Escort Hosts and Hospitality

[Guest loverboy]

I'd like to get some reactions to this situation from both clients and escorts.

Recently I had a date with an escort. It was an incall. When I arrived at his apartment he asked if I would like a glass of water. I wasn't expecting him to offer me anything, and I thought that was a very nice thing to do, even though water is just water. He went to the refrigerator and poured me a glass of cold water. And took a beer for himself.

I usually can't have escorts come to me. But if an escort or anyone else does I would not take something for myself that I didn't offer him. Either I would take something from the choices that I offered him or I would wait until he left to have my beer.

Am I being too sensitive about this? What do other clients and especially escorts think about this? And what about the reverse, if the escort comes to the client's home and gets offered water and the client takes a beer? I think it's the same. Do others think that too?

[Boston Guy]

It would seem to me that common courtesy would dictate offering any guest whatever there is to have, or refrain from having it oneself. Of course, common courtesy is often not so common these days. And don't get me started on the folks who are more than happy to accept dinner invitation after dinner invitation but never feel a need to reciprocate in any form. (I've heard every possible excuse.)

[Justice]

>It would seem to me that

>common courtesy would dictate offering

>any guest whatever there is

>to have, or refrain from

>having it oneself. Of

>course, common courtesy is often

>not so common these days.

> And don't get me

>started on the folks who

>are more than happy to

>accept dinner invitation after dinner

>invitation but never feel a

>need to reciprocate in any

>form. (I've heard every

>possible excuse.)

 

 

You took the words right out of my keyboard. I couldn't agree with you more. Fortunately, the two guys that I'm currently seeing are not only excellent escorts but also perfect hosts. They treat me as a guest/friend not a client. They go out of their way to make me feel comfortable in their home and to see that a good time is had by all.

[adriano46]

I too would agree.

 

When an escort comes to me (95% of the time) I always go out of my way to make sure I have on hand whatever he likes (going so far as to ask him in our e-mails leading up to the date what he likes to drink, and making sure I have it in the room when he arrives).

 

On the rare occasions when I was the guest of the escort, I had the same experience: I was asked whether I would like anything, and when nothing specific was mentioned... opted for water (which was okay, but would have preferred something with more kick to it).

 

Comes down to good manners, and respect.

[Guest elwood]

When I have a date with an escort at my hotel room,I always provide a selection of non-alcoholic beverages and some ice. Soda,juice,water. When I visit an escort at his apartment,I often bring wine and or flowers. Sometimes the escort will offer to have a glass of wine with me,sometimes not. I usually just say, "no thank you", "I brought it for you". I'm not usually into drinking alcohol at a date with a client unless we go out to dinner or something. I agree, hospitality is getting scarcer. That's not just with escorts its with everybody.

[Guest JustANametoPlay]

All I drink at my house is Water, orange juice and Crystal Light lemonade. However, in my fridge you will currently find a six pack of beer, four of those small single serving size wines, as well as some soda. If someone drops by I always have something to offer them.

 

Manners is partially a product of your upbringing. I was raised in a traditional italian household. I am sure it is similar to other nationalities in that one of the BIGGEST things we were taught growing up is you NEVER go to a social function (party/dinner) at a persons home empty handed. You also don't ask the host "Can I bring something" you ask "What should I bring." Even when they say nothing you always bring something, a bottle of wine, a pie, flowers, whatever.

 

I can't tell you how many dinners I have gone to in homes where there are 6-10 other folks invited and I am the only one that brings anything. Someimes I just stop at the local gorcery store and get something as simple as an apple pie ($3.49). Yet it always seems to make an impression!

 

As an aside it amazes me how people forget that doing little niceities works wonders. Kind of like that card commercial where the woman sends a card to her elderly neighbor. One thing I like to do is every so often I will bring bagels or donuts to work. I also in my office have one of those M&M dispensers which I always keep full. This costs me maybe a total of 10-15 dollars a month. However you would be amazed at how happy it makes folks!

 

On the other hand i will also say in regards to my M&M dispenser there many folks that have taken to bringing in a bag of M&Ms for me to use. For $1.49 they generate such good will in me! OK, so as you can see I am easy and can be bought for $1.49!

[Guest Merlin]

LAST EDITED ON Apr-16-01 AT 09:22AM (EST)[p]Vince Rockland told the story of the time he was doing an in call and was offered and accepted a drink from the client. He soon began to feel funny and realized he had been drugged. Fortunately he was able to leave and call a friend to pick him up. It is probably not a good idea to accept a drink which is not in a sealed bottle or can when you receive it.

[Guest JONnNYC]

This is a good topic as I just had an interesting in-call to an escort last night. I go into his house and I bought an Easter plant for him....just in my nature to be kind to someone inviting me to their home. I go in and the place is somewhat of a mess...but I am not their to inspect the place. I am offered nothing. I always offer my escorts something to drink whenever I have them visit me (which I prefer - but couldn't do it last night).

 

Anyhoo....after our buisness is done....and he was good....he offers me a shower..I go in and I am SHOCKED to find bugs..yes bugs! - crawling around the sink and shower. I almost threw up..he said nothing about them....he actaully went in after me and still didn't say anything!

