Is feedback ever appropriate?

[Jax92]

I just had an escort experience that I would describe as being unsatisfactory. It wasn't horrible, but I would definitely not hire this escort again. He was a nice guy and I believe him to be genuine, but he has much to learn. So my question to escorts, is it ever appropriate to provide direct feedback (versus a review)? And if so, when would be the best time (real time or after)?

 

The issue was not one of conveying personal preferences (which I would definitely convey in real time), but one of the escorts overall performance. I literally had to initiate everything during the encounter.

[+ poolboy48220]

My roommate & I had a long discussion about this yesterday - just in general, not specifically the case of an escort. I'm more of the 'free advice is worth what you pay for it' school, whereas he's in the 'if I have some advice for someone I'll give it' mindset. It really depends on the situation and your guess, given the time and the person, of how receptive they'd be to your advice.

 

Miss Manners doesn't run around giving etiquette citations - she only gives advice when asked.

[+ purplekow]

If you had misgivings about rehiring him and wanted more information about a future encounter, i would bring it up. You might say: "I would consider hiring you again but I would need you to be a little bit more of an initiator, because sometimes I just like to relax knowing something exciting is going to happen without having to consider what i need to do to get it to happen." It foucuses the issue on you rather than his performance. IF you are definitely not going back, you can let him know the reason you are not calling back, but since many escort sessions are one time only situations, that discussion may be unwelcomed and likely will go unheeded.

I recently had an nice encounter with a well reviewed escort, which was fun but wound up with me being much more of a giver than a receiver. I enjoyed the encounter but I have doubts about rehiring. I would definitely make my desires for a second encounter much more defined, should I decide to go back.

[BaronArtz]

That's a very timely question. When I have a great experience, I always say that to the escort at the end of a session, and tip well. I sometimes follow up with a 'thank you note' type of email. Luckily, I have had very few negative experiences. Until last week. Here is what happened: I hired a well-reviewed escort three times through a well-known agency that I have worked with it in the past.

 

The first time, the appointment was on a Saturday 11:00 a.m. - confirmed by the agency. I show up at the guy's place precisely on time, there was no answer. I wait 10 minutes, ring the door bell again, the guy is there. He is showered, he looks hot, it was a fun session. But I had the distinct impression he had over-slept and I had just woken him up. Nevertheless, a great experience.

 

The second time, I hire the same escort again, through the same agency. Timing confirmed on a Friday 02:00 p.m. The escort (who now has my email) contacts me directly and asks to change time and date. Since this was requested on the day before the appointment, it was not a problem to change. I show up, the guy is ready, the session was fun, but a bit less intense than the first one. I felt a bit 'rushed out the door' after 45 minutes. I decide to say nothing to the agency.

 

The third time, same escort, same agency, Friday 04:00 p.m. appointment, confirmed by agency. I confirm separately with the escort, asking that if he needs to change to give me some notice. I show up at 04:00 p.m., there is no answer. At 04:01 p.m. there is a text message from the escort - he is running 20 minutes late, please wait for me at the nearby park. I am fine with it. It is NYC after all, traffic can be horrendous. I meet the escort on the street at 04:20 p.m., he says he is really too tired to do a session. Can we please reschedule for the next day? I found his attitude about it a bit 'smug', I am disappointed, but I don't want to insist on having a session with him if he is going to be too tired. A few hours later I send him a message saying that (1) sure we can reschedule and (2) if you think I am not the right type of client for you, please say so and let's move on. Now a week later, no answer. I read this as the escort wasn't really into me to begin with and is not interested in having repeat appointments with me. Which is fine, I think it's good to know that. No need to spend $300 on a potentially mechanical performance.

 

I will not send another email to the escort asking about 'what happened' because that would show excessive eagerness from my side. The issue I really have is: should I contact the agency? On one hand, yes, they need to know how the escort handled the situation - the session did not take place, after all. On the other hand, this could seriously upset the agency/escort relationship. Do I need to create a problem for this escort, a struggling graduate student, who may rely on this agency for some of his income? In other words, is feedback appropriate in this case?

