"No Tip For You Because You're Gay"

[+ azdr0710]

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/10/26/21177151-kansas-waiter-denied-a-tip-receives-a-note-condemning-homosexual-lifestyle?lite

[bigvalboy]

Kudos to pastor Baker. He showed wonderful support, as did many friends in the community. Turned out to be a nice story.

[Diverdan]

There is no end to some despicable behavior, prejudice and hateful behavior. Thanks for this post and kudos to pastor Baker, as BVB said above and also to all the other people in that community for their support of this waiter.

[+ beethoven]

Yes, it's gratifying to know that people in the community and the pastor stood up and supported what's right. I was struck by the tone of the note that the homophobic couple wrote. These are not mean, hateful people, like the idiots who picket funerals. These seem like gentle, polite people who just happen to believe what you and I call nonsense (or worse). I had friends like this (a former student of mine). He was a dentist who worked in clinics that served the poor, and both he and his wife were fine people. They just had strong beliefs on certain subjects. I'm sorry that we lost touch, as I enjoyed our conversations, and it was useful for me to hear their opinions, as our discussions were always cordial and respectful.

[+ poolboy48220]

Big assumption for the customer to make. Did the waiter hit on the husband?

[JT Brooklyn]

big assumption for the customer to make. Did the waiter hit on the husband?

 

l o l

[Frequentflier]

These seem like gentle, polite people who just happen to believe what you and I call nonsense (or worse).

 

Bullcrap (yes, I cleaned that up). Just because someone has an opinion or view doesn't mean they should express it to someone else when its highly likely the other person will be offended, hurt and/or embarrassed. There was nothing "gentle or polite" about what they did. There is a video, which I'll try to find, in which a mother and father talk about expelling their gay son from their home. At one point, the father claims to have heard from God "I am God, you are not". Mean people suck and the couple was mean.

[Nvr2Thick]

Yes, it's gratifying to know that people in the community and the pastor stood up and supported what's right. I was struck by the tone of the note that the homophobic couple wrote. These are not mean, hateful people, like the idiots who picket funerals. These seem like gentle, polite people who just happen to believe what you and I call nonsense (or worse). I had friends like this (a former student of mine). He was a dentist who worked in clinics that served the poor, and both he and his wife were fine people. They just had strong beliefs on certain subjects. I'm sorry that we lost touch, as I enjoyed our conversations, and it was useful for me to hear their opinions, as our discussions were always cordial and respectful.

 

Make no mistake about it; the people who left the note were hateful and mean. Hate and meanness can delivered in gentle, polite ways.

 

The non-tippers in this story believed that they could accept service from a person, but that the person did not deserve to be compensated for the service delivered as they would compensate others because he is gay. That is hateful behavior. Gently and politely they accepted his service. Gently and politely they withheld his tip because, as a gay person, he does not deserve such compensation. If you don't think that such treatment is mean and hateful you're not paying attention. Imagine if you or someone you respect was denied a raise or promotion because management could not in good conscience do so - because homosexuality is an affront to God. That's hateful. Accepting the work or the service and then refusing the compensation is downright mean.

 

I think I'd be more comfortable with a note that said "fuck you faggot - no tip for you" or better yet, with someone who chose to leave the restaurant without ordering because the server was gay. I could even argue whether the action of discreetly leaving a note with a polite "tone" is actually polite. Even if they had actually told the server politely that they weren't going to leave a tip for the reasons they instead left on a note it might have been more in line with the cordial conversation you describe. Respect is another matter entirely.

 

Your discussions with your friends may have been cordial. The respect was for the conversation itself, but at its core this polite talk is by no means respectful. This is just hate that is at peace with itself.

[bigvalboy]

Bullcrap (yes, I cleaned that up). Just because someone has an opinion or view doesn't mean they should express it to someone else when its highly likely the other person will be offended, hurt and/or embarrassed. There was nothing "gentle or polite" about what they did. There is a video, which I'll try to find, in which a mother and father talk about expelling their gay son from their home. At one point, the father claims to have heard from God "I am God, you are not". Mean people suck and the couple was mean.

 

Thank you....+1 and I liked it better before you cleaned it up.

[+ Chris Eisenhower]

Make no mistake about it; the people who left the note were hateful and mean. Hate and meanness can delivered in gentle, polite ways.

