OK, I guess I'm amazed

[Guest allansmith63]

I'm not married or insecure anymore.... :-)

 

(But I won't call it a conversion experience even if Al likens my experience with Matt to my meeting Jesus.)

 

Man, I'm a bitch tonight.

 

Allan

[Guest allansmith63]

...but no need for penance...

 

A.

[Scorpio]

I hired my first escort and had sex for the first time on my 37th birthday last October. The first time I hired an escort, I tried to establish a rapport with him over a period of about three weeks. We exchanged several emails and he was very helpful and eager to see that my first time was an enjoyable experience and it was, so much so that I went back for seconds. Thanks James #2 (New York)! And he and I have on occasion continued to exchange emails, he always seems pleased to here from me, even though the chances us of actually seeing each other again are remote since I don’t make it to New York very often.

 

I have also on several occasions relied exclusively on the reviews here and tried the short and sweet approach (that Boston employs) without the rapport building and, except for one occasion, for me it just hasn’t worked as well. Because for me there has to be an element of romance and intimacy for this to work. Now, I know that this is not the appropriate avenue to having romance and I would much prefer it the old fashion way. But for some of us really big guys, it seems that this is the only avenue to find the simple affection, touching and kissing that we desire.. It’s very difficult in our society (and I’m especially finding it so in the gay community) for people not to equate fat with ugly, as one of the previous posters put. If finding a meaningful relationship through the Internet personals was as easy as hiring an escort, then we would probably all be a lot happier. But alas real life is not as simple!

 

So to get back on point, for me it is essential to establish a rapport with the escort through numerous emails and possibly a telephone call, although I try to be very respectful of their time. And I have found that the escorts don’t seem to mind and in fact enjoy it to an extent and will tell you if they have limited time.. For instance, as Allan stated above, Matt in Vancouver is so good at this that it amazes me where the man finds the time to give so much of himself to his clients. Also, Marcus in Ft. Lauderdale is very good with the email and at times I thought that I was monopolizing his time with my emails. But he assured me that was not the case and that he only responded because he too enjoyed it.

 

So for some of us the short and to the point approach seems to work and for some of us it doesn’t.

[Guest albinorat]

I don't

>know where you would find

>that small group of men

>you're suggesting in a small

>town like mine<

 

You know, some churches have groups; you may also be near a larger town or city which would have some gay organizations. If there are other gay men your age with some things in common with you, you might think of starting such a group. For aging gay men isolation is a serious problem and a major cause of depression. For gay men who have "come out" very late, disorientation and loneliness are serious difficulties. I don't know that your average escort addresses those issues (though hiring escorts may be a good solution and a reasonable thing to do).

 

You might also find a group on line. My point is if you are sincere in your interest in "becoming a gay man" in mid life after a very different kind of life, that's the best way to understand. We learn from others who have gone through the same thing and that's a different process than hiring an escort (nothing wrong with that though) or reading Hansen's Brandsetter series (very dark and rather down on gay life) or researching non-judgmental articles and books though those things are worth doing too.

 

>

>I don't think that you really

>have a right to tell

>me what I can or

>should add to a thread<

 

No, I don't. But actually you might start a thread about the miracle of Matt. Most of us would read in awe. This thread was about taking a practical business like tack on finding sex for hire, which is something entirely different.

 

>- you may not agree

>with me, fine<

 

I have no way to agree with you or not. I can't judge the authenticity of your experience or what it meant to you and I can't know how sincere you're being. I am wary, as I mentioned, of being sentimental about a very useful and sometimes helpful but essentially mercantile transaction.

 

Al

[Rod Hagen]

LAST EDITED ON Apr-16-01 AT 01:30AM (EST)[p]>I won't pay more than $200

>per hour to anyone,

 

This seems arbitrary, but your in good (or at least plentiful) company. When I uped my incall rate from $200 to $220 I noticed a significant drop in hourly appointments; thank Christ.

 

>The

>idea of taking up an

>hour of an escort's time

>on the phone before even

>deciding to hire him would

>never occur to me.

>And while Brogan seems to

>have the patience of Job,

 

No, more like the Brain of King Salomon. We can tell after about 1 minute of conversation if a caller is a likely future client. It comes with experience. In the interim keeping up on the emails and staying on the phone for long chats (if there's nothing else the escort MUST do at the time) is good business, especially if this will be one of many $1000-$1500 appointments.

 

One can wash dishes, make the bed, feed the dog, check email, check cell phone voicemail, and program the VCR all while solidifying a BIG DEAL. You have to LOVE cordless phones :-)

 

HAGEN

 

P.s. Regarding Brogan himself, while all the compliments within the review are entirely accurate, but from what other clients have told me I MUST focus on the superficial for a moment. He is a STELLAR dresser and extraordinarily good looking. If you really dig appearance, he's your man. YUM YUM YUM. He's one of those guys that looks great in the kind of clothes the rest of us look really uncomfortable wearing. He's made for Armani.