 

I guess my point is I am glad he didn't offer me anything to drink...and I don't think I would do an in-call to anyone again.

[Guest Jason Reardone]

http://www.jasonreardone.cjb.net

 

 

Oh boy! Where do I start? Bugs? Drugs? Hugs? Beer?

 

This is something I'm very passionate about, Manners. Cough it up to my southern upbringing (or the routine beatings, LOL) but manners are much desired and never too plentiful.

 

Should he have offered you the water? Sure! You dope, what were you thinking taking a beer afterwards.....Maybe he was little nervous having someone over to his house, give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

I know that when I have an incall often times (mostly because i have a roommate) I'm too nervous or self aware to even offer a drink. Although when biz is done I'm usually relaxed enough to make up for the indiscretion. Almost always my clients offer me something when I arrive without fail. I only accept if it is a sealed container, period! I have heard about escorts being drugged and I'm sorry that happened but that's another lounge topic.

 

As far as cleanliness, well....if the escorts bathroom was as filthy as you said then I can only wonder about the escorts personal hygiene and hope you weren't subjected to that catastrophy as well. WE HAVE TO ASSUME HOWEVER, that no one is intentionally being rude or off color. What is rude to some is simply passe or overly sensitive to another. I find it hard to believe that anyone sets out to ruin the lives of others simply by allowing their bathroom to accumulate filth and drink beer while offering others water. I am overly obsessed with cleanliness to the point of caring around that little bottle of stuff that evaporates on your hands. I use it constantly, BUT I do not freak out if someone else chooses not to, or is strangely different in their hygienic practices. I may not like it, but then again they may think I'm a primadonna for caring lip balm. Go figure??

 

<signing off from Japan, desperately searching for the "Jason Reardone Shaker of Salt" to throw over my shoulder> -jason

[Guest JustANametoPlay]

I agree, that many times it is just a lack of knowledge, not an intentional thing. For instance, at my last job I worked in an area that dealt with techcnical support for the inernet. As such, we hired many young (well IMHO young, 19-20 average) technical wizards. for many this was their first real job. One thing that used to irk me was when they would come to the interview in Sneakers. Now, it never made me not hire them, but it also made me realize that some folks just don't know that there are certain things you do in certain situations.

 

As for cleanliness, I don't think that is manners, it is hygene. Frankly, I owuld not do an Incall with an Escort knowing the home wasn't clean. I also wouldn't do an Incall with an escort that had a roomamte at home either (no offense jason just a personal choice). It is like how much you would pay for an escort, everyone has differing views. As such, there are many that could care less about the cleanliness of the home of the escort, others like me, would be disturbed by it.

[Bilbo]

While this is really pushing it, I wonder if Loverboy was in his home town when he visited this escort. And, if he wasn't, what part of the country the escort was living in. (Or was it Loverboy with the roaches? I know it was him with the drink.) If he was out of his hometown and if he was in certain parts of the Southwest, it may be a culture clash as far as the bugs. Here in Houston, on the salary which some callmen make here, it might be nearly impossible to keep your apartment roach free, depending on what your neighbors are doing or not to control them, etc. Roaches, including great big ones we call waterbugs, are a common foe down here and can often only be beaten back and minimized, not eliminated entirely. I am (knock on wood) amazed that I haven't seen any in my new apartment yet, but I've only been here since January and the landlord lives directly below me. And I know that a situation which a person used to living in this area would take for snafu would seriously upset visitors to our fair city.

[Guest loverboy]

>While this is really pushing it,

>I wonder if Loverboy was

>in his home town when

>he visited this escort. And,

>if he wasn't, what part

>of the country the escort

>was living in. (Or was

>it Loverboy with the roaches?

>I know it was him

>with the drink.) If he

>was out of his hometown

>and if he was in

>certain parts of the Southwest,

>it may be a culture

>clash as far as the

>bugs.

 

No. Stop. Two completely different things have gotten mixed together. I am loverboy, and the beer thing was me. The bugs go with someone else. My guy's bathroom was spotless. The bugs have no relation to my story. My story is only about ideas of hospitality.

[Guest loverboy]

>This is something I'm very passionate

>about, Manners. Cough it

>up to my southern upbringing

>(or the routine beatings, LOL)

>but manners are much desired

>and never too plentiful.

>

>Should he have offered you the

>water? Sure! You dope, what

>were you thinking taking a

>beer afterwards.....Maybe he was

>little nervous having someone over

>to his house, give him

>the benefit of the doubt.

>

>I know that when I have

>an incall often times (mostly

>because i have a roommate)

>I'm too nervous or self

>aware to even offer a

>drink.

 

Thanks, Jason, for bringing this thread back to my topic. I didn't question him offering me water or only water. This was an experienced escort, late 20s, lives alone.

 

>As far as cleanliness, well....if

>the escorts bathroom was as

>filthy as you said

 

No. The bugs in the bathroom were from someone else's post. Mine is only about the water and beer.

 

>WE HAVE TO ASSUME HOWEVER,

>that no one is intentionally

>being rude or off color.

