males and females-as girlfriend’ or refer to people as ‘bitches’.

 

In the past I routinely deleted hook-up apps when they became too frustrating. But that was in a past when I could afford to hire. Now that I can’t afford to hire if the apps didn’t occasionally bear fruit-or even better than fruit-a guy who likes me chub and all and to whom I’m attracted also-then I’d never have sex at all. The apps are the only game in town unfortunately even if my success rate on them hovers near the zero end.

 

Gman

Edited January 18, 2018 by Gar1eth

[jjkrkwood]

Thank you for clarifying. I appreciate it. I’m not really aware of any sex clubs in Seattle. There is something called Rain City Jacks which is I believe a group (self)masturbation club. I might be wrong about the self part. I’m not really comfortable with the idea of a sex club-I’m not that fond of bath houses either. But not knowing how sex clubs operate-I’m wondering if I’d have the same dismal luck there that I used to have when I occasionally went to a bath house. However, @jjkrkwood, I’m glad you have them as an outlet and are successful there.

 

I’ve said an occasional Grrr to someone. And I’ve sent Grrrs as some of the apps have that option available. But I’m not really into ‘bear’ culture in the same way I’m not into the type of gay culture where you call people -both males and females-as girlfriend’ or refer to people as ‘bitches’.

 

In the past I routinely deleted hook-up apps when they became too frustrating. But that was in a past when I could afford to hire. Now that I can’t afford to hire if the apps didn’t occasionally bear fruit-or even better than fruit-a guy who likes me chub and all and to whom I’m attracted also-then I’d never have sex at all. The apps are the only game in town unfortunately even if my success rate on them hovers near the zero end.

 

Gman

 

 

Just keep "playin the game" You just never know when Lady Luck will make you a "winner" ? (and send out some "dick pics".... show em what you're working with)

[jjkrkwood]

Thank you for clarifying. I appreciate it. I’m not really aware of any sex clubs in Seattle. There is something called Rain City Jacks which is I believe a group (self)masturbation club. I might be wrong about the self part. I’m not really comfortable with the idea of a sex club-I’m not that fond of bath houses either. But not knowing how sex clubs operate-I’m wondering if I’d have the same dismal luck there that I used to have when I occasionally went to a bath house. However, @jjkrkwood, I’m glad you have them as an outlet and are successful there.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve said an occasional Grrr to someone. And I’ve sent Grrrs as some of the apps have that option available. But I’m not really into ‘bear’ culture in the same way I’m not into the type of gay culture where you call people -both males and females-as girlfriend’ or refer to people as ‘bitches’.

 

In the past I routinely deleted hook-up apps when they became too frustrating. But that was in a past when I could afford to hire. Now that I can’t afford to hire if the apps didn’t occasionally bear fruit-or even better than fruit-a guy who likes me chub and all and to whom I’m attracted also-then I’d never have sex at all. The apps are the only game in town unfortunately even if my success rate on them hovers near the zero end.

 

Gman

 

 

Looking for some FRUIT ???

 

http://78.media.tumblr.com/87433398d04e57883469b11488a90ce6/tumblr_p2pda2LeG21qhctbpo1_500.jpg

[+ Gar1eth]

Looking for some FRUIT ???

 

http://78.media.tumblr.com/87433398d04e57883469b11488a90ce6/tumblr_p2pda2LeG21qhctbpo1_500.jpg

 

I’d like to squeeze those two melons. But I’ll never get a guy like that. Don’t get me wrong. I know I’m not special. I know a lot of us will never get a guy like that. I’m just frustrated. Maybe I wouldn’t think about sex so much if I had a non-sexual friend or two. But unfortunately I’m as sh-t at having them as I am at having sex regularly-or even worse. While it’s been a month or two since I’ve topped someone, it’s been years since I’ve had good friends I could count on.

 

Gman

[MikeBiDude]

I’d like to squeeze those two melons. But I’ll never get a guy like that. Don’t get me wrong. I know I’m not special. I know a lot of us will never get a guy like that. I’m just frustrated. Maybe I wouldn’t think about sex so much if I had a non-sexual friend or two. But unfortunately I’m as sh-t at having them as I am at having sex regularly-or even worse. While it’s been a month or two since I’ve topped someone, it’s been years since I’ve had good friends I could count on.

 

Gman

Gman have you tried the SilverDaddies.com website? I haven’t used it for a while but did meet a couple super nice young men there. Sites like that made me realize that there are younger hot guys who are truly attracted to older, bearish, etc. mind you there’s a low rate of success...but I’ve found friends and fun.

