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dansci
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we are apparently a significant demographic. Realising often later in life that sexuality is alot more complex than we thought. I see other posts from you guys here in the reviews. So, who else is out there? How did you come to explore this, what choices have you made to keep this secret. What are your stories...how did you search? Who do you talk to aside from the escorts you see?

I'd like to hear from others.

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I already need to be more specific...I'm from Canada

And congrats to all the gay Canadians (and Spanish and Dutch etc...)...whether marriage is or isn't your cup of tea...you now have the choice...which is what it is all about...

So...I meant men married to women exploring the other side

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There is undoubtedly someone reading my first post right now who is getting ready to post something like this: "Don't pay any attention to Woodlawn, he always gets very judgmental on the subject of married men who hire escorts and he constantly makes insulting remarks about them." I might as well save that person the trouble and post it for him.

 

And what he was going to write about me is quite true. There are some people on this board who believe that the history of discrimination against gay men justifies anything a gay man wants to do in order to "express his sexuality." But I'm not one of them.

I think that deceiving and betraying someone to whom you've made a pledge of loyalty and fidelity is a rotten thing to do. And I think that escorts who take money for helping married men do that are no different from gun dealers or liquor dealers or drug dealers; all of them make money by selling something they know may well do harm to the buyer or to someone else, but as long as they don't have to deal with the consequences they don't care. They just want the money.

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Guest JohnPela

>There is undoubtedly someone reading my first post right now

>who is getting ready to post something like this: "Don't pay

>any attention to Woodlawn, he always gets very judgmental on

>the subject of married men who hire escorts and he constantly

>makes insulting remarks about them." I might as well save

>that person the trouble and post it for him.

>

>And what he was going to write about me is quite true. There

>are some people on this board who believe that the history of

>discrimination against gay men justifies anything a gay man

>wants to do in order to "express his sexuality." But I'm not

>one of them.

>I think that deceiving and betraying someone to whom you've

>made a pledge of loyalty and fidelity is a rotten thing to do.

> And I think that escorts who take money for helping married

>men do that are no different from gun dealers or liquor

>dealers or drug dealers; all of them make money by selling

>something they know may well do harm to the buyer or to

>someone else, but as long as they don't have to deal with the

>consequences they don't care. They just want the money.

 

I don't post too much on this section. From my perspective, I have to totally agree with Woodlawn, however. If you take a vow of marriage with a woman or a man now in Netherlands, Belgium, Spain or Canada (or your own civil ceremony of committment anywhere else) then you should be faithfull to your vow or if you can't or work it out then end the agreement of marriage (or agree to mutual swinging, etc).

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Woodlawn, I think that you are perhaps making one error in judgement. Just because there is a marriage present does not mean that there is a closed relationship going on. Spouses can talk to each other, and hopefully do it before they get married, and decide that they will have an open relationship. This is not just something that a husband and husband can decide. The decision is open to husband and wife as well.

I do agree with you about people in closed relationships. (And it doesn't change my mind whether or not they are legally married.) But there is no reason to assume that this poster is in a closed relationship.

I do not personally allow myself to be knowingly hired by half of a closed relationship, and I categorically state that on the first page of my site. And I, too, have said that here over and over again, as we have now both pointed out about ourselves. So I am surprised that you seem to lump me together with the escorts who will.

Now that we have both said what we think, and pointed out that we have said it over and over, perhaps we can both now withdraw from this thread without hijacking it any further and see if there are any newer ideas come out of it?

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And just why are you confining your condeming comments to escorts?

 

Don't you think that a man could have relations with another man that didn't involve money? Most gay men could tell you that they have had sex with many men that are married to women.

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I realized after 20 years of marriage that I had suppresed my interest in other men. My first male experiance was with a male escort. Nervous, I sought out his services and he showed me evrything about male sex that I had ever wondered about. After that, I was ready to find men that I did not have to hire. I suggest that any late blooming man should hire the services of an escort first.

I am glad I did.

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>Woodlawn, I think that you are perhaps making one error in

>judgement. Just because there is a marriage present does not

>mean that there is a closed relationship going on. Spouses can

>talk to each other, and hopefully do it before they get

>married, and decide that they will have an open relationship.

 

I'm aware of the existence of so-called "open relationships," and I think it should be obvious to anyone who read my posts that such a relationship is not included in the category of relationships in which one makes a pledge of fidelity to the other person. It is people who have made such a pledge that I referred to.

 

> But there is no reason to assume that this poster is

>in a closed relationship.

