An escort that is too tired to perform?

[Edward]

Should you pay an escort that is to tired to get wood? Should you just not pay him, pay him part of his fee, or pay him his whole fee?

[nynakedtop]

Hmmm.... not to be harsh, but - perhaps he should pay you for wasting your time?

[TruHart1]

Should you pay an escort that is to tired to get wood? Should you just not pay him, pay him part of his fee, or pay him his whole fee?

 

I could not say without a doubt it was due to the escort being too tired, but this has happened only twice with me. One escort was a highly well-reviewed man I’d already hired successfully a number of times. That entire experience was just a mistake (bad timing) on both our parts. I always think I will give him another chance but so far, when I think about trying again with him, I cannot, even though all the times we spent previous to the bad experience were very good.

 

In the other instance, the escort had many excellent reviews on Daddy’s. He was great in the planning and logistics of setting our appointment, even great to talk with on the phone, but when we got together, I felt he must have found me unattractive since he couldn’t function sexually with me. I found him to be an extremely likeable person – I think he would make a great platonic friend. Unfortunately I don’t pay escorts for being likeable only. I should add that sometimes it just amazes me that there are so many hot professionals who are able to make me feel that I am actually sexually attractive to them during our appointments. My self-esteem has improved immensely because of this.

 

I know from my own previous experiences with him that the first is a very fine escort and reading the many excellent reviews of the other escort convinces me that it has to be me who failed in some way or another to connect sexually with him. I did pay them both their full fees for these failed sessions but I will definitely never hire the second escort again and it seems the likelihood of hiring the first escort again gets more and more remote as time passes. Additionally though, I did not and do not feel the need to submit a bad review in either case. The failure of both these particular hires must in part be blamed on myself, so a negative review would really serve no purpose.

 

TruHart1

[JoeyBryant]

Should you pay an escort that is to tired to get wood? Should you just not pay him, pay him part of his fee, or pay him his whole fee?

 

I can't give a precise answer on it, but it would have to do with the circumstances. Are you sure the guy is too tired, or is there something else that may be causing it? Perhaps....something in your control?

 

I find when guys are pushy, try to get me to rush over to them in an unreasonable amount of time, or make me feel like I don't deserve the rate i ask for....Mr. happy ain't happy. Even if he hasn't had any in days.

 

I know this doesn't quite answer your question, but it's worth getting to the root of the issue. 'Tired' isn't the best adjective to use when referring to why someone's 'wood' isn't woody. The same guy who is too 'tired' to get hard, will happily pull out his dick after a 12 hour day at work and use it on someone...meanwhile, skipping all the important chores. That same guy will also fuck a guy 2 hours straight 1 day, and do another the very next day. As if the night before didn't tire him out.

[Bart]

Joey thank you for ignoring the question and trying to make the poster feel shame for asking a simple question.

Lets take the poster at face value and for the moment assume the gentleman in question actually said he was "too tired." Whether it was an excuse for lack of performance or not he claimed he was "too tired."

This is a tough call, I believe a true professional would say something like " I am sorry for this, could we reschedule?" If you had a pleasant enough time with the gentleman in question hopefully he would offer 1/2 off. If he says nothing and is assuming full pay, I probably would pay him and make sure everyone knew it too.

Look it is a customer service business.

Now if this was someone I met before and really liked I would definitely give the guy the benefit of the doubt, especially if the company is good. I have learned to appreciate the companionship portion of the meeting a lot more through the years.

However, first time meeting performance issues I am likely not to go back.

And Joey I don't rush guys that is why I book at least 2 hour appointments, next time try to post a helpful response instead of one that usually puts the client at fault.

I am just totally puzzled by someone who wants to put the issue on the client 100% of the time just why are you in this business.

Sorry but you caught me a crabby day. You have not had a positive thing to say about anything, don't you think we don't see this and feel it in your writing.

All you had to say was "From my perspective as an escort, if I showed and gave the effort I should get paid" if that is how you truly felt, rather than put the client on the defensive. But just remember you loose faith with community as a whole when you don't try to reach an amicable result. I guess that is just me.

Sorry Edward for my rant.

