New to escort and terrified

[Guest stew]

Hey Guys,

 

Never been with an escort or with a guy that much and want it so bad, but am terrified. Are ou guys happy you made the plunge so to speak. Any words of encoragement are greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks Guys

[NY Observer]

Hi Stew,

 

I'd say that I'm happy about most of my choices of escorts. I have met a lot of very nice good looking guys, most of them through this site. If you look at the reviews, you should be able to find what you're looking for. Of course, that person is different for all of us.

 

If you're not sure who to hire, look through the escort listing in your area or make another post, lots of guys will help you out. You are the only one who knows your taste, so try to screen out the ones you like best and then ask the audience or phone a friend.

 

Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

[Guest Merlin]

I know how you feel. I was very apprehensive before my first time but it was a beautiful experience and I have never looked back. Let me guess. Your fear is that you will not look good enough for the escort. That you will be awkward and inexperienced. You are afraid that the escort will look down on you or reject you. Am I getting warm? Perhaps this will help. Very young and beautiful guys don't have to hire escorts and don't have the money. So anyone escorting accepts the fact that many of his customers will be older, less attractive and probably less experienced. He will be friendly, understanding, and will allow you to take the lead. He will not go faster than you wish and will not pressure you to do anything you aren't ready. Feel free to tell him you are not very experienced if you wish. And if it will reassure you, tell him on the phone that you are older or overweight etc, whatever you are worried about. He will almost certainly tell you it is ok. If it makes a difference to him, drop him and look for someone else. Just bite the bullet and make the call. You will always feel a little nervous before you meet him, but that is part of the fun. It is like waiting to open a Xmas present. The anticipation and surprise are part of the fun.

[+ Charlie]

I was wondering whether you are new to sex with men, period, or just new to using an escort. If the former, make sure you choose carefully, preferably one of the the often reviewed and very professional escorts (and somewhat older, maybe in his 30s), and be sure to tell him that you are inexperienced; you would probably be better off doing it at his place, too. If you are just new to escorts, you will proably find the first time a little disappointing, because all your fantasies of the ideal sexual experience will NOT be realized--we often have expectations that we can buy something that will be totally fulfilling, but sex with an escort is like sex with anyone else; the difference is that we can choose someone closer to our physical ideal and have more control over what we do with him sexually than is usual with other partners. Escorts are human: they have physical flaws, personal quirks, their own sexual fantasies, bad hair days, catch colds the day before an appointment, and have other people in their lives besides you. You can buy sex, but you can't buy total satisfaction. Nevertheless, if you are considering an escort because you have been unable to satisfy your sexual desires because of social circumstances--you're married, unattractive to those you're attracted to, interested in a specialized and exotic sex scene, physically unable to cruise for a partner, etc.--then hiring an escort makes excellent sense. However, don't spend more than you can afford the first time, because if it doesn't work out you will be more frustrated than ever, and if it does you will want to be able to do it again very soon.

[Guest MrB]

If you're new to M2M not just to the idea of paying for it, be VERY selective. I remember my first time with an escort--I was 18 and very keen, then was bitterly disappointed. In retrospect, the guy I paid for his services just was not good enough. At the time, it was just a major blow to my ego.

 

I was raped by three Italian guys in the showers at a Copenhagen youth hostel at age seventeen. That was my first M2M experience. Took me a whole year to get over the hurt--though I'd pay top dollars today to be raped by those guys again :-)

 

It took me more than a year to get over the hustler I chose in London for my first encounter with a pro. I made a big mistake, and the money I paid was nothing compared to the years it took me to get over the shame.

 

To recap, if this is your very first M2M experience, go for the very best. Read the reviews for your area, email THE best guy and go for him.

 

Just my two cents, but they cost me dearly :-)

[Michael]

I think that the others who have already responded have given very good advice.

 

One thing that is very important, but particularly difficult if you are new to this, is to know in advance what it is that you want to get out of an encounter with an escort, and to be realistic in your expectations. That way you have the best chance of coming away satisfied.

 

From your posting in the Deli it appears that you have already selected Talvin De Machio as your first escort experience.

 

Excellent choice! Talvin has a truly magnificent body and a great reputation as an escort. The only downside to making him your very *first* escort experience is that you will have a hard time finding any other escorts that are even close to as good as he is ...

 

Anyway, there is no need to be terrified - just relax and enjoy yourself.

 

... and don't forget to *talk* to your escort and *tell* them what it is that you are looking for ...

[Guest SFJEFF]

While Talvin is good, he would not be good as a first experience. You want someone that will take more time with you. Talvin is expensive and you really need someone you can spend some quality time with. Check out the reviews in your area and make a choice based on quality of time, not necessarily the look of the body only.

