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re: closeted married bi gay men...


bcohen7719
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Is this film short accurate (in its own way), or not

really?

 

BC

 

[video=youtube;ei14E-V7mRA]

 

As always BC, you bring interesting topics for discussion here. For me I did not look at this as accurate or inaccurate, but rather a story that was entertaining and interesting. I have surrounded myself with friends that lead fairly routinely lives. That is not a bad thing, but just fact. I think that certainly peoples lives do get complicated like this. I know of many people who struggle with their sexuality in a straight marriage, but unlike the characters in the film, they often find an acceptable balance.

 

Thanks for the time you take in an effort to encourage conversation on a variety of levels...

the greatest beauty is

Organic wholeness, the wholeness of life and things,

the divine beauty of the universe.

Love that, not man apart from that,

or else you will share man’s pitiful confusions,

or drown in despair when his days darken."

 

- Robinson Jeffers

 

B e l i e v e

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Looks pretty darn accurate to me. Heck, without the extremely handsome part of it I lived it for a huge part of my life. I found both of the guys in this hot enough that it even made Dutch sound sexy! Just because you're gay or bi doesn't mean you're not married and don't love your wife. I have a feeling that many of the forum members who use escorts use them precisely because it allows them to release sexual urges without having the risk of romantic entanglements.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Starbuck
I have a feeling that many of the forum members who use escorts use them precisely because it allows them to release sexual urges without having the risk of romantic entanglements.

 

I missed this thread ... it died out too soon, perhaps because some married guys didn't want to reveal that about themselves and express an opinion one way or the other. As BVB suggested, the film clip is one individual story; there can surely be a lot of variations on this theme.

 

And, as newtothis wrote, you can certainy be either bi or gay, be married to a woman and love her. Sometimes our emotional and sexual lives are not in perfect sync with one another ... or they are at one point in time, but then they move in separate directions. I suppose bisexuality might mean one person feeling two attractions, but I know from experience that it can also be something that is practiced but not felt -- what you DO, but not what you ARE.

 

Most of all, I just want to heartily agree with the comment newtothis made about hiring escorts as a means of avoiding romantic entanglements. When you are not a free agent (and maybe, for whatever complicated reasons, you don't want to be) you have to be careful about protecting the central relationship of your life ... but you also ought to feel an obligation to protect the feelings of a lover who might fall for you, might want more than you bargained for, more than you can offer. Escorts are definitely a way to avoid that risk ... as long as you don't fall for the escort.

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Most of all, I just want to heartily agree with the comment newtothis made about hiring escorts as a means of avoiding romantic entanglements. When you are not a free agent (and maybe, for whatever complicated reasons, you don't want to be) you have to be careful about protecting the central relationship of your life ... but you also ought to feel an obligation to protect the feelings of a lover who might fall for you, might want more than you bargained for, more than you can offer. Escorts are definitely a way to avoid that risk ... as long as you don't fall for the escort.

 

+1 And most likely more accurate than most are willing to admit.

the greatest beauty is

Organic wholeness, the wholeness of life and things,

the divine beauty of the universe.

Love that, not man apart from that,

or else you will share man’s pitiful confusions,

or drown in despair when his days darken."

 

- Robinson Jeffers

 

B e l i e v e

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I was also surprised this died so quickly, but I agree with Starbuck that this may just be too close to home to be comfortable with. There seem to be two types of forum clients - those who see escorts as a way to release sexual urges, and those who have a problem with sex without some emotional connection. I think the first type is much luckier, it's just a business transaction and keeps everyone happy. Unfortunately for me I fall into the second group. Your intellect knows that this is just a business transaction, but it's really hard not to feel some attachment for someone who if he's good at his job wants to keep you happy. It's a fantasy world with a great looking guy catering to your every desire. How often does this happen in the real world, which has ups and downs, arguments, bad moods, and where a hunky young guy is not likely to pay any attention to an older man? I don't know, in spite of trying to remain distant sometimes I think I'm playing with fire.

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Guest Starbuck
...sometimes I think I'm playing with fire.

 

newtothis, this is probably the single MOST TRUE THING that could be written about PLENTY of us here. Hopefully we always proceed with caution and do our best to maintain proper perspective.

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This topic has been addressed before. Most eloquently and completely by LBT. There are, in fact, a fairly large number of Forum members who are or have been in this situation for various reasons. To accurately understand these reasons is something only these clients, extremely close personal friends of theirs, and probably the escorts that they were comfortable with to share parts of their personal lives. If you asked escorts, I have been told by many that this type of client is a major portion of their business.

 

Boston Bill

Live Your Dreams With Passion And Purpose

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Thanks for this post. I know a lot of guys who are or have been in situations not unlike the one shown here, even if it was a relatively short clip. I have some friends who are married, raised children and only later in life began to truly realize that they were bi or gay, it is hard to label someone else. In any event, some of them went on to develop a relationship or multiple relationships with other married (gay or bi depending what label you want to use) men that allowed them to fulfill their unmet needs without jeopardizing their "home" life. There was, or perhaps still is an organization in many larger cities, called Gay Association For Married Men. It is basically a support group, not unlike AA in many ways, but it is also a way for men to find other men who are in similar situations and who many times develop deep and lasting friendships and sometimes become "friends with benefits"

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