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robberbaron4u
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Having been a successful rentboy who had given twenty years to the business, you make the decison to retire. You have money in the bank, you terminate a ten year domestic partnership to take up yet another with a "moneyed" partner. Being that you have an extended family to support, you invest your money in a $350,000 townhouse property to provide a home for them, and, you move in with your new domestic partner who, as measure of his love and devotion, puts your name on the deed to his $850,000 house. You don't have to work, just kick back and keep your significant other happy betweenest the sheets. Four years down the road, you are past 40, your body isn't quite as "awesome" as in your salad days, and, your partner has become "tight" in permitting you access to his checkbook. You discover he is seeing a hot Cuban boy on the side, and, you make the mistake of insisting he make a "choice". You end up on the sidewalk; you owe $12,000 in back taxes on the townhouse, you have an extended family to feed,and, you have no money in the bank. Apart from escorting and a "make-believe" fitness model career, you have no workskills. You have been working your black book, but, your former clients, apprised that you have put on some weight and look a little worn, are not responding to your solicitations. Of course, you can litigate a settlement on the house that you shared with your former partner, but, but it has lost value to the tune of $200,000, and, of course, he paid the mortgage and upkeep on the property. Or, you can sell the townhouse, which, too has lost just under $100,000 in value, and, hopefully, relocate your family under one roof in smaller "digs", or, perhaps, send them back "south of the border". What to do?

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robberbaron, that is quite a conundrum.

 

My biggest worry with so many young (and not so young) escorts I meet is their lack of planning for "just if" cases - just like this one; learning a profession, seeking a job (full- or part-time), getting a skill, getting a degree, having some marketable ability besides their natural assets. When guys do not think of tomorrow, your scenario plays out - as truly sad as it is. One of the reasons I have lately switched to older, more mature men who are escorting in their late 30's 40's and even 50's is that each one of them has a marketable skill or ability that brings him income, security, and a sense of accomplishment. Yes they also have had some messy private lives, and domestic partnerships that do not (or did not) work out, but when they had to move on or move out, they had choices, and that is what is most important. Also since they are successful, I avoid the pain of wanting to help a guy in a similar situation as the one you describe, which often implies quite a lay out of funds that I will never see again.

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Having been a successful rentboy who had given twenty years to the business, you make the decison to retire. You have money in the bank, you terminate a ten year domestic partnership to take up yet another with a "moneyed" partner. Being that you have an extended family to support, you invest your money in a $350,000 townhouse property to provide a home for them, and, you move in with your new domestic partner who, as measure of his love and devotion, puts your name on the deed to his $850,000 house. You don't have to work, just kick back and keep your significant other happy betweenest the sheets. Four years down the road, you are past 40, your body isn't quite as "awesome" as in your salad days, and, your partner has become "tight" in permitting you access to his checkbook. You discover he is seeing a hot Cuban boy on the side, and, you make the mistake of insisting he make a "choice". You end up on the sidewalk; you owe $12,000 in back taxes on the townhouse, you have an extended family to feed,and, you have no money in the bank. Apart from escorting and a "make-believe" fitness model career, you have no workskills. You have been working your black book, but, your former clients, apprised that you have put on some weight and look a little worn, are not responding to your solicitations. Of course, you can litigate a settlement on the house that you shared with your former partner, but, but it has lost value to the tune of $200,000, and, of course, he paid the mortgage and upkeep on the property. Or, you can sell the townhouse, which, too has lost just under $100,000 in value, and, hopefully, relocate your family under one roof in smaller "digs", or, perhaps, send them back "south of the border". What to do?

 

Just my opinion if I was the rentboy.

 

1) rent the townhouse out (get first, last and one month security up front) and live as close to as possible on the net rental income (less a small deposit monthly to a reserve for repairs). I know some people who rent and the tenant is nearly 100% responsible for repairs (except roof, major plumbing, other BIG stuff). Why sell and lock in the loss on the property when (although I don't know the area) its more likely to go up than down. Depreciate the townhouse on the tax return to all but offset the net rental income (property taxes are now dollar for dollar deductible against rental income without being impacted by alternative minimum tax). Depending on where he "has to" live, there are a lot of small towns where people can live cheap and likely rent housing cheap too. Encourage all the family members to get some form of employment and someday the townhouse will be worth at least what was paid, cash out and lock that money away.

2) negotiate a buyout on the former partner's property. If that doesn't work, that partner can't sell or further encumber the property without the rentboy signature and if something should happen to him the former partner is in a bigger bind to get title. If I was the partner, I'd want the rentboy off the deed and even payment over time (with a deed of trust & promissory note) is better than status quo until the former partner tries to sell. The rentboy should go on line every year to make sure the property taxes are being pad and the lender has his address for any default notices.

3) its amazing how cheaply people can get by if they really try and have some income coming in (rental and every family member having at least a minimum wage job and all living in the same house).

4) if the guy is good with his hands, good carpenters, plumbers, electricians have jobs nobody can take away.

 

Biggest mistake might be dumping the townhouse and then the money gets spent fast supporting everyone he currently feels responsible for - all why they haven't been forced into a lower standard of living. I'm an optimist. He could be worse off. He's got some assets and one in particular that could generate a monthly check.

