Things you miss

[Guest]

Been pretty down lately because it seems like all the things I enjoyed/loved are all in the past.  Is this all part of growing older and something every generation deals with?  Here are some of the things I miss:

- Malls.  A dying breed but back in my youth it was the place to bee and I loved shopping in them especially this time of year.  Sorry but Amazon and Walmart don't cut it.

- Hustlers.  There always use to be that part of town that when you drove through you'd see hot guys hanging out, eyeing the cars that drove by looking to score.

- Damron's guide.  When gay bars and places were underground and secret but this little book was your guide to any new town.  At one point they even highlighted hustler bars.

- Gayborhoods.  Filled with bars, bookstores, shops all focused on the gay community.  It was our own little world now all gentrified and mixed.  My favorite hangout has gone from gay men to bridal parties!  A great example was the Castro, it's now a tourist spot where gay men can no longer afford to live.

- Key West and gay destinations.  The Key West of old is long gone.  Once there use to be dozens of gay resorts/hotels and the whole island had a laid back sexually charged feel.  Now it's straight people with their kids in strollers.

- Adult video stores.  Once a great place to cruise or just rent a hot porn.  All but gone with everything on the Internet now.  I never really got to experience video booths and all the cruising that went on, where I lived banned them decades ago.

- Guys going shirtless.  Growing up guys were always shirtless especially in the summer.  If you were a young guy you pretty much never wore one most places.  Parks, on the street, driving in your car, county fairs, in the arcades.  Yes I distinctly remember hot guys at the local video arcades shirtless playing games and no one blinked an eye.  In college I remember the guys in my dorm always shirtless, it was heaven.  Don't really see that much anymore.  Not sure what happened but it's noticeably different then it was a few decades ago.

 

So what things do you miss?

[MscleLovr]

May I ask how old you are @Woofiecmh 

I feel you’re just having a bout of nostalgia. Nothing wrong in that: you’re merely missing what once was and what you associated with your youth.

And on the specifics you mentioned, I used to go regularly and have a drink in the Castro before dinner in the Mission, but it ceased to be a ‘gayborhood’ more than 20years ago. And I used to love Key West; I’d go 3x each Winter, but I haven’t returned since 1998.

Edited December 9, 2021 by MscleLovr

[CuriousByNature]

I think this a natural part of growing older, at any age.  Perhaps the best thing is to seek enjoyment in those things you have around you now, and look for additional opportunities for enjoyment that may not have been available to you when you were younger.  In thirty years you'll be able to look back at those things the same way you are now looking at things that brought enjoyment to you in the past.  As hard as it might be, there can also be thankfulness and appreciation for what was - even though this might be also be tinged with a degree of sadness for what you no longer have.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Holy shit, I'm sorry to say it, but since no one else is...  What a depressing post. 

The takeaway is that no matter what you do, time marches forward and we cannot live in our past.  It's unhealthy.  Progress or die clinging onto a life that no longer exists. 

As Curious said above me, you can always appreciate what came before, but you can't let reverence turn into gridlock.

A lot of what the OP mentioned is the disappearance of the gay bubble and all the trimmings that came with it.  Ultimately, longterm, the community wanted more and got it.  I think I'd much prefer the legal protections we now have as opposed to more gay bars, mecca cities and adult bookstores.

Edited December 9, 2021 by Benjamin_Nicholas

[Jamie21]

Switch it and look at things you’re glad that exist now which didn’t previously. That’s a more appealing lens to look through. There’s lots:

More sexual freedom and acceptance of difference - which has been hard won and is fragile but it’s definitely there.

The ability to connect with people globally via platforms such as this. It helps to educate and bring people together. 

Greater access to sexual health services and better treatments. 

Gay venues becoming normalised and simply existing openly alongside so called straight venues; in fact there being a merging so the there isn’t so much of a gay ghetto. The circles should overlap a bit. 

And shirtless guys still exist. In summer anyway. I’m one of them 😂

 

[Skip]

Don't be sad about what no longer exists, be glad you experienced it. Elvis ringside at the International Hotel, TIna Turner's Private Dance comeback, Freddy Mercury live, the debut of Take a Walk on the Wild Side. Memories are kind to what once was. I had an aunt...."If you want to remember the good old days, turn off your air conditioner." So we forget why their had to be a Damron's guide and why all the bars had fences around the parking lots and back doors. And why every "gayborhood" was full of small town boys that had to leave town and only see their families once a year if that. The nostalgia is kind but the truth is, today is so much better. 

[+ azdr0710]

I miss walking barefoot uphill both ways to school in the snow......

Edited December 10, 2021 by azdr0710

[+ Snbrd]

Jamie21 and Skip put things in perspective and I certainly wouldn't want to go backwards in time. However, I (and I suspect many of us) do miss some of the things Woofiecmh mentions. I can do without the malls 😀, downtowns were always better. But I miss some of the staples of gay culture. Recently heard Martini's on 4th is gone in San Diego. Are there any gay piano bars left?

[Luv2play]

As Wordsworth wrote (I'll paraphrase)

"Nothing can bring back

The splendor in the grass

The glory in the flower

But we can find strength

In what remains behind"

 

 

 

 

[+ Tygerscent]

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Young lads in harnesses tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Seriously though… I do miss the roses and whiskers thing~ 

 

[+ Tygerscent]

On 12/9/2021 at 3:06 AM, Woofiecmh said:

Been pretty down lately because it seems like all the things I enjoyed/loved are all in the past.  Is this all part of growing older and something every generation deals with?  Here are some of the things I miss:

- Malls.  A dying breed but back in my youth it was the place to bee and I loved shopping in them especially this time of year.  Sorry but Amazon and Walmart don't cut it.