 

http://www.rodhagen.com

[Guest allansmith63]

Thanks, Al for those suggestions. I actually have gone through a very interesting online experience, but not in a group type thing. Last September, I started emailing a gentleman who shall remain nameless (he posts here) who received as many of my desparate "oh my God what am I going to do"s as Matt did. He counselled, cautioned, helped, assisted, re-directed, chewed me out, provided his own experiences, on and on...the words don't end as to how he helped me through this. The interesting part is that as I got closer to the end of my own turmoil, I just incidentally came across and started emailing two other men, who are in the exact same situation I was in six or ten months ago. Building on the help that my nameless gentleman was able to provide me with, I now can provide some of the same advice that I found so invaluable when I was receiving it. Passing on the wisdom of first one, then two men who've been there and survived. And I only hope that these two men, as they find resolution of their own issues, will each seek someone out in turn, to help them. Mentorship of a type, in action.

 

Nicely worded sarcasm on the "Matt" thread - I can't even take umbrage at it. :-)

 

Al, I appreciate your postings in this forum - in fact, I've taken many of the things you've said to heart, and stashed them in my own bag of tricks. Thank you.

 

Cheers, and have a good week gentleman. I'm off to bed. (sigh, alone....)

 

Allan

[johnnysneakers]

Mercantile experience!!! I love it. Wonderful term for what we are engaged in. I think we need some perspective here. Ca-ching, ca-ching. Money is an industry and it flows from one pocket to another. If you are looking for love, you are in the wrong place. Sorry to be blunt, but I hope the fresh air helps!!!!

[johnnysneakers]

There, Mr Hagen has said it all!!!!

[+ Charlie]

What this incredible thread has shown is that BostonGuy's original question cannot be answered: there is no "typical" approach, or there are several. If hiring an escort is an extraordinary experience and/or requires a lot of planning to bring it off, it may be worth it to the client to spend a lot of time and money preparing for it (whether it is worth it to the escort is another matter). If it is something that the client does so regularly that he has developed a standard procedure, as BostonGuy has, then it can be done much more expeditiously. If the client has a lot of emotional investment in the act, then he will devote more time, energy and money to getting it right than if it is little more than masturbation with a living aid (that sounds crude, but BostonGuy's description sounds like that is what his expectation sometimes amounts to, and it is sometimes what mine amounts to as well--I don't mean that judgmentally, because I really like masturbation).

 

Over the years my own approach has changed; it used to be a terribly fraught (but exciting) experience, but simply as the result of practice my approach now is pretty much the same as BostonGuy's, with one notable exception: I never bargain over price. I believe that an escort who will lower his fee just because the client says he won't pay that much either knows he regularly overcharges (bad sign), or expects to give poorer service for less money. Would you trust a doctor or tax accountant who doesn't know what his services are worth? Worse yet, an escort who accepts whatever he is offered probably has fairly low self-esteem and/or is desperate for any money, also not a good sign for the client.

 

Finally, I would point out that technology has changed the whole hiring process dramatically from the days when one depended on written ads in a very few places or informal personal contacts. Now one can find an escort anywhere in the world on the internet, read reviews on websites like this, exchange numerous emails and instant messages, and make long distance calls on the privacy of one's personal cell phone, all of which make it so much easier to really examine what one is getting into in advance, so for someone new to hiring these things may not seem as laborious as they do to old hands like BostonGuy and me.

[Boston Guy]

>>I won't pay more than $200

>>per hour to anyone,

>

>This seems arbitrary, but your in

>good (or at least plentiful)

>company. When I uped

>my incall rate from $200

>to $220 I noticed a

>significant drop in hourly appointments;

>thank Christ.

>

 

Sure it's arbitrary. But it's a good defense against the market, where free enterprise dictates that each escort will most likely try to earn the highest price he can -- as he should. That's capitalism 101.

 

And for anyone who thinks it isn't so, at least on average, I would simply suggest a quick look back at the archives of this site and Atkol. Escort prices have risen steadily over the last few years and continue to do so. And will continue as long as enough people are willing to pay higher and higher rates.

 

Escorts in smaller cities used to charge $80 or $100 per hour. The advent of sites like this on the Internet has almost eliminated that differential and many small-town guys now charge the same rates charged by guys in Manhattan and LA. (Perhaps supply is low in those small towns, but so I think is demand.)

 

When I go to an auction, I know in advance the maximum price I will bid for an item; it's the only way to avoid paying foolish prices as a result of being caught up in auction fever. Similarly, I think a lot of people who paid outrageous prices far above any reasonable valuation for some dot com stocks are now wishing that they had been a little less caught up in stock market fever.

