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The impact of this site


Losgatan
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LAST EDITED ON Apr-10-01 AT 10:49PM (EST)[p]I’m beginning to think that this site has a far greater influence on the lives of the escorts discussed here than the reviews or message board comments suggest.

 

Hooboy openly apologized for the discomfort we caused Danny Damon even though there wasn’t a single negative comment about him personally in that very long thread. And Billyboy, in announcing his retirement, also suggested that the “unseen” impact of this site was at least partially responsible for his decision.

 

Could it be that we have a group of “lurkers” here who get their jollies by harassing or otherwise intimidating the escorts mentioned here? If so, is there anything we can do about it?

 

I, for one, will be very reluctant to post another review (however positive) if this is the case. I hope our escort friends will share their experiences.

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Guest curious2000

I think to be an escort you have to have a very thick skin and deal with a lot more than reviews and comments from clients on this messege board! It seems a little overdramatic to think we could yeild such power and actually influence an escort to retire because of a few gossipy threads or reviews from this site :-)

 

Just relax and enjoy this site for what it is: a fascinating exchange of information between escorts and clients that is both helpful and entertaining.

 

It is supposed to be FUN guys! Enjoy!

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LAST EDITED ON Apr-10-01 AT 11:52PM (EST)[p]LAST EDITED ON Apr-10-01 AT 11:51 PM (EST)

 

I suggest that everyone reread the very moving posts by Big Jake that explain his decision to retire. He really put things into the proper perspective. (This site is not one of the many valid reasons that he gives for moving on.)

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>Could it be that we have

>a group of “lurkers” here

>who get their jollies by

>harassing or otherwise intimidating the

>escorts mentioned here? If so,

>is there anything we can

>do about it?

 

As the posting by Rodrigo suggested, there may some clients who post fake negative reviews as "revenge" for a perceived slight, such as not answering the client's e-mail. By the same token, there are probably many more fake positive reviews written by escorts and their friends. There have been ample threads discussing how to try to distinguish the real from the fake. If anything, the site favors the escort, since the escort has the last word.

 

A single negative review by a disgruntled client, particularly by a first-time reviewer, probably won't have much of a negative impact. It's when patterns occur, particularly involving well-established reviewers who've also written a number of positive reviews, that the client needs to beware.

 

The best thing we can do about it, therefore, is to read the reviews carefully, and not take anything as the truth just because it's in print!

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I am sure that this site has had a negative impact in one way or another on many escorts. On the other hand, I posted the first review for an escort once, and he told me that he had 33 email inquiries on the very next day. Like many things in life, there is good and there is bad.... the trick is to try your damndest to stay on the right side of the line! I think if everyone, clients and escorts, remembered common courtesy, we would all be better off. That will minimize, but not eliminate some of the hurt. But if you don't want any bad, don't play.

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Guest JustANametoPlay

Anyone reading info on this site is hopefully wise enough to take anything posted with a grain of salt. Whenever you have a place where folks can post and hide behind a screenname, then you have a place where you can't take everything you read as gospel.

 

Everything read should be read with a healthy dose of skepticism. The best thing is to read and have some enjoyment. As for an escort quitting becuse of this site, well I would agree that it is part of the biz and that they would have the same problems without this site (with email etc).

