The young-uns

[gallahadesquire]

I've noticed a particularly odd psychological response:

 

It's been summer, so the High School and College kids, furthermore known as "The Kids", have been at my gym.

I'm sure that our August Membership is familiar with the specie: 20-ish; Straight; Built with a capital "B".

 

I have incidentally noticed that I find these "rats" uninteresting, sexually. Considering that they were

previously my creme de la creme, I find something wrong.

 

The forty-something fellow, who had a swimsuit that left little to the imagination (at least, posteriorly) was

far more interesting.

 

What's going on? My brain says that I should lust after the young-uns; but I find myself finding them more

meat-head than interesting. Fortunately, my Personal Trainer has brains (an MS in excercise physiology)

and is a MAJOR foodie. It makes for interesting sessions.

 

My point [since I knwo you're asking] is: Why has my psyche moved from young / hot / built / brain-dead

to older / working hard / interesting? Or have I just answered my own question?

[adriano46]

Ah Gallahadesquire, I noticed this in my own tastes about 5 years ago, moving away from the "Bel Ami" type to something more -- ummm - mature, aged, and experienced. Now I might look at a 20-something in a gym, but my interest is more into the guy in his 30's, 40's (and even 50's) who is still carrying a 32"-24" waist, nicely worked out chest and arms, and even has a little salt and pepper in the hair. I find that the quick romp for an hour is no longer as satisfying as a more lingering 2- or more hour encounter with a MAN, who is - as you so wisely said - older/working hard/and interesting.

[MFLV]

I feel the same. I am much more interested in a 40 or 50 year old that is on good shape. I've always found myself attracted to this age group. They are my eye candy and I think that group is better in bed. Glad to hear others feel the same. Well just about to walk into the gym so hopefully so middle age eye candy will be there !

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I'm very much the same - 30-50 tend to catch my attention. Although a pair of sparkling eyes will always catch my attention.

[bigvalboy]

I feel differently. I say bring on the "young-uns"....The first guy I hired 40+ years ago and the first guy I had sex with were both mid to late 20's, and had beautiful muscled bodies. I have not changed my taste in all those years. I don't hire to discuss the state of the world, I hire to satisfy sexual desires. Give me that 20 something tight beautiful gym body any day of the week.

[whipped guy]

I feel differently. I say bring on the "young-uns"....The first guy I hired 40+ years ago and the first guy I had sex with were both mid to late 20's, and had beautiful muscled bodies. I have not changed my taste in all those years. I don't hire to discuss the state of the world, I hire to satisfy sexual desires. Give me that 20 something tight beautiful gym body any day of the week.

 

Even though I have said that the brain is the largest and most important sexual organ... Remember the immortal words of Al Bundy:

Hooters! Hooters! Yum! Yum! Yum! Hooters! Hooters! On a girl that's dumb!

 

In our case the paraphrase of those wise words would be...

 

Pecs! Pecs! Pecs! Yum! Yum! Yum! Pecs! Pecs! Pecs! On a guy that's dumb!

 

And even a few other body parts as well!! Now if the guy is erudite... Heck that's a bonus... but you can't always have the whole enchilada!

 

There is a time and place for everything! At times one can't quite relate to someone that's... to quote Judge Judy... "HALF BAKED"... and most guys under 30 are indeed not all there... BUT if given the opportunity I'm going for it!

[bigvalboy]

Even though I have said that the brain is the largest and most important sexual organ... Remember the immortal words of Al Bundy:

Hooters! Hooters! Yum! Yum! Yum! Hooters! Hooters! On a girl that's dumb!

 

In our case the paraphrase of those wise words would be...

 

Pecs! Pecs! Pecs! Yum! Yum! Yum! Pecs! Pecs! Pecs! On a guy that's dumb!

 

And even a few other body parts as well!! Now if the guy is erudite... Heck that's a bonus... but you can't always have the whole enchilada!

 

There is a time and place for everything! At times one can't quite relate to someone that's... to quote Judge Judy... "HALF BAKED"... and most guys under 30 are indeed not all there... BUT if given the opportunity I'm going for it!

 

LOL...words of wisdom WG, and who doesn't like Judge Judy, but like you said, "if given the opportunity I'm going for it" AND besides, I ain't that smart, I'm more like Al Bundy, I had to look up "erudite" I anxiously await the day when we can sit face to face and break bread together. Until then, have a great Labor Day my friend!!