- Hustlers.  There always use to be that part of town that when you drove through you'd see hot guys hanging out, eyeing the cars that drove by looking to score.

- Damron's guide.  When gay bars and places were underground and secret but this little book was your guide to any new town.  At one point they even highlighted hustler bars.

- Gayborhoods.  Filled with bars, bookstores, shops all focused on the gay community.  It was our own little world now all gentrified and mixed.  My favorite hangout has gone from gay men to bridal parties!  A great example was the Castro, it's now a tourist spot where gay men can no longer afford to live.

- Key West and gay destinations.  The Key West of old is long gone.  Once there use to be dozens of gay resorts/hotels and the whole island had a laid back sexually charged feel.  Now it's straight people with their kids in strollers.

- Adult video stores.  Once a great place to cruise or just rent a hot porn.  All but gone with everything on the Internet now.  I never really got to experience video booths and all the cruising that went on, where I lived banned them decades ago.

- Guys going shirtless.  Growing up guys were always shirtless especially in the summer.  If you were a young guy you pretty much never wore one most places.  Parks, on the street, driving in your car, county fairs, in the arcades.  Yes I distinctly remember hot guys at the local video arcades shirtless playing games and no one blinked an eye.  In college I remember the guys in my dorm always shirtless, it was heaven.  Don't really see that much anymore.  Not sure what happened but it's noticeably different then it was a few decades ago.

 

So what things do you miss?

Yes… I think a lot of that has come about due to ever growing conservative political/religious climate~ I really notice the change you mention in the castro and other places too~ These places are not the same neighborhoods they once were… I think you are not alone in these reflections~ I realize that it’s difficult to witness the changes… I commend you and award you with both the merit of respect and bravery for not wearing blinders or rose colored glasses~ That takes courage~ You are a courageous man~ It’s okay to feel the loss and grieve~ These are things that have value to you and some of these things have changed~ It makes sense that you feel sadness about that~ 
 Part of it is growing older but also, part of it is the world around us changing~ Your feelings are unique to you but, I hear them and I feel your sentiment~ (Perhaps in different ways and about different things but, I still have an understanding of the weight of “loss and change” that has occurred in my own life that resonates with your own sense of grieving here as I read your words and listen).  
 I admire your honesty here~ 
 

Edited December 11, 2021 by Tygerscent

[jeezifonly]

Only thing I miss: Innocence 

[+ bigjoey]

While I am more that glad to be living in the present, I still miss the Gaiety and the beautiful men coming out through the silver curtain for the Grand Finale😥.

[+ E.T.Bass]

When I was a young we had an amazing flagship department store downtown.   Also there were underground FM radio stations that played alternate stuff like Smashing Pumpkins, the Pixies etc.

That's all gone. 

Now we have rap, house music, and so on....and mostly internet retail.

[+ Coolwave35]

I miss playing manhunt with my friends. The occasion to do that in my 30’s is now few and VERY far between. 

[boruto]

I missed to finis reading my favourite  book. Becasue I needed to finish writing one of the college homework papers. I do not like to write it a lot because I am bad at writing it. So next time during writing college essay check essaybulls

Edited December 16, 2021 by boruto

[+ Tygerscent]

AM radio, radio programs like The a shadow Nose, Fibber McGee and Molly, The honeymooners~ My family did not have a television for many years… I’ve actually never owned one~ So, I grew up with radio~ 

[+ Tygerscent]

On 12/11/2021 at 6:40 PM, jeezifonly said:

Only thing I miss: Innocence 

Profound~ Someone once told me: In all things life, you are only innocent once~ 

[+ Tygerscent]

On 12/10/2021 at 3:11 PM, Snbrd said:

Jamie21 and Skip put things in perspective and I certainly wouldn't want to go backwards in time. However, I (and I suspect many of us) do miss some of the things Woofiecmh mentions. I can do without the malls 😀, downtowns were always better. But I miss some of the staples of gay culture. Recently heard Martini's on 4th is gone in San Diego. Are there any gay piano bars left?

“Hobos” in Portland… I think it’s still there~ 

[+ Tygerscent]

2 minutes ago, Tygerscent said:

“Hobos” in Portland… I think it’s still there~ 

Actually… I just went to look: Permanently Closed~ 
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobo's

Edited December 13, 2021 by Tygerscent

[Guest]

Are there others who miss gay porn mags? I still J/O to my old mags at times...

[Guest]

[jtwalker]

I miss the world before the internet and smart phones made everyone so detached and over-informed.

[+ bigjoey]

10 hours ago, Tygerscent said:

AM radio, radio programs like The a shadow Nose, Fibber McGee and Molly, The honeymooners~ My family did not have a television for many years… I’ve actually never owned one~ So, I grew up with radio~ 

Not to be a spelling queen, but I think  the show was: “A Shadow Knows”

 

 

[MikeBiDude]

3 hours ago, bigjoey said:

Not to be a spelling queen, but I think  the show was: “A Shadow Knows”

 

 

Confession, I listen to old time radio shows in bed at night. Shadow good, Dragnet my favorite.