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Guest elwood

Losgatan,I think you are almost certainly correct about the impact of this site. Of course the WEB has had a huge impact on porn and the "sex industry" especially for gays but also for everyone involved. That impact has positive and very negative aspects and is still rapidly evolving. This site has a big impact on both escorts and clients as I have found more than once to my astonishment. One aspect of this site is that it is like a small "community". But it is also wide open and visible and accessable to all types. It can be positive and helpful to people...both clients and escorts. It can also be negative and destructive to both. For clients and escorts this site kind of takes the "transaction" of the streets or out of the bars and even out of the chat room. It can offer a hint of safety and security...but then again, that can be an illusion. There are so many fake reviews and threats flying from all sides. You really have to be here for a while to begin to filter things out and know who can be trusted both among escorts and clients. I am certainly re evaluating my position regarding this site. I don't like to be hurt and I do not enjoy seeing people hurt. I am well aware of how twisted and manipulative some people can be..even myself. To get to be over 50 as a homosexual man in our society you don't generally stay undamaged. I have many wonderful and strong relationships in my life and I have failed to develop other relationships due to fear or imagined problems. What I do not have right now is a sexual relationship and yet I still have those needs which I recognize as a part of me. But I do not want those needs to dominate me or drive me to do things that are negative to me or to anyone else. Hiring escorts has been a mixed experience for me in the relatively short time I have been doing it. At its best..it has made me feel better about myself and it truly has fulfilled my continuing need for physical contact and sexual release.I have met some great people as well though only for brief periods.I have NOT formed any friendships because I do not believe that is what this is for because money cannot be involved as the basis of any friendship in my view.But friendship is not why I hire an escort. Fortunately I have friends.I have people I love and these cannot be purchased. I guess one other thing about this site has been important to me. I have been able to say some things in "public" yet anonymously and get feedback---both positive and negative from thoughtful people.Some of the regular posters here are incredibly literate and thoughtful and reflective and willing to share. I feel some of these people could actually be great friends sometime.So the final word on this site may never be in and is still eveolving.I am sure that Hooboy had no idea what he was really starting when he set this ball rolling and he does an amazing job keeping it going with all theuncontrollable factors involved.

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Guest Nice Guy

IT is a true fact that "We" as clients have a major impact on the up and coming escorts. The old "pros" don't really have to worry much, unless they really have an off night. But I think it is understandable.... SOmeone like Scott Matthews who has over 40 reviews has to slip one of these days... for christ sake, the man must be a saint!!!!!!

It is however a double edged sword. I am somewhat close to Matt/Vancouver and Brett Silvers. They are just waiting for that off night when someone can have a field day with their reputation. But being the "pros" they are, that is really not to likely. Some of their new clients I am sure are just waiting for them to "slip"!!

Since i am somewhat retired from the biz, I don't really look much anymore for new guys. But if I am in the mood and I am with an old regular and want a 3rd, I will look at the new reviews for someone who sounds fun and interesting.

It seems to me the one thing Clients forget is that these guys we hire, street smart or not, are indeed people. They are just trying to make a buck the best way they can (or know how) and we owe them a little respect as people. Granted they provide a service, just like your hair burner or dentist, but it tends to become a little more intimate with sex. THey are providing a service and therefore should be open to review and should understand that there are 'jerks' on both sides of the street.

Lets not put any more importants on this site then we must. It is, or should be a reference guide. It seems, at times, to have turned into an intense "make or break" situation for the escorts. However, THEY, have put themselves in this position. This site simply shines a bright light on them.

ng

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I'm sure this site has both a positive and a negative impact on many escorts' lives. Obviously this site is viewed by many potential clients. A good escort can get advertising here like nowhere else I am aware of, all "for free" (to the escort, anyway). I have reviewed one escort twice. He has received about 10 reviews now, all of them positive. I was one of his earlier reviewers and he told me that my positive remarks caused a noticeable increase in clients contacting him immediately after my review appeared.

 

Now I'm sure that some escorts, for whatever reason, get undeserved negative reviews which cause them a loss of business and/or other grief. But as others have noted, reasonable users of this site know to look for patterns, and a good escort who gets only one negative review is not of much concern. Also, as has been said many times before, the escort's response to the negative review is usually more telling than the review itself.

 

As to harassing emails or voicemails in response to this site: I'm sure that for those escorts who post a phone number this is likely to happen. If one doesn't want to deal with that, perhaps one should only give out a phone number after an initial phone conversation, with the escort calling the client. Unfortunately there are those who like to make "prank" phone calls, a habit they probably began as children. While in college I answered the "hotline" to the gay students' office and we got far more prank calls (insults, jerk-off calls, people making up stuff and then hanging up laughing) than legitimate calls. While the prank calls were definitely a nuisance, we took those in stride in order to provide phone access to those who really needed to reach us.

