Life Style Question

[Atlantagaguy]

I just watch Stephen Fry documentary “out There” and found it interesting that he admitted he had never had anal sex. I have only done anal four times in my life, once as a bottom and three as a top. I am very affectionate guy, I love giving and receiving oral, Kissing, hugging and foreplay. Not so much on anal and really don’t enjoy. What percentage of gays only does Oral in your opinion? Or do you think this is unusual?

[adriano46]

I just watch Stephen Fry documentary “out There” and found it interesting that he admitted he had never had anal sex. I have only done anal four times in my life, once as a bottom and three as a top. I am very affectionate guy, I love giving and receiving oral, Kissing, hugging and foreplay. Not so much on anal and really don’t enjoy. What percentage of gays only does Oral in your opinion? Or do you think this is unusual?

 

Hope not as your experience pretty much mirrors mine.

[gallahadesquire]

Hope not as your experience pretty much mirrors mine.

 

+1

[bigvalboy]

+1

 

+2

[+ not2rowdy]

+3

[rvwnsd]

I just watch Stephen Fry documentary “out There” and found it interesting that he admitted he had never had anal sex. I have only done anal four times in my life, once as a bottom and three as a top. I am very affectionate guy, I love giving and receiving oral, Kissing, hugging and foreplay. Not so much on anal and really don’t enjoy. What percentage of gays only does Oral in your opinion? Or do you think this is unusual?

 

Does it matter? Your likes are your likes.

[oceansunshine]

+3

 

+4

[+ Gar1eth]

I love kissing and receiving oral. But I am a top. While I will admit that often receiving oral feels better than topping, I still- assuming "Junior" cooperates-like to top. As for giving oral--when I first started hiring eleven years--which is where I experienced my only sexual experiences until basically the last year-I wasn't into it at all. Over the years, I've gotten so that I will from time to time perform oral on a partner. Sometimes I'm more in the mood than others--but it's still not my favorite thing to do. Another problem with me giving oral is that I have some problems with TMJ Syndrome. Sometimes I can't get my mouth open that wide-and when you consider that probably on the average escorts are better endowed than the average guy, that makes performing oral on them even more difficult. Also because of the TMJ, my jaws tire easily when giving oral (my jaws also get tired when trying to eat a Burger King Whopper:confused:). So usually instead of giving long periods of oral, I prefer to be making out and stroking my partner off. I've had a few escorts tell me that my skills at stroking them are better than most oral they receive--and once or twice I've been told that I'm better at stroking them than when they take themselves to hand.:o As an added bonus, my hand almost never tires out.:o

 

 

Gman

[Atlantagaguy]

Does it matter? Your likes are your likes.

 

I just want to know if I am unusual. I go out and hear guys talking about how they topped or bottom someone. I hope I will someday find someone to love and share a life together, am I at a disadvantage because I don’t like anal sex? So does my question matter? Yes. My likes are my likes are true but am I being selfish not to want to do anal? I was hoping to get more incite on the question. Is this a topic that a lot of guys are uncomfortable to answer? I am just asking not looking for controversy.

[Atlantagaguy]

I love kissing and receiving oral. But I am a top. While I will admit that often receiving oral feels better than topping, I still- assuming "Junior" cooperates-like to top. As for giving oral--when I first started hiring eleven years--which is where I experienced my only sexual experiences until basically the last year-I wasn't into it at all. Over the years, I've gotten so that I will from time to time perform oral on a partner. Sometimes I'm more in the mood than others--but it's still not my favorite thing to do. Another problem with me giving oral is that I have some problems with TMJ Syndrome. Sometimes I can't get my mouth open that wide-and when you consider that probably on the average escorts are better endowed than the average guy, that makes performing oral on them even more difficult. Also because of the TMJ, my jaws tire easily when giving oral (my jaws also get tired when trying to eat a Burger King Whopper:confused:). So usually instead of giving long periods of oral, I prefer to be making out and stroking my partner off. I've had a few escorts tell me that my skills at stroking them are better than most oral they receive--and once or twice I've been told that I'm better at stroking them than they are themselves when they take themselves to hand.:o

 

 

Gman

 

Thank you for your answer!

[Phil_musc]

Interestingly, this thread seems to have encouraged a number of our frequent posters to out themselves as being no particular fans of anal sex. I am sure many others feel the same way. But I'm skeptical that that position (no pun intended) is the majority view. It seems that virtually all the porn that I see on the internet (and in the privacy of my own home in those days of yesteryear when we had to (shudder!) leave our homes and travel to the neighborhood video store to pick out some promising porn for home viewing/consumption involves some sort of anal action. Perhaps this fulfills a fantasy that many people don't get in real life, but it would seem that a lot of guys don't feel like they are having sex unless there is some sort of penetration (beyond oral) - remember Bill Clinton? Just saying. . . The OP shouldn't stress over this too much - when the time is right and love has entered the picture, they'll work it out and it will be what it will be.

