Meet up for coffee first?

[KissingCalvin]

Is that kosher?

 

There is an escort I want to hire, but there are no reviews anywhere and a question about the integrity of his profile. Would it be kosher, and are escorts willing to consider, meeting at a public place first, like a coffee shop, and then go to room/house? Just to make sure he is what and who he says he is...and he to find that out about me? I know it might be considered a risk or time (and thus money) waste, but is it ever done?

[+ Charlie]

Many clients like to meet a new escort in a public place (bar, restaurant, etc.) before proceeding to wherever the private part of the appointment is to take place. Some escorts prefer that, too. In fact, I would be somewhat suspicious of an escort who refused to do that.

[Steven_Draker]

Welcome to the board, KissingCalvin.

 

Personally, I don't know many escorts who would agree to meet you for 'coffee first' or 'lunch/dinner first', if there's no commitment for a session.

 

You can always ask him and see what he replies back. Did you call him on the phone already, to check what's the vibe?

[robberbaron4u]

Cocktails and lunch or dinner at the restaurant of their choice as my guest has always been a prerequisite to a "hire" with me as I do not like "unknown quantities". If the escort declines, I do not take offense; I move on to the next "candidate".

[Kevin Slater]

I don't know many escorts who would agree to meet you for 'coffee first' or 'lunch/dinner first', if there's no commitment for a session.

 

+1

 

Kevin Slater

[Bosguy]

From my perspective as a client, I would never do this. There is usually plenty of information about the working guy from their ads and proper mutual communication. If the approach of meeting for coffee, etc. doesn't work out, both parties have lost personal and professional time and the working guy has not received the compensation he had planned on. BAD IDEA!

 

Welcome to the Forum. Enjoy

 

Boston Bill

[Michael Wayne]

i always consider an invite for coffee, lunch or dinner depending on my schedule. I ask if the client intends to be a regular. If he says yes then any and all effort on my part will be handsomely rewarded by a long time client. I have never agreed to do this and the new client not proceeded with the appointment. http://www.rentboy.com/magicmikey

[Guest countryboywny]

Calvin,

If a pre-session meet is important to you, and the escort is reluctant, think about this: Contact the escort about meeting you for coffee or whatever. Inform him that if the meeting goes well and your both up for a session then it will continue, remembering that the clock may start when he met you for coffee. If the meet doesn't go well, and you will not continue, tell him that you will pay him some amount for his trouble ($100?)

[KissingCalvin]

Calvin,

If a pre-session meet is important to you, and the escort is reluctant, think about this: Contact the escort about meeting you for coffee or whatever. Inform him that if the meeting goes well and your both up for a session then it will continue, remembering that the clock may start when he met you for coffee. If the meet doesn't go well, and you will not continue, tell him that you will pay him some amount for his trouble ($100?)

 

Wow, thanks everyone. I was thinking of more along the lines of actually booking a session with the expectation that it actually happen. I expect from the profile and discussion I should have enough information without having to 'meet' them first. But, as I explained I another thread, I had done this years ago and was badly burned. Guess I'm gun shy .

 

Meet for in a public place first for two reasons 1) I actually like to talk and get to know personality a bit. I find it erotic and 2) one last chance to make sure they are the person they really are in the profile. Profiles and phone I can get a lot from but meeting face to face gives a whole other level of confirmation. Guess it'd be just a last fail safe.

 

And I think any escort I hire and end up feeling compatible with I would hope to be regular (I tend to like my routine, more into sticking with what I like than trying new ones all the time ).

[jimboivyo]

unless the guy has no reviews this is usually looked at by most working guys as a way to wrangle free time from folks who make their living as escorts

 

the established guys don't have to do this. getting to know an escort is part of the deal imo. I pay for his time, his intelligence, his company and more.

[Griffin Donavon]

Hey Calvin!

 

Welcome to the forum, As a escort I can tell you that most of the established escorts would never do this unless it was compensated for. Even if the escort was not reviewed and he is who he promises he is: you should be paying for his time. In the inquiry I would also say you are willing to compensate.

 

If not most of them will just ignore your inquiry, If this is a problem, always go with one's that are reviewed on here.. If you do get away with this they either need the money badly or your going to make the escort bitter about the industry. Never treat a escort like a prostitute, treat them like a escort and you will have much success in this.

