Coming to Terms

[Will]

Here's a question from someone who ought to know better, but doesn't: What's the difference between "kink" and "raunch"? Might answers please be specific for those of us with limited experience? Is there a book titled "Escorts for Dummies"?

[Guest DickHo]

From my experience, kink relates to S/M, CBT, leather, etc. while raunch would be piss, sweat, spit, scat, etc.

[Traveller]

Raunch definitely involves fluids (or sometimes not so fluid) and colors (mainly yellow, brown, red and opaque), but can't kink also involve small barnyard animals, frilly dresses, night sticks and electronic collars?

 

Later.

[Guest Jake]

I'd be pleased to reply here, but my shackles are too tight.

[Guest albinorat]

Well, I have nothing better to do, so I'll weigh in (mind those scales!). I think Traveller was right -- raunch involves body fluids passed from one (the dominant one) to the other (the submissive) or in some cases (less typical) traded back and forth. Piss is the substance of choice along with sweat, pit odor and and maybe butt. Shit sharing (scat)is certainly a special taste but comes under raunch. Other raunch activities might be smelling and licking someone's sweaty or dirty feet, tongueing their entire perhaps not recently showered body.

 

Mild raunch might be rimming with intensity (tongue all the way up for HOURS), smelling someone's socks and so on.

 

Raunch can be part of some people's sexuality (rimming for example as prelude to anal sex) or can be part or the whole of a *kinky* scene -- that is where one partner is dominant and rough and the fantasy is that the *submissive* is being forced to do these things (with his consent to his great joy).

 

However raunch scenes don't neccessarily involve the props and toys of *kink*. Some people who like piss scenes are shocked by b&d and horrified by S*M, while of course people into mild B&d are often not into anything else especially piss and scat and rimming (a good way to get hepititus and this worth thinking about as a safety issue).

 

*Kink*, depending on interest, may involve some raunch aspects, but is more in the realm of fantasy. This may mean fetishes like boots, shoes, feet, leather clothes which will be *worshipped* by the submissive. The fantasy ranges from being raped and humiliated by a *straight* (tough, hard, silent) man to scenes involving cops, military (uniforms, sometimes handcuffs, rough behavior from the dominant one). Of course fetishes may be folded into the overall fantasy (a *cop* who arrests you, handcuffs you, forces you to lick his boots, take his socks off with your teeth, lick his feet, who then forcefully shoves all his pits into your face and finally face fucks or fuck fucks you roughly, then pisses on you for good measure).

 

*Kink* can also involve what I call active fetishes. You may want to tie up (or be tied up by) someone (or both). You may want ropes, or cuffs, or chains or a mixture. Usually (though not always) the bondage is a prelude to sex with one party tied up (I like to tie up young studs and blow them as they squirm, controlling the moment when they come).

 

*Kink* can also involve controlled pain, emphasis on controlled -- spanking, whipping, beating, slapping, candle wax dripped on someone, clothespins attached to nipples, cock or soft areas of the body, intensive nipple tweaking, electricity, dildonics -- shoving larger and larger dildos up someone -- before or after someone is tied up. These activities (which I personally don't indulge) do indeed raise the subjects endorphen level (endorphens are the body's natural high producers) and cna lead to wild and whooping sexual release.

 

Needless to say there are people into these activities who are not into bondage, people for whom bondage is a little rope loosely around their wrists and then intensive activities as above, and people like me who are into moderately intensive bondage but not into these activities above at all.

 

*Kink* can involve fake *torture* (tickling someone who is tied up), a milder nipple twisting, wrestling someone into strenuous positions, again while someone is restrained either mildly or intensely. There is also *mental bondage* where someone is robbed of their will (that's the fantasy) by the sheer force of the dominant party (hard to bring off but exciting).

 

There is often an anal emphasis in both *kink* and *raunch* -- the grand finale is usually a rough fuck thrown by the dominant one. However that is not inevitable -- I can get pretty kinky but do not like anal sex at all.

 

Naturally all of these things are a matter of degree, mutual consent and negotiation. Since I am into B&D I can say I like to tie people up in *ordinary ways*.