[Phil_musc]

So usually instead of giving long periods of oral, I prefer to be making out and stroking my partner off. I've had a few escorts tell me that my skills at stroking them are better than most oral they receive--and once or twice I've been told that I'm better at stroking them than when they take themselves to hand.:o As an added bonus, my hand almost never tires out.:o

 

 

Gman

 

Perhaps you should offer instructions. A how-to video seems to be warranted here. Maybe you could even be a guest lecturer/presenter at one of Legendary Dave's sex-ed classes. A snappy course title: "Gman on hand"

[nate_sf]

From the escorting side of things, I'd say perhaps 10%, maybe as much as 20% of appointments did not specifically involve anal. This is just an estimate, I didn't track statistics, but I'd say it is a small but significant group of guys. Sometimes a reason would be given, and quite often the guy would feel the need to apologize or feel embarrassed or guilty. From my perspective it didn't matter to me one way or the other. The point is to do the stuff you like and not do what you don't like. And as Gar1eth notes, the guys often have developed exceptional skills in other areas, so it's not like there aren't lots of other things to do together.

 

I agree with philmusc, it's interesting how many members here have outed themselves as not being interested in anal. In terms of dating, the challenge would be to be able to find each other somehow. If an online personal ad or app, maybe disclose it in the ad description... might seem like "TMI" for initial description, but would be helpful to narrow down to that pool of guys who really would be compatible sexually. In any event, there should not be any guilty feelings about it.

[+ Gar1eth]

I just want to know if I am unusual. I go out and hear guys talking about how they topped or bottom someone. I hope I will someday find someone to love and share a life together, am I at a disadvantage because I don’t like anal sex? So does my question matter? Yes. My likes are my likes are true but am I being selfish not to want to do anal? I was hoping to get more incite on the question. Is this a topic that a lot of guys are uncomfortable to answer? I am just asking not looking for controversy.

 

Atlantaguy--I doubt I will ever find a partner-but I hope you do. And I'm betting that when you find your partner, everything will be fine between the two of you. Part of learning about your partner will be finding out what he likes just as he will be finding out what you like. Part of the fun and excitement of the relationship will be learning what turns each of you on. Don't stress out now about not liking anal too much. Remember when you find the guy you love, depending on his likes, you may find yourself wanting to do things for his pleasure that you wouldn't do on your own--and vice versa. Or maybe not--but the important thing will be to find out what you like together.

 

Gman

[Atlantagaguy]

Atlantaguy--I doubt I will ever find a partner-but I hope you do. And I'm betting that when you find your partner, everything will be fine between the two of you. Part of learning about your partner will be finding out what he likes just as he will be finding out what you like. Part of the fun and excitement of the relationship will be learning what turns each of you on. Don't stress out now about not liking anal too much. Remember when you find the guy you love, depending on his likes, you may find yourself wanting to do things for his pleasure that you wouldn't do on your own--and vice versa. Or maybe not--but the important thing will be to find out what you like together.

 

Gman

 

Thanks! I hope everyone can find someone to love!

[bigvalboy]

I just want to know if I am unusual. I go out and hear guys talking about how they topped or bottom someone. I hope I will someday find someone to love and share a life together, am I at a disadvantage because I don’t like anal sex? So does my question matter? Yes. My likes are my likes are true but am I being selfish not to want to do anal? I was hoping to get more incite on the question. Is this a topic that a lot of guys are uncomfortable to answer? I am just asking not looking for controversy.

 

Well my response was short because you initially asked for a percentage, which I haven't a clue. Myself, I am a top, but as I have aged, I found topping to create more pressure or anxiety. That's just me of course. My preference now is just more to muscle worship, cuddling and more of the bf experience. My feeling is, and there is a larger percentage of guys out there that are like yourself than you realize. The last time I was with a guy was Saturday. Now it wasn't a hire per se, in so much as I wasn't paying for time, but the fun part was fairly vanilla. More oral than anything, but we/I had a great time, and I think for the escort also not having to bottom and just provide companionship and a little play left him very at ease to really be himself. I had no complaints.

 

Interesting thread. I hesitate to deal with percentages, because in the end I don't think that any of it really matters, as rvwnsd mentions. You certainly are not at any disadvantage, if anything I think many escorts would welcome what you bring to the table.

 

'You should bring to bed what you are most comfortable doing, and just enjoy the person you are with.'

