How can an escort handle delicate situations?

[Guest vilage]

Hello everybody...

 

I have not posted anything for a long time, but recently I have been in an awkward situation...

 

I am Rodrigo, an escort in the Boston area.

Recently I have been in an undesirable situation with a longtime client and it just seems hard to solve.

 

It bother me a lot as a person...

 

I am attaching an E-mail this client has sent me with my response, which explains pretty well all that happened. For his privacy I will not mention his name.

 

 

>

>Hi Rodrigo,

>

>Well, I guess I was wrong again. I thought you were a little more

>considerate than the run-of-the-mill escort. But ignoring a client of

>six months duration is not considerate. It's rude.

>

>You didn't respond to either the phone call or the e-mail that I sent

>last week.

>

>I'm really surprised at that.

>

>If you want to talk, you know where to reach me. I would welcome the

>opportunity to talk with you.

>

>If I don't hear from you, well, c'est la vie. I'll wait a week or so

>before I send a review to Hooboy.

>

>

>XXX

>

>

 

 

>Hi XXX

>

>First I'd like to say that I took so long to reply u since u >sent me this E-mail in specific in which I am replying now, >because I had to have a clear mind to reply u without saying >things that are undeserving to be said...

>

>First I'd like to address why I did not reply your call or the >E-mail before that.

>

>As I believe you took your time to leave behind the date in >which we last got together, I also needed my time. As you know, >I tend to get strong feelings towards certain situations and in >this case, I was still debating with myself how to feel more >comfortable with you after our last not so pleasant encounter.

>

>I did intend to reply you explaining you what was on my mind so >that we could talk about it rationally and understand each >other better, because after all honesty is the best way to >solve problems, after u sent me an E-mail previous to this one >to aid your phone call. As soon as I read this one, I felt as >like you don't know me and I don't know you by the way you >addressed me in this E-mail...

>

>The next few lines are what I was going to tell you for not >having replied you after you last phone call...

>

>I know you got disappointment from my lack of professionalism >and the fact I was unable to provide the service I offered you >in full, but there were a few reasons for that. By getting >together with you, going to a place I've never been before, >talking to you about inumerous topics and just trying to have a >good time with you has to be proof enough that I was trying to >make you have a good time. I know u wanted it to go beyond >that, because that's what you pay me for. After dinner, it was >not due to me having an orgasm that I did not perform any ??>longer. I did tell you, and I know u heard me cuz u were right >on my side when I said this in a tone of voice u could hear, >that I was not feeling too good from the dinner, and I also >said I was tired. I did not want to gross you out with details >that I was nauseous with very upset stomach. The fact that I >was a little tired could have helped me to fall asleep quick >and while I was asleep it could make me feel better by the >morning. The small amount of time I spent sleeping did help a >little.

>

>Now, after we got back to xxxxx, even though I had spent >several hours with you, and performed sexually with you a few >times, I still did not charge you because I was not able to >provide you with the best of my work. I did hope to make it up >to you in the morning, because it is a time where I am very >excited sexually, but because we left, I couldn't.

>Once we were back, I was very upset with myself for having >chosen a dish I have never tried before, and I could have tried >to please you a little better, but as I've said before I was >feeling really bad, and i just did not have the will to do >that, and for that I am sorry..

>

>Now the reason why I did not return your phone call when I got >it is due to the following. Once in xxxxxxx I did not want to >stay with you at your home, first because I was not feeling too >good, and second I was so ashamed of myself that I could not >face you. Yeah, I am retarded but that's how I felt, and one >cannot help how they feel. Within the next several days I had >still not recovered from the upset stomach and I went to see my >doctor, and I even had to go to the hospital for further exams. >I do have papers to back this up, because it is the truth. I >should have let u know after my exams but I though u did not >want to talk for awhile. Throughout that time I began pondering >a lot. Very disturbing thoughts came to me in which they still >bother me...