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Having been a successful rentboy who had given twenty years to the business, you make the decison to retire. You have money in the bank, you terminate a ten year domestic partnership to take up yet another with a "moneyed" partner. Being that you have an extended family to support, you invest your money in a $350,000 townhouse property to provide a home for them, and, you move in with your new domestic partner who, as measure of his love and devotion, puts your name on the deed to his $850,000 house. You don't have to work, just kick back and keep your significant other happy betweenest the sheets. Four years down the road, you are past 40, your body isn't quite as "awesome" as in your salad days, and, your partner has become "tight" in permitting you access to his checkbook. You discover he is seeing a hot Cuban boy on the side, and, you make the mistake of insisting he make a "choice". You end up on the sidewalk; you owe $12,000 in back taxes on the townhouse, you have an extended family to feed,and, you have no money in the bank. Apart from escorting and a "make-believe" fitness model career, you have no workskills. You have been working your black book, but, your former clients, apprised that you have put on some weight and look a little worn, are not responding to your solicitations. Of course, you can litigate a settlement on the house that you shared with your former partner, but, but it has lost value to the tune of $200,000, and, of course, he paid the mortgage and upkeep on the property. Or, you can sell the townhouse, which, too has lost just under $100,000 in value, and, hopefully, relocate your family under one roof in smaller "digs", or, perhaps, send them back "south of the border". What to do?

 

Oh robber-baron, you scamp you! What movie studio or cable network are you pitching this scenario to? Leading us all down the brimstone path with your faux-sincerity!

 

Actually I love your idea and am only sorry that Italian grand opera - the only vehicle that could do this tragedy justice - is so far out of fashion and no longer the happening place in the arts world. Can't you just imagine what a Verdi or Puccini could do with a script like this? Instead, I'm afraid we'll have to settle for a creative team such as the guys who brought us "Rent."

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Guest Starbuck

Are Any Of These Conditions Exclusive To Escorts?

 

Failure to plan for the future, or to save for it ... failure to get (or the inability to afford) a good education ... ruinous divorces ... the poor judgment of living beyond our means, carrying too big a mortgage, "needing" too many fancy gadgets .... changing industry and market conditions that lead to joblessness or bankruptcy ... illness, disability, age discrimination and forced retirement ... simple old-fashioned bad luck.

 

It's not just about escorts. It's not Italian Grand Opera. It happens to people you know, people down the hall or down the street, people in your own hometown. All the time.

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Having been a successful rentboy who had given twenty years to the business, you make the decison to retire. You have money in the bank, you terminate a ten year domestic partnership to take up yet another with a "moneyed" partner. Being that you have an extended family to support, you invest your money in a $350,000 townhouse property to provide a home for them, and, you move in with your new domestic partner who, as measure of his love and devotion, puts your name on the deed to his $850,000 house. You don't have to work, just kick back and keep your significant other happy betweenest the sheets. Four years down the road, you are past 40, your body isn't quite as "awesome" as in your salad days, and, your partner has become "tight" in permitting you access to his checkbook. You discover he is seeing a hot Cuban boy on the side, and, you make the mistake of insisting he make a "choice". You end up on the sidewalk; you owe $12,000 in back taxes on the townhouse, you have an extended family to feed,and, you have no money in the bank. Apart from escorting and a "make-believe" fitness model career, you have no workskills. You have been working your black book, but, your former clients, apprised that you have put on some weight and look a little worn, are not responding to your solicitations. Of course, you can litigate a settlement on the house that you shared with your former partner, but, but it has lost value to the tune of $200,000, and, of course, he paid the mortgage and upkeep on the property. Or, you can sell the townhouse, which, too has lost just under $100,000 in value, and, hopefully, relocate your family under one roof in smaller "digs", or, perhaps, send them back "south of the border". What to do?

 

In most such cases, the guy would have dumped the rentboy (or other partner) anyway. When the rentboy forces a choice, he leaves open the possibility that the older guy will miss him later on. That wouldn't happen if the rentboy continued to cling onto a failing relationship.

I've looked at life from both sides now

From win and lose and still somehow

It's life's illusions I recall

I really don't know life at all

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Are Any Of These Conditions Exclusive To Escorts?[/color]

 

Failure to plan for the future, or to save for it ... failure to get (or the inability to afford) a good education ... ruinous divorces ... the poor judgment of living beyond our means, carrying too big a mortgage, "needing" too many fancy gadgets .... changing industry and market conditions that lead to joblessness or bankruptcy ... illness, disability, age discrimination and forced retirement ... simple old-fashioned bad luck.

 

It's not just about escorts. It's not Italian Grand Opera. It happens to people you know, people down the hall or down the street, people in your own hometown. All the time.

 

Well okay, maybe not Grand Opera, but certainly a cable series or at least a made for TV movie. Really, the scenario RB enumerated is somewhat over the top - but maybe not for some of us. I too live a more simple life, I guess.

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Guest Starbuck
Well okay, maybe not Grand Opera, but certainly a cable series or at least a made for TV movie. Really, the scenario RB enumerated is somewhat over the top - but maybe not for some of us. I too live a more simple life, I guess.

 

philmusc, no slap intended ... and I agree that RB was painting a dramatic picture ... I just needed to point out the obvious: how many people's lives derail for one reason or another. I'm acutely aware of it right now since I'm just back from visiting my son in DC--where there are plenty of people (at least a couple that I saw in wheelchairs, more than a few of them veterans who've served their country)--sleeping in the streets on very cold nights. Probably not a very different scene from most big cities, but still a gut-wrenching one.

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First, thank you for sharing your story.

Second, it's good you're bringing this up for other professionals who are considering a long-term career in this industry.

This is not the first time this has happened, and luckily many people before you have recovered from the loss and moved on to

lives more fulfilling than they originally thought possible.

 

Life is not fair to anyone. Young or old, weak or strong, it's all a big mess with only meaning that we assign to it.

Which is great, because even when things are in the shitter, you decide how you want your life to be.

 

The big questions are:

Who are YOU?

and what do YOU want out of life?

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