Just a question

[+ buddy12]

I'm kind of new to this game and I just have a question that perhaps some can answer. I recently got in contact with a guy via email. Things were going along well and we planned a date to meet. Albeit, I had to put it on and off due to finances but I finally had it set and it seemed like we were going to meet. I wanted to be honest with him and I disclosed my prior profession (I'm a retired cop...I know...we get to retire young...public pensions and all ). He seemed ok with that...no problem whatsoever. I then wrote him back and also told him I would be armed. Emails and contact suddenly stopped. I've done this twice before, and disclosed to the guys I met with that I would have a gun with me. They didn't have a problem with it but I can certainly understand why this guy did. Never meeting me, doesn't know me from adam, etc. Question: Should I disclose what I use to do or spring it on someone once we meet. I rarely carry the gun locally, but when I go on long trips, I do. I was going to meet this escort in another family home we have in a rural area and he knew that. I think I scared him off. I just hate the idea though of not being up front of what I use to do and I also always carry my piece when I go on long trips. I know some might be scared off of the cop thing and I could keep that concealed, but as far as my weapon goes, I'd prefer they know what I used to do (I have a retired badge) so when I bring the gun out, they're not freaking out.

 

He also put in his rentboy ad that as far as drugs go, "You can". Didn't catch that until after we communicated. That might have screwed the deal too. I really didn't care about that. I had kids flush more marijuana down the toilet than I can count.

 

Well anyway, please let me know your thoughts.

[nate_sf]

The issue isn't telling him you used to be a cop (in fact some would be turned on by it), it's that you were going to be carrying a gun. Leave the gun in the car and you'll be fine. No need to carry a gun into an escort appointment - in the many years I've done escorting there has never been an occasion where a gun was needed, but maybe I've just been lucky.

[+ FreshFluff]

I agree with Nate. If you take the gun on long trips, maybe leave it in a hidden place (preferably unloaded) in your hotel room. Otherwise, it's going to freak people out. I doubt they care about the retired cop issue.

[+ buddy12]

I agree on hourly appointments. But I haven't done hourly appointments. I always fly the escort out here. I live in a rural area and that's the easiest for me to see someone. I always take them up to our home in the woods and that is probably the problem. Way more expensive than living in NYC, but unfortunately I don't live there! So I'm stuck with this. But again, I still don't want to leave my gun at home (and I can't have them here for discretion reasons). But to your point, I did write the guy back and tell him I would leave the gun in the car and still got no response...I don't know. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut on the whole thing.

[+ buddy12]

It's never a hotel fresh. And you're right about the retired cop thing. So should I just drop the whole thing, not tell them and hide the thing when they're here? I could hide the gun. I've just seen too much crap in my job and don't want a nutjob to break in and leave myself (or for that matter the escort) exposed to danger.

[tom1980]

As a client, I'd never meet with an escort who told me he would have a gun on him when I met him. I'd also tell any escort to never meet a client who says he will bring a gun to the meeting. I'm shocked that you had two other escorts who were fine with that arrangement.

[Tighty]

Let's see, seeing a client Ina remote location and he has a gun...Pass!

[+ azdr0710]

can't you just not mention the cop thing and not mention the gun thing?.....very noble of you to be honest and open about both concerns, but it's obviously scaring off guys you want to meet....I'm not some anti-gun hippie, but I've never owned a weapon and have never felt scared out in public (and certainly not in a hotel room or in a remote family-owned cabin!!).....

[BSR]

Having lived in both very gun-hostile (Massachusetts) and gun-friendly (Nevada) states, I'm amazed by just how vastly different people's attitudes and responses toward guns can be. In Massachusetts, if a guest somehow found out that you kept a gun in your home, he'd most likely leave ... immediately. In Nevada, he'd probably ask you what make(s)/model(s), tell you what he owns, and complain about the sky-high price of ammunition. If I ever visited someone who lived in a remote location, I would simply assume that they were armed because for me, it would be unthinkable to live in an isolated area without a firearm.

 

But one has to assume that everyone will react like they do in MA, not NV or TX. Let me backtrack a bit to the retired cop issue: I wouldn't even mention it. Plenty of escorts will tell you they have cops, both retired and active, as clients. As long as you don't cross any lines during initial contact (e.g., "how much to top you?" *eyeroll*), what does it matter? Back to the gun issue, you said that the escort would be going to meet you in a rural family home. I would keep my firearm(s) locked away and out of sight (which I assume is the case already) and not mention it. Again, what does it matter? With over 300 million firearms in this country, it's a safe bet that when you go to someone's home, there's a fair probability that person is a gun owner. Now if you are going to the escort's residence (or hotel room if he's touring), that's a whole different ball of wax. 1) you would be carrying the gun on your person, and 2) it's HIS HOUSE!!

