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~~ Let us pray ~~


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Our Heavenly Father...


I know that the Universe is a big place, makes it hard to keep track

of every detail everywhere, but I need to bring to Your attention some

evil-doers who are mucking up your Creation down here.


There's a bunch down here on Earth called "Republicans", I'm sure

some of the recent arrivals at the Pearly Gates have mentioned them in

passing, who have been lying and stealing and killing, in Your name,

and we could use a hand in dealing with them.


Thou shalt have no other gods before me.


These Republicans have TWO Gods they esteem higher than You, Power and

Money. They will do literally anything to acquire the former, and will

let a chosen few hundred do anything to make the latter. I won't bore

You with endless details, but remember those excellent mountains You

made some 220 million years ago, the ones humans call The

Appalachians?? Republicans decided that, to save a few dollars during

the rape of Your good Earth, their friends could tear off the tops of

any of those Mountains they want to to take the coal from inside them,

and since mountaintops are real unhandy to store, they decided it

would be okay to dump the mountaintops into the valleys, where You put

creeks and Rivers. Only those who worship Money above all else could

do that.


Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain.


You'll love this one. Not only does this bunch pose as being on Your

side, they actually started an aggressive war down here and claimed

You told them to!! I'm not up on the latest legal definition of

"blasphemy" but if that doesn't qualify the word has no meaning.


Thou shalt not kill.


That war I mentioned they claim You told them to start?? Well, they

don't bother to keep track of the number of women and children their

war has killed, but I'm sure your Reception area has noticed the

influx, best estimates down here are well over 100,000...


Thou shalt not steal.


Just look at their books, they are so blatant that an Arthur Andersen

accountant could spot the fraud. They steal from old folks, from

Indians, from veterans, hell this bunch is so sleazy they even steal

from their own War effort...


Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.


If telling a lie to two people is worse than telling it to one, this

bunch must hold the World's Record for Bearing False Witness. They

called the Representatives of all the world's Nations together for the

sole purpose of lying about why they needed to start their War,

literally lying to every living soul on the Planet. Never in human

history have so many been lied to at the same time. For what, You

might ask??


Thou shalt not covet any thing that is thy neighbour's.


This brings us full circle; the two things they worship above all

else, Money and Power, are currently embodied here on Earth by oil.

The Country they brought War to has the second-largest reserves of the

stuff on the Planet, so basically they lied and killed in order to

steal this oil that belongs to somebody else. Almost a hat trick, but

I have no reliable information to indicate they have committed

adultery with their Fathers, but that's about all they've missed.


Dear Lord, please smite these m*&^%$F*&ers. Smite them hip and thigh,

and about the head and shoulders. Exactly what form the smiting should

take I leave to Your Infinite Wisdom. Boils, frogs, pestilence, plague

(a personal favorite of mine), whatever you have handy. No Pharoah or

Gomorrahean ever deserved smiting any more than this bunch, and

personally I don't think fire, brimstone and lightning would be



Smite them Lord, this we pray.



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