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A client's advice for clients:


Boston Guy
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The following are notes I've casually accumulated in various airplanes over the last couple of weeks. I apologize for the long length of this post and the accompanying one.

 

One client's advice for clients:

 

Be honest. The next escort you meet may end up being your best friend. No one expects you to tell all to everyone you meet; simply choose what you want to reveal and be honest about those details. Keep the rest for yourself, your family and your friends. If possible, use your real first name. When contacting an escort, don't say you are 5'11, 180 lbs and 45 years old if you are 5'9, 220 and 54... no matter HOW young you think you may look. If there are special things about you that an escort should know ahead of time, share those details before setting up the appointment.

 

Be open. While it's hard, try not to become cynical. Be open to people and judge each new escort as an individual, someone to be valued. Do not look down on escorts because of what they do. Remember that we are all much more than our profession.

 

Be clean. Avoid scents and practice good hygiene. Take a shower before seeing an escort. Be considerate and remember that cleanliness is next to godliness. Never underestimate the power of Certs. And never overestimate the turn-off that many guys will find in a smoker's breath, kiss and clothes. If you smoke, at least be aware that most guys will realize it and many will find it unpleasant.

 

Be drug-free when hiring an escort. This is simply common sense. It's also a matter of respect and, in some situations, can be a matter of safety for you.

 

Be friendly. You may not see many escorts but remember that your escort probably sees a fair number of clients. It's hard to constantly be up for every new client and you can make his job a lot easier by being friendly and down-to-earth when he arrives. Be casual, be relaxed and give off good vibes. You have the ability in many instances to set the tone for the time you will spend with the escort. If you have a big smile on your face when he arrives, shake his hand, give him a brief hug and act as if he's a long-lost friend, you'll put most guys at ease right away.

 

Be a good businessman. Recognize you are conducting a business transaction and be honest about that. Be clear about your limits and your expectations. Be clear about the price ahead of time. It's often a good idea to have the money out and visible, especially with repeat escorts: having it out eliminates any question in his mind about if you actually have the money and eliminates any haggling. If you decide later you want to add a small tip, you can always do so. If you have any interest in hiring the escort again, remember that business transactions cut two ways and being a good customer is as important as being a good vendor. Whenever you have a chance to give a little extra, do so -- you'll be amazed at how much you get back for being viewed as someone who has the escort's interests at stake. But recognize the limits in your relationship and don't step over them.

 

Be fair. Don't expect the escort to give away his services for free or to deliver more than what is reasonable. If you book an hour appointment, don't expect that he will stay 75 minutes. If he does, be thankful. This may be your only escort appointment of the day but he may well have other appointments to go to. Remember that he has a life, too, and respect his time. Don't ask him to do things that you wouldn't want to be asked to do or wouldn't ask a friend to do. If you really want to spend more than an hour with him, book more than an hour.

 

Be fun. Don't be mechanical and don't treat escorts like machines. Laugh. Be fun. Be funny. Remember a few good jokes and use them occasionally. Treat your escorts like friends. Who knows -- if you treat them that way, they may become friends. At the very least, they'll respect you for treating them like human beings. And remember that a lot of sex is in the mind: you may not be a prime physical specimen, but anyone can be sexy. If you don't know how, ask an escort to help you. You might be amazed at the potential lying untapped inside you.

 

Be healthy. Be healthy in your own lives and practice safe sex. Care about your own health and the health of those you encounter. Don't let escorts talk you into having unsafe sex. The HIV epidemic is NOT over and, in some cities, is getting much worse. HIV still kills and the side effects of the cocktails are long-lasting and very unpleasant. Do you really want to have diarrhea for five years? If you don't know what constitutes unsafe sex, learn: there are lots of materials available to you. If you don't have the time to do that, follow these simple guildlines: fucking without a condom is extremely unsafe -- don't let anyone convince you otherwise; rimming is very unsafe, unless you use something like a dental dam; oral sex seems to be less unsafe and some authorities consider it to be very much less unsafe; exchanging fluids is not safe; if you have sores or cuts in your mouth, be very careful what you put into it. The actions you take may well save your life and help you stay around long enough to be able to enjoy sex for a long time to come.

 

Be considerate. Be considerate of your escort's time and dignity. Know what you are looking for. Remember that there are two types of clients: Whammers, who are looking more for sex than romance, and Charmers, who are looking more for romance than sex. Where are you on this line? If you can figure this out, you may be able to help your escort satisfy you. Remember that, even though he is undoubtedly endowed with many skills and attributes, he most certainly is not a mind reader.