 

People come over to my place all the time, whether maintenance/repair/delivery men or family/friends/acquaintances, and I never mention that I own a gun (actually several). It's my house, and as long as I'm not brandishing the weapon, what difference does it make? On the flip side, I would never dream of bringing a firearm into someone else's house without their explicit permission. Disclosing your previous profession is just TMI. Any information about gun(s) in your home (in this case, your family's home, but still yours not the escort's), as long as they are locked away and out of sight, is also TMI.

[tom1980]

As a Texan, I own guns and have my concealed carry license. My aversion to meeting an escort who brings a gun to the appointment is not fear of guns or those who carry them. My fear is meeting a person I don't know who tells me he will be carrying a deadly weapon.

 

As a client, I usually only meet escorts who have some positive reviews. As such, I feel like the risk of me meeting an escort who tells me he is carrying a gun is lower than the risk to an escort who is meeting a completely unknown client who says he's going to be carrying a gun. The escort doesn't know if the client is telling the truth about being a retired cop. And even if the client is telling the truth, not all cops are saints or even trustworthy. There are plenty of cops who think that escorts are the scum of the earth. Because it is impossible to know the hidden motives of a client, I can't believe any escort would say yes to an appointment with an unknown client who says he is bringing a gun to the session.

[unsub2O17]

I agree with BSR. This is not "guilt by omission". This is not "too much information". This is just plain unnecessary and irrelevant information. But, of course, keep the gun well locked away. If you even remotely suspect that you might need it, WHY would you invite this particular escort into your home?

[+ sf westcoaster]

Somethings are better left unsaid.

[Juan Vancouver]

I would never meet any client or escort (or dog) if I knew they were weapon carrying folk. No exceptions.

 

The same way I will not meet a client who I know is injecting drugs. (The chances for an accident are way too big to ignore.) If I know the person I am dealing with has a weapon, if I am at a session and I see a weapon I will find a smooth way to extricate myself of the situation immediately and without asking for any kind of explanation. I am not putting myself at that kind of risk.

 

I am not going to get into the gun culture nor its legality. If someone feels they are living under such threat that they feel the need to carry a gun with them when meeting me, then I can tell right there and then that we are not a good match. No judgment, I just don't want to expose myself to that kind of energy.

 

I would say there is no need to mention your old profession, no need to mention a gun and certainly no need to bring one with you. If you own guns, hide them out of sight and luck them out or meet the escort wherever there are no weapons.

 

But... I am going to come out and say it... what really catches my attention on your post is this sentence:

 

but as far as my weapon goes, I'd prefer they know what I used to do (I have a retired badge) so when I bring the gun out, they're not freaking out.

 

Why isn't everyone asking you why on earth do you think it is okay to bring the gun out during a session? Am I missing something here?

 

Is it your fetish? Is it part of your scene to mention that you are an ex cop and flash a badge and a gun? I have been thinking of reasons of why you would bring out a gun during a session and I can't.

 

Please elucidate me.

[+ purplekow]

Juan I thought the same thing, came up with the idea that he is carrying the gun and that at some point the gun will have to be removed. Put me in the group that favors keeping the previous profession in the background and keeping the gun in a gun case, unloaded.

[Decatur Guy]

Definitely would have scared me away with that information.

[adriano46]

Let's see, seeing a client Ina remote location and he has a gun...Pass!

 

+1 - no reason to tell about the gun. just lock it up someplace.

[Frequentflier]

I know some might be scared off of the cop thing and I could keep that concealed, but as far as my weapon goes, I'd prefer they know what I used to do (I have a retired badge) so when I bring the gun out, they're not freaking out.

 

He also put in his rentboy ad that as far as drugs go, "You can". Didn't catch that until after we communicated. That might have screwed the deal too. I really didn't care about that. I had kids flush more marijuana down the toilet than I can count.

 

Well anyway, please let me know your thoughts.

 

Drugs don't always mean those that are illegal and in some states, 420 isn't illegal (at the state level and the Feds have already stated which type of people involved in drugs they are after - not recreational users with small quantities). Saving that you used to be a cop for a repeat session when you are getting to know each other is probably best, unless you're concern is that you act and talk in such a way that the escort will be scared away in which case it sounded like it went ok in this instance. I don't think there was anything more you could have done to make the escort feel uncomfortable when you then added you're bringing a gun. "so when I bring the gun out, they're not freaking out". You wouldn't be welcome in my house with one, even if I've known you for 50 years.

[+ azdr0710]

But... I am going to come out and say it... what really catches my attention on your post is this sentence:

 

 

 

Why isn't everyone asking you why on earth do you think it is okay to bring the gun out during a session? Am I missing something here?

 

Is it your fetish? Is it part of your scene to mention that you are an ex cop and flash a badge and a gun? I have been thinking of reasons of why you would bring out a gun during a session and I can't.

 

Please elucidate me.

 

 

Juan: he may just mean that as he's undressing or similar, he has to expose the holstered weapon....I don't think he mean he's bringing it out to display it or show it off or even have the escort caress it while he jacks off (!!)......

