Is There a Tactful Way to Tell an Escort That He should Think About Another Career?

[Tommy_chelsea]

Is there a tactful way to tell an escort that he should consider another career? I'm not trying to be funny or bitchy, I'm being serious.

 

Last night I hired an escort whose ad has been on Rentboy for over a year. He has not been reviewed anywhere, but I took a chance on him.

It turned out that I was his very first client. Now this could have been sexy and fun, but I realized that he was in no way ready for escorting. I'm not providing his name because I will not be posting a review. Nothing happened to review. We talked for a bit, and I made him something to eat.

 

His ad says he is 36, but is there such a thing as a 36-year-old twink?

 

This is not the first time that I have contacted, and met up with an escort who is not ready for escorting. There was an escort here in New York who went by the name of "Chris". In theory, he was definitely my type ("the guy next door"). but when he showed up, he was not ready to go through with what we had discussed previously. Again, I turned out to be his very first client.

 

These are not bad guys - actually the guy last night was rather sweet, but very naieve. I wanted to tell him that he should drop his ad from Rentboy and look for something else to do, but did not want to be insulting.

 

I wish there was a "finishing school" for escorts, where pros like Dane Scott and Kevin Slater could coach guys interested in escorting.

This would be helpful both to newbies and potential clients.

[maninsoma]

Something doesn't add up. This guy's ad has been running on Rentboy for an entire year but you're his first client? Sorry, I'm calling B.S. on that.

[Tommy_chelsea]

Maybe so, but his ad is towards the back of the listings on Rentboy. The only way I found his ad is when I made a search for escorts who bottom.

 

From his behavior I got the impression that he was new to escorting.

[+ Travis69]

Did you pay both of these guys? Was there any sex at all? Do you maybe think this is their scam playing innocent and hoping for your pity?

[maninsoma]

Did you pay both of these guys? Was there any sex at all? Do you maybe think this is their scam playing innocent and hoping for your pity?

 

That's my assumption. Unlike some websites, I don't think Rentboy keeps ads up for an entire year unless someone continues to pay for it. I just find it difficult to believe that someone could run an ad for a year before he got his first client, unless the escort's ad was not appealing in some way (unattractive photos, bad attitude comes across in the text, ridiculous fee expectation).

[robberbaron4u]

No, on occasion, "YOU'RE A LOUSY LAY: GET A DAY JOB" can be a kindness and not an insult.

[Glenn1441]

That's my assumption. Unlike some websites, I don't think Rentboy keeps ads up for an entire year unless someone continues to pay for it. I just find it difficult to believe that someone could run an ad for a year before he got his first client, unless the escort's ad was not appealing in some way (unattractive photos, bad attitude comes across in the text, ridiculous fee expectation).

 

You are correct. Rentboy ads are removed from current listings when the fee is not paid... Most longtime advertisers use auto-renew, just like a cruising site like Manhunt.

[Tommy_chelsea]

No, I didn't pay either guy. I did feed them, but they got no money.

 

I believe that the "Chris" I referred to in my original message has been discussed on Daddy's previously. His ad is no longer on Rentboy.

 

I don't think either guy was a scammer. I just think that they did not think the idea of becoming an escort thoroughly.

[Juan Vancouver]

I'd like to ad to what has already been said. It jumped at me the minute I read your post.

 

A year of advertisement on Rentboy would cost more than 500 dollars. You have to renew every single month and it is not cheap. Regardless of how hard one might hope one will one day get a job out of it, I can't imagine anyone spending that kind of money without having gotten anything back.

 

This makes me think that somehow he is able to make his money back plus a profit. And I don't mean being fed by clients who pity them. Clearly it is a business model that works for them, of which you know absolutely nothing.

 

It is my personal opinion that you have absolutely no business in telling them what they should do or how bad they are at anything. Especially in a business in which there is always a client that will be looking for what a specific escort is offering, expecting your personal assessment to be universal and true is not possible.

 

I know that there are clients who lap up the "Poor me, I'm just a poor lonely and dumb boy" routine. In the past we have seen in this message board escorts who perfected this brand and it worked well for many clients. Clients who decide to take such escorts under their wing; clients that are constantly looking for a project, a son, a dysfunctional broken child to dote on. They often feel very happy to find a poor little escort who has been advertising for a year without having had one single client!. (The poor dear!)

 

It's not a lie; it's a product. A product for which there is demand.

