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Conflicted about escort's tone - what would you do?


youngboldone
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I reached out to an escort who is visiting my city. Initially sent him an email through RM. He responded pleasantly enough and gave me his phone number, signaling to me that he wanted to continue the conversation via text. So, I texted him asking him about availability. He said he couldn't meet me on the day I suggested. He suggested an alternate day. I told him I already had some obligations that day but would look into moving some things around to make a session happen. He sent me several sexy pics of himself that really got my motor running. So far, so good, right?

 

I then send him another text (probably my 4th to him during the entire conversation) telling him what I was into and asking if he thought we'd be compatible and if he had any other questions for me. He responds by saying, "Please limit messaging me until you are 100% sure you can meet. Otherwise we'll end up chatting a lot and never meeting. I hope you understand ;-)"

 

I'm sorry, but I was under the impression that as a paying client I get to try and ascertain whether my money is going to be well spent on you. How do I know that if I'm not even permitted to ask you questions about what you're into? And why is it that escorts (at least the ones I've contacted) never seem at all interested in finding out what makes me tick and what I'm interested in? I'm the one who has to volunteer that information. I'm truly perplexed. Isn't this supposed to be their business? Yet they make it seem like you're bothering them by trying to communicate! Seems like a lot of guys are in this business who don't really want to be.

 

I'm conflicted because I'm horny, this guy ticks all my boxes in all the right ways....yet this tone is really off putting. What would you do? Book anyway? Or say "Bye, Felicia"?

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well the thing is - you're not a confirmed client. And you're not a paying client yet. The tone of the escort's message was actually very polite while being firm about his rules.

 

I'd say confirm the appointment if you are able to/want to and then ask him the questions. If he refuses to answer your questions after you confirm, then yeah that's off putting and I would take caution in seeing him. If he answers your questions, then I don't see anything wrong with what he's doing.

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Technically, you're not a paying client yet. He muddied the waters by sending pics which opened the conversation. I usually do not ask guys what they're into as it's usually spelled out in their ads or reviews. I think you should just reset and schedule a time and if it continues to be awkward then move on. Too many guys on here are too sensitive. Don't be as electronic communication can be awkward and misinterpreted. You might miss out on a fun session.

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"Technically, you're not a paying client yet." Seriously? Imagine you're in a car dealership and after 4 questions you get that kind of response. I've sometimes exchanged 15-20 texts before I became a "paying client." If you want me to fork over $250 an hour, be prepared to answer 10 questions without being a jerk.

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Although it is hard to pick-up tone in a text, I'd say this guy has attitude.

Whoever would have guessed that a TV reality star with no government experience, 6 bankruptcies, 5 children from 3 different marriages, 11 charges of sexual assault, 4,000+ lawsuits would turn out this bad?

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Why did you wait for the fourth text to state what you are into and check for compatibility? If he is good and demanded, four texts is a too long conversation. He was very polite, you should have checked for compatibility in your first or second message. I always do it in my first.

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It's common and reasonable for an escort to not want to discuss compatibility, particularly if that means preferences and positions, until he's sure that a date and time can be established. Text messages can come across as terse, so I wouldn't read too much into perceived attitude without some other confirmation. If it were me I'd be comfortable holding off on such details until I was sure I could free up my schedule for him.

 

Some escorts will discuss compatibility first, leading to arranging a meeting; others will want to be sure that a meeting is feasible before getting into details. I'd like to think that they'd all be flexible in their discussions, but I'm sure that they've had their share of non-serious inquiries from guys texting with only one hand.

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Yeah, I'll save my hard-earned money for someone willing to put in the time and effort to establish a rapport and connection with me before I commit to spending it. I'm passing on this dude. Has our society devolved to the point where people aren't willing to be kind to one another and converse for 5 minutes before "getting down to business"? Wow. Civility really is dead.

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I reached out to an escort who is visiting my city. Initially sent him an email through RM. He responded pleasantly enough and gave me his phone number, signaling to me that he wanted to continue the conversation via text. So, I texted him asking him about availability. He said he couldn't meet me on the day I suggested. He suggested an alternate day. I told him I already had some obligations that day but would look into moving some things around to make a session happen. He sent me several sexy pics of himself that really got my motor running. So far, so good, right?

 

I then send him another text (probably my 4th to him during the entire conversation) telling him what I was into and asking if he thought we'd be compatible and if he had any other questions for me. He responds by saying, "Please limit messaging me until you are 100% sure you can meet. Otherwise we'll end up chatting a lot and never meeting. I hope you understand ;-)"

 

I'm sorry, but I was under the impression that as a paying client I get to try and ascertain whether my money is going to be well spent on you. How do I know that if I'm not even permitted to ask you questions about what you're into? And why is it that escorts (at least the ones I've contacted) never seem at all interested in finding out what makes me tick and what I'm interested in? I'm the one who has to volunteer that information. I'm truly perplexed. Isn't this supposed to be their business? Yet they make it seem like you're bothering them by trying to communicate! Seems like a lot of guys are in this business who don't really want to be.