 

Be prompt. Make appointments that you can follow through one. And then do so. And when you are going to be late, for God's sake, let the escort know as soon as possible. If you are late meeting him and he has been waiting for you, don't expect him to still give you the same amount of time for the same amount of money. If he has been waiting for you for 15 minutes out of an hour appointment, he only owes you 45 minutes -- not sixty.

 

Be neat. Remember that most escorts are looking forward to seeing you. Try to arrive looking a little bit put-together, especially for escorts you haven't met already. Clean clothes without holes in them are generally better than the alternative. If you are going to his house or are meeting in some other public place, a casual look that won't attract attention is generally going to be in better taste than bright yellow spandex. Remember that the escort may not want to let the world or even those around him know that he is working as an escort. Don't try to attract attention to yourself. Follow your escort's lead if you go out.

 

Be nice. Remember that each escort is a person and each escort has feelings. Treat them like you'd like to be treated. Being nice doesn't cost anything and it can easily bring you unexpected bonuses. If nothing else, it will make you feel good.

 

Be careful. Remember that your business involves risks. Protect yourself and the escorts you hire. Don't take unnecessary risks and be wary of escorts who ask you to do things your gut says are risky. Listen to your gut -- intuition isn't something that only women have. If you think something is risky or a situation is one you shouldn't be involved in, you're probably right. There are always other escorts and other times.

 

Be good at follow-up. You'd be amazed at how much mileage you'll get out of a short, simple email the day after you see an escort. Simply saying "Hi, just wanted to say thanks, I had a good time and hope to see you soon." is enough. Most clients fail to do this. It's a good habit to adopt and will help your escort to realize that you see him as a person and not just a sex machine. But don't step over the bounds of good taste; don't try to become his close friend; don't try to insinuate yourself in his life; and above all don't become a stalker. Remember that you are a client; treat him like you would your dentist. If you are going to take an action, ask yourself if you'd do the same thing before or after seeing your dentist. If the answer is no, you're probably about to step over a line that you really shouldn't step over.

 

BGood luck.

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Dear Abby, or fear to post here

 

I just received one email message from someone who had some questions about hiring escorts but didn't feel comfortable asking those questions publicly.

 

I responded as best I could and was happy to do so. But I suggested to him and would like to suggest here that questions about hiring escorts, even ones that seem quite personal, really are the reason for this Message Center's existence.

 

It made me wonder if perhaps there are more guys -- even perhaps a lot of guys -- who read the various threads here but are afraid to post or don't want to post, for whatever reason. In this case, the gentleman felt his writing skills were too weak and that his question was too silly to post. (It wasn't: he wanted my opinion about how to tell an escort that he was pretty overweight without scaring the escort away. I responded that he should be honest about his weight and upfront, without sounding or being embarrassed or defensive. I added that an escort who would be 'scared away' probably wouldn't be a good choice to get together with anyway.)

 

So how about it -- are there lots of you guys out there who read the posts but don't feel comfortable posting here? And, if so, what can the rest of us do to help you feel more comfortable to join us in posting?

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Guest Tampa Yankee

RE: Dear Abby, or fear to post here

 

"But I suggested to him and would like to suggest here that questions about hiring escorts, even ones that seem quite personal, really are the reason for this Message Center's existence."

 

AMEN!! What better reason for its existence...

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Hey Boston Guy,

 

You share a lot of the same thoughts as me. I was very happy to read your post. It was a little long but anything worth reading is not necessarily over in 2 sentences.

 

It really makes a difference when people apply the old treat people as you would like to be treated. I look forward to reading more post from you in the future.

 

Have a great day cool dude! :-)

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Guest JustANametoPlay

Great tips. I think one of the best things you said (and oddly I just said the same thing in another message) is that escorts are HUMAN.

 

I recently had the pleasure of being with an escort with whom I talked with just as much as we had contact. For me, while the sex is of course important, I also like the the contact of just being with someone and holding them and talking. This escort and I had a great converstaion and he mentioned some of the same things you do. He mentioned that there are some clients that become too attached, and sometimes he has to back off from them.

 

As for posting on the board, being so shy I don't seem to have that problem of posting<g> However I can understand the fear/trepidation. Some of the posters on this board can be pretty petty and rough. I try not to post in a thread that has become a flame war. It just isn't worth my time or energy and you can never win.