[JoeyBryant]

Sorry but you caught me a crabby day. You have not had a positive thing to say about anything, don't you think we don't see this and feel it in your writing.

 

Dude, what are you talking about? Get some permethrin cream for your crabs, and chill out. I'm not blaming the client. The poster only gave 1 vague sentence in his question.

 

Lets take the poster at face value and for the moment assume the gentleman in question actually said he was "too tired." Whether it was an excuse for lack of performance or not he claimed he was "too tired."

 

The reason why I suggested to look at other things, would be because it doesn't sound REALISTIC for an escort to say, "I'm tired, I can't get hard" or any variation. It sounds rude, crass, and nobody would say it unless they DIDN'T want to be there for some reason (again, assuming we're using that phrase verbatim, like you seem to believe). I'd take that as disinterest (whether it's a disinterest in looks, sex, whatever) and show them (or myself) the door. I've done it before. I've had it done to me before. But, we don't know if the poster is suggesting the escort is tired sexually or tired mentally. Neither one of us asked. That's why I didn't give an answer either way. Because he didn't elaborate, he should WELCOME any feedback he gets. Don't get in my way of giving it either.

 

This wasn't meant to suggest anything about the client's looks or behavior. I simply stated what I....again, I have experienced. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone on that one either. I'm not sure why you felt entitled to answer with your rebuttle to what I experienced, but it wasn't necessary. Besides, he 'asked an escort', he's going to get an escort's answer. I could easily say I wanted to be paid in full, but that's simply benefiting me, not the client. As far as the counter off you mentioned, that sounds like a good idea for the escort to offer...and it could work, assuming it was under the conditions you mentioned.

[LookingAround]

Dude, what are you talking about? Get some permethrin cream for your crabs, and chill out.

 

I'm not blaming the client. The poster only gave 1 vague sentence in his question. The reason why I suggested to look at other things, would be because it doesn't sound REALISTIC for an escort to say, "I'm tired, I can't get hard" or any variation. It sounds rude, crass, and nobody would say it. At-least not anyone worth their weight in salt...during an appointment. Because if I was paying, I'd tell them to get the fuck OUT. Unless they drove for 10-12 hours or flew for 5 or 6. But, we don't know if the poster is suggesting the escort is tired sexually or tired mentally. Neither one of us asked. That's why I didn't give an answer either way. Because he didn't elaborate, he should WELCOME any feedback he gets. Don't get in my way of giving it either.

 

This wasn't meant to suggest anything about the client's looks or behavior. I simply stated what I....again, I have experienced. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone on that one either. Besides, he 'asked an escort', he's going to get an escort's answer. I could easily say I wanted to be paid in full, but that's simply benefiting me, not the client. I'd think I'd get a little more fucking appreciation around this bitch, but clearly you're on some other shit. TGIF...

 

Bad response; I wouldn't hire you. Such childish wording and crass comments. "Get some permethrin cream for your crabs?"

[JoeyBryant]

Bad response; I wouldn't hire you. Such childish wording and crass comments. "Get some permethrin cream for your crabs?"

 

C'mon, you didn't find the humor in that? He said he was having a crabby day. It's Friday, laugh a little. Please.

[JoeyBryant]

I can't give a precise answer on it, but it would have to do with the circumstances. Are you sure the guy is too tired, or is there something else that may be causing it? Perhaps....something in your control?

 

OK, I'm going to quote myself here. Bart felt I made the client feel bad for 'shaming and blaming' him. No where did I ruin the OP's self esteem by saying 'something in your control'. Remember, sex is a 2 way street. Both parties have the right to ASK if the are excelling or failing during an encounter. I just don't see how that garnered such a bad reaction from someone.

 

People can talk all day about whether the escort should be paid for performing or not...But if I wanted to be a prude, I'd give the thread killing response of, "you're paying for time. sex for money is illegal. all services are for time only". Then, the thread would have been closed and no one would learn anything. Then what? You'd get mad at me for saying that too. But if I was really the horrible escort some of you make me out to believe, I'd ride on that statement all day long, under the guise of being 'tired', and be making mega bucks for doing absolutely nothing.

