Letting Good Prospects Get Away

[Guest Starbuck]

Ever since the thread on business being slower this year was started, I've wondered if escorts are letting too many good prospects slip through their fingers. Just within the last two months, I've had these experiences:

 

1. I made an appointment by phone three weeks in advance. The escort was so difficult to talk with--practically monosyllabic in response to everything I said, with nothing in his voice that suggested interest or friendliness--that I wondered why I'd made the appointment. I contacted him the next day to cancel and scheduled that time with another guy for what turned out to be a great session.

 

2. I exchanged a few emails with an escort (email was indicated as an acceptable way to begin communications); we agreed on a date to meet, but hadn't confirmed a time. In each of my emails I said, "Tell me a good time to call you so we can firm up the details." He never asked me to call; instead, he stopped communicating.

 

3. I sent an inquiry through an escort's website. Never heard a word back. If he didn't want to receive initial contacts that way, why not limit the information under the Contact link to a phone number?

 

Each of the gentlemen in question is a well-reviewed escort. While I understand the need to screen for undesirables and time-wasters, I was serious and respectful in each of my communications. I doubt my experience is unique and, if not, I wonder if the first consideration for improving business (for SOME guys, not ALL) might be better communication.

 

I value and admire the communication skills of the escorts I've met--and those of another fellow who isn't going to be in town when I'm going to be there, but was prompt and gracious in his response to me, leaving me with the feeling that I'd like to try again another time.

[jimboivyo]

Ever since the thread on business being slower this year was started, I've wondered if escorts are letting too many good prospects slip through their fingers. Just within the last two months, I've had these experiences:

 

1. I made an appointment by phone three weeks in advance. The escort was so difficult to talk with--practically monosyllabic in response to everything I said, with nothing in his voice that suggested interest or friendliness--that I wondered why I'd made the appointment. I contacted him the next day to cancel and scheduled that time with another guy for what turned out to be a great session.

 

2. I exchanged a few emails with an escort (email was indicated as an acceptable way to begin communications); we agreed on a date to meet, but hadn't confirmed a time. In each of my emails I said, "Tell me a good time to call you so we can firm up the details." He never asked me to call; instead, he stopped communicating.

 

3. I sent an inquiry through an escort's website. Never heard a word back. If he didn't want to receive initial contacts that way, why not limit the information under the Contact link to a phone number?

 

Each of the gentlemen in question is a well-reviewed escort. While I understand the need to screen for undesirables and time-wasters, I was serious and respectful in each of my communications. I doubt my experience is unique and, if not, I wonder if the first consideration for improving business (for SOME guys, not ALL) might be better communication.

 

I value and admire the communication skills of the escorts I've met--and those of another fellow who isn't going to be in town when I'm going to be there, but was prompt and gracious in his response to me, leaving me with the feeling that I'd like to try again another time.

 

 

perhaps its how you word things, a perceived attitude or a dozen other issues you can't control. you're complaining about things that plague a biz that's highly unregulated. just move on from one guy and go to the next if they don't communicate as you would like.

[geoffk]

anything is possible, but many listed escorts just don't respond, i guess not response just means they are busy or not interested.

[+ azdr0710]

I'm sure we've all experienced the variety of responses you mention, Starbuck....it can get very frustrating to me because I'm a good guy, pose no threat, write in a friendly and specific manner, really want to meet/see some of these dudes, and then....nothing

 

one thing that seems to be a common trend in these days of smartphones/texting/emails is a complete halt in communication seemingly in the middle of a convo....it might be more common with these hookup/escort dealings, I admit....not even a "thanks, sorry" or "this isn't going to work out, bye" or "appreciate the reply".....

 

hints for better answers might be to put a specific location and date directly in the subject line, be brief and to-the-point in the text, describe yourself, ask the escort if he has questions for you, and thank him for his time...make it sound like you're ready to do it

[bigvalboy]

I don't see that Starbuck is complaining so much, but rather wondering why there is not more common courtesy when it comes to escorts responding to communication. Unfortunately like many businesses, and dealing with people in general, there are those that conduct themselves professionally and those that don't. The species is flawed. Over the many decades that I have been hiring, I try not to take any of this personally. It is what it is, and I feel more often than not, that when an escort conducts himself unprofessionally early on, then I feel like I just saved myself a whole lot of money. and then I just move on down the road. If I get stood up or an escort chooses to ignore me, then I take that money I would have spent on him and do something special for me, like hiring someone that appreciates what I bring to the table, or taking a friend to a fabulous dinner overlooking the ocean and sipping on a fine Merlot. Often times, what they did or did not do, will seem like a distant memory.

