Argument with an escort

[+ augustus]

I've been seeing this guy for nearly 2 and a half years. Straight, good looking muscular jock in his early 20's. I see him 2-3 times a month and we often go out to the Diner afterwards. Our last meet a week ago ended in a serious argument over politics. We have debated before over this and I don't take it seriously. It was usually a good natured argument. He would always bring this stuff up. I would just disagree with him, smile or say whatever. This last meet a week ago he got furious (to the point of being menacing), snatched the money out of my hand, stormed out and slammed the door behind him. WTF?? I'm going from angry to laughing about it. Now he's texting me about when our next meet is as if nothing happened. I actually cared about this kid and would have meets when he needed the money, but he is a tough guy and gets into brawls when he goes clubbing. Right now I'm inclined to just cut him off but my heart still cares about him. Any advice guys?

[N13]

Follow your instincts and steer clear. You would not have written in the forum if you didn't already know the answer. Do it gently. No need to go into the whole argument thing as it will only open the door for further problems. imho

[MikeyGMin]

One bad experience in more than two years. Isn't it possible he was just having a bad night?

 

Unless he really, really scared me, I personally wouldn't end a good thing over one argument. However, I would tell him that I don't want to discuss politics in the future.

[mattr]

I would be honest and let him know that losing his temper made you uncomfortable and that you want to take a break. This doesn't close the door on future meets but gives you time to really analyze the situation and assess your comfort level in continuing the relationship.

[jawjateck]

Right or wrong, you are emotionally invested in him, so since you may continue seeing him, set the parameters for success and fun. Don't put yourself in harm's way, nor continue to hire if the fun is gone, but it's ok to cut a young guy some slack. Don't pretend nothing uncomfortable occurred; help educate him.

[dcguy20]

I personally don't like that he snatched the money out of your hand and left.

[+ augustus]

Right or wrong, you are emotionally invested in him, so since you may continue seeing him, set the parameters for success and fun. Don't put yourself in harm's way, nor continue to hire if the fun is gone, but it's ok to cut a young guy some slack. Don't pretend nothing uncomfortable occurred; help educate him.

 

Yes, I am emotionally invested in him. But he also got out of line about a year ago when he got frustrated over clients that shortchanged him and wanted to hit the next one who does so. I jokingly said what if I forget to go to the ATM? He said don't. Then I said what if I did would you punch me out? He said yes. I got upset and he became very apologetic. The thing is this kid is brutally honest and I actually respect that, but he hates what he does and it shows. I always am accommodative to him. When he's late I don't say anything. I basically let him call the meets to make it easier for him. He asks my advice about other things. But the nature of this business, like the back and forth with endless emails with fussy clients who don't end up booking, is wearing on him. N13 has a valid point and so do you. Thanks for your reply.

[caliguy]

I am emotionally invested in him.

frustrated over clients that shortchanged him. I said what if I did would you punch me out? He said yes.

he hates what he does and it shows.

Sounds really wonderful. Don't change a thing.

[+ purplekow]

Well, it hasn't become physically abusive, but if you were coming to me for advice, I would tell you that a young man with a bad temper is best left. You can continue to care for him, but it would make more sense to stay away.

However, as is the case in many volatile relationships, the limits here may be drawn at a place with which you feel comfort, and then I would advise to carefully watch those borders. I would tell him that politics is off the table for now. With the presidential election coming up, best keep this as a taboo subject.

[Edward]

Ok, you are emotionally invested in him. Can you live without him comfortably? If not you need to take control of the situation. Tell him you will no longer discuss politics or what ever upsets him. You will call him when you want to get together. Not sure he does not like what he is doing. He may be more attached to you than you think. Keep your head/your temper. Your money, you should control the situation.