>

>We have been seeing each other for quite a few months now, and >i had though we developed a friendship. I didn't see us as just >sexual partners, and I know u didn't either. I do think however >that your sexual cravings are a lot higher then the joy of >friendship in which in my case I cherished more. Maybe it is >because I am an escort and i am sexually active in a regular >basis, and I thought that the friendship between us was really >special. What bothered me the most is that, in the time that i >needed understanding from your side, you just looked away and >got angry over something silly. And that is the second time it >happens. It is not my fault I can't control eventualities. >That's why they are called eventualities. It hurts having >someone u care about and that you really like as a friend to >just look away and not understand you when the time comes. It >is very unprofessional of me to let friendship comes before my >work during work hours, but it happened and there is nothing I >can do about it. I thought this really hard for awhile, of how >I'd be able to approach you again with my new found thoughts of >you, with different eyes. It was hard and I was trying to work >on it, put on a mask and keep on, and I was doing fine until u >sent this E-mail. It is clear for me how resentment takes you >over completely that you are not able to think in different >points of views. For that reason I think it will be best for us >both not to see or talk to each other anymore. I don't mean >forever, if u want to be friends again, but I don't believe we >are to be in touch for the next several months. Time changes >thing, and it might be able to change us both.

>

>In the meantime, I wish you the best. If you feel like replying >me, feel free, but plz refrain from calling me again.

>

>Sincerely

>

>Rodrigo

>

>

>

 

If u read this far u might have an idea of what happened. We went out for an overnight and due to me not feeling too well, I could not perform for a second time. Because of that I did not even charge my client, after all he was not getitng what he paid for. What bothered me is that 1 o clock in the morning, he just decided to leave and he even asked me: U can come with me if u come down to the car in the next 5 minutes or you can stay. Your choice. My car was in his building complex and there was noone I could trust to pick me up at that time. Such attitude was for me very immature, and it did hurt. I was wrong in having friendship on the way of our professional relationship, but when u c someone twice a month, the friendship just happens.

 

If u'd like to make any comments plz do so. Any thoughts on this could help me greatly to elaborate some better thoughts. I just feel so bad when bad things happen it is kinda pathetic. An escort should not have such feelings. What can I do. I can't change myself for my job. I have to deal with it. I just wish I could help some help along the way. If u guyz want to say something or ask something plz do so.

 

Thks for your time

 

Truly yours

 

Rodrigo

[Guest Esc_Tracker]

I am not sure I entirely understand, but it looks to me that what your client seems to be miffed at is that you did not respond to his voice and e-mail messages. This probably reinforced his feeling of grievance. I think you are both taking this way out of proportion. Telling him you no longer wanted to see him for a few months was really off the wall.

 

Call and e-mail him to say that you are really sorry and that you don't want a childish dissagreement to get in the way of your friendship. Then meet, kiss, and make up, in that order. If it makes it any better for you, just remember that the one who apologizes holds the moral high ground. My advice to him would be exactly the same, though he isn't asking. If he doesn't reply, give up and turn the page. You will have done what you can.

 

As a footnote, I don't think you became sick from the meal you had together. Unless you swallow an actual poison, it takes about nine hours for bad food to affect you like that. It sounds like you had a case of stomach flue that would have hit you no matter what you ate.

 

Esc-Tracker

[Justice]

LAST EDITED ON Apr-09-01 AT 05:40PM (EST)[p]I agree, it sounds like they're both blowing things out of proportion. However, they BOTH should say "I'm sorry that things didn't work out between the two of us" and move on. The client's implied threat of writing a bad review is very childish, IMHO.

 

>As a footnote, I don't think

>you became sick from the

>meal you had together.

>Unless you swallow an actual

>poison, it takes about nine

>hours for bad food to

>affect you like that.

>It sounds like you had

>a case of stomach flue

>that would have hit you

>no matter what you ate.

 

I have a very sensitive stomach, I'll spare everyone the details -- but it's not unusual for me to get sick shortly after eating something that disagrees with me.

