How many 'regulars' vs 'new/one timers'?

[EastCoastBtm]

Good day all-

Its getting cold in the Northeast and I'm preparing to hibernate for the winter.  I live in a far suburbs of Philly and the provider quality, speaking as a dedicated size queen, in Philly is, shall we say rather, 'small'.  I have zero luck on Grindr and, for now, have largely given up on dating.

I have been having a helluva good time importing skinnyhungmj in from NYC and its looking to become a 'regular' thing.  I also have my sites set on one or two others guys with the hope that one of them becomes another 'regular'.  I have a regular weekend guy that will likely stay in rotation.

I'm just curious how my fellow forum members approach the concept of 'regulars'.  Is there any benefit to either party in doing so?  Do you get a discount?  Is there anything special about the relationship?  Anything you do to keep it interesting?

How often do you try 'new' providers?  And if so, what is the motivation?  

Thanks.

ECB

[+ Pensant]

Over the past two years, perhaps because of COVID, all of my providers have been regulars, although one has moved on and I probably will drop one simply because he’s dropping weight to worrisome levels. I never grow bored with them and enjoy them as much as the first time. That said, I’m planning to expand my group this fall and have my eyes on at least a dozen candidates. Time to refresh and enlarge the pool.

[kaboom35]

I did have a regular but no longer live in that city.   I felt the relationship was special.  After awhile he did give me a massive discount because he said he loved hanging out with me and we are into very similar kinks sexually so I believe he was into our sessions as a human and not as a business.   It became so comfortable we were able to be open to each other and explore new territory with our sessions.  I’ve done things with him sexually I have never done with another person and probably never will.  
 

Trying a new provider I think only gives a person a bit more variety especially if they have different tastes.  I don’t have one type. I like all races and I’m flexible with age so I think that’s what keeps me from not sticking to just one.  And since I’m in a new city I don’t have my regular anyway. I’m supposed to meet with skinnyhungmj soon. We’ve been chatting to make a plan.   Hope you’ll share him! Haha.  

[Guest Looking4MuscleInSD]

3 hours ago, Pensant said:

Over the past two years, perhaps because of COVID, all of my providers have been regulars, although one has moved on and I probably will drop one simply because he’s dropping weight to worrisome levels. I never grow bored with them and enjoy them as much as the first time. That said, I’m planning to expand my group this fall and have my eyes on at least a dozen candidates. Time to refresh and enlarge the pool.

Interesting. I dropped my regular after seeing him for 6 years because he was getting chubby, not because he was dropping weight. 

[TumYum]

My "regular" and I developed a close relationship.... constant texting throughout the day.... a whole (sugar)daddy/son thing going on - seemed to be intimate and genuine.... until: one day he got an offer to work in a Grade D BB porn "studio", and immediately ghosted me.

following an initial flurry of activity, his "porn star" career seems to have fizzled, he has been repeatedly banned from twitter, has a moribund OF page, and a hidden presence on IG.

just saying. think deeply before you act.

[+ keroscenefire]

I prefer to have regulars though a lot of my regulars dropped out of the biz for whatever reason in the last year or so. Often my regulars are travelling companions that come into town a few times a year and I always try to meet with them when you do. It is nice to have chemistry and common interests. Often they do sometimes give a slight time discount. I have one that enjoys going to see theater so he gives me a better deal because he knows that I will also be buying those theater tickets (and often dinner) as part of the package.

[MscleLovr]

7 hours ago, EastCoastBtm said:

I'm just curious how my fellow forum members approach the concept of 'regulars'.  Is there any benefit to either party in doing so?  Do you get a discount? 

When I hired, I always had ‘regulars’. It was great to have fuckbuddies. The benefits for me were that I had guys I could rely on, especially when I was without a boyfriend, and I had my needs met without having to negotiate what I wanted every time. I assume the benefits for them were a steady income from a reliable “no nonsense” guy who was always polite and invited them for dinner, theatre, trips etc. And I never asked for a discount.

Edited November 2, 2021 by MscleLovr

[EastCoastBtm]

Great feedback/discussion... thank you!

I usually try to make my time with 'regulars' very special.  It's typically an overnight and we stay in and get stoned, hang and fuck.  I stock up on their favorite snacks, drinks, wine, and alcohol.  I try to figure out what movies, shows, or video games we will watch/play.  I buy them some gifts to give them when they arrive, usually underwear, a nice hoodie, something so that when they wear it, they hopefully associate it with an enjoyable with me.  Candles burning, fresh, fun stuff in the shower, massage oil heated and ready.....damn... why am I single!  

Some guys have lost their 'regular' status with me because they showed ZERO appreciation for the extra effort.  It's also VERY important that we have an understanding/agreement about foreplay and sex.  I have found myself 'waiting' for sex or foreplay and I get annoyed.  My good regulars know... if we're cuddling on the couch... I want access to their body and like if they reciprocate. 

Communication is KEY to be a 'regular'.

[+ Axiom2001]

8 hours ago, EastCoastBtm said:

Good day all-

8 hours ago, EastCoastBtm said:

I'm just curious how my fellow forum members approach the concept of 'regulars'.  Is there any benefit to either party in doing so?  Do you get a discount?  Is there anything special about the relationship?  Anything you do to keep it interesting?

I don't get a discount nor have I ever expected one.  My man is handsome,  hard, hot, and hung, and definitely knows how to please his clients.  In our conversations he seems to be genuine, and if he's thanked me once for my detailed reviews, he's thanked me twice+.