 

http://media1.giphy.com/media/wQiIWm0dXcfW8/200_s.gif

[+ Funguy]

I could not say without a doubt it was due to the escort being too tired, but this has happened only twice with me. One escort was a highly well-reviewed man I’d already hired successfully a number of times. That entire experience was just a mistake (bad timing) on both our parts. I always think I will give him another chance but so far, when I think about trying again with him, I cannot, even though all the times we spent previous to the bad experience were very good.

 

In the other instance, the escort had many excellent reviews on Daddy’s. He was great in the planning and logistics of setting our appointment, even great to talk with on the phone, but when we got together, I felt he must have found me unattractive since he couldn’t function sexually with me. I found him to be an extremely likeable person – I think he would make a great platonic friend. Unfortunately I don’t pay escorts for being likeable only. I should add that sometimes it just amazes me that there are so many hot professionals who are able to make me feel that I am actually sexually attractive to them during our appointments. My self-esteem has improved immensely because of this.

 

I know from my own previous experiences with him that the first is a very fine escort and reading the many excellent reviews of the other escort convinces me that it has to be me who failed in some way or another to connect sexually with him. I did pay them both their full fees for these failed sessions but I will definitely never hire the second escort again and it seems the likelihood of hiring the first escort again gets more and more remote as time passes. Additionally though, I did not and do not feel the need to submit a bad review in either case. The failure of both these particular hires must in part be blamed on myself, so a negative review would really serve no purpose.

 

TruHart1

 

Tru: Why, for heaven's sake, must you put this on yourself? You said that you and #1 have had successful meetings a number of times AND the entire experience was bad timing. Accept it for what it was. However, since this meet was someone you already have met with, IMHO no money or very discounted rate depending on what took place should have been offered by the escort. Without that, I would not give him another chance. That's HIS short-coming, NOT yours.

With #2, again the problem was with HIS performance. You have already proven that other guys (including, ironically, #1) are fine with you so #2 was having an off day - and there are many, many reasons for this, none of which involve you. Again, that he charged full fee is simply wrong.

Last, why not write reviews? Escorts are supposed to be professionals. They deal with all types, shapes, physical issues. If you were clean, neat, presentable, not high on drugs or alcohol, didn't smell - you get the idea! These guys have been reviewed many times and they crapped out here. That's what reviews are for.

 

Funguy

[cany10011]

I know it should be a given but sometimes it's difficult to get "hard" for a client. Especially if they are not attracted to him or if they've had a busy work schedule already. Personally, i don't really expect them to cum but do expect them to get hard and "seem" to at least enjoy themselves and perform as discussed a priori. However, i wouldn't punish them by not paying or only part of their fee, you are only paying for their companionship and if you "enjoyed" yourself i don't think there is anything else you should be concerned about.

 

 

 

Should you pay an escort that is to tired to get wood? Should you just not pay him, pay him part of his fee, or pay him his whole fee?

[actor61]

Bad response; I wouldn't hire you. Such childish wording and crass comments. "Get some permethrin cream for your crabs?"

 

I agree with you entirely. Joey's comments in this forum have been consistently arrogant, snotty and stupid over the past few months. I'm glad you took him on.

 

As for the lack of wood with an escort, I've had the same experience a couple of times. The guys were apologetic and pleasant and lowered their rates for the evening, which was considerate, but I never saw them again. Stuff happens. Escorts are human beings and if they can't get it up, it's disappointing and accommodations should be made for the client but I don't think either party should get angry or bitter about it.

 

I feel differently, though, when an escort refuses to cum. This has been discussed before so I won't belabor the point. But I still think that if you're paying $250 to $300 for a session and climaxing has been requested as part of the evening, then is withheld, the client has a right to be angry and to ask for a reduction in fee.

[+ ArVaGuy]

Posting from my iPhone so any typos or grammatical errors are courtesy of Apple.

 

I had a situation with a regular guy I'd hired for several years. Mostly our sessions were overnights as I'm based on the east coast and we'd meet when I was in his city for business. One overnight was particularly lackluster. The escort just did not perform anywhere near his usual professional level. After a rather perfunctory session we both drifted off to sleep. I was feeling rather dejected to say the least.