[cany10011]

I wouldn't even enter a friend's house if I know they have gun.

 

Drugs don't always mean those that are illegal and in some states, 420 isn't illegal (at the state level and the Feds have already stated which type of people involved in drugs they are after - not recreational users with small quantities). Saving that you used to be a cop for a repeat session when you are getting to know each other is probably best, unless you're concern is that you act and talk in such a way that the escort will be scared away in which case it sounded like it went ok in this instance. I don't think there was anything more you could have done to make the escort feel uncomfortable when you then added you're bringing a gun. "so when I bring the gun out, they're not freaking out". You wouldn't be welcome in my house with one, even if I've known you for 50 years.

[seeker630]

Having lived in both very gun-hostile (Massachusetts) and gun-friendly (Nevada) states, I'm amazed by just how vastly different people's attitudes and responses toward guns can be. In Massachusetts, if a guest somehow found out that you kept a gun in your home, he'd most likely leave ... immediately. In Nevada, he'd probably ask you what make(s)/model(s), tell you what he owns, and complain about the sky-high price of ammunition. If I ever visited someone who lived in a remote location, I would simply assume that they were armed because for me, it would be unthinkable to live in an isolated area without a firearm.

 

But one has to assume that everyone will react like they do in MA, not NV or TX. Let me backtrack a bit to the retired cop issue: I wouldn't even mention it. Plenty of escorts will tell you they have cops, both retired and active, as clients. As long as you don't cross any lines during initial contact (e.g., "how much to top you?" *eyeroll*), what does it matter? Back to the gun issue, you said that the escort would be going to meet you in a rural family home. I would keep my firearm(s) locked away and out of sight (which I assume is the case already) and not mention it. Again, what does it matter? With over 300 million firearms in this country, it's a safe bet that when you go to someone's home, there's a fair probability that person is a gun owner. Now if you are going to the escort's residence (or hotel room if he's touring), that's a whole different ball of wax. 1) you would be carrying the gun on your person, and 2) it's HIS HOUSE!!

 

People come over to my place all the time, whether maintenance/repair/delivery men or family/friends/acquaintances, and I never mention that I own a gun (actually several). It's my house, and as long as I'm not brandishing the weapon, what difference does it make? On the flip side, I would never dream of bringing a firearm into someone else's house without their explicit permission. Disclosing your previous profession is just TMI. Any information about gun(s) in your home (in this case, your family's home, but still yours not the escort's), as long as they are locked away and out of sight, is also TMI.

 

Good response!

[Phil_musc]

Wow - I feel like such an innocent here (snicker!). I am no escort so my opinion doesn't count here anyway. But the whole gun thing just makes me weak in the knees (and not in the old school-boy crush sense) - I'd just want to get away as fast as possible. Then too I live on the east coast - probably closer to Massachusetts geographically and mentally. It does seem though that the OP is expecting trouble of a significant kind sometime in his hiring career - I know, I know, better to be safe than sorry. But if I thought the guy I was seeing was packing, I wouldn't be hiring (but I'm on hiatus from that too). Perhaps the review sheets need a new box to check: "Gun carrying: top bottom versatile (Circle one or all that apply). I'd be looking for the "doesn't apply" or "better not apply" box myself.

[leigh.bess.toad]

Perhaps the review sheets need a new box to check: "Gun carrying: top bottom versatile (Circle one or all that apply). I'd be looking for the "doesn't apply" or "better not apply" box myself.

 

So now we'll have a new category: "Use Drugs? You can." "Carry a Gun? You can.". And would any of us go to meet someone for the first time that answered the question "Carry a Gun? I do"? We've all read a couple of reviews of escorts who have flipped at times (I can't remember the guy's name but there was one guy in SF I'm thinking about). Would you want to meet him if he was carrying?

[gallahadesquire]

Just an aside:

 

When the Boston Marathon got bombed, Boston and environs shut down: "Stay where you are". A friend from Tucson said, "If it had happened here, everyone would have gotten their favourite weapon and sat in their front yard, waiting for the culprits."

 

And he WENT to school in Boston.

[+ azdr0710]

A friend from Tucson said, "If it had happened here, everyone would have gotten their favourite weapon and sat in their front yard, waiting for the culprits."

 

 

and Tucson is known as the liberal hotbed of Arizona!.....

[Steven_Draker]

Frankly, Buddy12, the only gun you'll need for a meeting with your escort is the 'weapon' between your legs. ;-)

 

On a more serious note: in the future, leave the gun locked in a safe place and don't mention it.

 

If you're planning to bring a gun, better let the person know ahead of time, as you did, so he can make a choice whether to proceed with the session or not. We, escorts, appreciate when you're upfront about such important things.

 

The comment that a poster made "Somethings are better left unsaid" is not a good policy here. I wonder what else people have to hide ...