[jjkrkwood]

Actually, I have found that sex usually fucks things up and complicates stuff, so I would concentrate on just making a few good FRIENDS..... and let the sex stuff happen organically if it does. And if it doesnt, dont shake a finger at Friendship ! It actually can be more fulfilling.....

[+ Gar1eth]

Actually, I have found that sex usually fucks things up and complicates stuff, so I would concentrate on just making a few good FRIENDS..... and let the sex stuff happen organically if it does. And if it doesnt, dont shake a finger at Friendship ! It actually can be more fulfilling.....

 

That what I was trying to say about friends. But I don’t really have the opportunity to make any unless it’s thru the apps. It’s just the way my situation is.

 

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

Gman have you tried the SilverDaddies.com website? I haven’t used it for a while but did meet a couple super nice young men there. Sites like that made me realize that there are younger hot guys who are truly attracted to older, bearish, etc. mind you there’s a low rate of success...but I’ve found friends and fun.

 

Thanks for the suggestion. I tried it for a while years ago. Most of the guys who liked me, and there weren’t that many to begin with, were some combo of either other bearish guys like me, really really young, really really twinky dudes, or lived hundreds of miles away.

 

Gman

[Bearofdistinction]

Yesterday I was on Scruff. This really cute British guy ‘woofed me’. Facially he looked like a young Matthew Perry. I thanked him for the ‘woof’. We started talking. He seemed really into me-wanted to provide me some oral attention. We arranged to meet today. At midnight I get a text thru Scruff that he has to pick up some special headphones from a mall in Seattle and has no time to meet even though he isn’t leaving until Friday.

 

After him a cute guy with a partner who lives nearer me Woofed me-we talked. He seemed interested in meeting me. He has a thing for older guys. We talk about meeting. I wake up today, and apparently either he or his boyfriend blocked me.

 

 

Then a cute guy-new to the area-with from pictures- an 8 or 9 inch tallywacker who is tired of topping and wants to bottom contacted me on Adam4Adam. I told him I most likely wasn’t looking for a boyfriend only a friends with benefits situation. Now he won’t respond to texts although I don’t think he has blocked me.

 

Finally, there is a guy on Bear411. He says he is new to it and finds it a bit overwhelming. I’m assuming it’s because he’s both new online and an attractive guy, so I’m betting a lot of guys are contacting him. The troubles are he lives 125 miles from me, and he says work is really busy for him right now.

 

He says he’s interested in meeting. I hate trying to arrange things with guys on Bear411. Since it’s a website and not an app, it doesn’t alert you to messages unless you are logged into it. I’ve missed messages for days from forgetting to log into it. I explain that to him, and give him one of my emails. I also tell him-which I’m sure y’all all know is that the longer ‘conversations’ go on -much like escorts often tell us with long correspondences from potential clients- with these apps an inertia sets in. And it’s less likely a meeting will ever occur. (Just a note of clarification here-I’ve been talking with this guy off and on for weeks. I didn’t spring the ideas of communicating by email on him at once, nor the idea of inertia. We’ve been ‘talking’ on and off since probably at least the 2nd week of December). I tell him I’m not trying to push him though if he’s uncomfortable. He replies ‘ok’. But I’m guessing he’s a lost cause-distance and his own insecurities with a meet-up app coming into play.

 

The sad thing is I really only appeal to guys who like bears. But I’m not really into my fellow bears (for the most part with an occasional exception) unless they are the skinnier otter types or what some might call ‘wolves’-the muscular bear types. And while there is an ‘over abundance’ of my type of bear. There is definitely a dearth of the kinds of guys I like spread over too many me-types.

 

I’d say gay men on apps are scum. But I think it’s just men on apps in general. Some years back I had a zaftig friend who was exploring the dating waters as she was about to divorce her husband. Her app/website of choice was Pool of Fish. I remember her getting ready to go on one-maybe two- different meet and greets and the guys never showing up. She also told me she met so many guys online who wanted sex-can you imagine?

 

I guess it’s the nature of the apps. I’ll bet women can be flaky too. It’s the anonymous nature of the apps that make it so easy to flake.

