Argument with an escort

[GTMike]

Appreciate your openess and honesty to begin with, your apparent sincere interest in trying to help a young person learn some useful life lessons despite the obvious, numerous and various "risks", and then also were open and honest enough to admit in retrospect, you may have been not seeing everything as clear as perhaps you should have earlier but then also

"man enough" to acknowledge later you prolly made a mistake.

[+ augustus]

Appreciate your openess and honesty to begin with, your apparent sincere interest in trying to help a young person learn some useful life lessons despite the obvious, numerous and various "risks", and then also were open and honest enough to admit in retrospect, you may have been not seeing everything as clear as perhaps you should have earlier but then also

"man enough" to acknowledge later you prolly made a mistake.

 

Yes, I was blinded. The anger, in a public place, really shocked me. I couldn't say anything. He walked ahead of me while I paid the bill and waited in the parking lot next to his car. When I came out I was going to head for my car but I turned and gave him his fee. He went to hug me, I backed off and told him we were done and then he got this shocked look on his face. Anyway, it was an emotional hit to me for a couple of weeks but life goes on and I wish him the best. He really can't control his anger and that hateful look he gave me at the table was really incredible and an eye opener for me.

[MikeBiDude]

Yes, I was blinded...Anyway, it was an emotional hit to me for a couple of weeks but life goes on and I wish him the best. He really can't control his anger and that hateful look he gave me at the table was really incredible and an eye opener for me.

I was that doormat once with similar feelings to your's stated above. Yes that "emotional hit" is still there sometimes but it's tempered by the great practical feeling that I'm better with him out of my life.

[+ Just Sayin]

@augustus, as raw as your feelings were at the time, you did the right thing; it wasn't healthy for you to continue and we all learn from these life episodes; life does go on

[marylander1940]

I've been seeing this guy for nearly 2 and a half years. Straight, good looking muscular jock in his early 20's. I see him 2-3 times a month and we often go out to the Diner afterwards. Our last meet a week ago ended in a serious argument over politics. We have debated before over this and I don't take it seriously. It was usually a good natured argument. He would always bring this stuff up. I would just disagree with him, smile or say whatever. This last meet a week ago he got furious (to the point of being menacing), snatched the money out of my hand, stormed out and slammed the door behind him. WTF?? I'm going from angry to laughing about it. Now he's texting me about when our next meet is as if nothing happened. I actually cared about this kid and would have meets when he needed the money, but he is a tough guy and gets into brawls when he goes clubbing. Right now I'm inclined to just cut him off but my heart still cares about him. Any advice guys?

 

Move on... I'm sorry to fall into stereotypes but he's a straight guy having sex with gay men for money and he's also ungrateful. Move on, it won't end well.

[GTMike]

Yes, I was blinded. The anger, in a public place, really shocked me. I couldn't say anything. He walked ahead of me while I paid the bill and waited in the parking lot next to his car. When I came out I was going to head for my car but I turned and gave him his fee. He went to hug me, I backed off and told him we were done and then he got this shocked look on his face. Anyway, it was an emotional hit to me for a couple of weeks but life goes on and I wish him the best. He really can't control his anger and that hateful look he gave me at the table was really incredible and an eye opener for me.

Yeah that's really tough as i have friends, strictly platonic, etc.. who have had/have "Anger Management" issues, and although there were occasional flashes i witnessed, they know it, can talk about it rationally and in some cases have voluntary and in one case "court ordered" counselling. They're married and live otherwise very productive lives and as they've gotten older i've seen them radically mature to the point where its been a longstanding non-issue. Point being (if at least between you two), you had 70 plus successful encounters over a 2 1/2 year period, i personally would think as well, that i "knew" the person well enough and could "handle" it. So i feel for ya, when you have to realize and accept, that either you didn't really know the person as well as you thought, and/or your influence couldn't "change" the person despite well intentions. Totally tough as when i like someone and see their potential or see them wasting their potential, i have to admit i can have a "Messiah" complex and not want to give up on folks but often you got to. Especially in this particular dynamic as i also agree a "straight guy" with this type of arrangement can lead you to being a very likely scapegoat and misplaced recipient of his anger and frustration which at some point most likely is eventually doomed to lead to resentment towards you (as well as others) as he assesses his life. (to be clear, these are totally his issues, not yours).