 

So I cap my price at $200 per hour. In the cities I visit, there tend to be a lot of escorts and I've found that if you treat escorts decently -- and I do -- then it's possible to have a very nice time indeed with a lot of guys. And, truth to tell, I'm having a hard time remembering the last time I decided to hire someone and was turned down because $200 per hour was too low. Many, if not most, of the guys I find I tend to like are escorting on the side, are bright, fun, interesting guys in their 20s who have other interesting full-time jobs. Many are recent college grads. For a lot of them, escorting is a fun way to pick up additional income. As one guy in LA told me recently, five one-hour sessions after the gym brought him $1000 in extra cash per week and he was quite happy with that.

 

Another escort out there that I know is a young artist who sees one guy per day, usually for an hour. That's $70K per year. He declares his income, pays his taxes, lives just fine and concentrates on his art. He's happy because he has to 'work' just one hour per day. So $200 an hour is not exactly starvation wages and I don't in any way feel like I'm cheating escorts by limiting the price I will pay to $200; quite the contrary.

 

As I said in my original post, I'm picky. And even though I enter into the transaction with my eyes wide open, I've become very friendly indeed with a fair number of guys that I see on a regular basis. So my $200 cap isn't even beginning to affect my ability to find and hire high-quality escorts.

 

Do I miss being able to hire guys at $300 or more per hour? Not on your life.

[+ deej]

And I am very sorry if I misread your intent. It just seemed you were saying "Here's how I do it and any other way is crazy".

 

Let's face it, no single escort is ideal for every client and no single hiring process is right. We are supposedly a community that celebrates diversity, and that diversity is reflected in the opinions stated on this thread.

[Boston Guy]

Yup. And happiness is sometimes knowing what you want and how to get it. :-)

[Guest Rastignac]

Allan: You were indeed very fortunate to have been with Matt as your first. I haven't had all that much experience myself, but I do think Matt is in a class by himself. He either really enjoys getting to know his clients, or he's the world's greatest actor -- and I don't think anyone could pull that off for very long with a large number of clients. I certainly plan to be one of his regulars.

[Rod Hagen]

>low. Many, if not

>most, of the guys I

>find I tend to like

>are escorting on the side,

>are bright, fun, interesting guys

>in their 20s who have

>other interesting full-time jobs.

> For a lot of

>them, escorting is a fun

>way to pick up additional

>income.

 

And for me it was entirely the opposite. I was TOO busy both escorting and working in an engineering firm, so I increased my hourly rate by $20 and my overnight by $100. Apparently, many other men feel the same way that you do and have chosen their own, similar, ceilings, because thereafter it became significantly easier to handle both jobs (but shortly thereafter i quit the firm anyway).

 

http://www.rodhagen.com

[Rick Munroe]

> YUM YUM YUM.

>He's one of those guys

>that looks great in the

>kind of clothes the rest

>of us look really uncomfortable

>wearing.

 

Shall I send him that tube top, hot pants & Candies that I can no longer get away with wearing when I do my streetwalkin'?

[Matt_Vancouver]

how fortuitous to have "hit" the best escort with throwing only one dart

 

and WHAT a dart: )

 

 

http://go.to/mattsplace

matt_escort@yahoo.com

[Rod Hagen]

Rick, If there made by Armani, like I said in the NEXT sentence, I'm sure he'll make even those items look HOT.

 

HAGEN

 

http://www.rodhagen.com

[Guest albinorat]

>Thanks, Al for those suggestions.

>

>Allan

 

You are a gentleman Allan, far more than I. Thank you for your nice words.

 

Al

[Guest fedssocr]

Personally I tend to keep most appointment setting contact short and sweet. If I see an ad I like in the Blade or online I'll send an email or make a call. The ad usually tells me pretty much everything I need to know as far as physical description goes. The phone call is a good way to get a quick idea of what the guy's like. If he's not friendly or doesn't sound like a nice guy (whatever that means) I usually won't make an appointment. I tend to use agencies a good bit these days when I'm home. Most ads in the gay paper are agency guys anyway. If I'm arranging with the agency I sometimes end up talking to the escort to give directions and make the final plans. Once he arrives I like to spend 10-15 minutes just chatting. I think it makes both of us more comfortable.

 

When I travel I tend to go to places where I can see guys first before I hire...like the boys clubs in Amsterdam or a stripper place like Remington's in Toronto.

 

Prices in Washington have definitely shot up. I remember the first guy I ever hired...about 8 or 9 years ago charged me $60. For a long time the going rate was $100, then $120, then several agencies opened and pushed the price up to $150. Now some are charging $200 or more. I found in the old days that the freelancers who charged less (typically cute little college boys) were the best, most fun to be with.

 

I hire guys for physical fun, but also for the intimacy of just cuddling even if it only lasts for an hour or so. I guess that adds an emotional component. The last guy I hired was great physically, but a bit withdrawn and not especially affectionate. The overall experience was fine, but not spectacular as a result of that. But I knew his limits before I decided to go ahead and hire him.

 

I guess I've rambled on long enough.