[Guest shadow]

LAST EDITED ON Apr-09-01 AT 07:37PM (EST)[p]dam, cut the kid some slack.

 

Boston is already short of good escorts anyway, no reason to scare another one away.

[adriano46]

I read through Rodrigo's explanation with a bit of fascination because it has happened to me that on an overnight, an escort or two was not feeling up to par.

 

At times when this has occurred I initially felt it was me, which does not help one's self-esteem.

 

However, the other side too has occurred, where the escort has come for the appointment (or has been flown in or whatever) and is NOT feeling okay. In two cases which come to mind, the excuses were more than legitimate, and I hope I treated both guys humanely(one reads these threads regularly so knows who HE is ;-) ).

 

I also remember one night when I was suddenly under the weather after a questionable dinner and lousy weather. Something came over me and I broke out in a terrible fever and then a huge sweat. I felt so awful I literlaly pushed the caring escort way to one side of the bed. The next morning, all was fine, and I respected him even more for not getting up, dressing and leaving during the night, but rather staying with me while I went through this mini-flu. And in the morning, he was a most kind sexual partner :-)

 

I am not all that convinced that Rodrigo needs to apologize to his client. Sometimes we clients feel that as long as we are paying out money, we can demand anything... but when dealing with sex and sexual prowess... there are few escorts who can perform 100% at all times, day and night. On an overnight, I tend to be more indulgent; if it was a 1- or 2-hour appointment, perhaps I would be less charitable with the escort - preferring he NOT take the appointment if he is not up to it.

 

R. - my advice is... while you should have been more honest in immediately telling the guy what you wrote to us now... Since you did not do that, and cannot change what has happened, you have to ask yourself whether you even want to see HIM again (with the hope that the client, if turned down in the future, does not turn out to be a stalker trying to take revenge on you). Personally I would move on from this and keep your distance from the guy, especially after his veiled threat.

[Guest]

Well, my personal belief is that it's always impolite not to respond to an e-mail, unless the e-mail consists of spam, insults, or threats. If there was some communication problem during that meeting, you should have expressed you side of it when he first e-mailed you. I don't know if you've had the experience of someone ignoring your e-mail, but it can be a little frustrating, to put it mildly. This goes double if you've known him for a while, and he's just trying to get some answers as to what went wrong. Of course, if he was just e-mailing you to put you down, that would be another matter, but that's not what I heard. If you don't want to communicate with someone, it's better to send an e-mail back saying so, rather than simplying ignoring the e-mails.

On the other hand, his threats to you were inappropriate and, if he was going to write something untrue, rather sociopathic as well. At this point there seems to be little point in attempting to continue any relationship between you two, unless there's something here that doesn't meet the eye. I would just send him a not back saying something along the lines of "I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable seeing you anymore." I would just keep it short, and avoid blaming him, even if you think he treated you unfairly. I have a feeling that despite your sense of a friendship between the two of you, there were probably some major communication problems to begin with. Of course, that's just an educated guess on my part.

[Guest elwood]

Rodrigo,

 

Your explanation of what happend sounds very sincere. It can happen.I feel so sorry for you in that your thoughts of friendship proved to fall short of reality. I have met you a couple of times myself...once for an overnight, and I found you to be one of the most honest and sincere escorts I have ever met. Don't let this experience discourage you or make you less open to friendship. You have a lot to give people. I have rarely met someone who speaks as much from the heart as you do. Best of luck in everything.

[Guest vilage]

Hello Tracker

 

First of all, thak you for reading all of the above.