[Glenn1441]

Agreed... Starbuck makes it clear that this thread is something of a response to another, escort-initiated thread concerning a slow season. I've had very similar experiences as he, adhering to the escort's preferred method of communication. I never take a lame or poor exchange personally -- how could I? The escort does not know me from a can of paint (thanks Queen Latifah)... And while it is frustrating that clients must now Image Search nearly every new face that enters the biz, along with one's own preferred screening process, the fact is that on Rentboy Manhattan, for instance, there are available approximately 400-escorts daily (I realize those living in smaller cities or towns do not have such a large selection from which to choose, but then again, said selection may be a curse and not a blessing). Should an escort in whom I have an interest not respond, or, respond in a way that sets off a 'red flag' gut reaction, then I move on. In no hurry to waste money, I am happy to take my time to find the right guy.

 

 

I don't see that Starbuck is complaining so much, but rather wondering why there is not more common courtesy when it comes to escorts responding to communication. Unfortunately like many businesses, and dealing with people in general, there are those that conduct themselves professionally and those that don't. The species is flawed. Over the many decades that I have been hiring, I try not to take any of this personally. It is what it is, and I feel more often than not, that when an escort conducts himself unprofessionally early on, then I feel like I just saved myself a whole lot of money. and then I just move on down the road. If I get stood up or an escort chooses to ignore me, then I take that money I would have spent on him and do something special for me, like hiring someone that appreciates what I bring to the table, or taking a friend to a fabulous dinner overlooking the ocean and sipping on a fine Merlot. Often times, what they did or did not do, will seem like a distant memory.

[Guest Starbuck]

jimboivyo ... I'm just saying that I never worked in any business in which good communication wasn't a key to success. By sharing a few of my own recent experiences, I was illustrating my point. I agree that "moving on" is sometimes the only option (refer to my first example).

 

azdr ... You wrote: "It can get very frustrating to me because I'm a good guy, pose no threat, write in a friendly and specific manner, really want to meet/see some of these dudes, and then....nothing." ... I say DITTO to all of that, except that I always feel more puzzled than frustrated.

 

BVB ... Choosing another guy (again, refer to my ultimate good fortune in example #1), a lobster stew with an ocean view, a fine--well, how about a cabernet--all good.

 

Glenn ... You make exactly the right point--"In no hurry to waste money, I am happy to take my time to find the right guy." That's a client perspective for every escort--frankly, for anybody in any business--to consider.

[cany10011]

Starbuck, i wouldn't let their lack of response dissuade you from periodically contacting them again. Sometimes they are just busy or have other competing interests and lack the maturity to respond. I'd try to give them the benefit of doubt. Anyhow, i'm just saying this because i met up with a guy on Adam4Adam a few years ago and initially he never responded to my emails over a 6-8 time period (i just presumed he was busy with other clients and/or school) and one month after my last email to him he responded! Ever since, he has been a weekly regular of mine for the past 3 years.

 

 

 

 

jimboivyo ... I'm just saying that I never worked in any business in which good communication wasn't a key to success. By sharing a few of my own recent experiences, I was illustrating my point. I agree that "moving on" is sometimes the only option (refer to my first example).

 

azdr ... You wrote: "It can get very frustrating to me because I'm a good guy, pose no threat, write in a friendly and specific manner, really want to meet/see some of these dudes, and then....nothing." ... I say DITTO to all of that, except that I always feel more puzzled than frustrated.

 

BVB ... Choosing another guy (again, refer to my ultimate good fortune in example #1), a lobster stew with an ocean view, a fine--well, how about a cabernet--all good.

 

Glenn ... You make exactly the right point--"In no hurry to waste money, I am happy to take my time to find the right guy." That's a client perspective for every escort--frankly, for anybody in any business--to consider.