 

Others into B&D get into more intensive positions held for longer periods, suspension (hanging someone by wrists or ankles), the Saint Andrews Cross (tying someone to an X shaped cross) and so on. The more intense the *scene* the more risks there are -- in bondage: cramps, severe numbness and in extreme scenes (suspensions, or bondage in severe positions for a long time) nerve damage can result. Not a good idea to try these things at home, boys and girls, without some practice.

 

In other kink scenes, *whipping* can mean being swatted with hand or crop (both can sting) to being bull whipped, or bull whipping someone who is suspended (not a good idea unless you really know what you're doing. A bull whip can actually recoil and lash the whipper far more painfully than the *whippee*.)

 

Clothespins can mean a few, strategically placed on sensitive areas (pretty uncomfortable but manageable to many people), to two hundred plus placed everywhere (extremely painful yet I am told a path to ecstasy for those who like it, see endorphens above).

 

And of course for those who don't like home made kink there are commercially available nipple clamps of all degrees of fierceness. There are also cock and ball torture implements (that's known as *cbt* in short hand). They range from those that actually intensify pleasure and thus are sometimes worn by people who are not kinky (tight cock rings) to elaborate chastity devices that lock. These are called *toys* and again maybe used by someone to heighten their pleasure without a *kinky* context.

 

Someone who is kinky may also sport piercings (nipple, glans, testcular) and *tats* (tattoos) but these things may not denote much enthusiasm for any of the above activities, any more than someone who thinks he looks sexy in leather (or likes the smell and feel of leather on a sexual partner) is into either *kink* or *raunch*.

 

Some activities are considered *raunchy* or *kinky* by some but not by others -- fist fucking for example, really forcing someone to deep throat a very big thick dick.

 

There are of course health issues. Wherever blood may result there's danger. Various kinds of parasite and bacteria can be transmitted easily by intensive oral-anal contact. Someone who isn't limber may cramp quickly if tied up beyond the shoelace phase, some parts of the body are *safer* to hit than others (buttocks for example rather than back or chest). Peritonitus which can be fatal fast can result from a careless or brutal fist fucking. Electricity should not be tried by someone who isn't experienced -- it's more *edge play* as far as I'm concerned than either standard kink or raunch. *Edge play* of course is where safety issues are not a consideration.

 

Raunch is something most escorts especially those who are older than 30 or very *butch* or very hairy can get into to some degree.

 

These sorts of escorts can often get into certain kinds of kink if they are the *top* (the do-er to).

 

Other kinds of kink require a certain kind of expertise and comfort that not every escort will have (if someone wants to be tied up for real, that means you need to know how to do it, safely but firmly and that requires practice and maybe some tutoring). Also, a client who is a *bottom* for kink is likely to want to feel the escort is really getting off on the kinky activity. That can be hard to fake.

 

For a *client* who wants to be top, both raunch and kink are apt to cost me and involve more strenuous negotiation. My experience is that if the kink (my middle-brow B&D scene) is mild enough and the escort has good reason to trust you it may be possible. However intensive topping that involves more risks for the bottom is hard to find with standard escorts (a few specialist bottoms excepted). Again if you want to top somebody, it's best to try and find somebody who is into it, rather than just going along with it.

 

Well, looks like I've written a small book. But as I said I had nothing better to do and I'm sure I haven't covered the whole terrain.

 

Al

[Guest Raffy]

I think raunch is what they do to their satellites in Japan.

[Will]

When I asked if there is a book called "Escorts for Dummies," I didn't expect you to write it, Al! Many thanks!

[Bilbo]

LAST EDITED ON Oct-12-00 AT 09:51AM (EST)[p]LAST EDITED ON Oct-12-00 AT 09:49 AM (EST)

 

While the book is by and large quite on target, since I used to teach a one day interactive class in SMBD for absolute beginners, I'd like to add:

Raunch liquids do not have to be bodily liquids. They can include such things as motor oil or mud.

Most dangerous places to hit anyone, even gently and in fun: the ears and the kidneys and the cocyx (the tail bone). (Note that two of those areas are right next to the ass - You must have good aim!) With the exception of the kidneys, it is safer to whip, slap, whatever, the fleshy parts of the body rather than the bony parts.