 

I also realize I’m not perfect-but I try not to play the games others do on the apps. The one main thing I have problems with is letting people down easy if I’m not attracted to them which seem to be the majority of guys who contact me. Since I’m rebuffed 99% of the time, I know how it feels

 

But in the case of these 4 guys-it wasn’t a situation of them needing to rebuff me as I wasn’t their type. All 4 of them indicated interest. That’s what is so frustrating when not so many do.

 

Considering the guys who are interested in me are ‘‘rara avis’es”, ie “rare birds”, I guess it’s good that my libido is so reduced these days. It’s been two or three weeks since I last.... (hope that is not too much TMI). I do feel the need to now. But I hate to just masturbate and ‘waste it’ considering how long it can take me to ‘build back up a head of steam’ these days when I’d really prefer to be with someone.

 

Gman

 

Boo after all of that IT is time to Crochet a new FWB and let the apps go --- or join

a local sewing circle and bring the lube!

[+ Gar1eth]

Boo after all of that IT is time to Crochet a new FWB and let the apps go --- or join

a local sewing circle and bring the lube!

If I could, I would. I mean that’s what I really want-a nice friend with benefits. But it’s difficult enough even with Viagra and the like for “Junior” to perk up anymore with guys I like, much less guys I’m not attracted to. So any FWB is going to need to be someone I’m attracted to not just any guy off the street. But it’s mostly a pipe dream anyway. I’ve been on the apps for 6 years and haven’t been able to find someone like that.

 

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

Well I could have had sex -or at least partial sex twice last night, but I turned it down.

 

The first opportunity was from an on and off f-ckbuddy I’ve known for about 6 years-Dexter. I may have talked about this guy some before. He’s about 40, 6 feet tall, athletically muscular and handsome. There are multiple problems with him. When we 1st met, he said he was interested in a boyfriend. Well that didn’t last long. Now he is very experienced. He had a prior boyfriend for years when I’ve never had any. He’s also one of those handsome well-groomed types. I’m not exactly a slob-ok I am-but this guy is more of an athletic GQ type-so it’s not like we are perfect match. He has probably an 8 inch talkywacker beautiful tallywacker-but at least with Daddy types he wants to bottom. But in the 6 years I’ve only slept over at his place twice. He’s never introduced me to anyone else he knows. We’ve never gone out in public together. Recently someone who knows of him-said the saying he wanted to be boyfriends and then backtracking is his modus operandi.

 

Probably one of Dexter’s main problems is he is too handsome. He acts very entitled. His profile on one of the apps reeks of hubris. But he’s handsome. So he can get away with it.

 

We hadn’t talked (texted) much on the apps for the past 6 months. But over the last two months-I don’t know what’s going on but he’s asked me to come over at least three times. He actually texted at 1 AM and said “let’s cuddle.” He’s almost never said that. I’m wondering if my refusals are making him want me more. But if we are going by past experiences, he really just wants to be topped. Then he wants me out the door.

 

Well so why didn’t I go over to this guy’s house. #1. If we aren’t starting until 1:30 AM and we play around for at least an hour and a half-I’d probably want to spend the night. Going from past experiences, once he’s cum-it would pretty much be-“Don’t let the Door his you on the way out”. The other thing is he only wants me bare. He tells me he’s on PrEP. And I mostly believe him. I’m on PrEP too. But the problem is I have another f-buddy-Ralph. I don’t get to see him much. But as far as I know, I’m the only one topping Ralph. And we started out protected. But he wanted to go bare. We came to an agreement that if I went bare with him, he was the only one I’d go bare with. The last time I topped him was probably September because we have nowhere to really meet. We’ve played around with oral. But because of the agreement with Ralph, I can’t see Dexter because he’ll only want me bare.

 

2nd chance Saturday night/Sunday morning-a guy contacted me on Grindr and wanted to blow me off. But he just wanted an anonymous blow’n’ go. I prefer to know someone better. I also prefer the session to involve kissing. This guy wasn’t interested in that, so I turned him down.

 

So I guess I shouldn’t complain I never get any offers. I do occasionally. But they are darn few. Due to circumstances, I couldn’t accept either of them.

 

Gman

[jjkrkwood]

Well I could have had sex -or at least partial sex twice last night, but I turned it down.