[Steven_Draker]

Starbuck, i wouldn't let their lack of response dissuade you from periodically contacting them again. Sometimes they are just busy or have other competing interests and lack the maturity to respond. I'd try to give them the benefit of doubt. Anyhow, i'm just saying this because i met up with a guy on Adam4Adam a few years ago and initially he never responded to my emails over a 6-8 time period (i just presumed he was busy with other clients and/or school) and one month after my last email to him he responded! Ever since, he has been a weekly regular of mine for the past 3 years.

 

Wow! You're such a gentleman, cany10011. More power to you!

[JoeyBryant]

1. I made an appointment by phone three weeks in advance.

 

2. I exchanged a few emails with an escort. Tell me a good time to call you so we can firm up the details." He never asked me to call; instead, he stopped communicating.

 

3. I sent an inquiry through an escort's website.

 

An appointment by phone 3 weeks in advance is a bit far ahead. I generally prefer not to unless it's an overnight and deposit sent. As for the rest, emails and stuff just isn't the best way. I'd just say call the person instead. If they don't respond, then oh well.

 

As for letting good prospects get away...there's alot of fucking shit to sift through in trying to do this. You as a client are competing not so much with other clients or better offers. But also alot of bullshit. People just bullshitting about bullshit. Things just get exasperated when I have 3 people texting me all at once, and then people want to go, ???, are you there? hello??? when you don't respond back right away. Then, serious texts have to get ignored because I have to divert attention to the one blowing my phone up.

 

I know this may sound anti-proactive from an escort's stance...but I think clients should be a bit more pro-active themselves. If someone doesn't reply or return your call, call them back. Send that email again. I just had a guy get mad at me tonight because I was apparently supposed to have called him back when I was here as he was 'waiting on me'. But we didn't plan anything, I just mentioned the day I would get into town and we'd touch base when I did. He got all mad at me because I forgot to call him back. I'm like I'm sorry...but what was stopping him from getting ahold of me like anyone else would?

 

It's like dayum, I'm traveling all day. I'm trying to make sure I remember I put my phone in my right pocket and my wallet in the back, and to make sure I get to my destination on time or don't miss a flight. Shit gets forgotten, and I simply can't write down every single call and text I receive. Now, if we set an established time together and I have an address already, that's different. But random calls all day long asking, "when are you in (fill in city) and to call them when I arrive is probably going to slip through the cracks.

[Guest Starbuck]

I met up with a guy on Adam4Adam a few years ago and initially he never responded to my emails over a 6-8 time period (i just presumed he was busy with other clients and/or school) and one month after my last email to him he responded! Ever since, he has been a weekly regular of mine for the past 3 years.

 

I doubt that most of us could maintain interest after being ignored 6-8 times for whatever reasons. Or is that just me? But I'm glad it worked out for you, cany, and since you've become a weekly client for the past three years, I trust that the gentleman you reference is grateful for the rare good fortune of 6th, 7th and 8th chances.

[Guest Starbuck]

An appointment by phone 3 weeks in advance is a bit far ahead. I generally prefer not to unless it's an overnight and deposit sent. As for the rest, emails and stuff just isn't the best way. I'd just say call the person instead. If they don't respond, then oh well.

 

As for letting good prospects get away...there's alot of fucking shit to sift through in trying to do this. You as a client are competing not so much with other clients or better offers. But also alot of bullshit. People just bullshitting about bullshit. Things just get exasperated when I have 3 people texting me all at once, and then people want to go, ???, are you there? hello??? when you don't respond back right away. Then, serious texts have to get ignored because I have to divert attention to the one blowing my phone up.

 

I know this may sound anti-proactive from an escort's stance...but I think clients should be a bit more pro-active themselves. If someone doesn't reply or return your call, call them back. Send that email again. I just had a guy get mad at me tonight because I was apparently supposed to have called him back when I was here as he was 'waiting on me'. But we didn't plan anything, I just mentioned the day I would get into town and we'd touch base when I did. He got all mad at me because I forgot to call him back. I'm like I'm sorry...but what was stopping him from getting ahold of me like anyone else would?