 

I'm conflicted because I'm horny, this guy ticks all my boxes in all the right ways....yet this tone is really off putting. What would you do? Book anyway? Or say "Bye, Felicia"?

 

 

Some others responded to your question with answers different than I have.

 

I believe in the old adage, "if someone can do something once, the person can do the same thing again". This means, in your case, the escort already made you uncomfortable over something so simple as your questions to him while you tried to determine if you and the escort might be compatible.

In this regard, I think there is a high probability that if you meet with the escort, and ask further questions, the escort will again have something more abrasive to say to you.

 

Based on what you wrote, it appears that you chose a physically appealing escort who lacks friendly social skills. Therefore, if you meet with the escort, (and based on what he already said to you) there is a high probability that the escort will again come up with another off-putting remark.

 

Although you said you are highly attracted to the escort, I think you should do some heavy duty thinking about how he already made you feel with his first comment about communication with him.

 

Another old adage comes to mind - “there are lots of fish in the sea”

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"Please limit messaging me until you are 100% sure you can meet. Otherwise we'll end up chatting a lot and never meeting. I hope you understand ;-)"

 

I really don't see how this message is offending a lot of you guys, but ok. You guys are making it seem the text is the equivalent of "fuck you, don't waste my time with your texts". It really isn't.

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okay - but the client doesn't even know if he can meet up with the escort based on his schedule. This isn't a confirmed appointment.

 

If the client ends up having the time to see the escort, and then confirms a time - then I'm certain this escort would be happy to answer questions about compatibility. If the escort replies back and it's good to go, then no harm done/no time wasted. If the escort and client find that they are not compatible, then cancel the appointment.

 

If anything the client is wasting his time by not even being sure if he can meet up with the escort at all. You guys are being so overdramatic and nit-picky about this.

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My viewpoint is that it's less intrusive and less offensive to the escort to establish compatibility before making an appointment that I'm then 100% certain to keep rather than commit to someone I know nothing about, then engage in a back and forth, and then cancel an already established appointment. How does that approach make any more sense than just figuring out if a meeting should happen before you commit? I still say my way is better. Plus, the whole notion of hiring someone makes me anxious from the get go. I'm not someone who lets his guard down easily when it comes to sex anyway, let alone having sex with someone who is, for all intents and purposes, a stranger. So, the initial back and forth, question and answer, getting to know you phase is very important for me. If someone isn't willing to even invest a few minutes in you upfront, how generous a lover are they going to be when you finally meet? The session will be all about them. They've already demonstrated that they aren't client focused.

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If someone isn't willing to even invest a few minutes in you upfront, how generous a lover are they going to be when you finally meet? The session will be all about them. They've already demonstrated that they aren't client focused.

 

Over. Dramatic.

 

You're entitled to hire how you want to hire, but keeping your ego in check will help you have a better time in hiring escorts. The escort said something you didn't want to hear, but he did it in a very respectful manner. There's really not an issue with his tone. There really isn't. And in your original post you stated that you are a paying client. You're not. So let's keep the perspective in check.

 

The escort's time is just as valuable as yours. Why entertain a potential client who just said he doesn't even know if he has the time to set up an appointment? How about you see if you even have the time first and then ask him your questions?

 

I guarantee if you figured out your schedule first and THEN asked "Hey, I have free time on Tuesday at 8PM and I'd like to see you for an hour. Can I ask you a few questions about what to expect during our appointment?" you would have gotten what you wanted.

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LOL - I'm the least ego-driven you'll ever meet. You don't know me, so back up. I'd rather not cancel other obligations without knowing first if the escort if even going to be a match. You call it being dramatic. I call it being kind. Empathy is obviously in short supply these days. God knows it is on this forum.

 

I'm sorry, but I was under the impression that as a paying client...

 

why is it that escorts (at least the ones I've contacted) never seem at all interested in finding out what makes me tick and what I'm interested in? I'm the one who has to volunteer that information.

 

Isn't this supposed to be their business? Yet they make it seem like you're bothering them by trying to communicate! Seems like a lot of guys are in this business who don't really want to be.

 

Sure, there's certainly no ego or entitlement in those comments. What about showing empathy for the escort who just doesn't want to engage further with a client who doesn't even know he can book a time?

 

You made this post asking for people's opinions. I'm certainly being direct on our disagreement, but it's pretty obvious you been made up your mind about how you went about this situation, so why bother making this post in the first place?

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