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red flag?


wearytraveller
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Rookie/newbie question. I email a masseur on masseurfinder who has numerous good reviews and tell him I will be in his city in a few days. I tell him I will need him to host and ask him where in general he is located. It takes two emails to get a response. His response is "Just call me when you get in town" and he leaves phone number (same as on the ad). My experience with well reviewed and better escorts is that while they may be unwilling to discuss the details of the proposed encounter, they are usually more responsive to emails. Is this a red flag or am I just being overly sensitive?

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Rookie/newbie question. I email a masseur on masseurfinder who has numerous good reviews and tell him I will be in his city in a few days. I tell him I will need him to host and ask him where in general he is located. It takes two emails to get a response. His response is "Just call me when you get in town" and he leaves phone number (same as on the ad). My experience with well reviewed and better escorts is that while they may be unwilling to discuss the details of the proposed encounter, they are usually more responsive to emails. Is this a red flag or am I just being overly sensitive?

 

For me I don't see any red flags yet. Francois is correct. I think there is a difference between escorting and masseurs. If it was an escort I would have expected a better response, but in this case, my feeling is that the masseur, assuming that he is demand, probably gets countless enquiries into his services. He is basically saying to you, when you are actually here, then will talk. I don't always get massages when I travel, but on the occasions that I have contacted a masseur ahead of my arrival, many times I have gotten the exact same response.

 

As clients we always talk about no-shows, and in reality they are few and far between, but I would imagine for a masseur that they get dozens of promises for a hire, without the client ever actually showing up. Anyway just my opinion.

the greatest beauty is

Organic wholeness, the wholeness of life and things,

the divine beauty of the universe.

Love that, not man apart from that,

or else you will share man’s pitiful confusions,

or drown in despair when his days darken."

 

- Robinson Jeffers

 

B e l i e v e

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For me I don't see any red flags yet. Francois is correct. I think there is a difference between escorting and masseurs. If it was an escort I would have expected a better response, but in this case, my feeling is that the masseur, assuming that he is demand, probably gets countless enquiries into his services. He is basically saying to you, when you are actually here, then will talk. I don't always get massages when I travel, but on the occasions that I have contacted a masseur ahead of my arrival, many times I have gotten the exact same response.

 

As clients we always talk about no-shows, and in reality they are few and far between, but I would imagine for a masseur that they get dozens of promises for a hire, without the client ever actually showing up. Anyway just my opinion.

 

+1 - not to mention many masseurs will be hesitant to give up their address of work for fear of a police sting or worse. And as Francois pointed out, many of them are not - and do not want to be considered - escorts. They might put an ad on a gay site but that is to drum up legitimate business and new clients.

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His curtness is not an indication of the massage quality. That being said many clients have expressed that they can't proceed beyond an answer like that.

 

If you feel that you've been miffed by his curt response in any way, probably you can find another provider that can offer the responsiveness you're looking for.

 

Either way I wish you good luck.

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Hi Wearytraveller,

 

It sounds as though you were trying to be accommodating to this masseur by getting a place that would be convenient for him, since you will be hosting. And it sounds to me as if he might be really reluctant to signal even his general location to a complete stranger prior to that person’s arrival in town.

 

In the future, instead of asking him “where in general he is located,” you might go with a slightly vaguer question: “Given that I will be hosting, is there a particular area of town that you might recommend?” That way, he could signal what would be convenient for him without actually noting that he’s recommending it because it’s convenient to him.

 

I’ve never hired a masseur, but I’ve used this approach with escorts when I’ve travelled, and it seems to have worked out well.

 

Good luck!

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What you report is very typical for a response for a first time meeting and I would not take anything to heart. You are aware that on masseurfinder under the section Hours and Map you can access a general location; I've never run into a situation where that information has been misleading, almost always within a block or two of specified intersection or description. Getting a more specific response before booking an actual appointment is probably not going to happen. Also most guys want you in their cities before actually booking an appt - that way they don't get impacted by cancelled flights, delayed flights, denied boarding etc so that is also very typical. Once you've seen a guy, things will be much easier the second time around as he know's you are not a time waster.

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Guest countryboywny
His curtness is not an indication of the massage quality. That being said many clients have expressed that they can't proceed beyond an answer like that.