 

On the other hand, I am very new to hiring escorts, and have only hired three so far. The first one was NOTHING as he described and after about ten minutes I asked him to leave as it wasn't working. He was not rude or impolite, just physically not what I wanted or what he claimed. This experience made it very difficult for me to hire the second one. However, he was very good, so hiring the second was easier, yet still a nervous experience.

 

I would urge any of the folks that are nervous about posting here to post anything they want, there are no silly questions. Yes, you may get some jerk poster taht is demaenaing or insulting, but I think that most of the regular posters on this board love to help, and we can help you kick the ass of anyone that gives you a hard time<g>

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Guest loverboy

Boston Guy, you have produced an excellent distillation of most of the best of what has gone on here in the last several weeks. Thank you so much. I do hope that both clients and escorts will take the time to read and heed it. I hope also that HooBoy will be willing to post both parts for permanent reference, perhaps in the Features section, along with the other valuable material which is there.

 

First, though, and without in any way detracting from your accomplishment, I'd like to suggest that you check back over two things which I imagine were just slips of the keyboard.

 

In the paragraph "Be clean," did you really mean to say "And never *overestimate* the turn-off that many guys will find in a smoker's breath, and clothes," rather than "Never *underestimate*…"? I certainly hope you meant "underestimate."

 

In the paragraph "Be a good businessman," did you mean to say "It's often a good idea to have the money out and visible, especially with *repeat* escorts," rather than "especially *for the first time with a particular* escort"? I should think that a repeat escort, who has already had some experience with the client, would be less concerned about whether he will be paid, else would he have agreed to the repeat at all?

 

The first of these appears in *both* versions of the document; the second is only in the advice to clients.

 

Again, thank you for digesting and compiling all of this into a very readable document.

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Guest loverboy

RE: Dear Abby, or fear to post here

 

Boston Guy, this incident gives me an idea about something that it might be good to add to your primer, if you wish to accept it. It's really just an extension of something that you have there already. Please excuse me for being so bold as to make the suggestion. It, too, ties in with recent threads on this board. In the paragraph "Be honest,"

 

add to the advice to *clients*, at the end:

It's important for the escort to know those things and to know what you want in order for him to give you the best service that he can. Don't be afraid to tell him facts about your appearance or situation that you may consider unflattering (weight, baldness, "attractiveness," disabilities, etc.); he will find out, anyway, as soon as he sees you, and it is much better if it comes from you in advance, not as a surprise that he discovers at the door. Some escorts may back off from that (that's unpleasant, but it probably won't be the first time that it has happened to you). But, overall, you will have a much better and more satisfying experience with an escort who knows and understands your particular situation, and who has had time to prepare himself for dealing with it if need be, rather than with an escort who cannot cope with it, who may feel that he was misled into making the appointment by your being less than candid, and who isn't giving you his best because he doesn't really want to be there with you.

 

add to the advice to *escorts*, at the end:

Don't misrepresent yourself or your appearance. Don't say you are 27 and 155 lbs if you are really 33 and 175 lbs. Don't use pictures that show you as you were several years ago. The client will find out, anyway, as soon as he sees you, and it is much better if it comes from you in advance, not as a surprise that he discovers at the door. In fact, he may turn you away if you are too different from what he was led to believe. Be forthright about what you are willing to do and not do. If the client specifies a particular activity or scene that you don't want to engage in, tell him openly that you don't do that or don't want to get into that. Don't make a vague response that is intended to make him think that you will do something that you won't do. Remember that you should be thinking of repeat business down the road, and not just another encounter for today. Good customer service and keeping your clients happy is the key to success in any business.

 

This is just a thought. I hope you will find it acceptable.

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Loverboy:

 

>In the paragraph "Be clean," did

>you really mean to say

>"And never *overestimate* the turn-off

>that many guys will find

>in a smoker's breath, and

>clothes," rather than "Never *underestimate*…"?

> I certainly hope you

>meant "underestimate."

 

Yes, you are right, of course. :-)

 

>In the paragraph "Be a good

>businessman," did you mean to

>say "It's often a good

>idea to have the money

>out and visible, especially with

>*repeat* escorts," rather than "especially

>*for the first time with

>a particular* escort"? I

>should think that a repeat

>escort, who has already had

>some experience with the client,

>would be less concerned about

>whether he will be paid,

>else would he have agreed

>to the repeat at all?

>

 

I know some guys don't like to have the money out and visible. I've found it to be good practice and almost always follow this course, even with repeat clients: in general, we simply don't talk about the money and they casually pick it up at some point. It helps minimize the monetary side of the transaction.