 

During the the night the escort had trouble sleeping. No this was not because I was molesting him all night either. He was clearly having a bad night to the point of grinding his teeth. Needless to say this kind of ruined my chance for some sleep. Early morning came and I remarked to him he'd not slept well at all and asked what's wrong. Then the floodgate opened and the guy told me of his issues affecting his performance and sleep.

 

Turns out out he was having a plethora of issues culminating at the same time. His partner was ill and had major medical bills. He was finishing grad school and completing his thesis. He was also having career doubts and wondered if he'd made a mistake with his degree choice. To make the situation even worse his estranged father was inserting himself into the young man's life causing all kinds of issues. The poor guy was simply over stressed by all these life events happening at the same time. No wonder his performance was not to his usual level.

 

We talked for two hours that morning. I offered any advice I could about what he was dealing with. Nothing he was experiencing was insurmountable. The tables kind of turned here. Often it's the escort who's listening to the client's Lamentations. Just having someone to talk to helped him a bit. We wound up playing some more and he was almost most back to the guy I'd first hired. I paid the agreed fee even though he wanted to knock some off for his performance.

 

I have continued to see him over the years and there's never been a similar circumstance with his performance. To the contrary he's better and better each time I see him. He survived his grad school career angst. His partner recovered. And he got his lousy father out of his life for good. And he's still a top rated escort.

 

 

I'm telling this story to bring another perspective to this issue. Often we clients focus too much on ourselves without remembering that escorts are just as human and have the same issues in life we all face.

[TruHart1]

Tru: Why, for heaven's sake, must you put this on yourself? You said that you and #1 have had successful meetings a number of times AND the entire experience was bad timing. Accept it for what it was. However, since this meet was someone you already have met with, IMHO no money or very discounted rate depending on what took place should have been offered by the escort. Without that, I would not give him another chance. That's HIS short-coming, NOT yours.

With #2, again the problem was with HIS performance. You have already proven that other guys (including, ironically, #1) are fine with you so #2 was having an off day - and there are many, many reasons for this, none of which involve you. Again, that he charged full fee is simply wrong.

Last, why not write reviews? Escorts are supposed to be professionals. They deal with all types, shapes, physical issues. If you were clean, neat, presentable, not high on drugs or alcohol, didn't smell - you get the idea! These guys have been reviewed many times and they crapped out here. That's what reviews are for.

 

Funguy

 

Fun, the specifics involved with my failed appointment with #1, which I will never get into on a public forum, DO place responsibility squarely on his and my shoulders pretty equally. We did not part that night on the best of terms. I did not make any kind of complaint or comment at the time to him regarding his lack of wood but he and I both ended up in defensive positions and further confrontation would only make the specific situation much worse. Basically he indicated I had failed to be a good client on numerous previous occasions but his accusations were specious from my POV and IMO, due to the bad timing of this particular appointment.

 

Once again, with #2, neither he nor I acknowledged the fact that he was unable to get hard. He did everything but that, including great French kissing, continuous body contact and bringing me to climax, though it all came off as a bit mechanical without his own excitement. We gave it the old college try, it failed to ignite. In the end, neither of us mentioned his inability to function and we parted amicably. I am not a complainer so I chalked it up to failure to connect, he was having a bad day or had been completely spent by his previous appointment(s) the night before.

 

I never complained about their performances to either escort as I hate confrontation with a passion and I actually hoped to bridge this incident with #1 eventually and hire him again. Though I was unhappy with my appointment with #2, I really liked the man himself so I did not want to ask for any adjustment to my fee. Truthfully I detest bargaining of any kind when hiring and would rather not see an escort at all than try to convince him to give me any refund for whatever reason. As for the reviews, I know it seems that those who base their hiring on the reviews deserve to know about these particular failed sessions with highly reviewed escorts.

 

However I think all it would do is put the escort on the defensive and be that one single negative review on their record which would likely be perceived as the review by a person who harbors resentment of that specific escort for personal reasons or is just out to try to destroy their reputation. If, indeed, (because I hope I have built a solid reputation for honest and insightful reviews so far) the escort was to lose client business because of my negative review, I do not want the responsibility of causing that to happen to either of these escorts. I refuse to be the cause of any loss of business when it is obvious to me that it is only due to circumstance that these interactions were failures.

