Client No-Shows

[ericmagyar]

Hi guys,

 

I was going through the forums and noticed that there was a lot of ragging on escorts for not showing up. I think that it be said also that there are many clients that do not show up as well.

 

Let me mention a bit about myself and the way I work. Presently, I live in Southern New Jersey, but am shortly moving to Central Jersey. This allows me the latitude of traveling from Atlantic City, Philadelphia, and other regions in the Southern New Jersey area all the way up to New York. As many of you will know, many escorts do not travel like that. For example, there are plenty of escorts in Northern Jersey who will never ever ever travel to Philadelphia or anywhere passed the Raritan River. Many escorts in NYC won't even come down to New Jersey. So, when an escort travels, he spends a great deal of more time to get to and from the client than many of his cohorts.

 

Two weeks ago, I actually had two no-show clients. Unfortunately, to the fact that I travel, I have no way of knowing who really is legit and who is not. For one of these trips, I traveled up the the New Jersey/New York border (2 hours away) and the client was not even there. Here, I defiedd my own rule. Usually, I won't ever meet a client in a parking lot, yet I believed the guy when he said that he was an honest guy and was just very scared to go into the hotel. He wanted to meet me there and have me check in.

 

The second situation occurred in Manalapan, NJ, a beach area. Here, a client asked me to come by to his home. When I got there, he did not answer the door, two cars were there - one in his garage, and when I walked to the side of the house, one could see that his laptop was on. Now, I know that I look better in person than even in my photos, so I know that my looks were not a problem. After all, he found me off the net, and I have never gotten any complaints about my looks. Hence, this is another classic example of a client who flakes out. Of course, it took me 1.5 hours to get there and another 1.5 hours to get back. Yet, these are the perils of the job.

 

I'll tell you one thing, I will certainly be sticking to my rules now, no matter what the incentive. In other words, unless I get an exact address of the location (or in the case of a hotel, the hotel room number that the client is in, so that I can call and confirm it), I won't show up. Of course, this does little to effect the second situation where the client was clearly home, in fact for a set specific time. I waited a half hour in that case, and actually called 5 mintues before I arrived to get a busy signal. Nevertheless, when people complain of escorts not showing up, it is only fair to also state how some clients diss us escorts.

 

I even have this guy calling me every few weeks from New York City claiming that he'll offer $5,000 for me to drive up at midnight or such. Again, this is another scan, and us escorts have to learn from these "losers."

 

I hope I have been able to explain a little about escorts who travel to clients (not far enough for an air travel, but close enough for auto travel) and the perils of our own jobs.

 

Thanks,

 

Eric

http://ericmagyar.com

[NASAguy]

Eric-

Thanks for your input to this topic. It goes to show again the kind of frustration and additional expenses that escorts incur beyond what the customer normally thinks of. It's definitely a 2 way street here.

I know you had to drive several hours when we met last year in Baltimore. I plan to visit next time in Philadelphia to save you some travel time. Looking forward to another wonderful time!

[Guest Traveler]

>Hi guys,

>

>I was going through the forums

>and noticed that there was

>a lot of ragging on

>escorts for not showing up.

> I think that it

>be said also that there

>are many clients that do

>not show up as well.

>

>

>

>Two weeks ago, I actually had

>two no-show clients. Unfortunately,

>to the fact that I

>travel, I have no way

>of knowing who really is

>legit and who is not.

> For one of these

>trips, I traveled up the

>the New Jersey/New York border

>(2 hours away) and the

>client was not even there.

 

I'm sorry to hear that you were stood up. Whoever did that to you was incredibly rude. Of course, two wrongs don't make anything right. If an escort doesn't show up without letting the client know first that he can't make it, the escort is being really rude, whether or not he's had other people flake on him. I think that a prudent course of action which might help you would be to require a "travel deposit" on any meeting requiring you to drive more than an hour round-trip, especially for a first-time client. I think most clients, myself included, can understand this policy as necessary for your protection. After all, if some guy lives out in the boonies, he's not going to be in a position to be too demanding.