[corndog]

The issue I really have is: should I contact the agency?

 

In my opinion, you should absolutely contact the agency. The #1 reason (perhaps the only reason) to hire through an agency is to ensure a consistent, no-hassle experience from a vetted escort. That's what the agency is paid for. How can they do their job if they don't get this kind of feedback? They may be totally unaware that this escort tends to reschedule appointments that they've set up.

 

When contacting them, I would also emphasize the positive aspects of your experiences, and be careful not to seem "outraged" or like a complainer. If they're professionals, they'll be able to counsel the escort, and help him become a more reliable and successful person.

[+ azdr0710]

When contacting them, I would also emphasize the positive aspects of your experiences, and be careful not to seem "outraged" or like a complainer.

 

this is always good advice....remember when "Assertiveness Training" was all the rage back in the 70s??!!!.....this reminded me of that.....surround your concern with some positives and don't sound like some screaming maniac (which sometimes indicates a need for self-validation)....stay professional.....

[BaronArtz]

Thank you for the advice, 'Corndog' and 'azdr0710'. I always try to be tactful, no matter what happens. I have a good professional relationship with the owner/manager of the agency and I would like to keep it this way. After all, he HAS provided me with very reliable escorts in the past. I would like this to continue ...

 

I hope I didn't come across as 'outraged' in the above description of what happened. I was genuinely disappointed of course, but also curious as to what the explanation might be, so that I learn something as well.

[corndog]

I hope I didn't come across as 'outraged' in the above description of what happened.

 

No, you didn't come across outraged at all; I was just speaking in general terms, not about you in particular. I think that your account of what happened was very factual and straight-forward, and I considered suggesting that you just forward it to your contact at the agency. If you have a relationship with the agency as a repeat client, that's all the more reason to give them the feedback... your input will be regarded highly as an established repeat client. If I were operating the agency, I would offer you a discount on a future engagement, not so much as an apology for your less-than-perfect experience, but as a "thank you" for the valuable feedback.

[Diverdan]

I agree that giving straight forward feedback to the agency is very important, especially since you are a long term client. I have on occasion given feedback directly to an escort or masseur, usually not when I am leaving, but in a note, back to them later that day or the next day. I have never failed to get a "thank you" back from the person. That feedback can be as simple as a compliment on the session, or a more detailed comment about what he might do different on our next time together. As a result, I have one guy that I am only able to see about once a year because of my travel schedule, but he so appreciated the feedback from our first time together, he never fails to give me 90 minutes for the price of 60. I have yet to have a negative experience as a result of the feedback I have given, but maybe I have just been lucky.

[gallahadesquire]

That's a very timely question. When I have a great experience, I always say that to the escort at the end of a session, and tip well. I sometimes follow up with a 'thank you note' type of email. Luckily, I have had very few negative experiences. Until last week. Here is what happened: I hired a well-reviewed escort three times through a well-known agency that I have worked with it in the past.

 

The first time, the appointment was on a Saturday 11:00 a.m. - confirmed by the agency. I show up at the guy's place precisely on time, there was no answer. I wait 10 minutes, ring the door bell again, the guy is there. He is showered, he looks hot, it was a fun session. But I had the distinct impression he had over-slept and I had just woken him up. Nevertheless, a great experience.

 

The second time, I hire the same escort again, through the same agency. Timing confirmed on a Friday 02:00 p.m. The escort (who now has my email) contacts me directly and asks to change time and date. Since this was requested on the day before the appointment, it was not a problem to change. I show up, the guy is ready, the session was fun, but a bit less intense than the first one. I felt a bit 'rushed out the door' after 45 minutes. I decide to say nothing to the agency.

