Why it tends to be more game players/time wasters at the holidays

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I probably talk about this every year, but every year maybe different. But we’ve made it Thru 2 holidays so far. I count Halloween+thanksgiving because there’s often a lull leading up to Halloween also.

But despite all the “Happy, happy, joy, joy” that’s constantly pushed this time of year, I often feel myself waiting for it to end. It’s not that I don’t like holidays, food and the season…but with sex work I feel things are unpredictable. I may get a couple or few good clients, but the usual pattern is just a drab pace day by day. And to throw salt on the mood, Timewaster types seem to come out the woodwork AND more guys seem to pop up overnight. For example: the days before and during Thanksgiving: I was only averaging 1 client every other day/per location I was visiting. Not dire, but certainly not beating records either.

The ideal solution would be to get some part time holiday job, but every year never happens. I find myself busy enough September, October, and first half of November. But after Thanksgiving/Black Friday, I just find things grind to a halt. May get some hits on maybe the 2nd/3rd week of December, but then drags on again until after New Years. 
 

And it almost never fails, every holiday season I have some double unexpected expense, and anything I tried to save up is spent well before Christmas. So Black Friday and Christmas gifts don’t generally happen. BUT, I am grateful this year because I’ve already purchased all of my needed electronics over the summer, so there’s really not much I need anyway 😆 

But yah, it’s depressing. Fortunately I’ve started counseling so, maybe that’ll help in some ways. 

Edited December 7, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I just updated the post to reflect even moreso the level I’m at right now. I feel the only way to handle this at this point is to just require everybody to make a payment upfront before even discussing a session. Just this weekend already had 2 inquiries play games and just leads to nowhere. They always want to use the excuse of inquiring and getting information, but all of that is already listed in the ads. 
 

Last thing I want to do during a time that I’m already going thru things, is sit around and bullshit with a bunch of lowlives who have nothing better to do than use us as free entertainment. Why does anyone think, somebody would enjoy talking to a client, thinking “oh great, I have a client today”…only to be told, “oh I can’t make it work today, because of blah blah blah” (shit that could have been figured out BEFORE contacting me). 

I’m not giving anymore leeway. They can either pay for my time arranging a visit or leave me the fuck alone and don’t get a session. PERIOD! 😤 

Edited December 5, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[jeezifonly]

I’m especially thankful that Santa brought my essential gift early!

[Jarrod_Uncut]

That’s hardly enough though. I have my liquid weed in the form of wine, but that only goes so far. Plus I’m trying to lean up and avoid the holiday extra 15 pounds (not that I gain that much, but even 5 pounds can make a difference).

I’ve already put a notice in my profile and will be sending a screen shot to every client who contacts me. STOP 🛑 Don’t proceed without reading! $25 Payment due within 2 messages!

I don’t have time or patience to deal with idiots. They want to play me like a fucking receptionist, I better goddamn be getting paid like one. $25/hr or per text conversation. Hopefully that’ll keep the nonsense to a minimum and I can ride this holiday out in solace.

Edited December 6, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ nycman]

5 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

They can either pay for my time arranging a visit or leave me the fuck alone and don’t get a session. PERIOD!

Lmao. I predict they will indeed be "leaving you the fuck alone"…….PERIOD!

23 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

….don’t have time or patience to deal with idiots

I’ve said it before…..if you honesty feel that way……you’re in the wrong business. 

23 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

$25/hr or per text conversation.

Yeah…..let us know how that works out for you. 

Not even Hermes and Cartier can get away with charging the window shoppers baby.
You don’t stand a chance. Not because your goods aren’t amazing, but because that business model doesn’t work. 

[MidAndy]

54 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I’ve already put a notice in my profile and will be sending a screen shot to every client who contacts me. STOP 🛑 Don’t proceed without reading! $25 Payment due within 2 messages!

 

A useful thought exercise for you. If you are a client and you want to hire, how would you interpret this message ($25 Payment due within 2 messages)? What does it tell you about the provider?