[Guest elwood]

Eric,

 

You are totally justified and wise to have this rule. Clients who "stand up" escorts are undercutting the trust that needs to be there. An escort sets an appointment and sometimes travels quite far. He also may have to turn down another offer because he is already booked and if the client flakes out...the escort has wasted that time. Both escorts and clients need to be ethical enough to get in touch with the other person if plans change. When circumstances change it is perfectly valid for either the client or the escort to cancel...no problem. But to just not show up with no message really sucks. It has happened to me. I now have a personal rule that I will not travel to another city just to meet an escort but only will hire if I am already going to the city for other reasons. That way,if I get a "no show" my trip is not wasted. The only person I would travel just to see is an escort I have know for some time and have come to trust. Professional escorts like you,Eric...deserve to be treated with respect and consideration. And those fools who stood you up...don't know what they missed. I have never met you but have seen your website and your pics. They are so hot. Good luck to you and thanks for the posting here.

[Guest Consultant_online]

>Clients who "stand up" escorts

>are undercutting the trust

>that needs to be there.

 

I agree, absolutely. Experienced clients and experienced escorts learn to listen very carefully to each other to decide whether the other party is trustworthy. Beyond lessons learned from experience, both parties also, I think, develop a kind of instinct as to who is going to be reliable and safe before committing to that critical first meeting. This is one of the reasons some people prefer to deal only with agencies - they expect that the agency has screened out the bad apples in both the client and escort populations. An independent escort does not have that advantage, and must resort to experience and instinct. In the mid-1970's my best friend was an escort in Boston. If his "sixth sense" told him not to deal with someone, he would just not see the client not matter what was offered. He would not travel out of the city without an advance deposit. Any experienced client should expect this from an experienced escort - I would think the escort was unprofessional if he didn't insist on such basic self-protections as hotel / residence verification and travel deposit.

 

>Both escorts and clients need

>to be ethical enough to

>get in touch with the

>other person if plans change.

>When circumstances change it is

>perfectly valid for either the

>client or the escort to

>cancel...no problem. But to just

>not show up with no

>message really sucks. It has

>happened to me. I now

>have a personal rule that

>I will not travel to

>another city just to meet

>an escort but only will

>hire if I am already

>going to the city for

>other reasons. That way,if I

>get a "no show" my

>trip is not wasted. The

>only person I would travel

>just to see is an

>escort I have know for

>some time and have come

>to trust.

 

I couldn't put that any better - if you have to travel on business and you can afford it, why be alone in your room? But I would probably not make a special trip just to see someone new, if they were independent. An agency, maybe, if prior arrangements had been made and confirmed.

 

Independent escorts have a real challenge to filter out the jerks, the scammers, and the outright dangerous ones; we should expect them to be cautious at first. As clients we need to act responsibly and if our situation changes we should always e-mail or phone the escort to cancel as early as possible. I have also learned to be very careful about making tentative appointments - I had a situation where I told the escort I would be in his city for business on a certain day, and that IF, repeat IF I could get free I would call at a certain time to set up an appointment. The escort took that to mean a firm commitment; and was very upset when I did not call, saying he had turned down another potential client to wait for me. An unfortunate misunderstanding, which I now avoid by being much more careful with my inquiries.

[ericmagyar]

Hi,

 

I appreciate your sentiment about a travel deposit for any escort that has to drive more than an hour. Where that is a good idea, it certainly is not practical in New Jersey. Let me explain: Most clients are suburban. They don't live next to a city like New York or Philadelphia. They require you to travel to them. A travel deposit for a one hour appointment is certainly unheard of and cannot essentially work.

 

As to escorts who do not show up, I agree with you, but my point was that there are many comments about escorts who do not show up, and little to no comments about clients who do the same. There seems to be this constant ragging on all escorts and thus grouping them together. You and I know that is wrong. It's almost like some people try to discredit escorts or make them into a lower strata of people, which is also wrong.