 

If he is not for you, let him know as soon as he gets there. Make it clear you are not willing to go ahead with the session and if you feel generous pay for his cab or half of the session. And then let him go. Just because he is not for you it doesn't mean he is not good for someone else, and it doesn't give you the right to be rude while wanting to be honest.

 

Just because you don't wear sandals, you shouldn't go to sandal stores to let the sandals know they are not proper footwear.

Dont like'em? Don't wear'em!

 

It's a clumsy analogy but I think it is descriptive enough. I hope this gives a different perspective.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

That sure would be a lot of income lost for RM, RB and M4RN if only the escorts who should be escorting actually did it. And besides, think of all the people who have been famously told: "you'll never amount to anything in this business, kid."

[+ Oliver]

... think of all the people who have been famously told: "you'll never amount to anything in this business, kid."

 

" ... Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star ..."

[Irtwo]

A year of advertisement on Rentboy would cost more than 500 dollars.

 

That's actually cheaper than I thought it was, that's only $42 for a month. Unless they require you to do a minimum amount of months.

[Juan Vancouver]

That's actually cheaper than I thought it was, that's only $42 for a month. Unless they require you to do a minimum amount of months.

 

No, they don't require you to do more than a month at a time. The prices depend on location but the cheapest type of ad on the cheapest location will run around 40 bucks give or take. There are very expensive locations, like New York, where the most expensive kind of ad can be 150 a month, and even more if you bid for the platinum ad. Kevin can correct me if I am way off base.

[instudiocity]

The answer to the OP's question is, "Yes, saying, "Honey, this business isn't for you, I know because of the way you presented yourself to me, how you handled our encounter. Save your money and go hire a top rated escort for yourself."

[Guest Starbuck]

My reaction to Irishguy's post was to think that the young man in question was fortunate to be hired by such a nice guy--one who had some genuine human concern for him (even cooked for him!) despite the disappointment of false advertising. I see nothing offensive in Irishguy thinking of suggesting that the young man might want to consider alternative employment.

 

No one has the right to make such suggestions? C'mon! Get real! People are told by bosses, colleagues and customers EVERY DAY that they are in the wrong line of work. Sometimes the message is meant to be rude; other times it's not only accurate but helpful. It's entirely clear that Irishguy's only interest was in being helpful. If the young man in question is a scammer, well, he sucks at that too since he got no money out of the client. And if not being ready and willing to do what he advertises is some sort of strategy to dupe bleeding heart clients, it is the most idiotic "business model" (!!!) I've ever heard of ... I mean, how often must it amount to nothing more than wasted time on the part of this "escort" and his prospective clients? So even if we want to glorify such nonsense with the term "business model," I'd still be inclined to question the sense of this "escort's" endeavor. A well-intentioned conversation in which suggestions are made never has to be rude.

 

As to squandering somewhere around $500 on advertising that hadn't paid off over the course of a year, who knows what this "escort's" backstory is. Maybe he's a trust fund baby who thought escorting sounded easy and fun and less demanding than an office job. Maybe he HAS an office job and, thus, enough of an income to pay for an ad that he thought might be an easy means of supplemental income. There are loads of possibilities ... and nothing that makes squandering $500 over the course of a year sound all that improbable. I mean, is there anyone here who never squandered $500 on something that turned out to be a big waste of money? And squandered it in a lot less time than a year? Think hard, gentlemen!

[Bosguy]

" ... Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star ..."

 

Didn't you mean "A HUNG STAR" ?

 

Boston Bill

[JoeyBryant]

It is my personal opinion that you have absolutely no business in telling them what they should do or how bad they are at anything. Especially in a business in which there is always a client that will be looking for what a specific escort is offering, expecting your personal assessment to be universal and true is not possible.

 

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[Steven_Draker]

...it doesn't give you the right to be rude while wanting to be honest.

 

I don't think the OP is being rude, but despite his good intentions, feeding the escort sends the wrong message.

 

We live in a world where so many people say things they don't really mean. The OP is not one of them. Often honesty is the best way.

[EZEtoGRU]

We live in a world where so many people say things they don't really mean. The OP is not one of them. Often honesty is the best way.[/color]

 

So true. When someone is so ill-suited for something, I think one is doing a disservice to the individual by not telling them so. Whether they want to hear the truth or not is another issue. It takes some people a long time to "wake up"....some never do. That should not stop me from being honest in trying to help. Encouraging the person to continue doing what they are doing just prolongs that persons lack of success/satisfaction in the escort field. Just my 2 cents.