 

I would be one of those clients. Since he didn't respond to your first email, then after your second he responds with an apparent "attitude", I would move on.

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Rookie/newbie question. I email a masseur on masseurfinder who has numerous good reviews and tell him I will be in his city in a few days. I tell him I will need him to host and ask him where in general he is located. It takes two emails to get a response. His response is "Just call me when you get in town" and he leaves phone number (same as on the ad). My experience with well reviewed and better escorts is that while they may be unwilling to discuss the details of the proposed encounter, they are usually more responsive to emails. Is this a red flag or am I just being overly sensitive?

 

Some escorts get tired with flakes who never close the deal.

I email first, and call later to make plans.

Did you try to set an appointment in advance with by phone call him? A specific time and place? That's the clear sign you are for real.

Liberal, born and raised in Maryland, proud member of pink pistols!

Ignore list: WilliamM

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I would not be offended by his response. I get a lot of massages, and over the years, and find that I get a much better response when they know that I am actually in their town. If I make a general inquiry as you did, I usually say the exact dates that I will be in their city, approximately when I would like the massage and ask them if they will be available then. Some guys limit the number of massages they give in a day, and even if he posts that he gives an erotic massage, he may prefer to talk to you, rather than engage in a lot of emails. If he is someone that you think you will enjoy, just follow through when you get to the city where he gives massage.

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I don't disagree that some guys quite legitimately want to avoid the flakes and don't want to commit unless the client is serious. I usually like to send an initial "Hi, how are you, where are you located, I may be in your local" type of email to see what the response is. In this case it was exactly that, Hi I will be in your city, I may be looking to meet up, just wondering where you are in general". Usually I get "Hey, I'm ..... let me know if you're interested, enjoy your trip." In this case it was "call me" ... I dunno, I guess I was just expecting more. It's not like this guy was my life's dream, he just seemed interesting, I guess I wasn't interesting enough :p

 

Once again I appreciate the comments, input and advice. It's nice to have a place like this to chat about these things :) Thanks guys!

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The quality of service being provided, start at the add, the reply to enquiry, then the actual appointment, and finished with follow up.

 

I judge at all stages, and a response like that would make me look elsewhere.

 

The working mans time is precious, so is the clients.

 

I like to have something set up before I rock into town, happy to agree to confirm by text or phone call at a specified time before.

 

Situations like this have left me hot and horny, but unsatisfied as the meeting never hppened.

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I don't disagree that some guys quite legitimately want to avoid the flakes and don't want to commit unless the client is serious. I usually like to send an initial "Hi, how are you, where are you located, I may be in your local" type of email to see what the response is. In this case it was exactly that, Hi I will be in your city, I may be looking to meet up, just wondering where you are in general". Usually I get "Hey, I'm ..... let me know if you're interested, enjoy your trip." In this case it was "call me" ... I dunno, I guess I was just expecting more. It's not like this guy was my life's dream, he just seemed interesting, I guess I wasn't interesting enough :p

 

Once again I appreciate the comments, input and advice. It's nice to have a place like this to chat about these things :) Thanks guys!

 

We all of course have offered a variety of opinions here, but the only one that matters is yours. Period. If you felt uneasy, or put off a little, then you absolutely did the right thing to move on. Getting feed back is wonderful and can be helpful, but going into any hire, if you have a bad taste in your mouth for any reason, whether it be the shortness of his message, the inflection of his voice that put you off, or you felt a little coldness in his attitude, then there isn't a chance in hell you would enjoy the appointment to it's fullest. It's your money and your time. I think you handled this entire situation perfectly. And in the end, while I wasn't necessarily bothered by his response, he is in business, and as you point out, there were a dozen better way that he could have responded to you.

the greatest beauty is

Organic wholeness, the wholeness of life and things,

the divine beauty of the universe.

Love that, not man apart from that,

or else you will share man’s pitiful confusions,

or drown in despair when his days darken."

 

- Robinson Jeffers

 

B e l i e v e

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No red flag - when the time draws closer set up your appointment. Does it really matter that you are coming into his town? You just want a massage - you could be local or from East Jebip for all he knows/cares.

 

As a side note that I'm surprised no one else mentioned - why is this thread in the Deli? Wouldn't it be more appropriate in the Spa?

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