50: To Speedo, or not to Speedo?

[+ Funguy]

They have these newfangled things now called mirrors. Use one.

 

There is even one called a "true mirror" and it doesn't

lie.

[+ FreshFluff]

There is even one called a "true mirror" and it doesn't

lie.

 

My fave but it doesn't provide a full body image unless you have a 5 foot iPad.

 

As for speedos, I've seen guys in their mid-50s and beyond who would look amazing in them. I prefer the look of small trunks though.

[+ Italiano]

What's wrong with Americans and speedos??....Growing up in Italy I got used to see speedos in any kind of man, muscular, skinny, normal, gorgeous or fat and ugly. Whatever you wear doesn't change who you are. At the beach wear whatever you feel more comfortable with. I live close to Brighton Beach in Brooklyn and go there often in summertime, it's absolutely refreshing and liberatory to see how most men (only Russians...) don't give a shit if they don't have a perfect body, but want to enjoy comfort on a beach.

Those ridiculous shorts/trunks that most men use are hideous, unless it's what you WANT to wear. To me they are totally uncomfortable at the beach. I have passed 50 4 years ago, I have a more than decent body and even if I didn't I would not care. I wear speedos always because I like it. If I am not in Miami Beach or in Brighton Beach I am usually one of the VERY few who wear speedos, and I don't give a damn if people are "offended" by the view of a bulge or my wrapped buttocks. People in US are super comfortable with violence, but body and sex (remember Janet Jackson's nipple?...) are taboo. Wrooong!

[MiamiLooker]

Yes, fans, that it the question.

 

How does a man know whether to wear one after age 50? Is there a pair of calipers I can buy to measure something?

 

A wall chart I can stand up against to see if my butt is bulbous enough?

 

Or will I have to stand under a harsh light and under the glare of one of those queens who thinks she knows who should do what and when, and wait for a verdict?

 

If you have to ask, then maybe you shouldn’t. Of course, if you do decide to go the banana hammock route, head on over to Walmart. Maybe you’ll get your pic on the internet…

Friends Don’t Let Friends Go To Walmart Like This:

http://madamenoire.com/420541/people-of-walmart/1/

[MrMiniver]

What's wrong with Americans and speedos??....Growing up in Italy I got used to see speedos in any kind of man, muscular, skinny, normal, gorgeous or fat and ugly. Whatever you wear doesn't change who you are. At the beach wear whatever you feel more comfortable with. I live close to Brighton Beach in Brooklyn and go there often in summertime, it's absolutely refreshing and liberatory to see how most men (only Russians...) don't give a shit if they don't have a perfect body, but want to enjoy comfort on a beach.

Those ridiculous shorts/trunks that most men use are hideous, unless it's what you WANT to wear. To me they are totally uncomfortable at the beach. I have passed 50 4 years ago, I have a more than decent body and even if I didn't I would not care. I wear speedos always because I like it. If I am not in Miami Beach or in Brighton Beach I am usually one of the VERY few who wear speedos, and I don't give a damn if people are "offended" by the view of a bulge or my wrapped buttocks. People in US are super comfortable with violence, but body and sex (remember Janet Jackson's nipple?...) are taboo. Wrooong!

 

Yes, in Europe it seems the only men who wear speedos are EXACTLY the ones who shouldn't. Sometimes you can't even go to the beach -- at least not on a full stomach. You might get physically ill

[JT Brooklyn]

The sad thing is those who wear SPEEDOS that really should not thinking it will get them laid! It ain't gonna happen!

[Phil_musc]

Thanks to Juan and Chris (and a few others) for having a positive attitude toward the aging male body. Honestly, some of you guys are so judgmental about your fellow human beings - with the implied subtext of superior taste and/or physical beauty. Confidence is sexy (wish I had more) but judgmental queenly bromides as written or uttered on this thread are not. No wonder you're paying for it (nasty, inappropriate swipe, I'll admit).

[+ friendofsheila]

All over the map, these responses. Wow!

[Phil_musc]

True, true, but as the OP, I would tell you to wear the speedo and let the chips fall where they may. Sure some folks might not like it but so what? They probably don't pay your bills - what do you care what they think. Now if you put on your speedo and don't like what you see as you pass the mirror, then that's different. But I bet you'll look damn fine.

[robberbaron4u]

No man should wear a speedo bathing suit after 21 years of age as it is a garment for the young and beautiful.

[MrMiniver]

Thanks to Juan and Chris (and a few others) for having a positive attitude toward the aging male body. Honestly, some of you guys are so judgmental about your fellow human beings - with the implied subtext of superior taste and/or physical beauty. Confidence is sexy (wish I had more) but judgmental queenly bromides as written or uttered on this thread are not. No wonder you're paying for it (nasty, inappropriate swipe, I'll admit).

 

It's not a case of being "judgmental" -- which seems to be the fall back word when one's argument is weak or non-existent -- but a case of wearing garments that are both age-appropriate and body-appropriate. There are simply garments that are not meant to be worn by people of a certain age or certain body type. Old, fat, young, skinny ... it all depends. I don't think it shows "confidence" for a 70 year old man with a pot belly and overly tanned skin to walk around in public with a small strip of fabric barely covering his cock and ass. That doesn't make me judgmental.

[+ honcho]

I used to swim for fitness regularly where I work - at a west coast university. Speedos are by far the most comfortable things

to swim laps in, and there were guys of all the types described above i.e. "Old, fat, young, skinny" and *nobody gives a shit*.

 

Some of the potbellied guys wearing speedos barely covering their cocks and asses nonetheless were considerably faster swimmers than I was...

