How soon do you reveal that you're a "provider"

[Jamie21]

4 hours ago, Rudynate said:

They are not "technically" prostitutes.  You are "technically" a prostitute because you accept money for sex.  Guys who don't exchange money for sex are not "technically" prostitutes no matter how much sex they have.

I would add that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a prostitute. As long as it’s done without coercion, with compassion and lawfully then I don’t think the prejudice that is loaded with the word is fair on the job. I prefer to use the term sex worker which is broader and seems to have less ‘baggage’. I describe myself as sex worker. It really involves skills in working with people and understanding their sexual and intimacy needs. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’d say society would be a lot better if everyone had a better understanding of their needs and desires around sex. 

[Rudynate]

I have a new FB - he used to be an escort and is no longer.  I couldn't be happier that he used to be an escort.

Edited November 23, 2021 by Rudynate
typo

[Islesguy]

5 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I would add that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a prostitute. As long as it’s done without coercion, with compassion and lawfully then I don’t think the prejudice that is loaded with the word is fair on the job. I prefer to use the term sex worker which is broader and seems to have less ‘baggage’. I describe myself as sex worker. It really involves skills in working with people and understanding their sexual and intimacy needs. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’d say society would be a lot better if everyone had a better understanding of their needs and desires around sex. 

One of the things I wish is more sex workers would understand is they are public facing service providers. It is as you say there are many people out there who are looking for help and guidance to deal with sex and intimacy issues and see sex workers as a way of navigating through those issues with a modicum of privacy and, hopefully, free from judgement. There are lots of people out there who, for whatever reason, have trouble finding intimacy for "free" and thus look to professionals hoping they won't be judged for whatever issues they may have. It's bad enough dealing with the emotional stress from people judging you in society; it is a whole nother level when money is involved and you get the same response.

[Monarchy79]

13 hours ago, Rudynate said:

 

That’s exactly the point… to be vague, and ignite judgments and random assumptions from the person inquiring. That will reveal more about them, than what they are trying to find out about you…. 😉

[Monarchy79]

 

People need to stop trying to tie what people do for a living, to what type of person they are in character. 

 

 

[Monarchy79]

Just because someone asks you a question, doesn’t mean that they are entitled to an answer. 
 

The next time someone asks you what you do for a living, simply tell them that you  WORK for a living. 
 

if they push further, ask them do they pay your bills. 
 

case closed. 

[+ Tygerscent]

13 hours ago, 7829V said:

My only question is: if you have an appointment with a friend and a client wants to see you at the same time, do you cancel the appointment with your friend? 

My Clients always come first and quite honestly, I do not go out and do things with friends~ My life is pretty much my Clients~ I used to have a wolf companion and when I wasn’t with Clients, I was doing things with him~ He died November 3rd 2014~ 
 I really only know my Clients~ 
 Escorting is not only my livelihood…  it’s who I am~ 
 The idea of friends outside of escorting is a bit of a foreign concept to me~ 

Edited November 24, 2021 by Tygerscent

[+ Tygerscent]

5 hours ago, Islesguy said:

One of the things I wish is more sex workers would understand is they are public facing service providers. It is as you say there are many people out there who are looking for help and guidance to deal with sex and intimacy issues and see sex workers as a way of navigating through those issues with a modicum of privacy and, hopefully, free from judgement. There are lots of people out there who, for whatever reason, have trouble finding intimacy for "free" and thus look to professionals hoping they won't be judged for whatever issues they may have. It's bad enough dealing with the emotional stress from people judging you in society; it is a whole nother level when money is involved and you get the same response.

The judgement has its own agenda… and again, says more about the person judging~ 
 Stigma and stereotyping may intrinsically be accompanied by the judgement~

 Stigma and stereotyping are both powerful tools but, also prone to gross inaccuracies~ 
 Judgement can save you or be its own enemy~ 
 Sometimes it helps protect you from a bad situation… Other times it is it’s own bad situation and can create something bad. I think that it’s easy to generalize about things here but, what is really core and essential to the point are these two questions: What is the intention of asking~? What is the result of answering~?
 