 

The reason I said "especially with repeat clients" was to try to find a useful compromise between the course of always doing this and being somewhat cautious around guys who are true unknowns. Sometimes, if I'm meeting someone for the first time and something has made me cautious, I won't put the money on display. If I'm asked to pay up front, which drives me crazy, I'll show the money but refuse to turn it over until the end.

 

An escort who asks to be paid up front has just unknowingly really diminished the chances that I will call him again, because I like all of my relationship to be built on trust, even those that are just beginning.

 

But, in fact, most of the time I just put the money out and most of the time the escort simply picks it up at the end. This may not work for everyone, but it works well for me.

 

>

>The first of these appears in

>*both* versions of the document;

>the second is only in

>the advice to clients.

>

>Again, thank you for digesting and

>compiling all of this into

>a very readable document.

 

 

Thanks so much for helping proofread it and thanks for helping to clarify the above points.

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Guest hunklover

>Be clean. Avoid scents and

>practice good hygiene.

 

Avoid scents? Are you talking about colognes? I always thought some colognes were a "turn on" for guys. I know the smell of, say, Noir on a guy gets me a little excited.

 

>And

>remember that a lot of

>sex is in the mind:

> you may not be

>a prime physical specimen, but

>anyone can be sexy.

>If you don't know how,

>ask an escort to help

>you. You might be

>amazed at the potential lying

>untapped inside you.

 

I never thought about this much. Sometimes I can be somewhat self-conscious about meeting an escort for the first time, because I would say I'm just an "average" middle aged man who's somewhat out of shape. You bring up some good points.

 

>fucking without a condom is

>extremely unsafe -- don't let

>anyone convince you otherwise; rimming

>is very unsafe, unless you

>use something like a dental

>dam; oral sex seems to

>be less unsafe and some

>authorities consider it to be

>very much less unsafe; exchanging

>fluids is not safe;

 

I'm somewhat inexperienced when it comes to these things. I usually play it very safe. They say giving head is safe as long as you don't ingest any fluids and have no mouth sores, however, how can you tell when the penis is going to release the precum? How can you avoid the precum if you don't know when it's going to be released? Also, during fucking, a condom isn't totally safe, is it? I would like to bottom, but I've heard that condoms weren't totally safe.

 

Overall, I think I make a very good client. I take pride on being considerate and friendly with an escort. I try my best to not treat him like a piece of meat. I don't hire an escort with finding a new friend in mind, however, if we hit it off, that's great. If he wants more than a client/escort relationship I let the escort make the first move. If, as a client, I pushed for some other kind of relationship and he didn't want one I'd probably be losing the future services of a good escort.

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>Avoid scents? Are you talking about

>colognes? I always thought

>some colognes were a "turn

>on" for guys. I

>know the smell of, say,

>Noir on a guy gets

 

 

Hunk,

 

There was a long thread on this subject several months ago. Many people are actually allergic to some colognes. And, the vast majority of the escorts who voiced an opinion preferred that clients use little or none -- especially "down there."

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>>Be clean. Avoid scents and

>>practice good hygiene.

>

>Avoid scents? Are you talking about

>colognes? I always thought

>some colognes were a "turn

>on" for guys. I

>know the smell of, say,

>Noir on a guy gets

>me a little excited.

>

 

There are certain scents that I like, too. But a lot of guys don't like them and some are really turned off by colognes or other scented products, especially the heavier scents. I've found that the absence of scent isn't usually a problem but the presence of scent might be a problem; when meeting with someone whose taste I don't know, I always figure it's safer to avoid them. Perhaps some of the escorts could help us here?

 

 

>>And

>>remember that a lot of

>>sex is in the mind:

>> you may not be

>>a prime physical specimen, but

>>anyone can be sexy.

>>If you don't know how,

>>ask an escort to help

>>you. You might be

>>amazed at the potential lying

>>untapped inside you.

>

>I never thought about this much.

> Sometimes I can be

>somewhat self-conscious about meeting an

>escort for the first time,

>because I would say I'm

>just an "average" middle aged

>man who's somewhat out of

>shape. You bring up some

>good points.

>

 

Thanks! I think escorts can really help guys in this way. What about it, guys? Do you agree?

 

 

>>fucking without a condom is

>>extremely unsafe -- don't let

>>anyone convince you otherwise; rimming

>>is very unsafe, unless you

>>use something like a dental

>>dam; oral sex seems to

>>be less unsafe and some

>>authorities consider it to be

>>very much less unsafe; exchanging

>>fluids is not safe;

>

>I'm somewhat inexperienced when it comes

>to these things. I

>usually play it very safe.