[wisconsinguy]

Even though I have said that the brain is the largest and most important sexual organ... Remember the immortal words of Al Bundy:

Hooters! Hooters! Yum! Yum! Yum! Hooters! Hooters! On a girl that's dumb!

 

In our case the paraphrase of those wise words would be...

 

Pecs! Pecs! Pecs! Yum! Yum! Yum! Pecs! Pecs! Pecs! On a guy that's dumb!

 

And even a few other body parts as well!! Now if the guy is erudite... Heck that's a bonus... but you can't always have the whole enchilada!

 

There is a time and place for everything! At times one can't quite relate to someone that's... to quote Judge Judy... "HALF BAKED"... and most guys under 30 are indeed not all there... BUT if given the opportunity I'm going for it!

Good Morning WG! I totally understand the draw to an older fellow. When I spent months going over profiles and reviews it was the older gents that I kept coming back to. Perhaps that I jumped into the "game" later in life has something to do with it. But, having someone who takes care of himself, is a foodie, has interest in the world, is respectful of people and ME, is totally the sexy package! In addition is erudite on a number of issues! As someone said, not that I don't like to look at all young eye candy, but even in a crowd, my eyes will wonder to the above 40 group. Hope ya all are having a great and safe weekend.

[rvwnsd]

I've always found guys who are in their 30's and 40's to be more attractive than those who are in their 20's. There have been 20-somethings who I've found attractive. They tend to be the guys who do not fit the twink or pretty-boy stereotype.

 

I'm curious, though, about the motivation for describing these guys as "meat-head," "rats," "brain-dead" and implying that they are not working hard or interesting. The twenty-something in the condo downstairs from me, who is a hottie, explained lighting theory to me one afternoon and the artist I hooked up with yesterday talked about everything from the care and feeding of cats (we were in complete agreement) to keeping his apartment cool without using the AC to proper spelling, grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. He is also quite sexy and built. There are interesting and uninteresting people within all age groups. You just have to take an interest in finding the interesting ones.

[+ quoththeraven]

I have an avatar/icon that says "Intelligence: The Ultimate Aphrodisiac." I'm more likely to find it in those who are closer to my age (*cough cough, late 50s, if anyone cares*). Empty-headedness is a turnoff to me; physical beauty is nice and all, and a plus -- don't get me wrong -- but intelligence, emotional maturity, common interests and values, a compatible personality, and a healthy lifestyle (meaning I don't need to make sure the other person takes care of him or herself) are far more important in the long run.

 

This may strike you as expecting too much. I've learned that this is what I need to be happy in the long run. Anything less and it's a matter of fun times and friendship but nothing more, emotionally speaking.

 

Gender is a consideration as well. Intergenerational relationships between older men and younger women or men are more socially acceptable than those between older women and younger men, in part because of the stereotype that an older man is still raring to go and looking to recaputure his youth with a younger lover and has reason to expect -- in fact, is deserving of such attention -- by virtue of his success in business, life, and the like (and, to be frank, because he's male. Yes, I'm a cynical feminist.)

 

There's another factor as well besides societal attitudes that older women in relationships with younger men are looking for boytoys, to be laughed at, desperate, or otherwise outside the norm when the attitude toward older men in relationships with younger women OR men is congratulatory. (It seems like older women wind up in relationships with hot younger women so infrequently that there's no real stereotype about it.) I'm skeeved by the prospect of a relationship with someone who's not that much older than my twenty year old daughter. It's bad enough to be with people who are enough younger than me that I was old enough to give birth myself when they were born. And maybe that's why we don't have a stereotype of an older woman with a younger woman; it would seem too much like a familial relationship, and thus implicitly violate the taboo on incestuous relationships. Why this applies to women when it doesn't to men, I'm not sure, but it may have to do with the fact that it's women who carry babies to term and give birth to them, thus making the implicitly incestuous nature of intergenerational romance more evident.

 

Hey, way to make it all about me! But that's where I'm coming from.