 

TruHart1

[+ Funguy]

Tru - I get it about the reviews. NP

 

What I was wondering about was why, in your first post, you put this all on yourself ("I know from my own previous experiences with him that the first is a very fine escort and reading the many excellent reviews of the other escort convinces me that it has to be me who failed in some way or another to connect sexually with him.")

 

In your second post you do acknowledge that clearly it was, at the very least, both of you - not just you. Just wanted you to know that we all have our own insecurities but, more often than not, we magnify them in ourselves.

 

Best of luck

[TruHart1]

Tru - I get it about the reviews. NP

 

What I was wondering about was why, in your first post, you put this all on yourself ("I know from my own previous experiences with him that the first is a very fine escort and reading the many excellent reviews of the other escort convinces me that it has to be me who failed in some way or another to connect sexually with him.")

 

In your second post you do acknowledge that clearly it was, at the very least, both of you - not just you. Just wanted you to know that we all have our own insecurities but, more often than not, we magnify them in ourselves.

 

Best of luck

 

I thank you for your comments, Fun. Just one final quick response to your question: I tried to express in the first post that I am quite amazed at times how involved and ego-boosting it is to meet so many great escorts who make me feel that while I am with them I am the most desirable man to whom they have ever been attracted. My taking at least part of the blame for a session failure stems from the fact that I could never see myself attracted sexually to a person of my body-type or age. Therefore I feel I can never put all the blame on the escort those few failed times for feeling as I believe I would were our situation reversed.

 

TruHart1

[JoeyBryant]

Turns out out he was having a plethora of issues culminating at the same time. I'm telling this story to bring another perspective to this issue. Often we clients focus too much on ourselves without remembering that escorts are just as human and have the same issues in life we all face.

 

That's a great story, and an important facet to the whole issue. You can have the best piece of wood, be with the hottest client, and yet still not have it work if the mind isn't working. Putting aside age, operations and drugs that can affect wood, the MAIN reasons for it not working is mental, not physical. I think we've all been there. Luckily, there's accessible options on the market that can at least get the wood working...which seems to be the main question here.

 

In the case of an overnight, it's harder to hide those things as they are happening.

 

I agree with you entirely. Joey's comments in this forum have been consistently arrogant, snotty and stupid over the past few months. I'm glad you took him on.

 

Why, because you're not man enough to do it? Listen here chump, this is the 'ask an escort' section. Who the hell are you to come in here and disparage the advice of an escort, in the ASK AN ESCORT section? It's time to get back to the basics. Now, enough about me. Any additional opinions about what I post will be sent directly to the mods. You can talk to them about it because I'm NOT going to spend all day arguing with someone in my own section. There's like a dozen other sections where Joey does not post, being all of them except this one.

[Nvr2Thick]

I can't give a precise answer on it, but it would have to do with the circumstances. Are you sure the guy is too tired, or is there something else that may be causing it? Perhaps....something in your control?

 

I find when guys are pushy, try to get me to rush over to them in an unreasonable amount of time, or make me feel like I don't deserve the rate i ask for....Mr. happy ain't happy. Even if he hasn't had any in days.

 

I know this doesn't quite answer your question, but it's worth getting to the root of the issue. 'Tired' isn't the best adjective to use when referring to why someone's 'wood' isn't woody. The same guy who is too 'tired' to get hard, will happily pull out his dick after a 12 hour day at work and use it on someone...meanwhile, skipping all the important chores. That same guy will also fuck a guy 2 hours straight 1 day, and do another the very next day. As if the night before didn't tire him out.

 

A professional escort will recognize his limitations, and will recognize the types of clients and scenarios where he won't be able to perform. The root cause of the issue may be interesting to discuss, however, clients are paying for an experience. If an escort knows he won't be able to perform because he is tired, or because he doesn't respond well to being rushed, or because the client doesn't show respect for his dignity the escort shouldn't have proceeded with the meeting.