[Guest sport989]

I am 50, pretty good looking and in shape, but not so long ago I ended an 8 year relatinoship, and it was messy in a lot of ways. Escorts were one way to get back into the sex, if not the dating scene. But perhaps the hardest thing to come to terms with was that it would have to be a purely sexual thing, and not a replacement for a relationship! That is OK, but it took some adjustment, and I am not the first to find that out. MrB is so right--the guys I hired from here were mixed, but ranged from acceptable to very good. The one time I looked for an inexpensive local guy, I was real disappointed. Good luck to you--Talvin is one of my fantasies, and I think you will be pleased.

[Guest Merlin]

I have hired Talvin twice and I am sure you will enjoy your experience. You could not have made a better first choice.

[Will]

For what it's worth for your list of "Go For Its," let me add my name. You have received excellent advice; if you follow it carefully, and hire ONLY an escort who has a string of good reviews on this site, you will have done everything you can do to prepare yourself to have fun.

 

And that's what it is. Fun. For many years it was not fun for me because homosex itself was scary that I unconsciously boobytrapped every realistic opportunity; and when I tried to force the opportunity, I chose men who were just not available to me. So I know exactly what you mean about being terrified. There is no terror like it.

 

And that is exactly the reason you should hire an escort. Not so that you will discover that sex with a man is fun. Not so that you wi

[Will]

For what it's worth for your list of "Go For Its," let me add my name. You have received excellent advice; if you follow it carefully, and hire ONLY an escort who has a string of good reviews on this site, you will have done everything you can do to prepare yourself to have fun.

 

And that's what it is. Fun. For many years it was not fun for me because homosex itself was so terrifying that I unconsciously boobytrapped every realistic opportunity that came my way; and when I tried to find opportunities, I chose men who were just not available to me. So I know exactly what you mean about being terrified. There is no other terror like it.

 

And that is exactly the reason you should hire an escort. Not so that you will discover that sex with a man is fun. Not so that you will be able to fulfill a longing. Not so that you will be able to fantasize about whomever you pick for weeks after the encounter is over. Although all of those things will probably happen, the real reason you should hire an escort is precisely because you are afraid to do it. If you can conquer that fear, you will have killed -- or at least mortally wounded -- those voices inside your head that keep assuring you that you are an Asshole and a Bad Person, that your are Ugly or Too Old or Too Fat or Too Dorky, that you are Too Nelly or Too Brainy.

 

One of the many ways in which we gay men have cooperated with all the highly successful attempts to keep us in our places has been to internalize the fear. Please, do not do that any more. Every day, scores of men visit this website, scores of men who have been (and maybe even still are) exactly where you are. They know how you feel, they want to support and help you with their encouragement and their genuinely good advice. Yes, we are faceless and, sad to say, even nameless. But we are real, and we are here for you.

 

Now go out there and get yours. Any escort worth his price will be touched that you are his first, and he will treat you with respect and tenderness. But what really matters here is not what the escort is worth. What matters is that YOU are worth two hours (not one!) with the most experienced and well-respected escort that money can buy. ANY amount of money. You aren't buying sex. You're buying your freedom from fear. And that, sweetheart, is priceless.

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Hooray for Will!! What a post...

 

Thanks for capturing in words what so many have felt and endured... and

 

>... the real reason you

>should hire an escort is

>precisely because you are afraid

>to do it. If

>you can conquer that fear,

>you will have killed --

>or at least mortally wounded

>-- those voices inside your

>head that keep assuring you

>that you are an Asshole

>and a Bad Person, that

>your are Ugly or Too

>Old or Too Fat or

>Too Dorky, that you are

>Too Nelly or Too Brainy.

>

 

It worked for me -- believe me, Will is right on in this...

[CT Dick]

Stew, do it!

 

All the advice on this thread sounds good to me (an experienced hirer).

 

I have one more piece of advice: Worthwhile escorts are good at creating a warm atmosphere and are good actors. They act as if they are really interested in you and having a great time. Sometimes they really enjoy themselves but be careful not to mistake their professional interest in you for "love."

 

The session is over when it is over. You can recreate the feeling for another hour but their attention to you is part of the package.

 

Don't let yourself fall for an escort.

[CT Dick]

Stew, do it!

 

All the advice on this thread sounds good to me (an experienced hirer).

 

I have one more piece of advice: Worthwhile escorts are good at creating a warm atmosphere and are good actors. They act as if they are really interested in you and having a great time. Sometimes they really enjoy themselves but be careful not to mistake their professional interest in you for "love."

 

The session is over when it is over. You can recreate the feeling for another hour but their attention to you is part of the package.

 

Don't let yourself fall for an escort.

[CT Dick]

How did # 13 get there? I didn't hit "post message" twice.???