re: "Girly" or effeminate Escorts

[Bluray2]

I've met so many escorts who advertise themselves as

"masculine" or "straight acting" but in the end are

disappointingly girly or effeminate.

 

Has this been your experience?

 

I raise the question after reading the article below,

which deals with a controversy in sex role demands

in certain sports.

 

BR

 

http://www.thebacklot.com/why-cant-you-just-butch-up-gay-men-effeminacy-and-our-war-with-ourselves/06/2009/

[Bosguy]

Absolutely not in the guys I've hired or met socially. Despite a wide variety of looks, they are masculine inside and out and are like that in the bedroom or all types of social events. However, would not refuse to hire a guy solely because he may "appear" to be "effeminate" because I'm sure they would be great to spend time with

 

Boston Bill

[JT Brooklyn]

As in other areas what you see is not always what you get! I myself always make the "phone call" before finalizing the deal!

 

It definitely erases any dissappointment!

[adriano46]

As in other areas what you see is not always what you get! I myself always make the "phone call" before finalizing the deal!

 

It definitely erases any dissappointment!

 

+1 - I once hired a very masculine, muscled guy. He came to my hotel room and it was like being with one of my sisters (and no, I am not from W.V. and into my sisters). Within 15 minutes I called it quits, paid him his fee and pushed him out the door. I later learned that often it helps to actually talk to the guy on the phone before meeting, hearing his voice. On another thread on Rentmen, one of the values I find there are videos of themselves that escorts can post -- you get a great idea of the guy and how he acts from those videos (staged and amateur). Many may not agree with me but I like MEN and when I hire, I want a MAN, a masculine, mature (butch if you want) MAN.

[bigvalboy]

"You can't judge a book by the cover"....always make the call if you think it might be an issue.

[+ WilliamM]

Absolutely not in the guys I've hired or met socially. Despite a wide variety of looks, they are masculine inside and out and are like that in the bedroom or all types of social events. However, would not refuse to hire a guy solely because he may "appear" to be "effeminate" because I'm sure they would be great to spend time with

 

 

Agree completely. And I have been hiring for a long time, although not much lately.

[+ Gar1eth]

The article makes a point of saying that gay men and others who dislike effeminacy in men- may dislike it because of societal standards. It seems odd to me that they don't also bring up the fact that just as effeminate men aren't putting on an act- that they are acting the way they are 'made'- it's very possible the dislike people feel could very well be biologically based. Now just because I'm saying that the feelings may be biologically based doesn't mean I think biology should give someone carte blanche to be rude or mean to someone who is effeminate. But the feelings of dislike maybe just as deeply set in some as effeminate behaviors are in others. And I think that our behavior towards effeminacy can be changed easier than effeminate behavior.

 

 

Gman

[Bluray2]

The article makes a point of saying that gay men and others who dislike effeminacy in men- may dislike it because of societal standards. It seems odd to me that they don't also bring up the fact that just as effeminate men aren't putting on an act- that they are acting the way they are 'made'- it's very possible the dislike people feel could very well be biologically based. Now just because I'm saying that the feelings may be biologically based doesn't mean I think biology should give someone carte blanche to be rude or mean to someone who is effeminate. But the feelings of dislike maybe just as deeply set in some as effeminate behaviors are in others. And I think that our behavior towards effeminacy can be changed easier than effeminate behavior.

 

 

Gman

 

Can you explain further? What would an example of another

"biologically-based feeling"?

 

BR

[fedssocr1]

That's a pretty old article. But no less true today, of course.

 

I guess everyone's got their likes and dislikes. Personally I kind of like a guy who is a little bit girly...but just a little bit. :-) Of all my sexual encounters I think they have been the most fun.

[+ Gar1eth]

The article makes a point of saying that gay men and others who dislike effeminacy in men- may dislike it because of societal standards. It seems odd to me that they don't also bring up the fact that just as effeminate men aren't putting on an act- that they are acting the way they are 'made'- it's very possible the dislike people feel could very well be biologically based. Now just because I'm saying that the feelings may be biologically based doesn't mean I think biology should give someone carte blanche to be rude or mean to someone who is effeminate. But the feelings of dislike maybe just as deeply set in some as effeminate behaviors are in others. And I think that our behavior towards effeminacy can be changed easier than effeminate behavior.

 

 

Gman

 

Can you explain further? What would an example of another

"biologically-based feeling"?

 

BR

 

I did say 'possible' and not definite. But how about snakes, high places, claustrophobia. On the plus side I think it has been proven that we as a species find juvenile-rounded immature features 'cute' and that is why we find babies, puppies, kittens, and etc appealing. Also beloved cartoon characters often have very rounded features.