 

When I've been in this situation I've tried to reset the situation. I've asked what I can do to help get the escort turned on. Maybe we'd relax and talk for a bit, have a drink, explore his body with less intensity and pressure, try a different scenario or different type of play. This also helps to reinforce that I'm expecting him to get hard. If he's still not hard I'll say "I'm sorry that things aren't working out". I'll offer to cover parking or cab fare if he's at my hotel. If I'm at his place I'll try to politely and gracefully thank him and leave.

 

One of the more impressive escorts I met was one who backed out of a bad situation on his own. We didn't click for some reason. When his dick wasn't really staying hard without a lot of effort he was the one who stopped because it wasn't working out. He explained that he usually gets turned on by guys who were more effeminate. Whether that was the real reason or not, he left of his own accord and wouldn't take money for a cab.

 

I wouldn't pay him because I thought he deserved compensation for a failed encounter -- I might pay him something just to get out of a confrontation when I tried to end the session.

[Guest countryboywny]

Posting from my iPhone so any typos or grammatical errors are courtesy of Apple.

 

I had a situation with a regular guy I'd hired for several years. Mostly our sessions were overnights as I'm based on the east coast and we'd meet when I was in his city for business. One overnight was particularly lackluster. The escort just did not perform anywhere near his usual professional level. After a rather perfunctory session we both drifted off to sleep. I was feeling rather dejected to say the least.

 

During the the night the escort had trouble sleeping. No this was not because I was molesting him all night either. He was clearly having a bad night to the point of grinding his teeth. Needless to say this kind of ruined my chance for some sleep. Early morning came and I remarked to him he'd not slept well at all and asked what's wrong. Then the floodgate opened and the guy told me of his issues affecting his performance and sleep.

 

Turns out out he was having a plethora of issues culminating at the same time. His partner was ill and had major medical bills. He was finishing grad school and completing his thesis. He was also having career doubts and wondered if he'd made a mistake with his degree choice. To make the situation even worse his estranged father was inserting himself into the young man's life causing all kinds of issues. The poor guy was simply over stressed by all these life events happening at the same time. No wonder his performance was not to his usual level.

 

We talked for two hours that morning. I offered any advice I could about what he was dealing with. Nothing he was experiencing was insurmountable. The tables kind of turned here. Often it's the escort who's listening to the client's Lamentations. Just having someone to talk to helped him a bit. We wound up playing some more and he was almost most back to the guy I'd first hired. I paid the agreed fee even though he wanted to knock some off for his performance.

 

I have continued to see him over the years and there's never been a similar circumstance with his performance. To the contrary he's better and better each time I see him. He survived his grad school career angst. His partner recovered. And he got his lousy father out of his life for good. And he's still a top rated escort.

 

 

I'm telling this story to bring another perspective to this issue. Often we clients focus too much on ourselves without remembering that escorts are just as human and have the same issues in life we all face.

 

Great post ArVaGuy!! Sooooo true.

[Edward]

This guy admitted that he had been with to many other guys in the last days/weeks. He claimed I was not the problem. To my knowledge I have no "problems" other than being over 50.

[+ Gar1eth]

I'm sure it's happened to me at one point or other. But not recently so I can't really recall what happened. Also I'm a top, so a lot of guys can't get hard while bottoming- some can, other guys can get hard, but either can't cum after bottoming or I'm not a good enough top to make them cum ( for example-some guys either have really excellent control for when they cum or take forever to cum. I can't top forever - I'm not that endurant). In my last meeting with an escort- I wasn't able to be hard throughout the encounter. It was about 4 AM- I had taken little blue pill equivalent- but hey, I'm an out of shape 53 year old, and while I was horny, I was also tired.

 

But as for attraction- I figure as a given that 99.9% of the escorts I've been with aren't attracted to me physically unless they really like Daddy Bear types for real instead of just stating it in their ad as a marketing tool. As an acquaintance of mine tells me- I only appeal to a niche market. And I'm doubting that most-really any escorts I've met- shop at my market by choice.

 

Gman

[robberbaron4u]

They shoot horses, don't they?

[TruHart1]

They shoot horses, don't they?

 

Excellent movie, if a bit dated, robber!

 

TruHart1