Second thought exercise. Try to compare and contrast experienced/novice clients from the first exercise. Additionally, account for probability of being hired by these categories of clients. 

Finally, the third, most challenging. Estimate the impact of this strategy on your monthly earnings.

 

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

44 minutes ago, nycman said:

Lmao. I predict they will indeed be "leaving you the fuck alone"…….PERIOD!

I’ve said it before…..if you honesty feel that way……you’re in the wrong business. 

Yeah…..let us know how that works out for you. 

Not even Hermes and Cartier can get away with charging the window shoppers baby.
You don’t stand a chance. Not because your goods aren’t amazing, but because that business model doesn’t work. 

I’m not stopping window shoppers, baby. Let’s be clear on that. What’s being displayed on the ads is plenty enough to “window shop” with. That’s not the problem.

The issue is, if I sit around all week responding to messages, and then at the end of it…wondering where’s the earning from it? You say I don’t stand a chance, but I’ve been doing it all along. I took my private pics down, people doubted that and guess what? Still was getting bookings. I put “a couple” back up only because I felt like it. But I’m still charging for my private gallery. If it people aren’t lined up to buy, atleast I know I’m not giving it away for free to people who have 0 intent on meeting and paying for a visit. My private gallery is not for complimentary usage, it’s a an extended window into what I already have out. 
 

And yes, I absolutely do feel that way. I have a right to. Instead of getting unnecessarily defensive, take a moment to look at it from my point of view. Maybe as a non-escort, you can’t envision it. This isn’t about me being intolerant or a bitch by any means. This is simply saying: you need to show ahead of time that you are INVESTED in my time. If you just playing around, and expecting me to give immediate attention and start sending pics out with no real guarantee of getting a booking…keep it moving. 
 

I just had TWICE this weekend, my time interrupted to reply to a client who clearly had no intention of showing up. And did I get paid for it? No, but I’m going to cut that shit right now. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

45 minutes ago, MidAndy said:

A useful thought exercise for you. If you are a client and you want to hire, how would you interpret this message ($25 Payment due within 2 messages)? What does it tell you about the provider?

Second thought exercise. Try to compare and contrast experienced/novice clients from the first exercise. Additionally, account for probability of being hired by these categories of clients. 

Finally, the third, most challenging. Estimate the impact of this strategy on your monthly earnings.

 

 

I have to mention: I was being slightly facetious in the wording, and it’s not stated in that way verbatim. That was just a simplified version.
 

The way I am saying it is: “Due to the usual increase in Timewaster’s and game players during the holidays, and the fact that I am not in a place where I can allow people to continually BORROW FROM MY LIMITED EMOTIONAL PIGGY BANK, I am asking that all clients start with a small initial payment ($25) during their first contact. I’m not asking for $50,000. I also included: I am not making exceptions for other guys you booked not showing up. What does that have to do with me? I have 40 good reviews on RentMen and 11 on RentMasseur. I can’t carry the burden of what another escort who has nothing to do with me, did to you. 

I even told a client I previously met this. He contacted me and asked to send him a couple pics. I stopped him right there and explained: “if you want me to do that, it’s going to be $25.” And I explained to him that I cannot keep lending out time/pics/attention for free, when I’m not being given any guarantee of an appointment. I’ve not had a booking since last Monday (not counting my trusted “sponsor” who lives in town). That’s a whole week plus a weekend without any serious bookings, meanwhile I’ve got bills and expenses coming in. 
 

What makes anyone think I’m just going to sit and smile thru this, and not take it upon myself to do ANYTHING to improve the circumstances? You can ask me those questions, but what I want to know is: well what about the ones who are paying nothing yet clogging up my phone lines? That’s not just lost money: that’s lost time, energy, and unnecessary disappointment. I refuse. I refuse. I refuse.

 

What some also don’t understand: certain markets you HAVE to carry out such drastic tactics because the clients are so difficult. There’s some cities where I don’t ever have to worry about asking for a deposit. They’ll either send it without question, or show up without me requiring one. Other places, I have to constantly keep my guard up and be on their asses about keeping appointments and sending one.