 

Gman

[Bluray2]

I did say 'possible' and not definite. But how about snakes, high places, claustrophobia. On the plus side I think it has been proven that we as a species find juvenile-rounded immature features 'cute' and that is why we find babies, puppies, kittens, and etc appealing. Also beloved cartoon characters often have very rounded features.

 

Gman

 

I tended to think of fear of snakes, high places, closed spaces as "learned" and not biologically

innate. However, GMAN's intriguing notes emboldened me to look further and there is indeed a debate

about this. A link is below for those who are interested.

 

Is anyone's distaste for "girly" escorts actually a neurologically hard-wired from birth,

though? Is that a stretch...?

 

BR

 

http://empoweringall.wordpress.com/2007/12/16/fear-biological-or-behaviour-based/

[Guest Starbuck]

I wouldn't fault a guy for only being attracted to masculine men anymore than I'd fault someone who is gay for wanting to be with people of the same sex. We like what we like ... innately, instinctively, for whatever reasons ... and the rest of the world can just get over its judgments.

 

But on the other hand, this is one of those threads that reminds us of our dizzyingly high expectations of escorts. Kind of makes me wonder how many of us could live up to the standards of youth, beauty, fitness, honesty, complete discretion, excellent sex skills and uncompromised masculinity we seek. Just asking ...

[Newly]

I think I like "masculine" escorts, but if you really think about it how "masculine" is it to be having sex with a guy? I know lots of people are prejudiced against gays, I hope that we don't follow suit and become prejudiced against someone because they are too "girly". It's kind of cool that different people act differently and have different tastes; maybe I'll have to broaden my tastes a bit.

[MiamiLooker]

I guess it depends on what one considers “girly”. Is it loving and nurturing? Or, is it the most superficial negative qualities often associated with females, such as cattiness, diva attitude, southern belle/gold digger (someone take care of me), etc.; maybe “neurotic, fussy, martyr-like personality with no self-esteem” as Albert from The Birdcage is described (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/videos/birdcage.htm)?

[Bluray2]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/videos/birdcage.htm[/url])?

 

I think of loving and nurturing more as "motherly." By "girly" I meant effeminate...but more in the

sense hopefully more relevant to this forum: those of us anticipating that we'd be meeting

up with the jock-fantasy-of-our-dreams (ha!), and then finding that we're with someone

who might be awfully nice and likable, but they are simply unmanly, campy, or foppish.

 

BR2

[bigvalboy]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/videos/birdcage.htm[/url])?

 

Well I think it can mean both, depending on who's saying it, why they say it, and in what context it is said. There are many who will label Albert, but I always found Albert to be an extraordinarily loving and nurturing character. His love for Armand, Val, Agador where immeasurable. Thanks for the link ML...it did bring back wonderful memories of that movie, and a nice walk back through time. Great Character for Mr. Lane

 

[+ Gar1eth]

Well I think it can mean both, depending on who's saying it. There are many who will label Albert, but I always found Albert to be an extraordinarily loving and nurturing character. His love for Armand, Val, Agador where immeasurable. Thanks for the link ML...it did bring back wonderful memories of that movie, and a nice walk back through time.

 

 

But would you hire Albert or an Albert-like person for a few hours or A&M entire night of nookie?

 

Gman

[marylander1940]

This might be a little bit off subject but I'll post it anyways...

 

[video=youtube;2SrpARP_M0o]

[bigvalboy]

But would you hire Albert or an Albert-like person for a few hours or A&M entire night of nookie?

Gman

 

Sorry...What's A&M?

[Daverwr]

Personally, I've never ended up with someone that is too effeminate. True, some have had some "traits" but usually they are all man. I, too, am looking for a masculine man when I hire. Girlfriends are to go shopping with!

[Diverdan]

I have a couple of friends whom I consider the perfect examples of bi-sexuals. One is married, has kids and also plays with very masculine men. I once asked him about this, and he said, when I play with men, I want to play with a MAN, and when I play with women, I prefer my wife. (Who IMHO is a very classy, beautiful woman who could easily be featured on a women's magazine). The other guy is not married, but his little black book is filled with beautiful women and studly men. He usually plays with a woman one week and then a man the next. Some of the women and men that he plays with know his situation and his dual life style. But, I have never seen him with any man who would in any way be classified as "effeminite" and have never seen him with a woman that I would ever be classified masculine. Not sure how this information relates to this post, but I do think it illustrates how and why there are so many different preferences in life and how those preferences may be expressed. I had several male friends growing up who were perceived as "effeminite", and were sometimes teased about it, but never very seriously. All of them grew up to be very masculine, once they entered puberty, and all of them married and they have children. So, it is difficult for me to ascertain why some pre-pubescent males never retain their effeminate qualities while others may appear somewhat that way to others well into middle age. There must be as many different reasons as there are expressions of the same.