> They say giving head

>is safe as long as

>you don't ingest any fluids

>and have no mouth sores,

>however, how can you tell

>when the penis is going

>to release the precum?

 

Good point... another reason to be verbal and communicative during sex! :-)

 

 

>How can you avoid the

>precum if you don't know

>when it's going to be

>released? Also, during fucking,

>a condom isn't totally safe,

>is it? I would

>like to bottom, but I've

>heard that condoms weren't totally

>safe.

>

 

No, they're not totally safe, especially if misused and they can break. But properly used they're pretty good and really put the odds back on your side. This is another issue where I'm sure we can get some more informed statistics...

 

 

 

>Overall, I think I make a

>very good client. I

>take pride on being considerate

>and friendly with an escort.

> I try my best

>to not treat him like

>a piece of meat.

>I don't hire an escort

>with finding a new friend

>in mind, however, if we

>hit it off, that's great.

> If he wants more

>than a client/escort relationship I

>let the escort make the

>first move. If, as a

>client, I pushed for some

>other kind of relationship and

>he didn't want one I'd

>probably be losing the future

>services of a good escort.

>

 

Exactly!

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Guest Tampa Yankee

"Avoid scents? Are you talking about colognes? I always thought some colognes were a "turn on" for guys. I know the smell of, say, Noir on a guy gets me a little excited."

 

Yechhhttt!!!!!!! I prefer the scent of a man :-)... not last week's man but tonight's man.

 

Definitely not last year's recycled Rose Bowl Parade petals in terpentine extract. :-(

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Guest trekker

>Avoid scents? Are you talking about colognes? I always thought

>some colognes were a "turn on" for guys. I know the smell of,

>say, Noir on a guy gets me a little excited.

 

Most of them give me a headache. I mean that quite literally. x(

 

> If he wants more than a client/escort relationship I

>let the escort make the first move.

 

An excellent practice.

 

>If, as a client, I pushed for some other kind of

>relationship and he didn't want one I'd probably

>be losing the future services of a good escort.

 

That's a pretty safe bet.

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Guest ClassActMT

>>>And

>>>remember that a lot of

>>>sex is in the mind:

>>> you may not be

>>>a prime physical specimen, but

>>>anyone can be sexy.

>>>If you don't know how,

>>>ask an escort to help

>>>you. You might be

>>>amazed at the potential lying

>>>untapped inside you.

>>

>>I never thought about this much.

>> Sometimes I can be

>>somewhat self-conscious about meeting an

>>escort for the first time,

>>because I would say I'm

>>just an "average" middle aged

>>man who's somewhat out of

>>shape. You bring up some

>>good points.

>>

>

>Thanks! I think escorts can

>really help guys in this

>way. What about it,

>guys? Do you agree?

 

 

I have always made it a point to ask a potential client to tell me a little about himself on the phone. Unfortunately, many clients can take this in the wrong way, possibly because they have encountered "hustler-type" escorts who are screening them for desirable characteristics. Sometimes a client will become indignant with this simple request, and say something like "I'm the one who's paying, I should be asking the questions."

 

I am always saddened when this happens, because I am endeavoring to learn more about someone, to determine how to best serve them, and to see if we will be compatible. Yes, this does mean learning about the physical characteristics of the person calling. Remember that you as clients know a GREAT DEAL about us escorts before you call: You have seen our web pages, our ads in print magazines, our reviews here on this site, or heard about us from friends. On the other hand, we as escorts know NOTHING about a first time caller. Telling us something about you will help to put the escort at ease, simply by eliminating the unknown. Also, the way that a client chooses to talk about himself, what details he chooses to reveal, can help an escort to learn a great deal in a short time, and help him to be sure that you will have a great time.

 

So please do not be reluctant to give a brief physical description of yourself in a truthful way. Professional escorts who pride themselves on service will always appreciate a truthful and honest self description. Those who make this difficult or who take an attitude that they shouldn't have to really turn off the escort. I am much more reluctant to even continue the conversation if someone is indignant about telling me even rudimentary details about himself.

 

-Nick

http://www.classactmt.com

(available in the San Francisco Bay area June 14-20)

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  • 8 years later...

No Alzheimer's for Boston Guy....

 

....I thought it might be useful to resurrect this thread from eight years ago. ;)

 

Wow! Good memory.

Not sure I can remember what I had for dinner 8 DAYS ago!

 

;)

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has.

~Margaret Mead

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