[cany10011]

Mikey, i'm glad you've had positive experiences. But I don't think that matters. Whether or not he intends to be a regular can be easily changed after he meets or experiences you. That question should not be relevant in the equation to meet.

 

As a client, i don't think i would ask to just meet for a coffee and make a decision after that. I think if i were nervous, i would insist on meeting in a public place *with the full intention* of bringing him to my hotel room or condo. The escort had to invest time in preparing and coming to meet you. I don't know many guys who would just offer to meet up for an inspection with no guarantee of business.

 

If i were a little skeptical or unsure of hiring, i would at least guarantee his fee to chat for an hour. That way, it is only fair to the working guy. For guys i meet that i absolutely am not into, i just ask for massage and pay him his rate, and never call him again.

 

 

 

 

 

i always consider an invite for coffee, lunch or dinner depending on my schedule. I ask if the client intends to be a regular. If he says yes then any and all effort on my part will be handsomely rewarded by a long time client. I have never agreed to do this and the new client not proceeded with the appointment. http://www.rentboy.com/magicmikey

[+ Charlie]

Although nowadays one tends to know much more about a new escort whom one would like to hire, than one did in the days before the Internet and the professionalization of the escort business, one can still be unpleasantly jolted on the first meeting with someone new. I can understand why someone who is new at hiring, or is nervous because of a bad experience in the past, may want to meet the escort first in a neutral space before going ahead with the scheduled appointment. Even many well-regarded escorts don't show their faces in their ads (e.g., Steven, who is quite good-looking IMHO), and the client may be disappointed if he has already fantasized someone different. Ads and preliminary communications don't always tell one enough about the subtleties of interpersonal impressions. I have known escorts who feel the same way about meeting certain clients. Other escorts may feel confident enough, about their ability to deal with any client, or their ability to find clients who are not so skittish, not to want to bother with such a feeling-out period, and may refuse to include it.

 

I originally interpreted the OP's question to be about including the meeting in a public space as the beginning of a scheduled appointment, not simply as a "meeting for coffee," and I can understand why many escorts would be leery of the latter as a possible waste of time. If such a prelude is included in the appointment, it should not include discussion of specific sex acts or money--all that should be settled before the meeting--but should be used for client and escort to size one another up. If the client does decide, on the basis of this meeting, not to go ahead with the appointment, he should be prepared to pay the escort something for the amount of time already invested--think of it as a consultation fee--unless the escort is obviously not the person advertised or described.

[KissingCalvin]

[quote=Charlie;883203

 

I originally interpreted the OP's question to be about including the meeting in a public space as the beginning of a scheduled appointment, not simply as a "meeting for coffee," and I can understand why many escorts would be leery of the latter as a possible waste of time. If such a prelude is included in the appointment, it should not include discussion of specific sex acts or money--all that should be settled before the meeting--but should be used for client and escort to size one another up. If the client does decide, on the basis of this meeting, not to go ahead with the appointment, he should be prepared to pay the escort something for the amount of time already invested--think of it as a consultation fee--unless the escort is obviously not the person advertised or described.

 

You interpreted that correctly. I would never ask for an escorts time without compensation. I meant more of a place to meet to start to make that final line of confirmation (this is for unreviewed escorts who,I have talked to on the phone) he was who he said he was.

 

I'd never consider not paying for time. I don't give free time for my expertise, why should I demand it of another professional? (Different profession obviously, but concept is really the same. Pay for time and expertise )

 

On the same token, I'd like to make sure I'm not being scammed by a unprofessional who would waste my time and money (and emotional investment

 

I guess the best thing to do since I'm doing this for the first time in 8 years after a bad experience, is go for the well-reviewed one

[robberbaron4u]

Everyone one to his own vetting strategy, but, a man has to eat, and, for me, the seated lunch is, too, my "social" forte.

[robberbaron4u]

Fortunately, I, myself, have entertainment value in my old age, and, I do not want for company in the light of the day. For myself, I make a "hire" of an escort is for play behind closed doors, not as a "walker" or a "companion". Being that "escorting" is a business, I cannot not think of any prospective employer, in conducting a pre-employment interview, who is charged a fee for the privilege by the prospective candidate. But, of course, I consider dining at my table, and, too, receiving an invitation to dine as a guest of another, a privilege, not an entitlement. Sink me. . .

[Juan Vancouver]

Hi Calvin,

 

Just want to add something that nobody has mentioned till now.

