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Adam4Adam; Grindr; Growlr


rocky
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Hello adam people. I always seem to come with a question that is frequently ignored; but I hope not this time. So let me tell you when I get on Adam4Adam, or Grindr or Growlr (for us bears looking for chasers); why do I post. Well, seriously I post to hopefully hook up, meet for a beverage but yes, I hope mutual satisfaction to follow. No I'm seeing some hostile postings on these sites like: I'm happily partnered, don't respond if you just want sex, just looking around...or I'm married not looking for sex just looking, etc, etc. Well I'm sorry; if you're posting to these sites my thought is that you're looking more than coffee and a danish. Am I wrong, and please tell me if I am, I'd love to hear from others. No, I often say if someone contacts me, that doesn't happen frequently, that we must meet up first and get to know each other, but we go from there. If I am narrow minded all you out there, tell me..Rocky

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I think most people are looking for more than coffee and danish. However, guys new to the scene often need to the test the waters before actually agreeing to meet. Some never get enough nerve to meet.

 

However, there is also probably a group a guys wanting to meet without any mutual satisfaction. There doesn't seem to be a site for that type of engagement, so A4A and other sites tend to be the best alternative.

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There are all types of guys looking for all types of activities on A4A, Grindr, Growlr, etc. In my experience, the majority are looking for sex. However, there are guys who just want to find friends. Although I would not classify many of those ads as being hostile, I typically don't reply to ads that start with the word "don't." A better way to phrase it is "Looking for friends, not for sex," etc.

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I think that a lot of guys are looking but they posture themselves as not really looking so that they can control the selection process. They've established a preemptive "no". If you hit up one of these guys he can ignore or he doesn't have to try too hard to blow you off because his reason is established. If someone hits him up and he's interested then that guy becomes the exception he's willing to consider. If he sees a hot guy online he can reach out to that guy as an exception as well.

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Yes, and there are those who never commit to anything concrete, like meeting in person.

 

I think most of the guys there are either chit-chatting or sticking strictly to "virtual".[/color]

 

I think Steven hit the target here. I can't tell you how many come-ons I've received but when push comes to shove (I'm too tired to come up with a sexual pun there, but use your imagination, lol), nada. And that's after they give me their cell # to boot, and might even text back and forth a bit. I think many of the more legit dating sites are like that, too. Many people prefer their anonymity on some level, hiding behind computer and mobile screens. And after all, with soooo many delectable fish in the cyber-sea, why commit to salmon when you might decide you prefer trout?

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I can only say I had two hookups Friday. Mornjng guy from manhunt evening guy from Mister. They weren't there for chit chat and neither was I.

 

HA! This gave me a chuckle. I had a profile on manhunt for awhile, I think I gave up too soon. ;)

the greatest beauty is

Organic wholeness, the wholeness of life and things,

the divine beauty of the universe.

Love that, not man apart from that,

or else you will share man’s pitiful confusions,

or drown in despair when his days darken."

 

- Robinson Jeffers

 

B e l i e v e

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HA! This gave me a chuckle. I had a profile on manhunt for awhile, I think I gave up too soon. ;)

 

Didn't Manhunt transition to a policy where profile pics were mandatory, and at least one pic had to be public? When I was on Manhunt there were a lot of guys with either no pic or all private pics, which is the case for A4A currently. I think that such a policy might help an online "dating" site by screening out the guys that want to hide behind fake stats.

 

I believe that there are a lot of guys who idly surf the profiles with little ambition to meet. What little engagement they get in the form of chat and discussion about a possible hookup is enough for them. It's minimally satisfying, but there's no risk of disappointment. Blind profiles help to facilitate this behavior.

 

Of course it's easy enough to create a fake profile with stolen pics. Sometimes I get a bit of amusement out of using Google Images search to shake out all the A4A guys with fake profiles. The absurd sources are even more brazen than the fake escort ads we see.

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When I was on Manhunt, I honestly can't remember if a profile pic was mandatory or not. Thinking back, you might be correct, it is possible that some profiles didn't have pics. But my contact was only with those that did. I never really got the impression that people where there just to chat, and not looking for a real hookup. A few of the guys definitely pursued a meet-n-greet. And I must say that of those that I met, their pics were all accurate, all of them very nice, but in the end, I just didn't find a connection, and subsequently I just moved on.

the greatest beauty is

Organic wholeness, the wholeness of life and things,

the divine beauty of the universe.

Love that, not man apart from that,

or else you will share man’s pitiful confusions,

or drown in despair when his days darken."

 

- Robinson Jeffers

 

B e l i e v e

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