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If you've tried therapy, was it worth the $$$?


FreshFluff
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Despite living in the therapy capital of the world, I've avoided it so far because I've always believed that the money and time are better spent on improving yourself or your skill set rather than talking about your problems. But now I'm thinking about it.

 

If you've tried therapy, what did you get out of it? Did you feel it was worth the cost?

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I think it is worth the cost and time, but the trick is to find someone who isn't going to tell you everything you want to hear and actually challenge you. A big thing I got out of therapy was overcoming a lot of self limiting behavior and also having a better perspective about events that I had no control over.

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I had one therapist whose goal was to keep me as an income source a patient for as long as possible it took for me to no longer require her services. A more recent therapist did me a world of good and was very open with me about when he thought I no longer needed him. Guess who I’ve referred friends to?

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I've avoided it so far because I've always believed that the money and time are better spent on improving yourself

Well, therapy is about improving yourself, so it isn’t just “talking about your problems.” That’s what friends are for :). Professionals are for something else.

 

One thing to realize is that the process takes time. It took a while to become the person you are, and want to change, when you first walk into a therapist’s office, so it will take a while to undo that stuff and make the changes. The initial appointment is the place to be as specific and as honest as possible about why you are there, what you hope to accomplish and what your fears of being there are.

 

Kman also makes an excellent point: The key is to find a really good therapist. That’s not easy. You’ll know fairly quickly whether or not you can work with the person.

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Thanks for the responses.

 

@LaffingBear , I don't see therapy and self improvement/skillset development as mutually exclusive. I just thought the latter could be accomplished more directly in other ways, but eventually you hit a wall.

 

@Kman and @Kenny , as you say, it's difficult to find someone good. I happened to get a referral from an acquaintance; he's a great fit but very expensive because he's an MD. I don't want to start a new search , so I'll probably go with him if I do it at all.

 

@rvwnsd , I'm glad you found a good therapist that was honest with you. It's nice of you to refer friends because it's hard to find a good therapist than a good PCP or other type of doctor.

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Not sure what the licensing is in your state, but the guy I liked is a Marriage and Family Therapist, which in CA allows him to see clients for other than marriage and family therapy. By contrast, the therapist I did not care for was a PhD who also taught at Northwestern.

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I suffer from a deep and recalcitrant depression. I’ve had therapy most of my life. I’ve seen numerous professionals most of them substandard. I’ve spent a fortune.

 

The purpose of therapy is to help you learn to help yourself.

 

On an extremely personal note, despite all the “support” I still reached a point of desperation and tried to take my own life.

 

But by chance and luck I FINALLY found someone who has changed my life. He knows more about his profession than I can ever describe here.

 

He’s so special that even after he relocated to another city we still conduct our sessions over the telephone. Not the optimal experience but it still works for me.

 

I’m afraid I’ve run on here.

 

So to answer the OP’s question. Yes it is worth the money if you carefully vet your therapist and not be afraid to move on if you aren’t feeling more self insightful and at peace.

 

Good luck to you.

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@Kman and @Kenny , as you say, it's difficult to find someone good. I happened to get a referral from an acquaintance; he's a great fit but very expensive because he's an MD. I don't want to start a new search , so I'll probably go with him if I do it at a

The money thing is a common issue. On one hand, if your financial situation is such that the help is just beyond you, a therapist will likely work with you to figure out something affordable. On the other hand, if it’s more just a general concern, the fee is an indication to the therapist of your seriousness; paying every week is a definite spur to a patient doing the necessary work!

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Did therapy for two years long ago to work through some personal pain. Best decision I ever made. Changed my life forever. Did psychiatry not psychology. I loved my therapist, an older gay man who had been in a monogamous marriage for over 50 years. He was a true inspiration. He really helped me see the light of day.

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I’d say it’s like anything else. It works for some-ok it works for a lot. But it doesn’t work for everyone-just like 12 Step Programs aren’t a good fit for everyone.

 

I don’t think counseling has been overly helpful for me. On the other hand, maybe it’s helped me more than I know-especially after the course of therapy even if not particularly during therapy.

 

One thing to watch out for with MD’s-they have a tendency to push medications-same thing with psychiatric nurse practitioners. While everyone is different, and medications seem to help a lot of people, I’ve been tried on three different medications in the past. They always had side effects and did nothing for my mood that I could tell.

 

Gman

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Despite living in the therapy capital of the world, I've avoided it so far because I've always believed that the money and time are better spent on improving yourself or your skill set rather than talking about your problems. But now I'm thinking about it.

 

If you've tried therapy, what did you get out of it? Did you feel it was worth the cost?

You may want to start with a facilitated discussion group instead of individual therapy. Its cheaper, you may develop a personal connection with a person that has done individual therapy that could give you a referral you trust, you can combine talking and listening - both are great skills.

Edited by P Gren
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You may want to start with a facilitated discussion group for gay men in stead of individual therapy. Its cheaper, you may develop a personal connection with a man that has done individual therapy, you can combine talking and listening - both are great skills.

Lol...for FreshFluff?

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As with many things in life, it depends. There are many "schools of thought" in "therapy." Plus, psychiatry for pharmacological help. Over the years, I've talked to a few professional therapists for various reasons. Finding someone with the right training for your issues is critical as is someone who's personality and therapy style "clicks" with you and how you think/feel/react. I'm a fan of Gestalt. I knew a psychoanalyst many years ago who was amazingly helpful. Though I tend to be far more Jungian than Freudian in my psychoanalytic thinking. I'm also a big believer in biofeedback. It just depends on what's going on in your life and you and your reactions to life. Find a good match for those and you'll probably have a great therapeutic experience.

 

http://www.apa.org/topics/therapy/psychotherapy-approaches.aspx

 

https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types

Edited by LivingnLA
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When I had a mild breakdown and dropped out of college, my parents asked me to see a psychologist (slightly ironical, since I had been majoring in psychology). The man they sent me to listened to my story, which included the fact that I was gay, then asked me whether I wanted to change. I said, no, not really, I liked who I was. Then he said that it sounded to him like my main problem was trying to hide who I was from the people I cared about. He suggested that I start by going home and coming out to my parents. So I did. He was right. That was the end of my therapy.

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