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Differences of Opinion due to Generation Gaps??


Guest jeffOH
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Guest jeffOH

In reading posts to some threads, I've begun to wonder about the

age range between posters with conflicting perspectives. For

example, what may constitute a homophobic remark to a gay man in

his 50's may seem harmless to a gay man in his 20's or 30's.

 

I dated another escort a few years ago who was 10 years younger

than I. I noticed we had different perspectives on several

gay issues. He had come out as a teenager 10 years after HIV/AIDS

had become a major issue in the lives of gay men. He has some

HIVpos friends, but he hasn't lost any of his peers to AIDS. To

him HIV is a manageable disease along the lines of diabetes. I

told him how during the early years of HIV/AIDS how many of us

had thought we could look at someone and tell if they were POS

or not. God forbid you lost any weight during those years. That

was a sign you might have IT!

 

So, I thought it might be interesting to hear the ages of posters

and their thoughts on this topic. Thanks!

 

JEFF (born the year Kennedy was assassinated)

[email protected]

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Oh, there are definitely generational differences.

 

Did you catch the "Dateline" story this week about young people's attitudes about sex? They no longer consider oral sex to be "doing it". I dunno about you but when I was their age, getting head was almost better -- and more difficult to get -- than getting laid! (And sometimes, it still is better! ;-))

 

I know a lot of younger guys with curiously blase attitudes about HIV. We've had posts right here from younger posters questioning the value of Gay Pride events. Age, and the era that you "lived through" has much to do with shaping opinions on many, many things.

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I am 52, so I guess I should be more aware of differences than I am. Homophobic remarks have always just rolled off me; I've always thought that the remarks spoke volumns about the person speaking and little about the person or issue being spoken about.

 

The Dateline topic of BJ's didn't strike me as out of sync from when I was young until now. I always thought of it as foreplay (even with women), rather than intercourse or anal sex, which is what I always thought of as REAL sex. Oral sex (with both men and women) was my first sexual experience going back to boarding school, with intercourse and anal sex much later, at about 18. Prior to intercourse or anal sex I thought of the rest as just messing around.

 

I've not really talked much with guys in their 20's or 30's about HIV attitudes, but my limited experience with them would indicate that they seem rather casual about it. I say this because of the willingness to have unprotected sex (escorts included, even some who claim to only play safe.) Back in the early 80's a doctor from the NIH told me that any exchange of body fluids, either anally or orally, should be considered unsafe; it seems that many think that taking any amount of fluid orally is safe. I base that conclusion on behavior. If after once or twice with either an escort, date, or trick it becomes apparent to me of their willingness to play fast and loose I high tail it out of there, no matter how great the sex might be. While my neg HIV status puts no one at risk it just becomes a matter of principle.

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Well, Jeff, I thought bigotry was timeless, but you put forth an intelligent thread. Before using slurs, it helps to know the context in which they are used, as I agree that within minorites, slurs are common.

In this forum, there is a cross-section of ages and perspectives. Consequently, I wouldn't lightly throw out a word used also as a slur.

I was not old enough to vote for Kennedy, but I am now.

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Guest jeffOH

RESPONSE TO #5

 

Lucky, I really appreciate you comments on this topic. A bigot

is someone who holds blindly or intolerantly to particular creed

or opinion. Homophobia is the hatred or fear of homosexuals.

When I use the words FAG, FAGGOT or QUEER, I'm merely using them

instead of saying gay man or homosexual. I realize there are

more important issues over which to be concerned than a gay man

using such words in reference to himself or other gay men. Yes,

these words can be slurs when used by straight people. For

example, a sign held up by a Bible-thumper at a Gay Pride Parade

that says, "God Hates Fags".

 

I think our sensitivity to such things is linked to our age and

the era in which we came out. Also, the extent to which we "keep

up with the times". Some gay men are really out of the loop on

some issues.

 

When I was a teenager, I used to wish that I could just flip a

switch and make myself "normal". I'm grateful for everything that

makes up who I am...gay, prostitute, manic-depressive and former

alcoholic. But, most importantly, I've come to realize that I am

a spiritual being having a HUMAN experience.

 

[email protected]

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Ditto here, Dick. Also, escorting has changed as have so many other things. The business is not what it was and I think that you, Jeff, with your 10 years and me with my 15 have helped to change it and its perception for the better at what I hope will be a pivotal time in its recent history. Not only are the newbies perceiving it differently, it actually is a good bit different.

 

"A young man who is not an optimist has no heart and an older man who is not more of a 'realist' has no head." - Was that Franklin? And did I get it anywhere close enough to be recognizable?

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Guest jeffOH

Bilbo, how right you are. I've seen this business change quite a

bit over the past 10 years. The internet has made a tremendous

impact upon our profession. Also, the more open and honest we

are with others regarding what we do helps to de-stigmatize

prostitution/escorting. It is a pivotal time in history. Changes

are occuring faster than many people would like, but as more

people become enlightened the better this world will be.

 

[email protected]

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Hey, I may be out of the loop, but I don't eat Fruit Loops.*

 

*The use of "Fruit Loops" is not meant to offend or infringe on any trademark. Disregard remark where appropriate. Opinion is that of the author only and not meant to imply any sexual orientation of anybody. Void where prohibited. All citrus products are not necessarily included.