 

The first opportunity was from an on and off f-ckbuddy I’ve known for about 6 years-Dexter. I may have talked about this guy some before. He’s about 40, 6 feet tall, athletically muscular and handsome. There are multiple problems with him. When we 1st met, he said he was interested in a boyfriend. Well that didn’t last long. Now he is very experienced. He had a prior boyfriend for years when I’ve never had any. He’s also one of those handsome well-groomed types. I’m not exactly a slob-ok I am-but this guy is more of an athletic GQ type-so it’s not like we are perfect match. He has probably an 8 inch talkywacker beautiful tallywacker-but at least with Daddy types he wants to bottom. But in the 6 years I’ve only slept over at his place twice. He’s never introduced me to anyone else he knows. We’ve never gone out in public together. Recently someone who knows of him-said the saying he wanted to be boyfriends and then backtracking is his modus operandi.

 

Probably one of Dexter’s main problems is he is too handsome. He acts very entitled. His profile on one of the apps reeks of hubris. But he’s handsome. So he can get away with it.

 

We hadn’t talked (texted) much on the apps for the past 6 months. But over the last two months-I don’t know what’s going on but he’s asked me to come over at least three times. He actually texted at 1 AM and said “let’s cuddle.” He’s almost never said that. I’m wondering if my refusals are making him want me more. But if we are going by past experiences, he really just wants to be topped. Then he wants me out the door.

 

Well so why didn’t I go over to this guy’s house. #1. If we aren’t starting until 1:30 AM and we play around for at least an hour and a half-I’d probably want to spend the night. Going from past experiences, once he’s cum-it would pretty much be-“Don’t let the Door his you on the way out”. The other thing is he only wants me bare. He tells me he’s on PrEP. And I mostly believe him. I’m on PrEP too. But the problem is I have another f-buddy-Ralph. I don’t get to see him much. But as far as I know, I’m the only one topping Ralph. And we started out protected. But he wanted to go bare. We came to an agreement that if I went bare with him, he was the only one I’d go bare with. The last time I topped him was probably September because we have nowhere to really meet. We’ve played around with oral. But because of the agreement with Ralph, I can’t see Dexter because he’ll only want me bare.

 

2nd chance Saturday night/Sunday morning-a guy contacted me on Grindr and wanted to blow me off. But he just wanted an anonymous blow’n’ go. I prefer to know someone better. I also prefer the session to involve kissing. This guy wasn’t interested in that, so I turned him down.

 

So I guess I shouldn’t complain I never get any offers. I do occasionally. But they are darn few. Due to circumstances, I couldn’t accept either of them.

 

Gman

 

 

Gar, seems like to spend an awful lot of time concentrating on and thinking about Sex. Maybe take a break? You know, EVERY opportuntity that arises will come with "conditions", and perhaps to have some success, you need to "RE-Evaluate YOURS ? I mean, why sabotage every opportunity you get with some "do's and dont's" nonsense you've created in your head. If you really are as horny, and desperate for affection as you say,

bend your own rules (while still remaining SAFE) and let yourself go. ?

[+ Pensant]

Thanks for the suggestion. I tried it for a while years ago. Most of the guys who liked me, and there weren’t that many to begin with, were some combo of either other bearish guys like me, really really young, really really twinky dudes, or lived hundreds of miles away.

 

Gman

Hmm, were the twinks cute? Nothing wrong with adding some thinks to the menu!

[+ Pensant]

I’ve never tried the apps. Something to consider, perhaps.

[+ Gar1eth]

Gar, seems like to spend an awful lot of time concentrating on and thinking about Sex. Maybe take a break? You know, EVERY opportuntity that arises will come with "conditions", and perhaps to have some success, you need to "RE-Evaluate YOURS ? I mean, why sabotage every opportunity you get with some "do's and dont's" nonsense you've created in your head. If you really are as horny, and desperate for affection as you say,

bend your own rules (while still remaining SAFE) and let yourself go. ?

 

 

I spent 41 years not having sex. I missed it all thru my teen-age and young adulthood when it might have been easier to find partners. (Of course that also might have saved my life from HIV). Now it’s like pulling hens teeth to find someone interested. But if I don’t get what I want/need, it might as well be mastubation and masturbation doesn’t satisfy me.

 

I’ve made a promise to a friend that I would only go bare with him. I’m not going to go behind his back and breed someone. I’m not perfect, as you all know here, but I try to be a man of my word.

 

And while I like having sex with Dexter, he’s proven to me over the years that all he really wants is my cock and doesn’t value me at all. He’s condescending and overly entitled.