 

Eric

http://ericmagyar.com

[ted]

I think this is just a matter of consideration and respect for the other person. If something happens which causes either party to have to change their plans, it is their responsibility to inform the other person ASAP. I know some escorts try and impose a cancellation fee of 1/2 the regular fee if no showed - they don't always collect, but if the client wishes to see them again they do. Personally, I have never flaked on an escort, but I have been stood up. In that particular case, even though I had seen him before, and had actually spoken to him on the phone around 2PM, he never showed at 8PM, and didn't respond to his pager. When I emailed next day to ask what happened, he said he had a prior commitment to a political campaign, which sounded very fishy. If he had said at 2 he wasn't coming, I could have looked for someone else,

[Guest HQ]

Whether it is an escort or a client common courtsey should always be used when one cannot make an appointment. It only takes a few minutes to make a quick phone call or send off a email if it can reach the person timely. I have a hard time understanding why someone would intentially not show and or not call to advise the other of the situation. People need to show more respect for each other.

[Matt_Vancouver]

This is actually more common that most think.

I have come to think that the reason a client is a no show, is usually because they are experimenting, and get freaked out when it becomes a reality.

There is really no excuse. But I chalk it up to an unfortunate part of the business.

Matt(some parts may stand up on there own)

 

http://go.to/mattsplace

matt_escort@yahoo.com

[MiamiLooker]

From what one of my friends who escorts tells me, a lot of these could just be pranksters not potential clients...sorta like the calls kids make asking "is your refridgerator running?"

[Guest Jason Reardone]

http://www.JasonReardone.cjb.net

 

Eric, It's refreshing to read your account of client no-show experiences. A problem that effects so many of us and yet to this point little has been published to outline the degree of importance. I think I speak for most every escort (at least the one's for which I'm acquainted) when I say this is an on-going problem and an unfortunate "occupational hazard" however, I think for me anyway there is some recourse in thought.

 

Whenever any incident occurs (primarily an escort no-show), in my opinion, it's the escorts responsbility to establish and confirm an open line of communication with the client. Corporate leadership seminars teach that if communication lines are not established or maintained with other individuals (sender vs. receivers of information) then there the source of breakdown lies with the sender, the escort (the sender of the communication is the individual at most risk of losing credibility therefore should be accountable for proper delivery) . This says nothing about receiver interpretation and I don't want to make unparalleled comparisons but I think you see my point. With regard to escort no-shows, in my opinion, the escort should #1 follow-up immediately, #2 divulge some explanation for the missed appt or error #3 take responsbility for at least the poor communication that may have led to the problem if nothing else (regardless of the faulted party), and finally but not limited to #4 offering compensatory actions to resolve the issue.

 

In the case of a client no-shows, well what do I say? I have experienced this in my "day" profession where we rely on daily even hourly appointments of "clients" that we visit in their homes as well. I've been able to perfect an appropriate method of confirmation and schedule keeping that keeps both the "client" and the biz-person (escort in this case) in "check". By that I mean the process specifically landmarks client accountibility and implies escort responsibility.

 

I too had a client flake on a very critical appointment recently. Although he did call a few hrs before, my loss was considerable not simply from the appointment itself but from the many clients I turned away for this two-day appointment that had been booked one week prior and required air travel.

 

When the client spoke with me he lamented severe domestic complications led to the abrupt end of his 5 year relationship wich coincidentally also included air travel. Needless to say my loss was relatively insignificant to his. Because I was able to establish and maintain a rapport with the client he felt comfortable sharing this with me.

 

To what end? Well he subsequently tried to re-book the appointment only minutes before the original appt time and a few hours after he originally canceled. I quickly explained that re-booking after such domestic discourse would not make for a successful (what I term "healthy") session, which quite honestly had a greater potential to reflect poorly on me and my perceived "performance". He agreed and rescheduled for another weekend.