 

Now, you are right that I did not respond to his voice and E-mail right away. The truth is, after our not so pleasant meeting we had a short covnersation and things seemed allright with us. It took him about a month to finally call me again, and I can imagine that might have felt awkward for him. As for not replying him faster, i admit that was entirely my fault and I can understand feelings of frustration coming over him. However, i got this E-mail in which you've read only 2 days later after he sent me his first E-mail attempting to get ahold of me. The truth is i did not have time to reply his E-mail before, although I did have time to call him back. I chose not to because I felt I could write better to him explaining all that was going on in my mind rather then talking to him, which at the time being, i was very insecure. As soon as I got this E-mail, I wasn't able to reply it right away, because I would probably react out of anger, the same way he did to me. THe thing that makes this situation worst for me is that something similar has happened before. One night we had made an appointment 3 hours previous to our meeting. Although I might be late sometimes, I always get there, no matter if it rains or snow, I attempt to get there ontime. Previous to our appointment, I had friends from the city I used to live in with me, but I knew they were to leave at least 2 hours before my appointment, that's why I made the commitment. However, they were not aware that the trains had stopped going to their city for that night, and they had to work late. They are really great friends. I offered them to sleep over, but they couldn't because of work. I attempted to find a train at a later time or a bus or anything, but i was unable to. I had told my client as soon as we found they had no ride back, that we were attepting to dind a way. He even helped me, but it was all in vain. I had to give them a ride. THey were begging me, they had to work and I said I had to work too, but still they begged and I could not say no to my friends that had traveled an hour to see me. An hour before our appointment I call this client and apologizing, I ask to cancel the appointment. He not only hangs up on my face, but he calls me back and insults me a lot. The next day he calls me, apologizes, said he lost his mind, and what I asked him was reasonable and all. And everyone makes mistakes, so we were back together again, seiing each other like always. But now he did this. That's why I was so reluctant to reply him, and wodneering how to reply him.

 

I really don't think it is off the wall not wanting to see him for the next few months, because it is the second time something of this nature happens with me. he has written me another E-mail apologizing for the threat, and i hope that we can at least save the friendship somehow, even if it isn't as good. But I do fear he can do other things to me, and I just don't want to be in this position. I was always a good service provider for him, I know it and he knows it. But I have many things going on in life, as well as most people, and I don't wanna be exposed to situations like this again, because they are frustrating and I am able to make them stop.

 

If you read all of what i wrote to him in the E-mail I posted, u will see that i was very apologetic.

He has apologized as well, but giving a person a third chance is a little bit too hard, at least for me.

 

Thks for your comments

 

Truly yours

 

Rodrigo

[Guest vilage]

Hi justice

 

I'd like to say that what u said is the main reason why I posted this message. Maybe i wasn't able to express it well (brazilian, ya know, I can't dominate the language that well yet).

 

I am trying to make the impact of us both closing our business relationship as nicely and without as bruises as possible. And I want to be able mentally to go on without this buggin me for a long time, and the same for him. i just want to move on, but without him.

 

And I do agree about the reviews. If I have seen him so many times, why would he never write a good review, but as soon as it is bad he would... I don't get that. If he didn't like me, I don't think he'd have kept seeing me

 

Thks for your time

 

Truly yours

 

Rodrigo

[Guest vilage]

Thks shadow for your nice comments.

I am not a client but I think there are quite a few good escorts in Boston including my roomate...

 

Hehe

 

Thks a lot

I appreciate it

 

Truly yours

 

Rodrigo

[Guest vilage]

LAST EDITED ON Apr-12-01 AT 07:48PM (EST)[p]Hi Unicord

 

I think a message I wrote earlier reply most of what you wrote

about...

 

However, u r right, is terribly aweful having an E-mail ignored.

Although I did not intend to never reply him back, by the time I was ready to rpely him, he sent me this E-mail in which you saw was a little unpleasant.

 

I wrote him back apologizing and trying to talk things out, as you have read as well.

 

After the incident we talked quite a lot. I was fine at that day. It just began bothering me after I began thinking more aobut it and I could not stop thinkiong about it. I wanted to let him know that, but he assumed I was an a**hole before I had a chance to reply him. Although I can understand his anger, that is not a reason enough for me for someone to become so extremely rude.

 

Thks for your comments.

 

Truly yours

 

Rodrigo