What makes one "upchuck?"

[Guest jizzdepapi]

i view the chance to get together with an escort as a time to relax, unwind, put my feet up, pull my pants down and just-like-tom-cruise-discovered-in-whatever-that-teenage-flick-where-he-rolled-around-in-his-underpants-and-made-everyone-wonder-said, "What the fuck!" some things that make my stomach purr (diametrically opposed to upchuck, hence the subject line):

 

going with a hustler that i meet on the street or AOL chatroom who charges so little that 30% IS an appropriate and very generous tip. overpaying him like crazy so he'll fall in love with my money and not pretend to be romantic in any way;

 

make sure i hire a papi who will tell jokes instead of double-entendres; i hope papi will be fun and maybe make me laugh, clever is nice but unusual and not expected;

 

eat peanut butter instead of foie-de-tootie; use of the appropriate utensil (or any for that matter) is optional, and in fact, discouraged. because of our physical familiarity, scooping peanut butter with a finger onto bread seems just fine;

 

bring a jacket only if it is winter;

 

if i'm lucky enough to find a papi who likes (or will tolerate)classical music, going to Mostly Mozart with me in jeans and a tank top;

 

watching re-runs of E.R. with me and not complaining that we're not watching PBS;

 

crumpling his clothes on the floor anywhere in a nice hotel room and since he forgot a toothbrush, using his finger and my toothpaste;

 

cuddle and have a light snore;

 

leave fritos wrappers wherever he likes so that i don't feel bad about my M&M wrappers and I can feel like a good mother hen when i pick it all up so housekeeping doesn't have to;

 

greet the maid by first name, chat with the maid as I always do, and not rumple the second bed, so as to make it look used;

 

go to an action flick and let me pretend not to be bored;

 

try to put on rap or rock, which I can then, in a big huff, turn off.

 

i don't enjoy acting pretentious and don't appreciate an escort who feels the need to act out high-class anxiety.

 

anyone have similar feelings?

[Rick Munroe]

>i don't enjoy acting pretentious and

>don't appreciate an escort who

>feels the need to act

>out high-class anxiety.

 

I like your posts but this one is kind of silly. It's kind of pretentious in itself. If an escort has manners & good hygiene & doesn't snore & lays his clothes on a chair & doesn't eat junk food, he's not "being real"? As far as clothing, I can be as casual or as well-dressed (well, my good stuff is Banana Republic...I hate designer crap) as my client. As a professional, I want my "date" to be comfortable. The other stuff, I'm always just me & it seems to work. I, too, hate pretense with a passion...especially people who talk about their $ & possessions in an attempt to impress...but are you saying that someone who has a brain & was taught proper etiquette & has an interest in art & culture is affected & fake?

[Traveller]

> I, too, hate pretense

>with a passion...especially people who

>talk about their $ &

>possessions in an attempt to

>impress...

 

But Rick, whenever we're together at your place, you're always going on and on about your "fabulous" dildo collection. Continually taking out of your closet Stryker this, Chase that...metal and plastic...black and white. The only time it really doesn't bug me is when you make me wear my China Blue skirt and wig and fuck me from behind with that foot-long steel rod.

 

Later.

 

PS. Hint on the China Blue, think Times Square and Turner.

[Guest jizzdepapi]

I like your posts but this one is kind of silly...

 

true enough. i was thinking along the lines of fran leibowitz but readily admit i am not she.

 

 

>it's kind of pretentious in itself...

 

reverse snobbery probably is pretentious. to be honest, i was disgusted by some of the more strident and reaching posts in the "What makes one 'upscale'?" thread.

 

 

>if an escort has manners & good hygiene & doesn't snore & lays his clothes on a chair & doesn't eat junk food, he's not "being real"?

 

again, i was being facetious. i usually figure out, and papi figures out, which fork works best. i usually hang up my clothes in my hotel room on a date and hang them up for papi but, when that doesn't happen, love noting the morning after where clothes lay (lie?) and what heated action might have enused to produce a trail of clothing. junk food for me is usually along the lines of fresh fruit and cheese and crackers but papi usually prefers cheeseburgers and fritos and i am fond of M&Ms. i find snoring endearing, if it doesn't keep me awake.

 

 

> As far as clothing, I can be as casual or as well-dressed(well, my good stuff is Banana Republic...I hate designer crap) as my client.

 

i would ask you to dress casual.

 

 

>As a professional, I want my "date" to be comfortable. The other stuff, I'm always just me & it seems to work. I, too, hate pretense with a passion...especially people who talk about their $ & possessions in an attempt to impress...

 

your last comment here is most pertinent to this thread. i suppose there are clients who would have a good time trying to impress but to me that is not especially relaxing. i also wonder from several comments on the other thread about escorts who milk the "i want everything very fancy on our date" mentatlity for every penny they can get. i suppose they may be paying off their finishing school bills, so maybe there is a point to it.

 

 

<but are you saying that someone who has a brain & was taught proper etiquette & has an interest in art & culture is affected & fake?

 

of course not, but Mostly Mozart sounds equally good in a tanktop or an Izod.

 

best,

jizz

 

p.s.: Mostly Mozart might sound equally good in a trailer park and all those washers and dryers in the front yard might prove handy places to perch.