 

Count me in the camp that says to go for it!

[Newly]

Not so much judgmental as provincial. Most of the guys in the world use speedos, and women often take their tops off. It's not a sexual thing, it's a comfort thing. You can always spot Americans at the beach abroad, they're the ones blushing like kids when women are topless or acting embarrassed at mixed sex spas. Nudity is not always about sex.

[MrMiniver]

Not so much judgmental as provincial. Most of the guys in the world use speedos, and women often take their tops off. It's not a sexual thing, it's a comfort thing. You can always spot Americans at the beach abroad, they're the ones blushing like kids when women are topless or acting embarrassed at mixed sex spas. Nudity is not always about sex.

 

How funny that the ones who are the first to use epithets like "provincial" and "judgmental" then go ahead and do the exact things they seem to accuse others of. LOL.

 

It's not "provincial" or "judgmental" to expect people of a certain age to look and act that age and not trying to be perpetually 25 years old and it has absolutely nothing to do with sex or blushing or any of that other nonsense. It has to do with taste and class and being appropriate. That's not "provincial" unless one thinks that anything goes no matter the situation or the place. Most people wouldn't call that attitude "provincial." They'd call it TACKY.

[Epigonos]

I lived two year in Guatemala in the early sixties. Native American Guatemalan women thought nothing of removing their blouses when doing laundry in a river and continued doing their washing nude from the waist up. They would, however, NEVER have raised their skirts and expose their knees as that would have been considered indecent behavior.

 

Now the fact that speedos are not commonly worm by older men in the U.S but are in Europe does not make one behavior correct and the other one incorrect. It is simply a different cultural outlook. The fact that women will appear on a beach in Europe topless but won’t in the U.S. does not make one behavior correct and the other incorrect. It is simply a different cultural outlook. Both sets of behaviors are correct in their cultural contexts. The one thing we should all be cautious about doing is judging one cultural behavior by the standards of another culture. I realize that some find it hard to believe but that are some basic cultural differences between U.S and European societies.

[+ Charlie]

Well, FOS, I think you have your answer: some people will think you demonstrate admirable self-confidence, some will think you are silly and tasteless (no matter what your physical shape), and many will neither notice nor care what you wear. Your choice of what to do will depend on which of those opinions matters to you.

[+ Travis69]

Just make sure to NEVER wear a WHITE speedo after Labor Day!! Now that really will upset the queens!!

[Juan Vancouver]

Well, FOS, I think you have your answer: some people will think you demonstrate admirable self-confidence, some will think you are silly and tasteless (no matter what your physical shape), and many will neither notice nor care what you wear. Your choice of what to do will depend on which of those opinions matters to you.

 

Charlie, you may have missed one other option.

 

Your choice of what you do could also depend exclusively on what you yourself think about it and your degree of comfort with who you are and what you are wearing.

 

Use yourself as a compass. We will never be able to please them all. They will always find a disgusting flaw in us, so you might as well just do as you wish.

 

I am going to close with one of my favourite quotes of all times:

 

“We probably wouldn't worry about what people think of us if we could know how seldom they do.”

 

Olin Miller

[+ FreshFluff]

I was on a date at a club live music on Saturday. A pair of 6' tall, skinny 25-year-old girls came up on stage to dance alongside the lead singer. I wanted to go up too but thought I might look chubby compared to these girls--especially when they were in black and I was in white! But I figured that I've got a nice build, looked hot in my white dress, and that is the best I'm going to look for the rest of my life.

 

So I went on stage and danced with the lead singer and the 2 girls. If someone snarked, I wouldn't know about it. All I remember is the awesome experience of being on stage in front of a lot of people and dancing my heart out.

 

Many of us will look back in 10 or 20 years and think we looked great. So if you get something out of wearing a Speedo, do it. YOLO.

[JT Brooklyn]

Well, FOS, I think you have your answer: some people will think you demonstrate admirable self-confidence, some will think you are silly and tasteless (no matter what your physical shape), and many will neither notice nor care what you wear. Your choice of what to do will depend on which of those opinions matters to you.

 

Indubidably!

[+ Charlie]

And indeed there will be time

To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"

Time to turn back and descend the stair,

With a bald spot in the middle of my hair--

(They will say: "How his hair is growing thin!")

My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,

My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin--

(They will say: "But how his arms and legs are thin!")

Do I dare disturb the universe?

In a minute there is time

For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

............................................

I grow old...I grow old...

I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

 

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?

I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.

I have heard the [escorts] singing, each to each.

 

I do not think that they will sing to me.

 

(courtesy of T. S. Eliot, with slight emendation)

[marylander1940]

http://thedailyshow.mtvnimages.com/images/shows/tds/videos/season_03/episode_127/ds_03127_10_zen_v6.jpg

 

Do's and dont's!

 

We all judge ourselves and others.

 

Consequences of speedo use...

 

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_983EOIqtS24/Sda6Mnxu21I/AAAAAAAAAKA/7R4w3DOk4dI/s400/Dominican+Republic+2009+143.JPG

[MrMiniver]

Just make sure to NEVER wear a WHITE speedo after Labor Day!! Now that really will upset the queens!!

 

It won't upset the queens but white bathing suits in general can be a big/small mistake

[JT Brooklyn]

The guy on the right he may find a "Chub Chaser" the other 2 Classic "Don't Do It"!

 

My theory is when the "Waist and Butt is Gone" throw away all Speedos!

[Rod Hagen]

You swim like a fish in speedos. They are as necessary a tool for efficient swimming as pedals are for biking. Wear them at any age.