Conner Habib Does Porn

[Diverdan]

Steven,

Thanks so much for posting this thread from Conner Habib. It is certainly thought provoking and makes one reflect on one's own attitudes and ability to interact with others, in this case porn stars. I have never dated a porn star, and probably never will. I think I could enjoy dating a few of them that I have met, but probably more so because we have enjoyed a lot of the same things, and not just sexually. As one poster said, it would have to be a very secure person to date and have a long term relationship with a porn star, of either sex, knowing that their working life required an intimacy usually related to long term relationships.

DD

[maninsoma]

Habib’s article mentions women in porn. He states “I knew from countless conversations with women in porn that they chose to be in porn and that many of them enjoyed the experience.” I didn’t read the entire article. Does he offer his explanation for the high rate of suicides and drug use by porn performers? If I understand your position, you’d be perfectly ok with a high school guidance counselor recommending performing in porn as a possible career choice to your daughter, granddaughter or niece (or your son, grandson or nephew). If so, you certainly have the opportunity to put your money where your mouth is. Make this suggestion at the next meeting of your local school board. And you must have some older relatives or friends that are looking for a hobby and maybe make a little extra cash. Suggest that they try porn. They don’t have to be hot looking or young (check out Ron Jeremy, Rod Fontana, Blue Iris, Davina Hardman and plenty others). Just a little encouragement from you might be all they need.

 

There's also a higher incidence of suicide in the gay community, particularly among teens and young adults. I'm not sure I understand your argument. Being in porn makes people want to kill themselves?

[Newly]

I think that's exactly what he's trying to say, and I think he's 100% right. And saying that suicide is high in the gay community is basically agreeing with MiamiLooker. Gays have been subject to the hatred of society for years, as that changes I expect that rate to decline, but accepting gays in no way means that society is changing it's attitude about prostitution, gay or straight. I'm not distancing myself from everyone else here. I hire but I also sometimes question if I'm at a tea party from Alice In Wonderland. There are probably exceptions, but selling and buying bodies is hardly an occupation that has high esteem or that is seen as a valid life choice by the vast majority of the population, gay or straight. I'm sure that there are porn studios that are the milk of human kindness (I'm being sarcastic here) but many of them have a reputation for using people and spitting them out when their novelty and youth are gone. If the public wants to see bareback that's what we'll get, regardless of the consequences to the performers. If you're an escort you're constantly judged on your appearance and youth - life is hard enough, imagine being constantly judged on body type, how muscled you are, how young you are and so forth. On top of which in the US you are engaged in an illegal trade, so the possibility of being arrested just adds to the fun. Relationships are hard enough, but trying to have one where the most intimate part of it is sold to anyone doesn't make it any easier. Accepting that doesn't make you "secure" in the eyes of most of the world, it makes you broken. I doubt that there are any real studies studying what becomes of most people in the sex industry, but when one considers that the number of male escorts and porn performers is not too high the number of suicides one hears of seems very high. And while the number of people in "normal" society that divorce and have multiple relationships is high I don't know too many escorts who have relationships that last past 10 years. I'm sure they exist, they just don't seem too common. So yes, MiamiLooker is right on point.

[MiamiLooker]

There's also a higher incidence of suicide in the gay community, particularly among teens and young adults. I'm not sure I understand your argument. Being in porn makes people want to kill themselves?

 

It’s not my argument. Others have made it (http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/arpad-miklos-suicide-shows-we-should-look-after-gay-porn-stars150213):

“Arpad Miklos is the latest in a steady procession of gay porn stars to die prematurely. He was found dead in his New York apartment on 3 February, having committed suicide. He was 45 years old. As sex is seen by most of us as an enjoyable act, the fact more porn actors die from suicide or drug overdoses than the general population may seem counter-intuitive.”

http://danielrjennings.org/TheAverageLifeExpectancyOfAPornStar.html

http://www.thefrisky.com/?attachment_id=767742

http://www.queerty.com/michael-lucas-addresses-recent-spate-of-porn-star-suicides-20130318/

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/dailymusto/2013/03/so_many_gay_por.php

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/howard-bragman/gwissues-one-on-one-with-chi-chi-larue_b_2979947.html