[+ Funguy]

Good Morning WG! I totally understand the draw to an older fellow. When I spent months going over profiles and reviews it was the older gents that I kept coming back to. Perhaps that I jumped into the "game" later in life has something to do with it. But, having someone who takes care of himself, is a foodie, has interest in the world, is respectful of people and ME, is totally the sexy package! In addition is erudite on a number of issues! As someone said, not that I don't like to look at all young eye candy, but even in a crowd, my eyes will wonder to the above 40 group. Hope ya all are having a great and safe weekend.

 

Good morning, both WG's.

I'm with WG on this - ha ha - the one I quote here! I have always been attracted much more to the "older" (believe me, now it's relative) guy with a bit of salt and pepper, who has kept himself in great shape. Even when, years ago, they were older than me! An no, it's not a Daddy Complex. When I was 30, I'd go for the 40ish; at 60+ I still go for that 40-50's guy with the great body and great mind. Besides, his, um, "pecs", have been pre-tested and easy to work with! That is not to say that those "young uns" don't require some thorough looking over but when all is said and done, feet up and a glass of wine to start, Mr. 40's+ gets me every time.

 

I think I said a while back, in one of JAG's impossibly sensational collections, it's very interesting to see who likes which pix. So JAG, more of the men over 40 please!

 

They keep me a

 

Funguy

[+ FreshFluff]

I have an avatar/icon that says "Intelligence: The Ultimate Aphrodisiac." I'm more likely to find it in those who are closer to my age (*cough cough, late 50s, if anyone cares*). Empty-headedness is a turnoff to me; physical beauty is nice and all, and a plus -- don't get me wrong -- but intelligence, emotional maturity, common interests and values, a compatible personality, and a healthy lifestyle (meaning I don't need to make sure the other person takes care of him or herself) are far more important in the long run.

 

 

Intelligence and accomplishment attract me on the same primal level that appearance attract many men. Many men don't understand this. They ask, don't you ever see a ramdom hot guy and just want to do him? No, I'm not, any more than a straight man is driven to "do" some random heiress when he meets one.

 

 

Gender is a consideration as well. Intergenerational relationships between older men and younger women or men are more socially acceptable than those between older women

 

True.

 

 

IMO, it's the first more that the second. Some guys without material success believe they deserve to attract young women, but for the most part, but they, society expects them to be laughed at when they try.

[+ deej]

Intelligence and accomplishment attract me on the same primal level that appearance attract many men. Many men don't understand this. They ask, don't you ever see a ramdom hot guy and just want to do him? No, I'm not, any more than a straight man is driven to "do" some random heiress when he meets one.

 

On the other hand, to quote Joan Rivers, "No man ever stuck his hand up a girl's skirt looking for a library card."

 

The rules of attraction are varied and change over time, but the only thing that's certain is that nothing is certain.

[whipped guy]

Good morning, both WG's.

I'm with WG on this - ha ha - the one I quote here! I have always been attracted much more to the "older" (believe me, now it's relative) guy with a bit of salt and pepper, who has kept himself in great shape. Even when, years ago, they were older than me! An no, it's not a Daddy Complex. When I was 30, I'd go for the 40ish; at 60+ I still go for that 40-50's guy with the great body and great mind. Besides, his, um, "pecs", have been pre-tested and easy to work with! That is not to say that those "young uns" don't require some thorough looking over but when all is said and done, feet up and a glass of wine to start, Mr. 40's+ gets me every time.

 

I think I said a while back, in one of JAG's impossibly sensational collections, it's very interesting to see who likes which pix. So JAG, more of the men over 40 please!

 

They keep me a

 

Funguy

 

On the other hand, to quote Joan Rivers, "No man ever stuck his hand up a girl's skirt looking for a library card."

 

The rules of attraction are varied and change over time, but the only thing that's certain is that nothing is certain.

Well... If given the opportunity... I would most certainly go for the young stud! However, when reality is factored into the equation, push comes to shove, and one must make a decision when hiring so as to spend their time and money wisely I usually end up going for the over thirty types. In fact many of the escorts I hire overtly advertise as late thirties. Of course in escort years that translates to somewhere between 40 and 50... and possibly even beyond... Big LOL about that one... Even in the world of bodybuilding it has been said that it is over thirty when a guy is really at his best. Indeed the average age of Mr. Olympia winners is about 34.