It’s the same shit I tell people when I’m in hotels. If I only booked a room for 1 night, but they want to show up after checkout time…I need a deposit. If they want to dick around and not send one, guess what? I’m checking out and either going home or going to my next destination. I did the same thing in Atlanta last week, and glad I did. Guy kept saying, “idk how my day is going to turn out”. I told him: well then YOU get a hotel, because I’m not about to drop another $130 for somebody who can’t make up their mind.

And it’s situations like that: that I need to be paid for. Even Bobby Blake said it in his biography, he was making porn studios pay him even when the other model didn’t show. It’s all about RESPECT.

Edited December 6, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[dbar123]

Sounds like someone needs a holiday hug…

Maybe you should spend your holiday in a more lucrative place like NYC or SF. When I hire this time of year I usually tip higher too.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

I’m definitely considering, but I did just get home from a 2 week tour last week. But my local markets in the Midwest have been trash. I’m going to have to work in a spontaneous trip between the next 2 and a half weeks before Christmas. My piggy bank and my patience are running very low. This time last year, it was almost identical. 
 

However, part of the issue right now with traveling is the expenses are really high. I don’t do much or any flying, but gas prices have really been stifling. It’s worse in the major cities than it is in the rural areas, so it can be avoided to a degree. But also too, hotels have also been running higher than last year. So despite traveling being a great idea, I can’t really start a trip until I make enough at home. 
 

That’s the part where it can get really stuck and frustrating: I want to travel/tour but I have to make sure I have enough to do so comfortably, and be sure people are SERIOUS before I arrive. Hence the reason for deposits. Going to a city like NYC and SF isn’t cheap. I’ll need to arrive with atleast $400 of “free” spending money for hotel/dining/incidentals before my first client, and that’s after the initial travel expense/1st day of hotel to get there.
 

Which is why I reiterate: I don’t have time any more….to be engaging with guys without payment. It’s time to start making $25/inquiry even when I’m not meeting in person. All the chatting for free BS, is a waste of fresh air.

2 hours ago, dbar123 said:

Sounds like someone needs a holiday hug…

Maybe you should spend your holiday in a more lucrative place like NYC or SF. When I hire this time of year I usually tip higher too.

 

[Jamie21]

I reckon it’s about $75 of your time spent writing these posts on here. 

I do sympathise, it’s infuriating dealing with time wasters. I respond to two questions, then if they’ve still not booked I just say “let me know if you want to book” and end the conversation. All the info is on my website. Loads of it, including FAQ’s. 

Some people just like the chase and get off on the talk. They should call a sex chat line. Maybe you should send those guys to one of those? “Here, you obviously like to talk about sex but not do it…call this number and have fun: xxxxx”

[+ nycman]

5 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I’m going to cut that shit right now. 

Lay on, Macduff, And damned be him that first cries, “Hold, enough!”

[Jarrod_Uncut]

9 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I reckon it’s about $75 of your time spent writing these posts on here. 

I do sympathise, it’s infuriating dealing with time wasters. I respond to two questions, then if they’ve still not booked I just say “let me know if you want to book” and end the conversation. All the info is on my website. Loads of it, including FAQ’s. 

Some people just like the chase and get off on the talk. They should call a sex chat line. Maybe you should send those guys to one of those? “Here, you obviously like to talk about sex but not do it…call this number and have fun: xxxxx”

Lol, that’s a good one to do (if there’s many in existence? Though I have a collection of old porn that has some cheesy 1-800 numbers at the start of the video 😆 

Some of these guys come off very cunning with it. They give me just enough info to make me feel like they are going to pan out, then come with the, “okay, I have to check on this, that and the 3rd with my brother, sister, cousin, husband, neighbor, etc etc”

They act like they’re making tentative plans with a friend. I don’t know them like that, to be casually having conversations that lead to nowhere. You do that with friends who you have some credit with already. They don’t know me. Who the do they think I am? I was telling someone yesterday, I will not rebook him in the future if he can’t keep the session. He goes from asking me if I can visit him at hotel in a city that’s an hour away (which he hadn’t even booked and apparently was just an idea), to saying his cousin wants him to stay with him instead, so he can’t make it. The hell that has to do with me? If you making plans with me, make them with me…not everybody else.  