Edited November 24, 2021 by Tygerscent

[Islesguy]

10 minutes ago, Tygerscent said:

The judgement has its own agenda… and again, says more about the person judging~ 
 Stigma and stereotyping may intrinsically be accompanied by the judgement~

 Stigma and stereotyping are both powerful tools but, also prone to gross inaccuracies~ 
 Judgement can save you or be its own enemy~ 
 Sometimes it helps protect you from a bad situation… Other times it is it’s own bad situation and create something bad. I think that it’s easy to generalize about things here but, what is really core and essential to the point are these two questions: What is the intention of asking~? What is the result of answering~?
 

This is very true. I was speaking to judgement only in the context of initial reactions to bits of personal information or appearance. My family owns a business and we try very hard not to judge anyone who walks through the door whether they be customers or potential employees, etc. It is very rare we make any conclusions regarding customers except for those who have visited enough that we feel we know them. For potential employees, we based our hiring decisions solely on the answers to our questions and the demeanor they show throughout the interview. We haven't been perfect, but we do try our best.

I say all of this knowing that most escorts probably don't know what things a client may be dealing with unless they are informed of them. I am happy to say that so far no hire has made me feel less than after I have informed them of certain aspects of who I am.

[+ Tygerscent]

11 minutes ago, Islesguy said:

This is very true. I was speaking to judgement only in the context of initial reactions to bits of personal information or appearance. My family owns a business and we try very hard not to judge anyone who walks through the door whether they be customers or potential employees, etc. It is very rare we make any conclusions regarding customers except for those who have visited enough that we feel we know them. For potential employees, we based our hiring decisions solely on the answers to our questions and the demeanor they show throughout the interview. We haven't been perfect, but we do try our best.

I say all of this knowing that most escorts probably don't know what things a client may be dealing with unless they are informed of them. I am happy to say that so far no hire has made me feel less than after I have informed them of certain aspects of who I am.

The beauty of a good Client/Escort relationship is the aspect of meeting together in a space that is not only physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually safe but, free from judgement, stigma and stereotyping~ 
 I mean that in a general sense~ 
 There have been times where a Client and I have explored/emphasized  stereotypes/stigma/judgement  because it was part of their growth during our sessions and helped them deal with their identity or other concerns~ 

Edited November 24, 2021 by Tygerscent

[Rudynate]

On 11/23/2021 at 11:16 PM, Tygerscent said:

The beauty of a good Client/Escort relationship is the aspect of meeting together in a space that is not only physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually safe but, free from judgement, stigma and stereotyping~ 
 I mean that in a general sense~ 
 There have been times where a Client and I have explored/emphasized  stereotypes/stigma/judgement  because it was part of their growth during our sessions and helped them deal with their identity or other concerns~ 

This.  People who don't hire have no idea what they would gain by hiring - how good for you it is in so many ways.  I haven't hired since before the pandemic.  I mentioned earlier that I have a new a FB who used to be an escort and sex with him is like sex with an escort - great, professional sex with no need to explain or apologize or hold back.  It's got me thinking about getting back into the marketplace.

[marylander1940]

On 11/23/2021 at 10:27 AM, Rudynate said:

They are not "technically" prostitutes.  You are "technically" a prostitute because you accept money for sex.  Guys who don't exchange money for sex are not "technically" prostitutes no matter how much sex they have.

Agreed!

Besides on Scruff and Grindr men have sex with other men they're attracted to while on RM advertisers have sex with whoever wants to hire them no matter how he looks. 

[marylander1940]

6 minutes ago, Rudynate said:

This.  People who don't hire have no idea what they would gain by hiring - how good for you it is in so many ways.  I haven't hired since before the pandemic.  I mentioned earlier that I have a new a FB who used to be an escort and sex with him is like sex with an escort - great, professional sex with no need to explain or apologize or hold back.  It's got me thinking about getting back into the marketplace.

[Rudynate]

3 minutes ago, marylander1940 said:

Good point.  He say's he's pansexual - specifically likes married guys because it lessens the possibility of cumbersome emotional involvement.  He wants to meet my husband to reassure him that he's not a threat.

[+ Tygerscent]

1 hour ago, marylander1940 said:

Agreed!

Besides on Scruff and Grindr men have sex with other men they're attracted to while on RM advertisers have sex with whoever wants to hire them no matter how he looks. 

