Threatening situation and consequences

[NJF]

A few years there was another scary incident involving a provider and a forum member. The forum member had disclosed the identity of the provider in PM to other forum members who wanted to know. That precedent seems to be a good solution here. 

[BaronArtz]

4 hours ago, Rand said:

I’m thinking about it. 
 

An intermediate solution is to disclose this information to inquiring forum members in a PM - if you are not comfortable disclosing it in a public forum.

Edited November 24, 2021 by BaronArtz

[Rand]

2 hours ago, NJF said:

A few years there was another scary incident involving a provider and a forum member. The forum member had disclosed the identity of the provider in PM to other forum members who wanted to know. That precedent seems to be a good solution here. 

That’s exactly what I was going to do. If anyone is concerned about it, you can PM me for details. 

[Deadlift1]

Here we go again......

[+ purplekow]

To decrease the possibility of this kind of thing, meeting first at a neutral location is a prudent safety measure.  If, under those circumstances, you feel threatened, you can leave.   That would not preclude the general slovenliness of the home, but it might protect you from an situation which makes you feel threatened.  

[+ FrankR]

13 hours ago, Rand said:

That’s exactly what I was going to do. If anyone is concerned about it, you can PM me for details. 

I am sorry this happened to you. Consider leaving a “Met him, would not recommend. Private message me for details” under his thread here on the forum. It sounds like he has been discussed. Do your forum buddies a solid and warn them off.

[PaulM]

What city did this occur in? 

 

[Rand]

2 hours ago, PaulM said:

What city did this occur in? 

 

NYC 

[italianboyph]

Will start by saying I’m sorry this happened and that you were put in this situation. When you book time with a provider, you’re expecting exactly what they’re offering as well as physical appearance. I think it’s always best to ask for a current pic as well, for the reason the pics aren’t always updated. That’s why I always make sure pics of mine are always me currently cause we change over time. You went there with his place being unsanitary, that’s not the setting you wanna be in and you have that right. On top of that the fight threats and blocking the door alone is just another thing that really is insane. He didn’t present what he offered to you and he threatened your safety. I also think him being on something is unprofessional to say the least, unless two people agree on that. You shouldn’t also pay him for time that you didn’t spend with him.  I know you don’t wanna disclose who it is, but sometimes it’s needed so that people can be warned so it doesn’t happen to someone else. I hope you blocked him as well, and again I’m sorry this happened to you. 

[Rand]

1 hour ago, italianboyph said:

Will start by saying I’m sorry this happened and that you were put in this situation. When you book time with a provider, you’re expecting exactly what they’re offering as well as physical appearance. I think it’s always best to ask for a current pic as well, for the reason the pics aren’t always updated. That’s why I always make sure pics of mine are always me currently cause we change over time. You went there with his place being unsanitary, that’s not the setting you wanna be in and you have that right. On top of that the fight threats and blocking the door alone is just another thing that really is insane. He didn’t present what he offered to you and he threatened your safety. I also think him being on something is unprofessional to say the least, unless two people agree on that. You shouldn’t also pay him for time that you didn’t spend with him.  I know you don’t wanna disclose who it is, but sometimes it’s needed so that people can be warned so it doesn’t happen to someone else. I hope you blocked him as well, and again I’m sorry this happened to you. 

Thank you for your support. I disclose his name in PM. 

[BonVivant]

On 11/24/2021 at 2:21 PM, Rand said:

I’m thinking about it. 
 

Please tell us who it is. It’ll save others. 

[coriolis888]

2 hours ago, BonVivant said:

Please tell us who it is. It’ll save others. 

He said he will divulge the name if you PM him. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

This is an unfortunate story, however I’ve been in this situation at times. I hate to say sometimes you gotta kinda “go with the flow”, but sometimes a situation can make you feel like you rather run before you actually get a feel for it.

That said, I just had a situation like that last week in Georgia, and the client had the nerve to bitch at ME and write a review. 

Long story short, he dicked me around for 3-4 hours the morning I was due to check out of my hotel, then when I paid extra to extend, he still didn’t show up. I offered to instead go to his place since he was saying he was “on his way” 30 minutes before the 3 p.m. checkout time I arranged. Even offering that I could “stay with him”  When I went to his place, he came out shirtless (in broad daylight in a suburban subdivision). He dithered around in the garage, then wasn’t showered when I arrived (his statement). Sheets weren’t on the bed. I proceeded to get my massage/lotion bin out…but he turned on some wicked themed porn and wanted to mess around orally. 
 

Also, I step out the room to use the bathroom, there’s some guy walking from the kitchen to the living room who looked grungy and high and I had NO IDEA he was there. After an hour and about 20 minutes, I needed to go meet with family, and so did he. 

Before I arrived to his place, HE offered to let me stay at his place (which I declined having never met him before). However, we were supposed to had met later that night after our family events. I was texting and calling him and getting no answer. 
 

Later in the night, after I got back to my hotel: he started sending me all these text talking about I didn’t even give him a massage, that I scammed him, wasn’t worth it and blah blah blah. I’m like dude, I waited for your fucking ass all morning to show up to my hotel AND then came to his place and he wasn’t prepared at all. Then he held me up giving the other part of the payment (I had him cash app me $100 before going to his place because he had already kept me waiting long enough). 
 

I posted a alert on him, and I guess he seen it and went to put a report on me. Even saying, “I’m going to slam your fucking face into the ground” (good try). And no surprise: this was an Adam4Adam client. I once again question the merits of dealing with clients from there. Most of them are fine, but every so often a risky one pops up. 1 is too many. Even though I didn’t immediately feel in danger like the poster here described, it still was a headache to deal with, and the client certainly seemed to be on something. 