 

 

As for the the unknown guy-I’m not asking for love. I like to kiss. It hasn’t nothing to do with affection-or at least it doesn’t with strangers. It’s part of the sex act for me. Maybe it’s not for you. Let’s say equivalently @jjkrkwood someone only wanted you to top them. That’s not your style. You’d probably refuse to see them. I usually refuse guys who don’t like to kiss. It’s as simple as that. Unfortunately there aren’t that many guys who like chubs. But I’m not going to have unsatisfactory sex just because someone says they are interested.

 

Gman

[jjkrkwood]

I spent 41 years not having sex. I missed it all thru my teen-age and young adulthood when it might have been easier to find partners. (Of course that also might have saved my life from HIV). Now it’s like pulling hens teeth to find someone interested. But if I don’t get what I want/need, it might as well be mastubation and masturbation doesn’t satisfy me.

 

I’ve made a promise to a friend that I would only go bare with him. I’m not going to go behind his back and breed someone. I’m not perfect, as you all know here, but I try to be a man of my word.

 

And while I like having sex with Dexter, he’s proven to me over the years that all he really wants is my cock and doesn’t value me at all. He’s condescending and overly entitled.

 

 

As for the the unknown guy-I’m not asking for love. I like to kiss. It hasn’t nothing to do with affection-or at least it doesn’t with strangers. It’s part of the sex act for me. Maybe it’s not for you. Let’s say equivalently @jjkrkwood someone only wanted you to top them. That’s not your style. You’d probably refuse to see them. I usually refuse guys who don’t like to kiss. It’s as simple as that. Unfortunately there aren’t that many guys who like chubs. But I’m not going to have unsatisfactory sex just because someone says they are interested.

 

Gman

 

 

Well it seems "you are making your own bed", so to that end, "you have to lie in it ".... I dont get the part about making a commitment for bareback to a guy thats NOT your partner, but I have learned there is alot about you I dont understand. It's just YOU and who you are. But it just seems unproductive and futile to come on here and whine about situations you had a major hand in creating. I would love to be the supportive one, and tried to be with you, but you just shoot down EVERY suggestion that anyone makes to you with excuses you have made to circumvent the situation. HOW DO YOU HELP A PERSON LIKE THAT ?

[Bearofdistinction]

Well I could have had sex -or at least partial sex twice last night, but I turned it down.

 

The first opportunity was from an on and off f-ckbuddy I’ve known for about 6 years-Dexter. I may have talked about this guy some before. He’s about 40, 6 feet tall, athletically muscular and handsome. There are multiple problems with him. When we 1st met, he said he was interested in a boyfriend. Well that didn’t last long. Now he is very experienced. He had a prior boyfriend for years when I’ve never had any. He’s also one of those handsome well-groomed types. I’m not exactly a slob-ok I am-but this guy is more of an athletic GQ type-so it’s not like we are perfect match. He has probably an 8 inch talkywacker beautiful tallywacker-but at least with Daddy types he wants to bottom. But in the 6 years I’ve only slept over at his place twice. He’s never introduced me to anyone else he knows. We’ve never gone out in public together. Recently someone who knows of him-said the saying he wanted to be boyfriends and then backtracking is his modus operandi.

 

Probably one of Dexter’s main problems is he is too handsome. He acts very entitled. His profile on one of the apps reeks of hubris. But he’s handsome. So he can get away with it.

 

We hadn’t talked (texted) much on the apps for the past 6 months. But over the last two months-I don’t know what’s going on but he’s asked me to come over at least three times. He actually texted at 1 AM and said “let’s cuddle.” He’s almost never said that. I’m wondering if my refusals are making him want me more. But if we are going by past experiences, he really just wants to be topped. Then he wants me out the door.

 

Well so why didn’t I go over to this guy’s house. #1. If we aren’t starting until 1:30 AM and we play around for at least an hour and a half-I’d probably want to spend the night. Going from past experiences, once he’s cum-it would pretty much be-“Don’t let the Door his you on the way out”. The other thing is he only wants me bare. He tells me he’s on PrEP. And I mostly believe him. I’m on PrEP too. But the problem is I have another f-buddy-Ralph. I don’t get to see him much. But as far as I know, I’m the only one topping Ralph. And we started out protected. But he wanted to go bare. We came to an agreement that if I went bare with him, he was the only one I’d go bare with. The last time I topped him was probably September because we have nowhere to really meet. We’ve played around with oral. But because of the agreement with Ralph, I can’t see Dexter because he’ll only want me bare.