I might be mistaken but, don’t members of Grindr and Scruff etc., pay for their positions there on those sites? Aren’t they actually paying to advertise themselves for sex and paying to find someone to have sex with them~? If the definition of prostitution is the exchange of money for sex… what does that make the users of Grindr and scruff etc~? If a member is paying for sex on that site what does that make the member~? Grindr and scruff just seem to be the pimps~ 
 There’s nothing actually wrong with that… it’s simply a definition for a word: prostitute~
 The stigma and stereotyping can be used to harm others… it can also be used to empower~
 Judgement against others for things one’s own self is engaged in is the transgression~ 

Edited November 25, 2021 by Tygerscent

[CuriousByNature]

On 11/7/2021 at 8:03 AM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Exactly. And that's what I explained to this guy. Just like he has to go to work, so do I. He claims to have seen me online "available" while we were having lunch, possibly on a4a or another site. Seemed like he went snooping around and came across. That's why I can agree with @Storm4U to just lay it out early. But I did tell someone couple months ago and he cancelled me out for it. 

I told a friend yesterday, all these guys on scruff and grindr are prostitutes technically. They're all on there very often meeting and hooking up after barely knowing the person. Often meeting multiple guys in a day or week. If anything more so than a sex worker because I may see less guys than they do. Hell, this guy initiated hooking up with me at a party and sucked me off in his friend's bedroom. That's what gets me about gay dudes. They're so fucking judgmental and critical, yet they're doing the same shit in their personal life. Soon as you add money to it, they want to get all up the ass about what's right and wrong. 

 

So he has an issue with you being 'available' on various sites while you are on a date with him, but he does not think it's a problem that he is scanning those same sites while on a date with you?  Seems a bit unfair to you, and pretty hypocritical of him.

[lonely_john]

On 11/8/2021 at 9:33 PM, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

It's shocking that so many would be uptight about getting paid for it when they keep whoring themselves out for free.

We have to "thank" Religions for that.

[lonely_john]

On 11/24/2021 at 12:10 AM, Monarchy79 said:

Just because someone asks you a question, doesn’t mean that they are entitled to an answer.

The next time someone asks you what you do for a living, simply tell them that you  WORK for a living.

if they push further, ask them do they pay your bills.

case closed. 

I agree and I think it's even worse in the gay world. In this day and age, assuming you already know the name of your date, it's easier to just google them and find out, rather than asking those superficial questions on the first date.

Edited November 25, 2021 by lonely_john

[Monarchy79]

12 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Agreed!

Besides on Scruff and Grindr men have sex with other men they're attracted to while on RM advertisers have sex with whoever wants to hire them no matter how he looks. 

I respectfully somewhat disagree. On Scruff and Grindr there are plenty of guys, offering free “door open, blindfolded, cum dumpster services”, without any concern of whether they’re attracted to them or not. 
 

[marylander1940]

8 minutes ago, Monarchy79 said:

I respectfully somewhat disagree. On Scruff and Grindr there are plenty of guys, offering free “door open, blindfolded, cum dumpster services”, without any concern of whether they’re attracted to them or not. 
 

Yes but that's a minority.

[marylander1940]

On 11/24/2021 at 1:26 AM, Tygerscent said:

My Clients always come first and quite honestly, I do not go out and do things with friends~ My life is pretty much my Clients~ I used to have a wolf companion and when I wasn’t with Clients, I was doing things with him~ He died November 3rd 2014~ 
 I really only know my Clients~ 
 Escorting is not only my livelihood…  it’s who I am~ 
 The idea of friends outside of escorting is a bit of a foreign concept to me~ 

We all admire your devotion to your job but don't you think limiting your exposure to others and only knowing folks willing to hire you might give you an inaccurate idea of what's going on. 

[+ Tygerscent]

4 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

We all admire your devotion to your job but don't you think limiting your exposure to others and only knowing folks willing to hire you might give you an inaccurate idea of what's going on. 

Well… my life style and choices aren’t exactly what most people would find admirable or suitable for themselves~
 I don’t do it for anyones administration… It’s what I’m comfortable with~

 So, inaccurate about what’s “Going on” in what way~?

 I live a pretty fulfilling life with my Clients: theater, movies, hiking, scuba diving, quiet dinners, roaming the world… some of my Clients I’ve known for 20+Yrs~ We are social together~ 
 Sometimes we hang together with my Clients friends or family~ 

 It’s not that I don’t interact with other people… I simply prioritize my time to share life with my Clients~ 

 The time shared is life experiences and not all about sex~ I suppose if my relationships with my Clients were only about sex, that would be limiting~ 
 My overall life experience is pretty broad~ 

Edited November 26, 2021 by Tygerscent