 

I don't know whether he is or not. But I must tell you I think it most unlikely that there are a lot of wives who are quite comfortable with the idea that their husband has many gay men as sex partners, whether or not they happen to be escorts. My suspicion is that that is a rarity.

 

>Now that we have both said what we think, and pointed out that

>we have said it over and over, perhaps we can both now

>withdraw from this thread without hijacking it any further and

>see if there are any newer ideas come out of it?

 

Hijacking? If our comments are not relevant to the topic of this thread then I can't think what would be relevant. Newer ideas? Like what? The problem of marital fidelity is as old as marriage.

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Guest mbarz

>I realized after 20 years of marriage that I had suppresed my

>interest in other men. My first male experiance was with a

>male escort. Nervous, I sought out his services and he showed

>me evrything about male sex that I had ever wondered about.

>After that, I was ready to find men that I did not have to

>hire. I suggest that any late blooming man should hire the

>services of an escort first.

>I am glad I did.

 

Are you still married or did you leave your wife and come out of the closet? If you did end your marriage, did you tell your wife why you were leaving her and what was her reaction?

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>But I gotta ask...what do you love about us married guys.

 

Well, it isn't necessarily the married part but I admire guys who are attracted to (or have sex) with both sexes. And on another level, guys who have had sex with women sometimes seem to be gentler and more sensual, and it's an interesting change from guys who are rougher (which is hot, too; I like it all). Although I am masculine and do enjoy being aggressive at times, I find it sexy to be treated like "the woman" by a married man. However, some married guys are total bottoms when they are with another man, so that's not always the case. I guess what really turns me on is what I said first: that bi and married guys seem to have the capacity to love more, since they don't limit themselves to just one half of the population.

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Guest mbarz

>You forgot, given his signature, if his "interest" involves

>only "men, hehehe" who are actually "little boys"? :(

 

Little boys are still more appropriate than your usual partners, eh beastyboy.

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Whats confusing? You have stated many times how you hate the term "str8" acting, but now you "gush" on and on about how you like to service "str8 married men" cause they have that gentle touch, whereas all of us faggots are "rough"?

 

As I said earlier, "work it girl"!

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Yes...I figured I needed someone who knows what they are doing to help me explore this.

Fortunately I have really lucked out with two who live in separate cities...both tremendous guys who have helped me a lot and taught me about male pleasure....discreetly and safely.

Marriage really is a lot more complex than some of the posters on this board think. I supported my wife during her mid life crisis which included a very public affair and held my family together through this and helped her rebuild her life here back in the home after that. I have also supported her through her decision to be celibate the past 10 years because of childhood experiences she didn't know about when we got married. Both things were "not in the original agreement", but I am still committed to her. Reading people's pronouncements on my life who have been neither married or through a midlife crisis is only mildly amusing.

My mid life crisis has taken this form...and I've chosen to explore it in private without blowing up her life ...we both suffered enough through hers. She really can't help me with it anyways....

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That is an interesting comment. The fact is that this exploration of male to male sexuality has not diminished my love for my wife...maybe something to do with that extra sexuality capacity that you describe.

I have been fortunate to explore different roles with several escorts...again, I don't tend to categorise the roles as "passive or active" or "top or bottom" as I see many gay men do...and indeed the entire erotic experience is what really makes it with me...being giving with pleasure and learning to accept it. But yes...if we are just talking cock I have been on both the giving and receiving end.

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dansci..IMHO..Sex is an Animalistic Act.. "Alot of Animals" are Bi..Man has just developed it into a "Conversational" Artform. As far as how many "Gay Guys" are into Married Guys,Probably about the same that are into Single guys, Fat Guys, Built Guys, etc..Personally there are alot of "Hot" Guys in NYC, But if they are "Pushing a Stroller" their "Hottness" goes from 10 to zero for me..But there are those who I am sure find the Stroller Crowd Fascinating! LOL :+

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The term "straight-acting" implies that gay men are naturally effeminate, while straight men are the archetype of masculinity. In my post, I said that guys who have had sex with women "sometimes seem to be" gentler and more sensual but that it is "not always the case." Hey, I guess I wasn't the one who was confused after all. :p

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Guest mbarz

RE: Closet Case

 

>Sorry, I don't put much stock in the opinions of those that

>spend their lives in the dark dangling from a wire hanger.

 

 

Closet Case? Sorry, Buzzy, not me, I'm starting to worry about you, maybe you should try a new "cocktail"...your dementia is getting worse.

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