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I agree that this site has and will have a tremendous impact, and not just on us - the present escorts, the retirees and the clients. As we said in the hippy days, just after Stonewall, "Your very existence is a political statement, whether you mean for it to be or not." I wouldn't be surprised if, partly due to this site, excorting is legal by 2030, which if I am as accurate as most crystal balls, means that a sizable minority of the states will have legalized it by 2050.

 

However, Losgatan raises an interesting question which I don't want ignored. Many escorts on these threads have referred to such things as lurkers who were attracted to them by this site, if I understood them correctly. Others, maybe the same ones, have referred to actions taken by jelous other escorts. I don't think that we should allow this to intimidate us into not being ourselves, but perhaps it would bear some looking into by the "members" of this board if we are to fully understand ourselves.

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Certainly escorting creates a number of problems for an escort. Even before this site (and the internet), stalkers and unpleasant clients have been an occupational hazards to straight and gay escorts. However, I've spoken to a number of escorts about the impact of this site -- including one of the best-known escorts/porn stars currently working. They indicate that after a short time, the vast majority of their many clients can be traced to the influence of this site -- and for that they are very grateful.

I suspect that the negative feelings that GOOD escorts have toward this site are attributable to what I would analogize to Hollywood stars. They work for fame and then endlessly complain about the price of fame. The smart stars save their money in preparation for the very near future when the phone stops ringing and in the mean time enjoy the perks of fame. The stupid stars spend everything and quickly have nothing to show for their work. I suspect that the escorts primarily fall into the same two categories

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Guest shadow

Escort approval of positive reviews

 

Here's something that I admit to doing.

 

Nowadays when ever I have a good experience with an escort and write a positive review, I e-mail that review to the escort for his approval. I do this so the escort can bring to my attention anything that he finds too ofensive to be published. I started doing this for two reasons. One, I found out that an escort whom I wrote a positive review for was very offended by some of the details that I wrote in his review. I don't ever lie in my reviews. What I do is if an escort does not want me to, for example, put in details of how I topped him I leave it out. I don't always know what is and isn't offensive so I allow the escort to help me. Two, I saw that another poster admitted doing it as a matter of fact. For this second reason I assumed that many people did this, but maybe I was wrong.

 

I should also note that I have never had an escort ask me to remove something from a review that I have written since I started doing this until recently. That review has not been posted yet.

 

I want to know, am I in the minority in terms letting escorts approve of positive reviews that I write for them?

 

 

By the way, I've said it once and I'll say it a million times. This site has been of GREAT value to me, not only because of the reviews, but also because of this message board.

 

You know, I did not discover this site until January of 2000. Just out of curiousity, can someone tell me how long this site has been around?

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Guest pickwick

I think the whole Danny Damon thing (see the two threads in the Deli section) shows how absurd people can become when they take a trivial pastime like hiring escorts too seriously. I've picked up a couple of useful tips from this website, but on the whole I view it more as a source of entertainment than anything else.

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Guest AllAmerEscrt

RE: Escort approval of positive reviews

 

I think you should be commended for your method of emailing the escort first. I have never experienced a review which had any offensive content, but I have read a couple of other guys reviews that I felt embarrassed for them. I would be interested to know how Hooboy feels about this idea? But even though I have not experienced any ill feelings from any of my reviews, your consideration of the escorts feelings is admirable.

Matt

Tampa

http://www.allamericanmat.cjb.net

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Guest AllAmerEscrt

Well, if I misunderstood what you are saying about how you view this site, then I apologize. But, I can see how you might find some of this site entertaining, but I would hope it does not reach a level of "comical" or ridiculous. I, having a full-time "regular" job, am a part-time escort in the sense that I accommodate appointments when my schedule is able. But I know that there are other guys that rely solely on escorting as a means to pay bills, eat, and live. I can see how this site could be a very important asset to an escorts career. So, implying that this site is merely entertaining seems harsh. I understand that there are always going to be a few "bad apples" (the Danny Damon thread), but I hope that the majority will still recognize the potential importance this site offers the world of escorting. Maybe I am wrong, but I don't think Hooboy works as hard as he does for the "entertainment value" you seem to feel his site offers. Don't get me wrong, I have literally laughed myself to tears over his witty replies to emails, but all in all, feel he works hard to offer this site as a reference tool rather than a place to sign on for laughs.