[marylander1940]

I've been seeing this guy for nearly 2 and a half years. Straight, good looking muscular jock in his early 20's. I see him 2-3 times a month and we often go out to the Diner afterwards. Our last meet a week ago ended in a serious argument over politics. We have debated before over this and I don't take it seriously. It was usually a good natured argument. He would always bring this stuff up. I would just disagree with him, smile or say whatever. This last meet a week ago he got furious (to the point of being menacing), snatched the money out of my hand, stormed out and slammed the door behind him. WTF?? I'm going from angry to laughing about it. Now he's texting me about when our next meet is as if nothing happened. I actually cared about this kid and would have meets when he needed the money, but he is a tough guy and gets into brawls when he goes clubbing. Right now I'm inclined to just cut him off but my heart still cares about him. Any advice guys?

 

he should learn to put emotions/politics outside business, specially this kind of business.

 

I don't know if he's straight or not, many gay men advertise themselves that way just to get more attention because they're something we can't have unless we pay ... but many times it's been discussed in this forum the connection between straight pornstars/escorts and crime. If he has a violent nature with others, sooner or later that might come to you, he might even have a record and maybe that's why he escorts.

 

Do what you want! It's your choice! Maybe sex is great to keep up with him bringing such confrontational issue, and maybe where you live you don't have other choices like him...

 

Just a friendly advice don't take him out to dinner, and make sure he doesn't talk much in the afterglow, just give him the money so he won't talk about politics with you.

 

Ok, you are emotionally invested in him. Can you live without him comfortably? If not you need to take control of the situation. Tell him you will no longer discuss politics or what ever upsets him. You will call him when you want to get together. Not sure he does not like what he is doing. He may be more attached to you than you think. Keep your head/your temper. Your money, you should control the situation.

 

Good advice, maybe he'll grow up and get it. Growling (maybe biting in the future) the hand that feeds him isn't a good policy for regulars.

 

Well, it hasn't become physically abusive, but if you were coming to me for advice, I would tell you that a young man with a bad temper is best left....

 

I get your point and your perspective, certainly if the OP was a woman we'd tell (her) him to change the lock and get out but the OP is gay man paying for sex with a twink with temper issues.

[BaronArtz]

Keeping politics off the table is a Band-Aid solution and won't help long term. He will find something else to be temperamental about. I understand/sympathize with him being straight (possibly) and being frustrated dealing with demanding gay clients. How would you feel if you were a young gay man and would sleep with elderly women for a living? There is an inherent conflict there that is difficult to resolve.

 

I understand that you are emotionally invested in him. However, take a breather from him and start seeing other escorts if you can. You will possibly discover that there is a big world out there and that he is by no means 'unique'. Easier said than done, I know. We are not always rational.

 

Good luck!

[+ augustus]

"I don't know if he's straight or not, many gay men advertise themselves that way just to get more attention because they're something we can't have unless we pay ... but many times it's been discussed in this forum the connection between straight pornstars/escorts and crime. If he has a violent nature with others, sooner or later that might come to you, he might even have a record and maybe that's why he escorts."

 

 

His record is a DUI and 3 or 4 assaults. He is actually very friendly and personable most of the time. Not a miserable person generally.

[jawjateck]

My first impulse to your original post is "cut him" out of your life, but I wrote what I wrote because people do what they want to do, not what others suggest they do. Based on your follow-up comments, you are vulnerable. Physical altercations are predictable, and you are headed that way with this guy.

[+ augustus]

My first impulse to your original post is "cut him" out of your life, but I wrote what I wrote because people do what they want to do, not what others suggest they do. Based on your follow-up comments, you are vulnerable. Physical altercations are predictable, and you are headed that way with this guy.

 

Physical altercations are predictable after 70-80 meets without one? I should just dump him after all this time? Family and friends have it out all the time I'm afraid but can still care about each other.

[BaronArtz]

[quote="augustus, post: 1024436, member: 11447

 

 

He record is a DUI and 3 or 4 assaults. He is actually very friendly and personable most of the time. Not a miserable person generally.

 

A drinking problem maybe? Alcohol can cause aggressive behavior in people. Just be careful and consider cutting him out of your life. As others have observed, you are vulnerable. Not a very exciting way to spend a Saturday evening if the next outburst of aggression can happen at any time.

 

There have to be other escorts you can see ...