 

2nd chance Saturday night/Sunday morning-a guy contacted me on Grindr and wanted to blow me off. But he just wanted an anonymous blow’n’ go. I prefer to know someone better. I also prefer the session to involve kissing. This guy wasn’t interested in that, so I turned him down.

 

So I guess I shouldn’t complain I never get any offers. I do occasionally. But they are darn few. Due to circumstances, I couldn’t accept either of them.

 

Gman

WOWInteresting

 

#1 Men are Liars -we think with our dickheads -- So Unless he is living with you and see him swallow his prep pills every day ------ Then DO NOT BE SILLY BAG HIS WILLY!!!

 

So is DEXTER Married or a US Congressman???? -- otherwise he or you should be able to host OR rent a room at the DooDropInn. $27 dollars and a free yogurt snd cookie for breakfast

 

If not Why the hell not?

 

Meet at the Baths/Bookstore/Gym/Parking Garage>>>>>>?????

 

So Now Ralph we can only see -- So Often -- Like at the Soltices?? And why is that?? Is Ralph Married? Again --- a US Congressman? Governor of Idaho? National Teamster Rep? CAN I BUY A VOWEL?? Cause as an OUT GAY MAN -- with a home and vacation home --- I cannot imagine a situation where I cannot host or be hosted by a caller>>>

 

And IF you are not OUT --- WHY NOT? Married? Tell Harriet You Like Cock more than CLIT --- Still Love you honey -- But we have not had sex since NIXON was in the White House ---- Lets BOTH Go Have Fun and Stay Together cause we do LOVE each other

[+ Gar1eth]

WOWInteresting

 

#1 Men are Liars -we think with our dickheads -- So Unless he is living with you and see him swallow his prep pills every day ------ Then DO NOT BE SILLY BAG HIS WILLY!!!

 

So is DEXTER Married or a US Congressman???? -- otherwise he or you should be able to host OR rent a room at the DooDropInn. $27 dollars and a free yogurt snd cookie for breakfast

 

If not Why the hell not?

 

Meet at the Baths/Bookstore/Gym/Parking Garage>>>>>>?????

 

So Now Ralph we can only see -- So Often -- Like at the Soltices?? And why is that?? Is Ralph Married? Again --- a US Congressman? Governor of Idaho? National Teamster Rep? CAN I BUY A VOWEL?? Cause as an OUT GAY MAN -- with a home and vacation home --- I cannot imagine a situation where I cannot host or be hosted by a caller>>>

 

And IF you are not OUT --- WHY NOT? Married? Tell Harriet You Like Cock more than CLIT --- Still Love you honey -- But we have not had sex since NIXON was in the White House ---- Lets BOTH Go Have Fun and Stay Together cause we do LOVE each other

 

 

Even if Dexter is not on PrEP, it doesn’t matter for now because I am-but my insurance changes at the end of October and I probably won’t be able to afford it with the new insurance. Plus my doctors want to prescribe immunosuppressants for my myasthenia. I’m not sure how I’ll feel about going bare when I’ll be immune suppressed.

 

Dexter has an nice house he bought a year and a half ago. He had no problems hosting. But he doesn’t want -I’m assuming it’s not just me but it could be -the neighbors to know he’s gay. So I’m not supposed to make noise when I arrive or leave. Even before the house Dexter had his own apartment.

 

As for Ralph-he can’t host because he has a partner. I can’t host because of my living situation. And while I’m not completely closeted, I’m not 100% open-but no wife or kids hold me back.

 

I’ll admit that being with a partnered guy disturbed me. He told me that they didn’t really have much sex. And he said they were open, and he was sure his partner had partners. He said they don’t discuss their sexual partners. But how am I to know if that was true? If he hadn’t seemed like such a nice guy, seemed to really like me so much, and my other opportunities being close to zilch, I would have said no. On top of that he lives close to 40 miles away, so we don’t see each other a lot.

 

Ralph and I have been seeing each other around 10 months now. I’ve never met his hubby or seen a picture. It was still a worry if he truly was in an open relationship or not. But about a month ago I was reading a profile on the MisterX app. The guy was an older guy around my age. From certain tell-tale signs in the profile, I knew immediately that this was Ralph’s partner. And that he was looking for playmates. That made me feel a lot better about the situation.

 

Gman

Edited January 22, 2018 by Gar1eth

[+ WmClarke]

But if I don’t get what I want/need, it might as well be mastubation and masturbation doesn’t satisfy me.

I disagree completely. An emotionless hookup with another guy is better than masturbation.