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I imagine the impact of this site is very mixed, in ways that even those affected have not yet consciously realized. One effect on me is that I have become addicted to this topic, checking in every day, although in the past I only thought about escorts maybe once every couple of weeks; I've probably even hired escorts more often because of the stimulus from the site. A more positive effect is that I only hire escorts from the site now.

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I could be wrong and I hope that HooBoy appears to correct me if I am, but I believe that this site started in mid 1999, about this time of year or a month or two later.

 

Last year about this time, there were a number of real negative posts with people flaming etc, and almost all the threads that anyone wanted to pay attention to were ones wondering what specific escorts were like, or maybe what's happening in specific cities. There were almost no threads on subjects and philosophies. We hadn't built the wonderful community we have going now. Hoo even wrote me at one point and asked me to not abandon the site because of the flaming, and sounded a little afraid that it was chasing away many of the old stand bys. Well, y'all are here, and y'all are wonderful and there are so many of you that there are a lot of truely interesting threads going on above and beyond all of the flaming and the DDs etc. (Thank goodness for Hairy Pony, for one thing, though I do wish he would s... or get off the pot.) This isn't just congratulations and thank yous, this is also "This too shall pass." As a Texan who transplanted himself here from Colorado, I really and truely think that there is something about the first onslaught of really hot weather that brings out the mean crazies, both the people and the feelings in all of us, even more so than a full moon. Love y'all!, Bilbo

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Guest pickwick

>Well, if I misunderstood what you

>are saying about how you

>view this site, then I

>apologize. But, I can

>see how you might find

>some of this site entertaining,

>but I would hope it

>does not reach a level

>of "comical" or ridiculous.

>I, having a full-time "regular"

>job, am a part-time escort

>in the sense that I

>accommodate appointments when my schedule

>is able. But I

>know that there are other

>guys that rely solely on

>escorting as a means to

>pay bills, eat, and live.

> I can see how

>this site could be a

>very important asset to an

>escorts career. So, implying

>that this site is merely

>entertaining seems harsh. I

>understand that there are always

>going to be a few

>"bad apples" (the Danny Damon

>thread), but I hope that

>the majority will still recognize

>the potential importance this site

>offers the world of escorting.

> Maybe I am wrong,

>but I don't think Hooboy

>works as hard as he

>does for the "entertainment value"

>you seem to feel his

>site offers. Don't get

>me wrong, I have literally

>laughed myself to tears over

>his witty replies to emails,

>but all in all, feel

>he works hard to offer

>this site as a reference

>tool rather than a place

>to sign on for laughs.

>

 

I've never seen anything on this site that I thought was witty, but plenty that I thought was ridiculous. The only reason to hire an escort is to have a few laughs, with very rare exceptions it's not about friendship, love, family or anything of any lasting value. So it doesn't make a lot of sense to me to take reviews of escorts or arguments about their "reputations" seriously. I think Traveller has the right attitude.

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Guest elwood

Regarding the impact of this site...... the "Danny Damon" thing sheds some light. This fiasco really shows, as Hooboy actually has always warned, that this site is simply a guide. It can be incredibly misused. This episode really reduces the sites credibility in a major way in my view but should not be all that surprising. I have only been viewing this site since last September but this is a real eye openner.It seems that even the credible reviewers here ( and there are several whose reviews I really pay attention to) can be impersonated by those clever and demented enough to try. Ours is indeed a very twisted world. A few more episodes like this and it will be very difficult to trust anything here. I don't see this as Hooboys fault or anything because he bends over backwards to prevent it...but that is the problem...the nature of this forum and the technology makes this hard to avoid. But as someone else said.....there is still the entertainment value.....which I am more and more inclined to agree...is what the escort/client thing is really about. And I do also enjoy the more philosophical/ethical/psychological forum that has kind of evolved with a few posters here.And I enjoy the humor here (both intentional and unintentional). The "flaming",fighting,jealousy,manipulation, "hidden agenda",character assassination, etc.,I can do without.