 

In any event, I still stand by my statement that the brain is the largest and most important sexual organ... And if a young-un has both brains and brawn all the more that I'm joining in on the party...

 

Still, as deej rightfully notes, things can change and nothing is certain. I'm currently in a bring "on the young-uns Al Bundy" phase (see my post about that above)... and being a card carrying member of MENSA ain't a prerequisite... Though being a member of MENSA's little known sexual prowess division would certainly help... It definitely helps when one has an certain intellect and understanding regarding such matters...

[nate_sf]

Though I have a very wide range of guys I'm attracted to, like others here I've always been particularly drawn to guys in their 30s/40s/50s. That's still the case even as I have reached that age group myself. It's not about the intelligence or experience (unless it's subconscious) - it's purely physical. If I was looking at a rack of porn mags, I'll reach first for the one featuring the older guy. He'll first catch my attention at the gym too.

 

But to touch on the other question the OP was asking, has something changed? I've found as I've gotten older lots and lots of things I find sexy and turn me on have changed and evolved, and keep changing. And I say thank goodness! When I was younger I wondered how sex could stay interesting once you've got the basic mechanics figured out, which is sort of a grim outlook since things would get stale pretty fast. But fortunately there seem to be new experiences and discoveries around every corner, and I'm surprised what (or who) might turn me on today that wouldn't have even a few years ago. So there is something to look forward to!

 

But I'll also come to the defense of the younger guys. In my day job I've worked with some remarkably attractive and smart guys fresh out of college and just had to say to myself "oh my." When a guy is young, attractive, smart and has his whole world in front of him it can even be a bit intimidating to those of us doing our mid-life assessments. And I've just started working out with a 22-year-old trainer and he is loads of fun to talk to, anything but a meathead.

[wisconsinguy]

Though I have a very wide range of guys I'm attracted to, like others here I've always been particularly drawn to guys in their 30s/40s/50s. That's still the case even as I have reached that age group myself. It's not about the intelligence or experience (unless it's subconscious) - it's purely physical. If I was looking at a rack of porn mags, I'll reach first for the one featuring the older guy. He'll first catch my attention at the gym too.

 

But to touch on the other question the OP was asking, has something changed? I've found as I've gotten older lots and lots of things I find sexy and turn me on have changed and evolved, and keep changing. And I say thank goodness! When I was younger I wondered how sex could stay interesting once you've got the basic mechanics figured out, which is sort of a grim outlook since things would get stale pretty fast. But fortunately there seem to be new experiences and discoveries around every corner, and I'm surprised what (or who) might turn me on today that wouldn't have even a few years ago. So there is something to look forward to!

 

But I'll also come to the defense of the younger guys. In my day job I've worked with some remarkably attractive and smart guys fresh out of college and just had to say to myself "oh my." When a guy is young, attractive, smart and has his whole world in front of him it can even be a bit intimidating to those of us doing our mid-life assessments. And I've just started working out with a 22-year-old trainer and he is loads of fun to talk to, anything but a meathead.

Nate, Very intuitive and wise. Plain talk...when I considered my first encounter, (I hate hire), I never considered a younger encounter as a "meat head." I was looking for a person who was honest, bright, and sexy, simple. If that would have a been a 20 something guy, great. I simply migrated to an individual who was all that I was looking for who was a bit older. One last time. It's due to I entered the scene "older." I have been very fortunate in my initial choice and decisions.

[gallahadesquire]

The twenty-something in the condo downstairs from me, who is a hottie, explained lighting theory to me one afternoon and the artist I hooked up with yesterday talked about everything from the care and feeding of cats (we were in complete agreement) to keeping his apartment cool without using the AC to proper spelling, grammar, punctuation, and capitalization.

 

I'm glad to see your a proponent of the Oxford comma!

[gallahadesquire]

But I'll also come to the defense of the younger guys. In my day job I've worked with some remarkably attractive and smart guys fresh out of college and just had to say to myself "oh my." When a guy is young, attractive, smart and has his whole world in front of him it can even be a bit intimidating to those of us doing our mid-life assessments. And I've just started working out with a 22-year-old trainer and he is loads of fun to talk to, anything but a meathead.

 

My attraction to and confusion by a previous personal trainer was discussed elsewhere. Germane to this conversation is that I thought he was 32+, and he was 27. And had a brain: BS in kinesiology.