I guess moral of the story: there’s 2 sides to every story. I’m not doubting the experience the client here had, but I’d be interested (not) to hear the side of the provider in this situation. “You don’t want to fight me” sounds a bit forward. There has to be more…

Edited December 5, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Rand]

14 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

This is an unfortunate story, however I’ve been in this situation at times. I hate to say sometimes you gotta kinda “go with the flow”, but sometimes a situation can make you feel like you rather run before you actually get a feel for it.

That said, I just had a situation like that last week in Georgia, and the client had the nerve to bitch at ME and write a review. 

Long story short, he dicked me around for 3-4 hours the morning I was due to check out of my hotel, then when I paid extra to extend, he still didn’t show up. I offered to instead go to his place since he was saying he was “on his way” 30 minutes before the 3 p.m. checkout time I arranged. Even offering that I could “stay with him”  When I went to his place, he came out shirtless (in broad daylight in a suburban subdivision). He dithered around in the garage, then wasn’t showered when I arrived (his statement). Sheets weren’t on the bed. I proceeded to get my massage/lotion bin out…but he turned on some wicked themed porn and wanted to mess around orally. 
 

Also, I step out the room to use the bathroom, there’s some guy walking from the kitchen to the living room who looked grungy and high and I had NO IDEA he was there. After an hour and about 20 minutes, I needed to go meet with family, and so did he. 

Before I arrived to his place, HE offered to let me stay at his place (which I declined having never met him before). However, we were supposed to had met later that night after our family events. I was texting and calling him and getting no answer. 
 

Later in the night, after I got back to my hotel: he started sending me all these text talking about I didn’t even give him a massage, that I scammed him, wasn’t worth it and blah blah blah. I’m like dude, I waited for your fucking ass all morning to show up to my hotel AND then came to his place and he wasn’t prepared at all. Then he held me up giving the other part of the payment (I had him cash app me $100 before going to his place because he had already kept me waiting long enough). 
 

I posted a alert on him, and I guess he seen it and went to put a report on me. Even saying, “I’m going to slam your fucking face into the ground” (good try). And no surprise: this was an Adam4Adam client. I once again question the merits of dealing with clients from there. Most of them are fine, but every so often a risky one pops up. 1 is too many. Even though I didn’t immediately feel in danger like the poster here described, it still was a headache to deal with, and the client certainly seemed to be on something. 

I guess moral of the story: there’s 2 sides to every story. I’m not doubting the experience the client here had, but I’d be interested (not) to hear the side of the provider in this situation. “You don’t want to fight me” sounds a bit forward. There has to be more…

 

Damn that was crazy situation to be in. Sorry you had to go through all this. 
 

I came to conclusion that there’s always will be assholes to deal with and moved on. 

[MidAndy]

On 11/18/2021 at 4:13 PM, Rand said:

Hey y’all. 
So I’m asking providers and everyone else. 
Yesterday I had absolutely terrifying experience with one of the providers and wanted your opinion on how to resolve this situation or what to do, or maybe just put it all behind me. 
 

We chatted nicely for some time and he sounded like a nice sweet guy. Exchanged some pics in the messages and both were excited. I decided to take a chance and meet at his place. After spending almost an hour to get there, he opened the door. He was standing behind it and I walked in (why I did it explain later). I saw a guy with about 15-20lb extra (old pics 🤦🏻‍♂️), candy wraps, trash and cigarette buds everywhere on the floor, stained walls and sheets. He was holding a cigarette in the hand and immediately closed the door. It smelled horrible in there. Within a minute I decided to leave that hole but he just locked and blocked the door and started being agitated. I tried to move him away from the door but he said “You don’t want to fight me”. My first thought was “I’m gonna fucking die in this hole”. I said I don’t feel save and want to leave right now. When he asked why, I just pointed him at all that mess and said I can’t be here anymore. He was looking high or on something and started saying that he spent time on “cleaning his place and waiting for me” so I suppose to pay him anyway. I said that I spent 2 minutes (would be seconds if I had access to the door) in his place and not gonna pay $300 for that. After some arguing and trying to calm him down I said I’ll pay him $50 for “his time”, sent him money and ran out of that apartment. Can’t find words to describe how awful I felt on so many levels! He was texting me afterwards that he has a big dick and asking why I left. My first impulse was to explain why and what, but I decided to just ignore all that. Didn’t see the reason to explain obvious things and waste anymore time on that person. Big dick doesn’t mean you can be a dick and people will suck it willingly in this shithole. Maybe some that are desperate will but I’m not amongst them!

 I’m sharing this a day later because I wanted to my emotions so set and relax. 
 

Now about why I entered apartment without looking at him carefully in the first place. He does look like on pictures. I didn’t notice that pics were outdated right away. He has a lot of good reviews on Rentmen with only couple of them negative quite some time ago. And he actually a member of this forum.

I’m not posting his name because I don’t know what to do with this situation. At least not decided should I leave a terrible review or just leave it all behind. 
 

Have you been in that kind of situation? What did you do?

Peace to everyone ✌️

I am very sorry this happened to you. Generally, behaving in unpredictable way is a good strategy to turn the situation around - screaming, pretending to pass out, opening a refrigerator and throwing things on the floor would disrupt his way of doing things - which I am sure were done before. However I completely understand if you just froze.

There is also one pattern here. Messy apartments are more likely to indicate that your experience won't be the greatest.