I even came to realization the other week, that I’m not even going to prioritize “clients” (bullshitters) in my travel plans anymore when it’s related to friends or family. I’ve missed out on things because of lowlife, inconsiderate clients messing me about, and it ends up messing up my plans in the process. I’m not allowing that anymore.

[+ Lucky]

Does @Jarrod_Uncuthave more problems working as an escort than other escorts, or is he just more verbal about it?

[Jamie21]

He verbalises it more. These problems happen to everyone I think. It’s worse though if your client base is spread about and travel time is a big factor. Clients messing around with soft arrangements is extremely annoying if you’re trying to make plans. I don’t travel longer than an hour maximum to see a client because I don’t need to, London has enough business, so the logistics are simpler.

Example, last week I booked a client for an evening this week. A new client so I put it down as 50% likely to cancel as we approach the day. Then I had a regular client as me for an appointment around the same time. So a dilemma….see the new client who booked first and disappoint the regular or book the regular and go back to the new client to let him know I can’t now make it. My decision was to give the new client the benefit and keep the booking. After all he did book first. So I go to the regular and tell him I’m unfortunately not available but if things change I’ll come back to him.

Sure enough….now I get a message from the new guy saying that “I might have to reschedule because of work…”. That’s all… so now it’s a ‘maybe’ and I’m supposed to hang around waiting to find out. Well sorry, I know with 95% certainty that you’ll cancel on the day. It’s a common pattern. So I’ve told my regular I’m now available if he wants to book. Likelihood is he’s made other arrangements, which is fine, but because of new clients’ messing around I’m now trying to re plan things. If you think you might need to cancel then go ahead and cancel….don’t leave it open “I might turn up or I might not”…that’s not acceptable. 

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

2 hours ago, Lucky said:

Does @Jarrod_Uncuthave more problems working as an escort than other escorts, or is he just more verbal about it?

That’s a case by case question. If you ask a guy who’s in a lucrative market, doesn’t have to deal with a whole lot of BS, and/or isn’t really reliant on whether clients show or not: you may can concur the above. I probably do have more problems as an escort/masseur, advertising in a market where segregation, poverty/frugalness, and “Bible thumping” is still happening. Is that any shock to anyone? 

However, in my experience working side by side other guys I’d say no. I’ve actually seen worse. Some guys don’t really care though. Clients are a numbers game to them. They likely have other jobs and doing this just as a side hustle. Once they get their money, they just move on to the next. They aren’t invested in making client/escort relations better as a whole, they just want to make their bottom line.

But this isn’t about other escorts, this about doing what I need to do, to make it thru. It’s like jobs out there that are commission based: you still have to pay employees regular minimum wage. I actually won a case against a company years ago because of that. I worked for them for a week and a half, and didn’t get any “sales”. They tried to not pay me anything, until I got the labor board involved.

Same way it’s going to be with clients going forward.

Edited December 6, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ Tygerscent]

18 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

I’m especially thankful that Santa brought my essential gift early!

Quite the chimney there santa~ Explains your love of milk and cookies 

[jeezifonly]

34 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

That’s a case by case question. If you ask a guy who’s in a lucrative market, doesn’t have to deal with a whole lot of BS, and/or isn’t really reliant on whether clients show or not: you may can concur the above.

However, in my experience working side by side other guys I’d say no. I’ve actually seen worse. Some guys don’t really care though. Clients are a numbers game to them. They likely have other jobs and doing this just as a side hustle. Once they get their money, they just move on to the next. They aren’t invested in making client/escort relations better as a whole, they just want to make their bottom line.