My second physical trainer is even more educated: 32, BS and MS in exercise physiology, and a knowledge of the human musculoskeletal system that is encyclopedic.

 

To quote Leslie Winkle of The Big Bang Theory: Come for the breasts, stay for the brains.

[+ FreshFluff]

Though I have a very wide range of guys I'm attracted to, like others here I've always been particularly drawn to guys in their 30s/40s/50s. That's still the case even as I have reached that age group myself. It's not about the intelligence or experience (unless it's subconscious) - it's purely physical. If I was looking at a rack of porn mags, I'll reach first for the one featuring the older guy. He'll first catch my attention at the gym too.

 

But to touch on the other question the OP was asking, has something changed? I've found as I've gotten older lots and lots of things I find sexy and turn me on have changed and evolved, and keep changing. And I say thank goodness! When I was younger I wondered how sex could stay interesting once you've got the basic mechanics figured out, which is sort of a grim outlook since things would get stale pretty fast. But fortunately there seem to be new experiences and discoveries around every corner, and I'm surprised what (or who) might turn me on today that wouldn't have even a few years ago. So there is something to look forward to!

 

But I'll also come to the defense of the younger guys. In my day job I've worked with some remarkably attractive and smart guys fresh out of college and just had to say to myself "oh my." When a guy is young, attractive, smart and has his whole world in front of him it can even be a bit intimidating to those of us doing our mid-life assessments. And I've just started working out with a 22-year-old trainer and he is loads of fun to talk to, anything but a meathead.

 

I agree in that, if everything else were equal, I'd go for the older guy. Grey hair, for example. is totally hot in and of itself. But I wouldn't be attracted for long if the brain inside wasn't well developed.

 

And I know a lot of people in their early 20s who are highly intelligent and anything but meatheads.

[Traveler North]

Been with guys in 20s, 30s and 40s. Frankly prefer guys in 30s and 40s. They are my regulars, are more mature and sex with them is hotter than guys in their 20s. I like more experienced guys who are easy to converse with on a variety of subjects as well as hot, hot in bed.

[justaguy]

The younger guys, for me, make great eye-candy. But when it comes to getting my motor running, it's usually a guy in their 30's or 40's. When I see the laugh lines, I think character, someone who knows what he's doing, wil be fun, and won't feel any need to play games. I know that guys in their 20's can also have those qualities. It just seems that it easier to find an older guy with them.

[jawjateck]

Agree with the consensus, maturity rocks and is super sexy. Love a guy who has been kicked around by life, come through it victoriously, and is seasoned, tempered. That's hot. Nothing worse than the whiny, fault-finding types who hate the world, victim, victim, victim, never able to face reality, never take responsibility for anything. ughhhh....

 

There are rare exceptions. For example, a 19 yo buff boy I met this summer. Lacks life experience. Hasn't been tested and refined yet. But masculine, deep manly voice, intelligent, goal-oriented, enrolled in a good school, and great conversation. His beautiful smile and rock-hard gym-bod help too.

[wisconsinguy]

Agree with the consensus, maturity rocks and is super sexy. Love a guy who has been kicked around by life, come through it victoriously, and is seasoned, tempered. That's hot. Nothing worse than the whiny, fault-finding types who hate the world, victim, victim, victim, never able to face reality, never take responsibility for anything. ughhhh....

 

There are rare exceptions. For example, a 19 yo buff boy I met this summer. Lacks life experience. Hasn't been tested and refined yet. But masculine, deep manly voice, intelligent, goal-oriented, enrolled in a good school, and great conversation. His beautiful smile and rock-hard gym-bod help too.

jawjateck...u would really adore me! Totally fit your criteria!

[gallahadesquire]

The perps in question are the high schoolers and college kids who haven't had to work a day in their life. Got the car on their 16th birthday. Don't have

to worry about anything because Mommy and Daddy are always there. [At least the 'rents aren't Daddums and Mumsy]. But you get the idea.

 

And listening to them speak! We were discussing Chaucer at that age, not the proper way to do a superset of triceps crunches.

[jawjateck]

jawjateck...u would really adore me! Totally fit your criteria!

 

What the heck? You're 19, gym-built, and have a smile that makes me melt??? Get your sexy self down to Dixie!