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Guest AllAmerEscrt

>I've never seen anything on this

>site that I thought was

>witty, but plenty that I

>thought was ridiculous. The

>only reason to hire an

>escort is to have a

>few laughs, with very rare

>exceptions it's not about friendship,

>love, family or anything of

>any lasting value. So

>it doesn't make a lot

>of sense to me to

>take reviews of escorts or

>arguments about their "reputations" seriously.

> I think Traveller has

>the right attitude.

 

 

Wow, you really are sad. I can honestly say that if escorts took the same attitude toward clients as you do toward escorts, then we might all start following the example of Anthony Holloway's disrespectful actions. I personally try to make sure, even before agreeing to meet with someone, that both of us will have a great time and completely satisfied after we meet. If you only use this site to hire boys for "laughs", then the only advice, or should I say warning, is the laws of Karma. "What goes around, comes around." And it maybe one of these boys from this site who has the last laugh on you!!!

Matt

Tampa

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Guest pickwick

LAST EDITED ON Apr-12-01 AT 01:12PM (EST)[p]>Wow, you really are sad.

>I can honestly say that

>if escorts took the same

>attitude toward clients as you

>do toward escorts, then we

>might all start following the

>example of Anthony Holloway's disrespectful

>actions.

 

Holloway wasn't accused of being disrespectful, he was accused of being a thief. Several people wrote that he got them to give him money and then took off or never showed up at all. I'm sorry to hear that you'd consider doing something like that.

 

> If you only use

>this site to hire boys

>for "laughs",

 

 

Is there some other reason to hire a hooker?

 

 

then the only

>advice, or should I say

>warning, is the laws of

>Karma. "What goes around,

>comes around." And it maybe

>one of these boys from

>this site who has the

>last laugh on you!!!

>Matt

>Tampa

 

Before you start lecturing others about "the laws of Karma" you should try learning something about what that word means. For a beginner, I recommend "Karma and Chaos" by Paul R. Fleischman, M.D.

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Guest LAbuyer

I just started hiring escorts, only a few, but I think this site is really helpful. Like anything, it will be abused, but overall it really helps to see that the escort is a safe person to see. One bad review doesn't faze me too much, but when they have alot, then I'll stay away. Thanks for the service.

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Guest shadow

>LAST EDITED ON Apr-12-01

>AT 01:12 PM (EST)

>

>>Wow, you really are sad.

>>I can honestly say that

>>if escorts took the same

>>attitude toward clients as you

>>do toward escorts, then we

>>might all start following the

>>example of Anthony Holloway's disrespectful

>>actions.

>

>Holloway wasn't accused of being disrespectful,

>he was accused of being

>a thief. Several people

>wrote that he got them

>to give him money and

>then took off or never

>showed up at all.

>I'm sorry to hear that

>you'd consider doing something like

>that.

>

>> If you only use

>>this site to hire boys

>>for "laughs",

>

>

>Is there some other reason to

>hire a hooker?

>

>

>then the only

>>advice, or should I say

>>warning, is the laws of

>>Karma. "What goes around,

>>comes around." And it maybe

>>one of these boys from

>>this site who has the

>>last laugh on you!!!

>>Matt

>>Tampa

>

>Before you start lecturing others about

>"the laws of Karma" you

>should try learning something about

>what that word means.

>For a beginner, I recommend

>"Karma and Chaos" by Paul

>R. Fleischman, M.D.

 

Here we go again.

 

Maybe we can still stop it.

 

As a former participant of threads that got super heated i have to say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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