But this isn’t about other escorts, this about doing what I need to do, to make it thru. It’s like jobs out there that are commission based: you still have to pay employees regular minimum wage. I actually won a case against a company years ago because of that. I worked for them for a week and a half, and didn’t get any “sales”. They tried to not pay me anything, until I got the labor board involved.

Same way it’s going to be with clients going forward.

Here’s a better photo for your profile - it will definitely help the time wasters keep their distance:

[dbar123]

7 hours ago, Lucky said:

Does @Jarrod_Uncuthave more problems working as an escort than other escorts, or is he just more verbal about it?

I’m glad he gets it off his chest. Festering is bad.

[shawshini]

2 hours ago, dbar123 said:

I’m glad he gets it off his chest. Festering is bad.

I agree. Hopefully some will read this stuff and be better clients. I’ve only been hiring a short time but in a few conversations I’ve had with some providers- they have to put up with a lot of crap.  There are assholes in every industry, but I think some of the worst people think that because they are dealing with sex workers they can take advantage or even worse, be outright disrespectful. Just my limited view take on this. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

10 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

He verbalises it more. These problems happen to everyone I think. It’s worse though if your client base is spread about and travel time is a big factor. Clients messing around with soft arrangements is extremely annoying if you’re trying to make plans. I don’t travel longer than an hour maximum to see a client because I don’t need to, London has enough business, so the logistics are simpler.

Example, last week I booked a client for an evening this week. A new client so I put it down as 50% likely to cancel as we approach the day. Then I had a regular client as me for an appointment around the same time. So a dilemma….see the new client who booked first and disappoint the regular or book the regular and go back to the new client to let him know I can’t now make it. My decision was to give the new client the benefit and keep the booking. After all he did book first. So I go to the regular and tell him I’m unfortunately not available but if things change I’ll come back to him.

Sure enough….now I get a message from the new guy saying that “I might have to reschedule because of work…”. That’s all… so now it’s a ‘maybe’ and I’m supposed to hang around waiting to find out. Well sorry, I know with 95% certainty that you’ll cancel on the day. It’s a common pattern. So I’ve told my regular I’m now available if he wants to book. Likelihood is he’s made other arrangements, which is fine, but because of new clients’ messing around I’m now trying to re plan things. If you think you might need to cancel then go ahead and cancel….don’t leave it open “I might turn up or I might not”…that’s not acceptable. 

 

The sad part is; I find that this time of year even regulars/repeats have potential to flake. This is also a time I find myself burning bridges the most. 
 

I don’t really give 2nd chances much. If a  new client or regular flakes/doesn’t show and doesn’t send a cancellation fee, it’s over. Unless there’s a really good reason behind it, and most don’t. 
 

That’s not me being a dick. And I understand things come up, and I would want others to have the same level of forgiveness for me as well. But over the years, I very rarely find a person who cancels dates/appointments on the day of, to suddenly become a reliable person. 
 

Just had 1 today who flaked out, who’s been asking to meet again each time he comes to town, but I’ve usually been away. He reached out to me again last week. Now that he’s here, he says he can’t make it work. Well, sorry that is the case but I was given an expectation that I would be doing a session today. I still need to be paid, it’s not fair that I don’t. 

[jtwalker]

I suspect your reactions (deposits, charging for messages, etc...) cost your more than you realize.  You are so concerned with billing for every minute, that I believe you lose good opportunities.  I, for one, know that I would not consider a new client deposit on a local visit.  I am certain that I am not alone.

By trying to narrow down the field so tightly that only the best clients slip through, you limit your income.

In any business, I find it more profitable to put your clients needs first.  I've known a couple of escorts that followed this model and eventually reached a point where they had so many regulars that they could be far more picky about who they see.  When you're with them, they don't seem to own a clock.  They communicate freely and just about never mention money at all.  A guy I met in Vegas invited me to shower together when we had already gone over.  Not only did he leave with a nice tip, but I'll call him every time I'm in Vegas.