[+ Keith30309]

[quote="augustus, post: 1024436, member: 11447

 

 

He record is a DUI and 3 or 4 assaults. He is actually very friendly and personable most of the time. Not a miserable person generally.

 

A drinking problem maybe? Alcohol can cause aggressive behavior in people. Just be careful and consider cutting him out of your life. As others have observed, you are vulnerable. Not a very exciting way to spend a Saturday evening if the next outburst of aggression can happen at any time.

 

+1

Been there, done that, got the busted Hilton floor lamp.

[marylander1940]

"I don't know if he's straight or not, many gay men advertise themselves that way just to get more attention because they're something we can't have unless we pay ... but many times it's been discussed in this forum the connection between straight pornstars/escorts and crime. If he has a violent nature with others, sooner or later that might come to you, he might even have a record and maybe that's why he escorts."

 

 

He record is a DUI and 3 or 4 assaults. He is actually very friendly and personable most of the time. Not a miserable person generally.

 

And he's not even 25.... Sorry but it doesn't look pretty already.

[BabyBoomer]

Physical altercations are predictable after 70-80 meets without one? I should just dump him after all this time? Family and friends have it out all the time I'm afraid but can still care about each other.

 

Does he still have a girlfriend?

 

~ Boomer ~

[John Krups]

I am amazed at all the comments about cutting this guy off. If we're really going to be completely tolerant and accepting, understanding of other people's problems and not act like rednecks we should be talking about ways to help this kid. It's one thing to discuss politics, it's quite another to put into practice the politics we preach.

[+ augustus]

And he's not even 25.... Sorry but it doesn't look pretty already.

 

But the fights are with his own age group. He broke one guy's jaw at a club but the guy grabbed his girlfriend's ass.

[+ augustus]

Does he still have a girlfriend?

 

~ Boomer ~

 

Yes he does. She even knows about me LOL. She accepts it as long as he only tops.

[BaronArtz]

But the fights are with his own age group. He broke one guy's jaw at a club but the guy grabbed his girlfriend's ass.

 

That makes sense. When an unpleasant thing happens, you just break somebody's jaw. Why not, in fact?

 

Your jaw is next.

[+ goosh69]

Hmmmmmmmmmm this guy sounds AWFULLY FAMLIAR!!! Was he just under house arrest? Even if it's not the same guy, I've been with a guy who sounds just like this guy. Severe ADHD. On the highest dosages of Aderal. Zero impulse control. Multiple DUIS. Broke his friends jaw. Under 25. His older GF knows what he does. He also hits me up for money EVEN WHEN WE DONT HANG OUT.

 

My mother used to to date losers like this. Pretty boys with bad tempers. I hated it then, so I know not to keep seeing the kid. He's got too much drama. And I know he he has other male clients, a GF, and girls on the side all helping him out financially and all somewhere between infatuated and in love with him.

 

My advice is STAY AWAY. He is bad news, whether or not it's the same guy or not. Some other less messed up guy will happen along. And trust me the kid does not feel a fraction of what you feel for him.

[+ augustus]

Hmmmmmmmmmm this guy sounds AWFULLY FAMLIAR!!! Was he just under house arrest? Even if it's not the same guy, I've been with a guy who sounds just like this guy. Severe ADHD. On the highest dosages of Aderal. Zero impulse control. Multiple DUIS. Broke his friends jaw. Under 25. His older GF knows what he does. He also hits me up for money EVEN WHEN WE DONT HANG OUT.

 

My mother used to to date losers like this. Pretty boys with bad tempers. I hated it then, so I know not to keep seeing the kid. He's got too much drama. And I know he he has other male clients, a GF, and girls on the side all helping him out financially and all somewhere between infatuated and in love with him.

 

My advice is STAY AWAY. He is bad news, whether or not it's the same guy or not. Some other less messed up guy will happen along. And trust me the kid does not feel a fraction of what you feel for him.

 

No not the same guy. Not under house arrest and his girlfriend is 21. Just one DUI. And he's never asked me for loans or additional money besides the fee.