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Guest jizzdepapi

Lucky, please don't vote for Kennedy now. It's too late.

 

Unless it's one of the nephews.

 

Too bad Ted drank so much. He might have been president if it weren't for Chapaquiddick.

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Bilbo,

Since you asked.... I believe the quote attributed to Winston Churchill goes like this, "A person who is under 25 and is not a liberal has no heart. A person who is over 45 and is not a conservative has no brain." It came up because of his dealings in the Labor Party when he was young and his switch to being considerably more conservative in his later years.

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Guest Kenny (Guest)

"The Dateline topic of BJ's didn't strike me as out of sync from when I was young until now. I always thought of it as foreplay (even with women), rather than intercourse or anal sex, which is what I always thought of as REAL sex. Oral sex (with both men and women) was my first sexual experience going back to boarding school, with intercourse and anal sex much later, at about 18. Prior to intercourse or anal sex I thought of the rest as just messing around."

 

And they all rolled their eyes when he said:"I DID NOT HAVE SEX WITH THAT WOMAN,...MISS LEWINSKY.

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Guest Zach DC

>When I use the words FAG,

>FAGGOT or QUEER, I'm merely

>using them

>instead of saying gay man or

>homosexual.

>

>these words can be slurs when

>used by straight people. For

>

>example, a sign held up by

>a Bible-thumper at a Gay

>Pride Parade

>that says, "God Hates Fags".

 

Self Deprecation has always been in vogue with minorities determined not to run or hide. A gay man calling himself a fag can be a great way to diminish the word's meanness. But all said, anyone calling anyone a fag, it's all in context. And only as strong as the person speaking.

 

Several months back, some friends and I were at a movie. (A truly horrendous movie.) One of us acted up a little at the end. No big deal, the movie deserved it.

 

As we were leaving, it just so happens the 3 of us run into 2 of my friends leaving the theater, too. So we 5 gay men are staniding around, introducing each other, and blabbing about how awful this movie was.

 

A group of young straight boys (who I think were sitting in front of us during the movie) walk past us as they are leaving. We paid 'em no mind. They said nothing.

 

A few minutes later they are all in their truck, way down the road and yelling "FAGS!!" at the top of their lungs.

 

My point being, it wasn't a very powerful message. Them speeding away. And only yelling FAGS. Now if they had called us "obnoxious fags," I might have learned something.

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Guest jeffOH

#16

 

Zach, thanks for a good laugh. Like you and your friends didn't

know you were fags, huh? I like to yell, "Damned right I'm a fag", right back at them and give whomever I'm with a big smooch.

 

By the way, what was the movie? Saw Memento recently, great flick.

 

[email protected]

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Guest Zach DC

>By the way, what was the

>movie? Saw Memento recently, great

>flick.

>

>[email protected]

 

 

Hey Jeff, the movie was Dancer in the Dark. Just the dreariest cinematic torture I've ever sat through. What made the movie so awful was that the first half was great, the second was like being force-fed broken glass. Truly unbearable movie. Lots of people in the theater were walking out 20 minutes into the movie (and throughout the rest of it.)

 

I couldn't believe it....4 straight boys out on a Saturday night...with no girlfriends dragging them to see such a artsy fartsy, queer assed, suck wad movie...and then they called us FAGS??

 

I don't know what I woulda said had they stuck around to listen. Hopefully something like, "Yeah, boys, but my dick is getting excellent pussy tonight."

 

And yeah Jeff, Memento is awesome, saw it twice.

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Guest jeffOH

#18

ZACH,

Didn't Bjork win an award at the Cannes Film Festival for her

role in that movie? Catherine Deneuve was in it also. I'd heard

something similar to your review of the movie from a client.

 

I'm alway telling my straight guy friends that they haven't had

a real BJ until they get one from a fag and that a guy's ass

is USUALLY tighter than a pussy. One of my "gay for pay" friends

is always talking about a three-some where he fucks both me and

the girl. Are we allowed to talk about pussy on here? I guess I've outed myself. I'm really somewhere between gay and bi on the

sexuality scale.

 

Anyway, on the news page on gay.com, there's a story about Ivan

somebody, a tennis player at Wimbledon who called a line judge

a faggot in an interview with ESPN. Apparently, it wasn't the first time he'd used the word.

I must look like a big ole girl

when I rollerblade because that's the only anyone yells fag at me

anymore. It's always funny how some people know I'm gay just by

driving by and other people seem clueless. You know, "I'd never

have guessed you were gay," or clients who want to know if I'm

straight. I think some fags try a little too hard to butch it up.

I'm just being myself...doesn't take much effort.

 

[email protected]

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Guest Zach DC

. Are we allowed to

>talk about pussy on here?

 

Hey Jeff, when I spoke of "excellent pussy" I was referring to the man I was with. He would have been cool with that term of endearment.

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Guest jeffOH

>. Are we allowed to

>>talk about pussy on here?

>

>Hey Jeff, when I spoke of

>"excellent pussy" I was referring

>to the man I was

>with. He would have been

>cool with that term of

>endearment.

 

Zach, I got what kind of "pussy" you were talking about. I was

referring to the type I was of which I was speaking. Believe me,

I love it when a guy says, "Yeah, you like getting you boy-pussy

fucked don't you bitch"!

 

[email protected]

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