[GoldenGrill]

The OP has to be trolling... with every response, the kid in question's history of violence gets more and more extreme. I don't know what's making me feel crazier, his ambivalence about what to do in the first place or the grown ass men who have peppered the pages of this thread with nonsense about educating and cutting a young man some slack... this man is grown and he is dangerous. Wake the f up!

[+ purplekow]

Well, I did break it off December, 2015 for about a month and a half. He started texting me again and I responded and we got back again. Guaranteed him 3 meets a month to help him out and things were going well for a long while. He would bring up politics again and again and I would patronize him and not get excited about it. I would even meet him at the Diner and pay him his fee and treat him because sometimes I would be tired. Well, early August we were at the Diner and he started getting loud and making a scene about F'n politics again! My jaw dropped and the people around us were staring at us. What the hell is wrong with people? I just don't get it. Anyway the naysayers were basically correct nearly 2 years ago. I've broken it off completely. It just mindboggling that anyone would persist like he does. I was willing to back up this guy to the hilt and I have means. I'm not a psychologist and can't comprehend the mentality of this kid. I do realize now he just has contempt for me and while I'm generally not a door mat, I let him control the relationship way too much. Thanks guys.

I hope you fucked him real hard at some point.

[+ augustus]

Yes, I was blinded. The anger, in a public place, really shocked me. I couldn't say anything. He walked ahead of me while I paid the bill and waited in the parking lot next to his car. When I came out I was going to head for my car but I turned and gave him his fee. He went to hug me, I backed off and told him we were done and then he got this shocked look on his face. Anyway, it was an emotional hit to me for a couple of weeks but life goes on and I wish him the best. He really can't control his anger and that hateful look he gave me at the table was really incredible and an eye opener for me.

Yeah that's really tough as i have friends, strictly platonic, etc.. who have had/have "Anger Management" issues, and although there were occasional flashes i witnessed, they know it, can talk about it rationally and in some cases have voluntary and in one case "court ordered" counselling. They're married and live otherwise very productive lives and as they've gotten older i've seen them radically mature to the point where its been a longstanding non-issue. Point being (if at least between you two), you had 70 plus successful encounters over a 2 1/2 year period, i personally would think as well, that i "knew" the person well enough and could "handle" it. So i feel for ya, when you have to realize and accept, that either you didn't really know the person as well as you thought, and/or your influence couldn't "change" the person despite well intentions. Totally tough as when i like someone and see their potential or see them wasting their potential, i have to admit i can have a "Messiah" complex and not want to give up on folks but often you got to. Especially in this particular dynamic as i also agree a "straight guy" with this type of arrangement can lead you to being a very likely scapegoat and misplaced recipient of his anger and frustration which at some point most likely is eventually doomed to lead to resentment towards you (as well as others) as he assesses his life. (to be clear, these are totally his issues, not yours).

 

Great post and very insightful Mike. Thanks.

[+ augustus]

The OP has to be trolling... with every response, the kid in question's history of violence gets more and more extreme. I don't know what's making me feel crazier, his ambivalence about what to do in the first place or the grown ass men who have peppered the pages of this thread with nonsense about educating and cutting a young man some slack... this man is grown and he is dangerous. Wake the f up!

 

Hey, maybe, just maybe, some of us don't give up so easily. Or are so quick to discard.

[N13]

Hey, maybe, just maybe, some of us don't give up so easily. Or are so quick to discard.

 

It has nothing to do with giving up. None of us, unless we have a degree in psychology, has the knowledge or ability to help someone as disturbed - or not - as this one seems.

[+ Italiano]

Well, I did break it off December, 2015 for about a month and a half. He started texting me again and I responded and we got back again. Guaranteed him 3 meets a month to help him out and things were going well for a long while. He would bring up politics again and again and I would patronize him and not get excited about it. I would even meet him at the Diner and pay him his fee and treat him because sometimes I would be tired. Well, early August we were at the Diner and he started getting loud and making a scene about F'n politics again! My jaw dropped and the people around us were staring at us. What the hell is wrong with people? I just don't get it. Anyway the naysayers were basically correct nearly 2 years ago. I've broken it off completely. It just mindboggling that anyone would persist like he does. I was willing to back up this guy to the hilt and I have means. I'm not a psychologist and can't comprehend the mentality of this kid. I do realize now he just has contempt for me and while I'm generally not a door mat, I let him control the relationship way too much. Thanks guys.

 

 

WELL DONE!!

[GoldenGrill]

Hey, maybe, just maybe, some of us don't give up so easily. Or are so quick to discard.

 

You can't fix stupid!