> What is rude to

>some is simply passe or

>overly sensitive to another.

 

Right. I didn't and don't, and that's why I didn't say anything to him about it and why I put this thread up.

[Guest loverboy]

I'm loverboy, the author of this thread. Thanks for all the comments, and a lot of interesting things were said and I agree with all or most of them. But many of them (especially the first 6-7 don't really answer what I asked. I didn't ask about should you bring something when you visit, or should you offer a guest something, or should you drink something if offered, or should you drink alcohol on a date, or any of those other things. Thanks to Jason Reardone for bringing the discussion back to my topic.

 

I forgot to mention before that this was the first time seeing this escort. I liked him and I didn't say anything to him about it, but I thought it was impolite and I felt funny about it. I was very surprised that anyone would do that. And it did take away from the mood since it was right at the beginning. I would have been perfectly happy if he hadn't offered anything (I didn't expect anything), and I didn't care that he offered me only water, and I also wouldn't have cared if he offered me water or beer and I chose water and then he took a beer.

 

Am I just oversensitive, or do other people think that way? Jason started to refer to this, but I'd like to hear from some others too.

 

There's another aspect too. I always think of a date with an escort as a social situation, even though there is a business transaction involved, and I suspect most other clients do too. But I suppose that from the escort's point of view it's just a business transaction. That also might have something to do with the hospitality issue, although I can't imagine that it's OK in a business setting either. But it's really a mixture of both on both sides but in different proportions, isn't it?

 

I'd like to hear some reactions to these things, especially from some more escorts.

[guyinsf]

Is it bad manners to have a guest and offer him only water while you drink a beer? I think so. However, as you point out, this is not an ordinary social situation. One could read into this behavior a number of messages, which may or may not be accurate, involving the escort trying to subordinate you. Of course, it could be that the escort simply has poor manners, something I've encountered a few times.

[Guest HornyPony]

this is so not about escorting ...

it's so basic manners that i find it silly .

 

damn

 

 

hp

.

[Guest Jason Reardone]

ROOMMATE POINT WELL TAKEN!

 

I WILL BE ROOMMATE-LESS (IS THAT A WORD? LOL) IN TWO WEEKS, FYI .

 

ALSO FYI, ALL MY CLIENTS THAT CHOOSE INCALLS ARE INFORMED THAT I HAVE A ROOMMATE AND HE IS NOT NECESSARILY (IN FACT RARELY) HOME BUT I'M VERY CAUTIOUS OF OTHER PEOPLES BELONGINGS AND NEED I SAY MORE ABOUT PERSONAL SPACE AND ROOMMATES, TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN RICKI LAKE HAS A TWO WHORE, (I MEAN HOUR) SPECIAL ON THAT VERY SUBJECT, LOL MATTE' -jason

[Guest Jason Reardone]

But I suppose that from the escort's

>point of view it's just

>a business transaction. That also

>might have something to do

>with the hospitality issue, although

>I can't imagine that it's

>OK in a business setting

>either. But it's really

>a mixture of both on

>both sides but in different

>proportions, isn't it?

>

 

Hey, sorry if I'm butting in on the closing of my "15-minutes" but Loverboy I think you hit the nail on the head. I couldn't have said it better. Recently I wrote a posting responding to "Escorts working under different names" basically it was about honesty and respect of the client.

 

I apologize ahead of time for interjecting this here but, LOVERBOY I couldn't help but take the opportunity to do so with the above reference made. I believe they are directly linked and reprinting this 'excerpt might shed some light. This site helps ground me and really allows for some dialogue in an othewise mis-understood profession.(i think anyway)

 

 

Clients work hard for their money. Many, in fact will even stretch their budget in order to accommodate some companionship for an evening. I can remember many lonely closeted nights when I would've killed for a smiling face to exchange like stories with, hold hands with or just sit and watch some TV....... OK, OK, OK....yeah, AND HAVE HOURS UPON HOURS OF WILD MONKEY SEX!

 

My point is this... We (escorts) need to remember that this "business", although fun and exciting SHOULD NOT be taken so lightly. (Without sounding like the Oprah Show) We have been invited into the most private and personal "rooms" of people's lives. In one instance I was asked to interact with an individuals spouse ...... someone else's Life Partner!! I may have unknowingly taken part in an exercise designed specifically to keep them together another 10 years. Or I could just as quickly have become the catalyst for it's demise, I'll never know. Everyday we encounter new people. In some small way each person's life will be effected by that encounter with us. We should go out of our way to make every encounter a fulfilling if not, at least positive and edifying experience. Hey Boys, "Do Unto Others", Remember That?.....Whew! I feel better, Damn! Is it me or is it hot in here? (LOL) -Jason.

 

THAT WAS DATED: Mar-14-01, 01:58 PM

[Guest shadow]

> As such, we hired

>many young (well IMHO young,

>19-20 average) technical wizards.

>for many this was their

>first real job.

 

Ever fantasize about initiating some sexual harassment with any of these 19-20 y/o wizards

[Guest shadow]

Well said, Jason. Well said.