 

BTW, I utilized my own advice on an escort in LA about 18 months ago. He came to my hotel. Couldn't perform well and clearly did not fit the part. After the "act" (and after I paid him), he stayed around for a chat and some champagne. He was actually a pretty pleasant chap. I told him what I thought about his performance and what his chances were in having a fruitful escort business (he had zero chance). He appeared interested in my views and seemed to take it in. Two weeks later his RB ad disappeared. It re-appeared for a few days about a month after and then disappeared again and I have not seen it since. Some people are open to receiving good advice and some people are not. Either way, I will keep speaking the truth.

[JoeyBryant]

BTW, I utilized my own advice on an escort in LA about 18 months ago. He came to my hotel. Couldn't perform well and clearly did not fit the part. I told him what I thought about his performance and what his chances were in having a fruitful escort business (he had zero chance).

 

One of my 1st (actually, THE FIRST) rentboy call I took...I couldn't perform well either. It was a scenario where I went to a hotel and the client wanted to watch me do another escort. I was new, feeling under pressure...but dammit it could have been a very hot encounter. But guess what? Down the line, I was called to do a few guys in front of a whole GROUP of people...and no issues once so ever. If that guy would have said I wasn't cut out for it..and I believed it, I would have never even...God, it's hard to even fathom what would have happened if I'd of taken it.

 

But guess what, that 1 experience didn't mean I wouldn't be able to do better in the future. Besides, there's been times where we as escorts, have all encountered 'situations' where the 'chemistry' wasn't 'brewing'. You may just end up being that 1 client where it just doesn't brew. Doesn't mean that the person isn't cut out for the work. Just means it didn't work for you.

 

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[jimboivyo]

bottom line, a great escort can perform when he needs to, no questions asked

 

it's like michael jordan missing the three pointer during the finals: It just doesn't happen and when it does, he takes major grief for it and rightfully so

 

You can find a way to self justify anything in life, but at the end of the day a good escort is being paid to make sure everything just works the way it should

[EZEtoGRU]

One of my 1st (actually, THE FIRST) rentboy call I took...I couldn't perform well either. It was a scenario where I went to a hotel and the client wanted to watch me do another escort. I was new, feeling under pressure...but dammit it could have been a very hot encounter. But guess what? Down the line, I was called to do a few guys in front of a whole GROUP of people...and no issues once so ever. If that guy would have said I wasn't cut out for it..and I believed it, I would have never even...God, it's hard to even fathom what would have happened if I'd of taken it.

 

But guess what, that 1 experience didn't mean I wouldn't be able to do better in the future. Besides, there's been times where we as escorts, have all encountered 'situations' where the 'chemistry' wasn't 'brewing'. You may just end up being that 1 client where it just doesn't brew. Doesn't mean that the person isn't cut out for the work. Just means it didn't work for you.

 

Wrong again. He wasn't cut out for the biz and he seemingly dropped out of it. There are more details to the story than I mentioned in my initial comments. I wasn't his first customer but I suspect that I was amongst his last. Suffice to say, the escorting field was not going to be kind to him.

 

Our discussion seemed to resonate with him. He may actually have been one of the smart ones who was open to listening. Of course, I do not know for a fact that the conversation we had made the real difference for him.....all I know is he is gone from the field (and its been more than a year).

 

Keep on doing what you're doing Joey and you will get the same results over and over and over.

[jimboivyo]

Keep on doing what you're doing Joey and you will get the same results over and over and over.

 

aint that the truth. from your keyboard to God's ears!

 

then again, the unwise already know everything. you can't tell them a thing.

[JoeyBryant]

Keep on doing what you're doing Joey and you will get the same results over and over and over.

 

What the fuck are you talking about? I simply gave an example of what I was able to accomplish, despite perhaps it may not have been able to with a (very first) client...as was what the OP was discussing (if it truley was this person's first client). Moral of story: Just because the time YOU spent with so and so doesn't mean that escort won't do better with the next John Doe...Juan Vancouver already said it. Don't get mad at me because I'm in agreeance with him. You didn't get mad at Juan, so don't get all crazy with me.

 

In reality, it doesn't mean shit what the fuck you have to say to an escort. What really matters is that escort's drive and determination to do better. As I always say, "let the words of discouragement serve as means of ENCOURAGEMENT".

 

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[EZEtoGRU]

What the fuck are you talking about?

 

In reality, it doesn't mean shit what the fuck you have to say to an escort.

 

What a charming young man.