 

I have never and will never agree to meet someone for the first time in a public place. No exceptions. Even thought this is rare, I have heard stories about men asking the escort to wait at a street corner, go to a coffee shop, a hotel bar, wait at a park, you name it. At best, they are left waiting forever, at worse they have faced hassling and attacks. In many years of escorting I have managed to stay safe and avoid these kind of situations, and one of the ways in which I do this is being very strict about this rule.

 

I will only meet someone for the first time whether at my in call place, their hotel or their personal home. I need the full address and room number before I consider the session confirmed. If someone is skittish about sharing all that information then I don't take the session. By following this rule It is possible that I have missed a couple really nice nervous guys, but I also know that I have dodged a few bullets.

 

As with everything related to escorts and the way we do business, it all depends on every individual. The only way to know for sure is to ask the escort directly.

 

Good luck, and if you go for an unreviewed escort, I hope you will find a great guy that you can review.

[irishjock]

I originally interpreted the OP's question to be about including the meeting in a public space as the beginning of a scheduled appointment, not simply as a "meeting for coffee,".

 

I don't give free consultations in my profession and always charge for my time -- I would expect no less from guys in this field. I don't see why paying to meet and get to know eachother would be a problem (lunch, dinner, or drinks, etc)... I was thinking about doing this myself because I've never done this before.

[irishjock]

Fortunately, Being that "escorting" is a business, I cannot not think of any prospective employer, in conducting a pre-employment interview, who is charged a fee for the privilege by the prospective candidate. .

 

Except, the analogy doesn't really fit here, does it? Usually an employer is talking to a candidate about his skills in a specific area and the candidate is not asked to work an hour for free... in this field, "interaction" is the product and I can see that some 'employers' would try to sample for free. I give business advice in my consulting work and learned quickly that the 'free consult' client was trying to 'steal my product' (the information in my brain).

[irishjock]

I have never and will never agree to meet someone for the first time in a public place. No exceptions

.

 

I can see why you have this rule; it makes sense that (a) you could be stood up or (b) be set up for a dangerous situation. What workaround would you be willing to do if the client wanted to retain you for a dinner meet first, Juan?

[Steven_Draker]

... stories about men asking the escort to wait at a street corner, go to a coffee shop, a hotel bar, wait at a park

 

Isn't that the very definition of sending someone on a wild-goose chase?

 

Two sides in the picture: on one side the escort who needs to "cover his ass", on the other side the client, avoiding to be burned again ... but the meeting (if meeting occurs) needs to start somewhere ... somewhere in the middle, maybe.

[robberbaron4u]

Hmmmm. . .I don't consider suffering my presence at table, at my expense, in a first-class restaurant "working"; perhaps, however, I flatter myself. . .

[cany10011]

Robberbaron, you are very entertaining and I'm sure it would be a privilege to dine with you. I however, have not had the audacity to presume an escort would come and enjoy a first class meal with me, without any form or expectation of payment. Especially, one that is unknown to me. Regular escorts, on the other hand, jump at the opportunity to come to the opera or dine out and insist that payment is not required.

 

 

Hmmmm. . .I don't consider suffering my presence at table, at my expense, in a first-class restaurant "working"; perhaps, however, I flatter myself. . .

[irishjock]

Hmmmm. . .I don't consider suffering my presence at table, at my expense, in a first-class restaurant "working"; perhaps, however, I flatter myself. . .

 

I doubt that the chap would be suffering and I am sure you are charming; I am just wondering if part of this business is the interaction and company the client receives...and therefore part of the bundle of services? I doubt that I would want to meet a potential client for a dinner if I werent going to get paid for the proprietary information he is going to ask me. But I am projecting from my life as a business consultant... and I defer to everyone else here!

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

I guess the best thing to do since I'm doing this for the first time in 8 years after a bad experience, is go for the well-reviewed one

 

Yes.

 

It's likely you're going to become frustrated trying to find someone to do the other scenario... and besides, go with the known (at least known by others) quantity if you're getting back in the game. Talking may be erotic, but so is getting your money's worth.

 

FWIW, I've done the "meetup" thing both before and after actual meetings with clients. I'm almost always up for it if I don't have something going on afterwards. Many times clients (especially new or inexperienced ones) feel like they need to get back to "normal land" after getting together, and a neutral environment like a restaurant or coffeehouse is a great way to talk, rehash and get some post-sex grub.