 

The non-tippers in this story believed that they could accept service from a person, but that the person did not deserve to be compensated for the service delivered as they would compensate others because he is gay. That is hateful behavior. Gently and politely they accepted his service. Gently and politely they withheld his tip because, as a gay person, he does not deserve such compensation. If you don't think that such treatment is mean and hateful you're not paying attention. Imagine if you or someone you respect was denied a raise or promotion because management could not in good conscience do so - because homosexuality is an affront to God. That's hateful. Accepting the work or the service and then refusing the compensation is downright mean.

 

I think I'd be more comfortable with a note that said "fuck you faggot - no tip for you" or better yet, with someone who chose to leave the restaurant without ordering because the server was gay. I could even argue whether the action of discreetly leaving a note with a polite "tone" is actually polite. Even if they had actually told the server politely that they weren't going to leave a tip for the reasons they instead left on a note it might have been more in line with the cordial conversation you describe. Respect is another matter entirely.

 

Your discussions with your friends may have been cordial. The respect was for the conversation itself, but at its core this polite talk is by no means respectful. This is just hate that is at peace with itself.

 

I'm not sure which version of the story some of you guys read, but this is what is being reported that the note actually said:

 

"Thank you for your service, it was excellent. That being said, we cannot in good conscience tip you, for your homosexual lifestyle is an affront to GOD. Queers do not share in the wealth of GOD, and you will not share in ours. We hope you will see the tip your fag choices made you lose out on, and plan accordingly. It is never too late for GOD'S love, but none shall be spared for fags. May GOD have mercy on you."

 

IMHO, these hardly seem like "gentle, polite people." They sound more like a harassment suit waiting to happen if management should let them back in the door.

[Professor Mitch]

If that us indeed what the note said and it were my establishment, I'd ban them as well as spread the word about what cowardly, hateful fucks they are.

[Phil_musc]

If that us indeed what the note said and it were my establishment, I'd ban them as well as spread the word about what cowardly, hateful fucks they are.

 

+1

[maninsoma]

Big assumption for the customer to make. Did the waiter hit on the husband?

 

I'm wondering about this as well. I doubt the waiter engaged in any sexually explicit conduct in front of them, and he probably didn't even make any comments related to sexuality. (I'm just assuming this is true because it isn't likely to be the subject of conversation when you're a waiter at a large restaurant.) So I guess we can just assume that this couple perceived the man to be gay because of some character traits he has and then felt it was their duty to threaten him with their distorted notions of right and wrong. One has to wonder what tone their church's sermons convey since they seem to equate Christianity with being judgmental pricks.

[docred]

 

IMHO, these hardly seem like "gentle, polite people." They sound more like a harassment suit waiting to happen if management should let them back in the door.

 

 

+1 Chris

[Frequentflier]

Here's the video I was referring to when I quoted the part "I am God and you're not". That is followed with "I made Ryan (their son) just the way he is" and "love your son just because he breathes because that's the way I love you". If you want to skip ahead, listen to 1:55 - 2:10. Not sure where I first found a link to the video, may have even been on this site. The whole video is powerful, in my opinion, but I've quoted the aforementioned to one person in my family who has been particularly close minded (and claims to be a good Catholic) and they appear to be actually doubting whether their close mindedness and negative opinions about people of other races and LGBT is a big problem for them!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwCrQw1YeF0

[Guest Starbuck]

Remember when Rosa Parks decided to sit in the front of that bus? Everyone would have kept right on being "polite" to her if only she had "politely" sat in the back.

 

There is a long history of ugly prejudice hiding behind "polite" behavior. Although in this case, I can't see that the behavior was particularly polite--unless we consider that, perhaps, those customers thought it was gracious of them to "accept" service from a perceived faggot rather than ask to be reseated in another corner of the restaurant. (In which case, well, zowie! ... let's give then some humanitarian award!)

 

And I just wonder: suppose they had asked to be reseated in another area of the restaurant and explained that they really couldn't abide a (say it in a whisper) HOMOSEXUAL waiter ... what do you think the chances are that the manager of that restaurant would REALLY have shown them the door? Slim to none, I say. They probably would have gotten a free dessert for the horror they had almost had to endure.

[ericwinters]

This is mean and hateful. I am surprised that nobody mentioned that this tip was part of the guy's compensation. He likely had to report he made a tip based on the actual check yet got nothing. This is a wage and hour issue as well as hateful.