You've mentioned in the past that you have trouble getting regulars.  Find some escorts that maintain regulars and learn from them.  Your way does not seem to work.  That should be apparent by now.  Time to make some changes.  If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting.

[+ nycman]

4 hours ago, jtwalker said:

I suspect your reactions (deposits, charging for messages, etc...) cost your more than you realize.  You are so concerned with billing for every minute, that I believe you lose good opportunities.  I, for one, know that I would not consider a new client deposit on a local visit.  I am certain that I am not alone.

By trying to narrow down the field so tightly that only the best clients slip through, you limit your income.

In any business, I find it more profitable to put your clients needs first.  I've known a couple of escorts that followed this model and eventually reached a point where they had so many regulars that they could be far more picky about who they see.  When you're with them, they don't seem to own a clock.  They communicate freely and just about never mention money at all.  A guy I met in Vegas invited me to shower together when we had already gone over.  Not only did he leave with a nice tip, but I'll call him every time I'm in Vegas.

You've mentioned in the past that you have trouble getting regulars.  Find some escorts that maintain regulars and learn from them.  Your way does not seem to work.  That should be apparent by now.  Time to make some changes.  If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting.

Sound business advice. 

Unfortunately if the past is any predictor, he won’t listen.

But kudos to you for trying!

Edited December 7, 2021 by nycman

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

3 hours ago, jtwalker said:

You are so concerned with billing for every minute, that I believe you lose good opportunities.

Otherwise known as jumping over dollar bills to get at nickles. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

5 hours ago, jtwalker said:

I suspect your reactions (deposits, charging for messages, etc...) cost your more than you realize.  You are so concerned with billing for every minute, that I believe you lose good opportunities.  I, for one, know that I would not consider a new client deposit on a local visit.  I am certain that I am not alone.

By trying to narrow down the field so tightly that only the best clients slip through, you limit your income.

In any business, I find it more profitable to put your clients needs first.  I've known a couple of escorts that followed this model and eventually reached a point where they had so many regulars that they could be far more picky about who they see.  When you're with them, they don't seem to own a clock.  They communicate freely and just about never mention money at all.  A guy I met in Vegas invited me to shower together when we had already gone over.  Not only did he leave with a nice tip, but I'll call him every time I'm in Vegas.

You've mentioned in the past that you have trouble getting regulars.  Find some escorts that maintain regulars and learn from them.  Your way does not seem to work.  That should be apparent by now.  Time to make some changes.  If you keep doing what you've been doing, you'll keep getting what you've been getting.

I see what you’re saying, but I disagree with your perception. I’m not “billing” every minute. As I stated before, the is more of a case where I’m taking time out to arrange bookings, and some out there are not following thru.

What you need to do, instead of trying to criticize and dictate how I should handle things, is understand the circumstances from my point of view. Try that first. The stuff you talked about with the guy in Vegas showering with you overtime, GREAT. Who said I haven’t/wouldn’t do that? I’m not even talking about in person meets. I’m talking about BEFORE meets occur. 
 

For example: since I’ve gotten back to my local market (which I admit is not a very lucrative one), all of the inquiries (3) who’ve contacted me have either cancelled or just not shown at all. So in that case, what am I supposed to do going forward? For each client who didn’t show up, that’s been atleast an hour of free convo. 
 

What you want me to do, is carry on doing stuff without being paid. I’ve done that already. I wouldn’t be doing it, if it had worked previously before. How about you consider that logic. Why am I doing? Because the other way wasn’t working. And similar like I said about taking private pics down: my level of calls didn’t suffer at all. That was like 5-6 months ago.

Don’t mistake me talking about wanting things to be better, to imply that I’m not benefiting myself. I have a right to do biz as I choose. I already did the no deposits, and having naked pictures all over my ads. Guess what? It was the same shit. It didn’t work. And the extra holiday protocol is necessary too because last year and the year before, all I was dealing was with people calling me wasting my time, and putting me in a bad mood in the holiday season. I don’t need that again.