[+ Gar1eth]

So usually instead of giving long periods of oral, I prefer to be making out and stroking my partner off. I've had a few escorts tell me that my skills at stroking them are better than most oral they receive--and once or twice I've been told that I'm better at stroking them than when they take themselves to hand.:o As an added bonus, my hand almost never tires out.:o

 

 

Gman

 

Perhaps you should offer instructions. A how-to video seems to be warranted here. Maybe you could even be a guest lecturer/presenter at one of Legendary Dave's sex-ed classes. A snappy course title: "Gman on hand"

 

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1w_r9-XrgvI/UT1B_bL9j1I/AAAAAAAADQc/RKRH1XccEno/s1600/shamed-smiley-blushing-red.jpg

 

Thank you for thinking me worthy to be a lecturer alongside Famous Dave:rolleyes: But me up there lecturing side-by-side with him would be like a beauty and the beast commercial.

 

 

 

Funny story--several years ago-when David Anthony 1st started advertising-I called him because I didn't know he was only a top. I asked him if he ever bottomed. He said--making a joke of it--only once a year on his partner's birthday. And he said even then it was only for a minute or two.

 

Gman

[Decatur Guy]

The answer to your question is impossible to know, though I guess a reliable scientific poll could give you something of a clue.

 

I do like anal. However, the majority of my sexual encounters don't involve it. Almost all my encounters with escorts do involved anal, however.

[rvwnsd]

I just want to know if I am unusual. I go out and hear guys talking about how they topped or bottom someone. I hope I will someday find someone to love and share a life together, am I at a disadvantage because I don’t like anal sex? So does my question matter? Yes. My likes are my likes are true but am I being selfish not to want to do anal? I was hoping to get more incite on the question. Is this a topic that a lot of guys are uncomfortable to answer? I am just asking not looking for controversy.

 

Let me elaborate. I do not care how many people share my likes and dislikes, sexual or otherwise. As long as I find a sufficient number of others who have complimentary interests, I'm happy. In terms of finding a boyfriend or husband, as long as I find one other who has complimentary interests I'm doing OK. And so is he.

 

How does this relate to you? It relates to you insofar as it makes absolutely no difference whether 10%, 25%, or 95% of the population likes what you like. As long as you find someone (or ones) with whom you are in sync, why concern yourself with what others think?

 

We each have a finite amount of time and energy. Why spend it determining how you fit into the norm? Who defines "normal" anyway?

[Steven_Draker]

do you think this is unusual?

 

I just want to know if I am unusual.

 

I do hereby certify and declare that you're NOT unusual, Atlantagaguy. There are quite a few people just like you.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

My name is Steven and I approved this message.

[leigh.bess.toad]

I just want to know if I am unusual. I go out and hear guys talking about how they topped or bottom someone. I hope I will someday find someone to love and share a life together, am I at a disadvantage because I don’t like anal sex? So does my question matter? Yes. My likes are my likes are true but am I being selfish not to want to do anal? I was hoping to get more incite on the question. Is this a topic that a lot of guys are uncomfortable to answer? I am just asking not looking for controversy.

 

Unusual? No. In the majority? Probably not. But a fairly significant minority I would say.

 

I certainly wouldn't put it as whether you are at an advantage or disadvantage. And I certainly wouldn't put it as being selfish. As you said, you like what you like, and that is hardly selfish. But the topic raises a whole series of questions and debates I'm not sure you've really thought about. I have And recently. Like in the last 24 hours. Yes, this hits home. You say you hope someday to find someone to love and share a life together I wish that for you too. But can you conceive of a situation where there is emotional monogamy but sexually you are not fully compatible so within limits either or both of you can play with others? Would you be able to handle that situation? If you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that your partner loved you and was committed to you, could you separate him having sex with others from his emotional love for you? Suppose you fell in love with a guy who was a bottom. If he was able to satisfy you sexually because he also enjoyed oral, but you don't think you could meet all his sexual needs, would you be willing to experiment, to try new things? Playing with toys? Have you ever topped? Would you be willing to try to please someone you love? How about frottage? If you fell in love with a top, it might be even more problematic, but again, would you be willing to at least experiment? Can you separate the sex from the relationship?

 

It makes me think of the other thread about needing a sex coach to help the poster become a bottom. And as I counseled the poster there, the key is talking with your partner. Trust me, I know far too well how hard it is to talk about sex with the man you love. But if you are willing to keep an open mind, maybe willing to experiment and push your own limits a bit, even a partner where there are sexual compatibility questions still can work. It's funny, I was talking to my trainer today and told him "you straights have it so easy. No sexual roles to negotiate (of course they might). All we have is negotiation." But in a lot of ways, the talking may be the hardest part of all. Even harder than the oral/anal, top/bottom questions.

 

But it all depends on you and him. Sort of like every relationship, isn't it?

[Mark Gordon]

A large minority of the guys I've met for work or play have not involved anal action. Quite a few that did involve anal action featured fingers or tongues, rather than fucking. Hook-up sites like Manhunt and Squirt offer 'Oral Only' as a searchable identifying characteristic, so it should not be difficult to meet others with the same inclinations.