 

It's like dayum, I'm traveling all day. I'm trying to make sure I remember I put my phone in my right pocket and my wallet in the back, and to make sure I get to my destination on time or don't miss a flight. Shit gets forgotten, and I simply can't write down every single call and text I receive. Now, if we set an established time together and I have an address already, that's different. But random calls all day long asking, "when are you in (fill in city) and to call them when I arrive is probably going to slip through the cracks.

 

Joey, I feel your pain. Anyone who has ever been in business has felt your pain. We have all, to use your phrase, "sifted through a lot of fucking shit." Retaining clients and getting new ones IS THE HARD WORK OF BEING IN BUSINESS. How we go about it--how diligently, how positively, with how much intelligence, determination and skill--sets each of us up for success, failure or the unhappy middle ground of not-good-enough.

[Michael Wayne]

I answer all inquires nicely and politely within 24 hours...hopefully sooner. Only time I would not is if I am booked on a weekend multi day appointment. Then as soon as I am done I will reply. I actually LOVE advance appointments. Guys schedule their doctor months ahead so why not thieri stud? http://www.rentboy.com/magicmikey

[jimboivyo]

An appointment by phone 3 weeks in advance is a bit far ahead. I generally prefer not to unless it's an overnight and deposit sent. As for the rest, emails and stuff just isn't the best way. I'd just say call the person instead. If they don't respond, then oh well.

 

As for letting good prospects get away...there's alot of fucking shit to sift through in trying to do this. You as a client are competing not so much with other clients or better offers. But also alot of bullshit. People just bullshitting about bullshit. Things just get exasperated when I have 3 people texting me all at once, and then people want to go, ???, are you there? hello??? when you don't respond back right away. Then, serious texts have to get ignored because I have to divert attention to the one blowing my phone up.

 

I know this may sound anti-proactive from an escort's stance...but I think clients should be a bit more pro-active themselves. If someone doesn't reply or return your call, call them back. Send that email again. I just had a guy get mad at me tonight because I was apparently supposed to have called him back when I was here as he was 'waiting on me'. But we didn't plan anything, I just mentioned the day I would get into town and we'd touch base when I did. He got all mad at me because I forgot to call him back. I'm like I'm sorry...but what was stopping him from getting ahold of me like anyone else would?

 

It's like dayum, I'm traveling all day. I'm trying to make sure I remember I put my phone in my right pocket and my wallet in the back, and to make sure I get to my destination on time or don't miss a flight. Shit gets forgotten, and I simply can't write down every single call and text I receive. Now, if we set an established time together and I have an address already, that's different. But random calls all day long asking, "when are you in (fill in city) and to call them when I arrive is probably going to slip through the cracks.

 

 

this isn't the response of a good sales man. that's all I have to say about that

 

as for booking in advance, some escorts prefer that and it works for them. what doesn't work for you might work wonders for someone else

[cany10011]

Joey, as a client, i appreciate that traveling guys may not have full access to email or what not right away and am always inclined to text or call as a follow up to make sure they got my email or that they know that I'm serious about meeting A traveling guy i met recently (i usually stick with locals for many reasons) told me how 3 guys called to confirm an incall and he waited around the hotel all day and yet, not 1 showed up or called to cancel. So, i feel your pain too....

[JoeyBryant]

this isn't the response of a good sales man. that's all I have to say about that

 

as for booking in advance, some escorts prefer that and it works for them. what doesn't work for you might work wonders for someone else

 

You're absolutely right. I'm not a salesman. I don't think people want to have sex with a 'salesman'. Unless they want to get a discount

 

As far as booking in advance...nothing wrong with it. I get booked in advance all the time. But...In my experience a lot can come up in 3 weeks usually on the client's end. And usually that amounts to cancellations.

 

Now, if you're talking about flying me out somewhere, and you have to get the tickets 3 weeks in advance...then yes.

 

Guys schedule their doctor months ahead so why not thieri stud? http://www.rentboy.com/magicmikey

 

I understand that, but it's just not reality in this business. I'd say maybe 99.9% who book 'months' ahead are going to be jettisoned off the planet before that time even comes around. Then they'll claim to 'have called so many people, remind me who you are again'.

 

Whereas if you're going to get reconstructive knee surgery, you need to plan months ahead of time because you're not going to be able to walk for awhile.