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Does Trust in Clients Grow?


LaffingBear
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The https://www.m4m-forum.org/threads/how-to-have-clients-whod-like-to-travel.132613/#post-1443715 thread, and my reply, got me to thinking.

 

Escorts... does your trust and openness with clients grow over time?

 

I totally understand and support discretion. And the possible need to distinguish between rentguy and personal life... personal being off-limits while working.

 

I generally dont wonder about the personal life of a guy hired. I'd probably counsel a rentguy to be somewhat guarded with new clients, or after only a few brief appointments. But after months or years of appointments, or several extended meetings, does a escort feel safer in opening up?

 

Do you share more personal information over time? Particularly with repeat, extended-session clients? Travel clients?

 

My only perspective is that of a client... Ive always enjoyed the social and conversational times when hiring... I'd hate to think that my dinner companion always has a protective wall up, even after multiple sessions. Years ago, I was on a third extended visit with a guy. He was showering, and as I walked through the hotel room, I noticed his money clip with driver's license sitting on the dresser. I didnt stop and look closely and, frankly, was flattered he wasnt so concerned that he hid the items in his luggage, etc.

 

There are practical matters as well, particularly if traveling.

 

And so I wonder if escorts' privacy wall gets lowered in response to time spent with clients.

I wonder what conclusions will be drawn by 22nd Century anthropologists and social scientists who study early 21st Century social media.

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For me yes, there's been a few guys that I have been candid with about my personal life and now know personal stuff about me and vice versa. Although yes sexy time does happen theres often an emotional connection that developes over time. And with that comes trust. It's going to happen for those of us that have been in this game long enough. And I am a ok with that. Having that trust connection with a guy I feel makes our time more special and intimate and that I think makes the sexy time even better for both of us. For any relationship to grow and be genuine you got to have trust.

 

Hugs,

Greg

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For me yes, there's been a few guys that I have been candid with about my personal life and now know personal stuff about me and vice versa. Although yes sexy time does happen theres often an emotional connection that developes over time. And with that comes trust. It's going to happen for those of us that have been in this game long enough. And I am a ok with that. Having that trust connection with a guy I feel makes our time more special and intimate and that I think makes the sexy time even better for both of us. For any relationship to grow and be genuine you got to have trust.

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

AND MONEY !!!

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On an emotional level, trust and comfort definitely does grow with regulars. I relax into something that more closely resembles my true personality with my regulars, something that I might be more hesitant to slip into on a first encounter. It depends on the chemistry of course how fast that happens.

 

As a FTM who previously escorted "as a woman", I was also in the pretty intense and unique circumstance of performing as a gender that I did not identify with for clients until very recently. This probably added to my need to have more of a shield up with clients initially as I performed femininity to what I assumed would be acceptable standards. Surprisingly for me, most of my regular clients continued to see me after I announced my transition. I guess my real personality is more masculine/androgynous and my regulars understood that from interacting with me in a more open and realistic way. So it probably shouldnt have surprised me that so many of them were OK with me being FTM. But it still did. I'm very lucky tho for that. :D

 

I may have the baby face of an innocent teen, but I've been in the industry for long enough to hear a LOT of stories from fellow workers. And to have had some interesting experiences myself. And unfortunately, sometimes regulars seriously SCREW us over. Even regulars who we genuinely liked and trusted. And particularly when boundaries get loosened. I've heard of it happening or had it happen to me enough times that even with regular clients certain boundaries are retained. Emotional, yes, but especially procedural. I've had long-standing regulars get irritated that I'm so particular about my payment policies and protecting my legal identity, even after we have known each other for so long. Sadly, I've just heard too many horror stories of good clients gone bad.

 

Clients behave weirdly in this industry sometimes, but it hurts a lot more when ANYONE who you've already built trust with violates your boundaries. So there are just certain boundaries that I don't take any chances with, and I hope my regulars can avoid taking those boundaries personally. I am never gonna leave my ID with my legal name sitting casually out on the table because I don't care if a client sees it. It's more about me than about not trusting this particular regular.

 

So TLDR: yes trust in clients does grow on an emotional level, but procedural and privacy boundaries are generally maintained to avoid the possibility of future betrayal and heartbreak. It may be rare coming from a regular but sadly it does happen so don't take it personally because it's just a form of self-protection in an industry where the level of respect that our clients have for us varies... widely. ;)

Edited by FTM Zachary Prince

Bliss consultant, prince of perverted pleasures, prostate wizard, webcam performer, indy XXX content creator & adult industry marketing coach

 

FTM Zachary Prince ( SFBOYPUSSY on Rentmen )

 

My Website | My Twitter | My Switter | My RentMen | My Manyvids | My TER Reviews | My PrivateDelights Reviews | My P411

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It doesn't seem like trust can be forced. If it's going to develop, it does so organically with time and exposure. And sometimes it doesnt.

I was part of a corporate retreat once, where two competing factions -- people who loathed each other -- tried to work out their differences. There was a trained facilitator. He announced "you can't build trust by working on trust."

 

I usually roll my eyes at such pithy pronouncements. But that one made sense, and I believe it to be accurate, decades later.

I wonder what conclusions will be drawn by 22nd Century anthropologists and social scientists who study early 21st Century social media.

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For me yes, there's been a few guys that I have been candid with about my personal life and now know personal stuff about me and vice versa. Although yes sexy time does happen theres often an emotional connection that developes over time. And with that comes trust. It's going to happen for those of us that have been in this game long enough. And I am a ok with that. Having that trust connection with a guy I feel makes our time more special and intimate and that I think makes the sexy time even better for both of us. For any relationship to grow and be genuine you got to have trust.

 

Hugs,

Greg

 

I am very fortunate to see a lovely hot sexy man who I trust and who trusts me. A few years ago I was kidding him about his age and he pulled out his drivers license and handed it to me -- That is trust. In the past he has cleaned my house (a paid assignment) when I was not able - He has visited me in the hospital and brought me home and got me settled and gone shopping for me for things I cannot get delivered.

 

I have met his roommates and family - he has attended happy hour and holiday parties with my friends and family. I have helped him with his primary occupation - resumes - interviews - job strategy and personal problems -- etc.

 

We are able to keep our personal and business relationships separate - One time he did not want to take the envelope because we had such a great time and I did most of the work (hehehe) I would not hear of it!

 

If something works -- Don't fuck with it! -- He was over last night and cooked and cleaned up after dinner --- we talked and had drinks as friends --

 

He was a great comfort to me -- as recently a dear FWB of 7 years with whom he was also acquainted - died prematurely a few weeks ago by his own hand. My FWB and I loved each other very much and I was fortunate that this lovely man was there last night to comfort and console me . . .

 

He has no family here and trusts me with keys to his home -- Trust is a lovely and rare thing!

Edited by Bearofdistinction
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Of course time coupled with consistency of respect and care is a stellar recipe for trust - but as @FTM Zachary Prince said - sometimes it can be the opposite. Some of my hardest clients were those who took the length of our relationship as an invitation to assume that they didn't have to obey my boundaries, or pay attention to my body language any more. Maybe they just thought that I would prefer the devil I knew, but they were wrong and I cut them both off.

 

On the other hand I have relationships with a few men that I count as my longest intimate relationships - because they are that. Once you've been with someone through surgeries, deaths of loved ones, other relationships beginning and ending - even if your meeting is facilitated by the exchange of cash the trust, and care is as real as any other type of lover.

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