If, for any reason, you are going to kick anyone, only use the top of the foot, never the toe.

Always use a "safe word" - a prearranged signal from the bottom for the top to immediately stop whatever he's doing. The bottom (who often/usually is the person more actually in charge) is under the obligation to tell the top when something is going wrong, such as when they are starting to feel dizzy from standing too long, etc. For this reason, it is muy importante that the bottom not be on any mind altering drugs, so that he can tell when things like this are happening.

Do not suspend anyone by his wrists or ankles in such a way that he cannot balance himself on the floor. There are special 'suspension harnasses' made for that kind of play. They are quite expensive, but if you can't afford one, you probably don't have the exertise to use it anyway.

[+ Charlie]

Raunch is anything your mother taught you was nasty. Kink is what other people like to do that turns you off.

[Guest EvilSwine]

Summing up....

 

Raunch is anything so disgusting that anyone else you showed pictures of it too would be made violently ill...Kink is anything which people pretend disgusts them but which they might use as a fantasy while they wank.

[Bilbo]

How "evil" of you to say so. Of course, I think we also forgot to mention that kink can be as simple as a twink (or an older twink wannabe) sitting naked on my fully clothed lap. Is that Republican enough for you?

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

LOL...

 

Where else can you get this kind of humor -- I ask you.

[Guest albinorat]

>When I asked if there is

>a book called "Escorts for

>Dummies," I didn't expect you

>to write it, Al!

>Many thanks!<

 

Thank you Will, but Bilbo added very judiciously and we left out medical scenes (such as catheterization which I for one would not even slightly recommend), knee pad fetishes and baby scenes (people who want to be diapered and powdered and spanked), and *pup* scenes -- where the pup wants to be caged, trained, walked on a leash, punished and so on. So it goes on and on.

 

Bilbo is right to emphasize the danger drugs play in *kinky* scenes. They can desensitize the *bottom* to pain that is a warning sign not just part of the kink. And the *top* must be very alert to any physical condition that isn't normal (changes in color for example). A *safe-word* really is crucial; and if someone is gagged (we left that and blindfolds out too) there need to be clear finger singals that alert the *top* that something's going wrong.

 

Ideally escorts who get into this should know all this stuff but I'm not sure all do. And a client who wants to play in this way with an escort should be able to demonstrate this kind of common sense. Sadly, the two escorts in NY I know of who are pretty expert at this are pretty unappealing to me. I am not into master/slave crap, or calling someone (or being called) sir. But that again is yet another aspect of all this.

 

Al

[Guest EvilSwine]

>How "evil" of you to say

>so. Of course, I think

>we also forgot to mention

>that kink can be as

>simple as a twink (or

>an older twink wannabe) sitting

>naked on my fully clothed

>lap. Is that Republican enough

>for you?

 

I don't think you can classify that as kink unless you are wearing a red Santa suit and saying "HO HO HO" with a bottle of baby oil in your hand.

[Bilbo]

Thanks.

Now that you've remembered doggy boys, it reminds me that there are also pony boys. I've never played with one but the gear turns me on and I guess you could say I fantasize about the fantasy.

[+ Charlie]

Out of curiosity, who are the two experts in New York, and why do you find them unappealing? (Just personal taste, or something more important?)

[Guest Tampa Yankee]

Al,

 

This is a great start to a FAQ about Kind and Raunch...at least describing what it is, if not how to practice (more info than my vanilla taste demands).

 

HooBoy ought to file this with the other FAQs until something even better comes along...

[Bilbo]

It has all the classic elements, exchange of power, promises of gifts, vulnerability (back when I was allegedly escorting, I did get a client or two off this way, uh, minus the Sanity Clause), etc. Reminds me of infantilism. So, bizarre as it seems, and LOL as we do, I bet there are at least two people reading this who would get off on it. Actually, on second thought, we only need one more as I could enjoy it myself if I had the full suit available. Unfortunately, I only have the hat.

(and remember me mentioning the gay museum here in Houston (I think its at gcam.org )? Well, I just loaned them my boots til January for their exhibit on Scouts, the military and sports. See, they started out (the boots) as regulation Viet Nam era GI infantry boots, worn by my fourth husband at a base in Oregon.)