 

I am in no way suggesting that I am unique or that this problem is unique. I am simply outlining what seems to work quite well for me in my "day" profession as well as escorting and seems to be duplicated in many seminars I have attended addressing "Communication Issues".

 

Well I hope that if nothing else readers can find some vailidating comments in this posting and that it may reinforce the importance of client participation and escort responbility equally. -Jason

[Guest Brenden Knight]

LAST EDITED ON Mar-24-01 AT 10:40AM (EST)[p]

 

Brenden

[ted]

Professionalism obviously means nothing to you. Your self proclaimed actions are most unprofessional. There were professional ways to handle all the situations mentioned, and you chose the "other" way. Once you have confirmed an appointment it is your obligation to keep it-none of these situations was an emergency -death in the family, flight cancelled, injury. One simply plans ahead, and does not accept new appts if they interfere with previously confirmed ones unless they can be rescheduled by mutual consent with the client beforehand. One politely refuses to extend beyond a time which will interfere with the next client, but offers to hook up again later. Your pictures look pretty hot, but you're off my list unless the attitude changes.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

LAST EDITED ON Mar-24-01 AT 09:36AM (EST)[p]>... Or (and

>this happened the other day)

>I had an appt in

>the morning with someone. They

>wanted to extend the appt.

>and overbid the other person

>scheduled for later by wanting

>to extend thier time. Because

>I was with this client

>the entire time I wasn't

>able to make a phone

>call or email(I even asked

>if he would mind me

>calling the other guy). I

>felt bad, but hey what

>could I do. Needless to

>say the other guy was

>pissed.

>Lastly, someone will come into town

>spur of the moment and

>I will tell them I

>have someone scheduled. They then

>will overbid the other person

>for that time since they

>aren't going to be in

>town for very long etc

>etc..... The other person is

>ALWAYS upset at me and

>verbally excersizes that.

>Professionalism does mean something to me.

>However, we are talking about

>highest bidder.

 

Well, Brendan, (if you are Brendan Knight) you just overbid me right off your potential list of clents... and anyone else, I think, who has any sense.

>

>Well, that's about all my exp

>in the matter....

 

This has to be the second most ill considered post I recall seeing on these boards... whatever your reprehensibile business practices. That anyone could be so stupid does give me pause that you are not Brendan but someone doing a number on him. If you are Brendan then you might want to look into a brain transplant.

[Justice]

The fact that you deleted the contents of your post speaks volumes about you. Fortunately, Tampa Yankee took the time to copy a quote from your original post so that we all know how you operate. I would think long and hard before hiring you.

[CT Dick]

If I have an appointment, the bidding is closed!

 

If the escort lets me know that he has a hot offer and asks me to reschedule for a reduction or some other consideration, that is my option.

 

I agree with TY, dumping me for someone who calls later is UNACCEPTABLE. (Pardon my shouting but this is real upsetting.)

 

Dick

[ericmagyar]

Hi everyone,

 

I'm not sure why everyone went off on a tangent against this guy, whether justified or now....but let's try to get back onto the real schedule - that is, when clients plan a meeting and do not show up.

 

Again, amazingly in my opinion, this happened to me on Thursday. I had a client who was a repeat client, no less......he had me drive 2.5 hours to NYC (my usual time to get to NYC to see him) to meet him at a hotel. He's done this several times. We were supposed to meet at 3 pm, but he did not show up. I waited there till 4 pm. Now, I hope he is okay. It seems very unusual, but then again.....I've had this happen several times. Any advice for the skeptic?

 

Eric Magyar

 

P.S. For those who are interested, my first film, "Budapest Boys" is now available as of this week in video stores across the USA - re-edited and boxed.

 

You can see a copy of the box at my web - http://ericmagyar.com

[Guest Traveler]

he had me drive

>2.5 hours to NYC (my

>usual time to get to

>NYC to see him) to

>meet him at a hotel.

> He's done this several

>times. We were supposed

>to meet at 3 pm,

>but he did not show

>up. I waited there

>till 4 pm. I've had this

>happen several times. Any

>advice for the skeptic?