 

The third time, same escort, same agency, Friday 04:00 p.m. appointment, confirmed by agency. I confirm separately with the escort, asking that if he needs to change to give me some notice. I show up at 04:00 p.m., there is no answer. At 04:01 p.m. there is a text message from the escort - he is running 20 minutes late, please wait for me at the nearby park. I am fine with it. It is NYC after all, traffic can be horrendous. I meet the escort on the street at 04:20 p.m., he says he is really too tired to do a session. Can we please reschedule for the next day? I found his attitude about it a bit 'smug', I am disappointed, but I don't want to insist on having a session with him if he is going to be too tired. A few hours later I send him a message saying that (1) sure we can reschedule and (2) if you think I am not the right type of client for you, please say so and let's move on. Now a week later, no answer. I read this as the escort wasn't really into me to begin with and is not interested in having repeat appointments with me. Which is fine, I think it's good to know that. No need to spend $300 on a potentially mechanical performance.

 

I will not send another email to the escort asking about 'what happened' because that would show excessive eagerness from my side. The issue I really have is: should I contact the agency? On one hand, yes, they need to know how the escort handled the situation - the session did not take place, after all. On the other hand, this could seriously upset the agency/escort relationship. Do I need to create a problem for this escort, a struggling graduate student, who may rely on this agency for some of his income? In other words, is feedback appropriate in this case?

 

In my opinion, and I am unanimous in this, is that the Agency in question boot the fellow from their doorstep. His behaviour is inexcusable, and the unsuspecting public should not be exposed to him.

[scottspearsxxx]

Escorting is my profession so if I am doing something that would prevent another appointment I would certainly like to know and follow through and correct the situation. I think positive reinforcement feedback is always appreciated. I strive to give the best service possible. Hugs and tugs... Scott

[BaronArtz]

In my opinion, and I am unanimous in this, is that the Agency in question boot the fellow from their doorstep. His behaviour is inexcusable, and the unsuspecting public should not be exposed to him.

 

That may be a bit too 'harsh' ... the fellow in question is a handsome young man who performs well - provided you can actually get to an appointment with him. I am sure he will take feedback into account and schedule his life a bit better.

 

Thank you everybody for the advice. I did contact the agency with what they will hopefully view as constructive feedback. I look forward to working with the agency in the future.

[armadillo]

Constructive feedback should welcomed in any business, from haberdashery to hooking.

[+ Socalguy]

That may be a bit too 'harsh' ... the fellow in question is a handsome young man who performs well - provided you can actually get to an appointment with him. I am sure he will take feedback into account and schedule his life a bit better.

 

Thank you everybody for the advice. I did contact the agency with what they will hopefully view as constructive feedback. I look forward to working with the agency in the future.

 

Please let us know how they respond. As Corndog pointed out, the reason for going through an agency is to avoid this hassle so it will be interesting to see how they handle it.

[BaronArtz]

Sure. As you know, I sent an email to the escort a few hours after he cancelled appointment #3, asking whether he wanted reschedule or whether he would rather not. Now a week later, this email was not responded to. Encouraged by comments on this board, I contacted the agency yesterday, via email.

 

The agency responded the same day saying that (1) they were sorry I had those experiences, I was a valued client; (2) they were grateful that I expressed an interest in continuing working with them in the future; (3) that the escort had in fact sent in a commission payment for appointment #3 and that, therefore, they had assumed everything had gone OK - they were not aware the escort had cancelled the meeting last minute; and (4) that while the escort had received stellar reviews from clients for a long time, within the last month, another client had complained about the service: it was not a 'bad' experience, just a so-so experience. The agency said that the burn-out rate in this business is high. They will contact the escort and discuss whether he feels the agency should still represent him.

 

I have thanked them for getting back to me. I also mentioned that this is by no means a one-way street and that if they feel there is anything I can do, or need to be aware of to improve the overall experience for everybody, to please tell me.

 

Overall, I think the agency handled it very well. The issue of burn-out is rarely mentioned, but probably totally accurate. Very few guys have longevity in this business.

[jawjateck]

Since your agency is able to process constructive (non-positive) feedback, it sounds like you have a good relationship with them, and they are professionals. Many people have egos that cannot handle nor learn from criticism.

[Steven_Draker]