 

I hate to be blunt, but your choices are (a) move closer to where the action is so you don't have to drive to get to most clients, (b) demand a payment up front if you have to drive a distance where it would bother you to go if the guy doesn't show up, or © don't be upset when people stiff you like that. If this keeps happening, you have to face reality. You can only change yourself, not other people. And, as you have noticed, there are lots of rude people out there.

[Justice]

Bummer! :-( The fact that a regular client did this to you is VERY disconcerting to say to least. You're not only lost your fee (to say nothing about the fact that you could have scheduled someone else!), but you're also out tolls, gas, and parking -- which doesn't come cheap in New York. x( I would contact the client and see what he has to say. (I hope that you at least have an e-mail address for him!) If he doesn't have a reasonable explanation (or if he fails to respond to the e-mail), than I would write him off as a client. (I would seriously think about writing him off even if he HAS a good explanation. What he did to you is rude and inconsiderate.) In the case of new clients, I strongly recommend that you insist upon an upfront deposit for your travel time. (Unfortunately, this policy may also wind up costing you a few clients.) Regular clients deserve the benefit of the doubt -- but as you learned the hard way, you sometimes can't depend upon them either.

[Guest Joey Ciccone]

>>Any advice for the skeptic?<<

 

 

 

>I hate to be blunt, but your choices are (a) move closer to where the action is so you don't have to drive to get to most clients<

 

 

 

This assumes there is no other 'action' where he's at now. Moving might create new problems for seeing currently local clients.

 

 

 

>(b) demand a payment up front if you have to drive a distance where it would bother you to go if the guy doesn't show up<

 

 

 

This is just not feasible

 

 

 

>© don't be upset when people stiff you like that<

 

 

 

Very sound advice with which I almost completely agree. I can't completely agree because I always get pissed myself when stiffed by a no-show, so I know how Eric feels. It's impossible not to have that reaction at the moment you realize you've been left out in the cold, even when you knew that before going into this, there's a 50% chance that first time clients won't show up, for whatever reason. For me the key has been to get over it as quickly as possible (I'm talking minutes). I realize that things come up, people lose their nerve, get flat tires, whatever. It's easy for clients to reschedule or outright blow-off an escort. After all it's, for the most part, a recreational activity. One easy to re-prioritize. I've had so many cancellations and no shows at this point, that I never walk into a situation expecting the client to actually be there (with the exceptions of regulars). It is very definitely the nature of the beast. One I've learned to live with. I sometimes think the clients who do show up inadvertantly get extra special treatment (it's always at least special) simply because I'm so damn happy they actually came.

[ericmagyar]

Hi,

 

Joey and Justice...I agree with most of what you are saying. Justice, you have to understand that there are different types of escorts depending upon where one escorts at. For example, if you are an escort in New Jersey, you have to realize that you have to travel for outcalls. There's no question about it. It's not like there is an escort in NYC every few blocks, or so it seems. If you serve NJ, you can either limit your profitability and specialize in one area or you travel. I chose to travel and make more dinero. On the other hand, you cannot ever..I REPEAT - You cannot ever demand payment in advance for an hour call. It's just not feasible, like what Joey said.

 

Since this was a repeat client, I was extremely surprised. I actually don't have a way of contacting him now because he is the type who demands complete discreteness. Thus, either I did not do the first call and would not have garnered his business or I did it...in this case, I did several calls for him, so I still don't know what the problem was.

 

Eric

http://ericmagyar.com

[Justice]

Hi Eric,

 

You're right! If you're going to escort in New Jersey, you have no choice but to spend a lot of time behind the wheel -- especially if you're doing an outcall. I'm a life long resident and I have a job that frequently requires me to drive the length and breadth of the State, so I know all too well what it's like to have to drive for a couple of hours for a meeting that's only going to last for an hour or so. (Although I'm sure that your meetings are a lot more fun! ;-)) I truly sympathize with your predicament. Hang in there.

 

Justice