In May of this year, (I think it was May.)  I engaged his services for 1.5 hours.  He came to the hotel and waited for me in the lobby.  When I entered I noticed this handsome hunk sitting on one of the lounge chairs with his head down.  He looked up and smiled and approached me.  I think we embraced and began to leave this area.  On our way out, I stopped and told him that I did not feel quite right or ready because of Covid and that I'd like to cancel.  He acknowledged with some kind words that I can't remember.  I grabbed his hand and handed him the fee.  The revolving door opened and off we went for half a block and shared a joint in the open.  Before we parted company, he relayed that I could ring him at any time to talk, etc.  I walked down Mission St. in one hell of a high and went to a popular restaurant that was virtually empty which was not the norm for this place during previous times.  ...ordered, observed the entire environs, at my meal somewhat ravenously, returned to the hotel and I think viewed television until I decided to sleep. 

From that time I have not contacted him, for I've had various personal problems and not wanting to play although I really need to.  

He continues to escort, but right now I am undergoing a health problem and do not feel like driving to San Francisco to play long and hard.  I do hope my condition improves before the end of this year, but if it doesn't and if "my man" is still escorting in 2022, I do hope to see him and really let loose and give all of myself to him and I hope vice versa.

 

How often do you try 'new' providers?  And if so, what is the motivation?  

Over the years, if I am with a guy or guys and we connect, I haven't gone beyond that and am completely all right with that.  Although I have almost 20 guys in my "Buddy List" at Rentmen, guys whom I'd like to see but have not directly pursued.

Thanks.

ECB

For the past three or so years, I've kept with one hot Latino in San Francisco.  Each time that we were together-- our time seemed to have gotten "scorching."  He was one hell of a pleaser and a satisfier.  When Covid spread its ugly head worldwide-- I stopped seeing him but kept in contact on occasion in the chat sector at Rentmen.  I've definitely included him in my Buddylist along with about 13 other guys whom I'd yearn to see although did not.

His fee was reasonable: 250. for an hour of play.  On two occasions I engaged his services for an hour and a half which totals $375.  

[alexslaveboy]

When I lived in North Jersey 

I had several regulars who I'd each see once a week 

Escort R  I would see on Tuesday then escort B on Thursday and then either escort J or S on Saturday or Sunday 

2 of them did indeed lower their rates for me as their "weekly" client and probably saw them both over 50 times in the course of the year I was seeing them 

Now in South Jersey I have maybe 2 out 5 guys that I would consider perhaps a regular and one gives me a $50.00 rate discount the other doesn't but both of these guys I definitely do not see weekly.   

Barely monthly as my income has definitely changed since my move 

Edited November 3, 2021 by alexslaveboy

[myophile]

I see my regular guy twice a month, and if budget allows, on the “off” weeks, I either audition new talent, or set up a repeat with somebody I know can provide a hot time. I wonder sometimes why I stray from my regular guy — he’s incredibly inventive and the fuckery is never repetitive or boring; whereas the guys I audition are usually a disappointment. 

[+ bashful]

3 hours ago, myophile said:

he’s incredibly inventive and the fuckery is never repetitive or boring

You’re lucky.  Not that I hire often, but the local guy I would see every few months just became the same old same old.  Haven’t seen him since a good bit of time before the pandemic. Last time I saw a new visitor, he just wasn’t into me.  

Edited November 3, 2021 by bashful

[jeezifonly]

I have no “regulars” at this point but occasional repeats, which eliminates a lot of the worry about not clicking. That said, (like some of you), Adventure is part of why I hire, even tho I do it less now. I used to think it’s only gay men who enjoy that uninhibited now or never sex, but hetboys will admit a need for some strange. 
I shop carefully including sage advice from within. Then as I prepare to be open and hygienically ready for anything, I remember to turn expectations down to 0.5

Then once in the door, clothes coming off, boundary convo, minimal small talk, then gittin to it, focusing further personal communication and signal-reading within the kissing, touching, and engagement of each other’s parts for the first time. It’s as close as I get now to the thrill of (beforetimes) anonymous hookups of bathhouse/gloryhole varieties.

But I never have expectations. 

Edited November 6, 2021 by jeezifonly

[+ Tygerscent]

On 11/2/2021 at 5:38 AM, EastCoastBtm said:

Good day all-

Its getting cold in the Northeast and I'm preparing to hibernate for the winter.  I live in a far suburbs of Philly and the provider quality, speaking as a dedicated size queen, in Philly is, shall we say rather, 'small'.  I have zero luck on Grindr and, for now, have largely given up on dating.

I have been having a helluva good time importing skinnyhungmj in from NYC and its looking to become a 'regular' thing.  I also have my sites set on one or two others guys with the hope that one of them becomes another 'regular'.  I have a regular weekend guy that will likely stay in rotation.

I'm just curious how my fellow forum members approach the concept of 'regulars'.  Is there any benefit to either party in doing so?  Do you get a discount?  Is there anything special about the relationship?  Anything you do to keep it interesting?

How often do you try 'new' providers?  And if so, what is the motivation?  

Thanks.

ECB

Coming from a different perspective: I cherish ongoing relationships with my Clients~ I’ve been in ongoing relationship, (collectively it is a singular entity made of elemental parts), with several Clients over the course of years… (ranging from a few months on up to 22yrs and counting). 
 There are a number of clients that I met when they were in their mid-60s. Now they’re in their 80s. Some have passed away with their families or partners and some with me by their side.
 When distance or circumstances prevented me from being present, there was never a distance of heart~ 

 I love these people as if they are my own partner and my own family. The relationship is not one of ownership or possession~.
 In fact, they often seek out other boys. I often take the company of others myself~
  We exchange blessings as best we can~
  So much more is shared beyond the blankets. 
  To be part of the most intimate aspects of another person‘s life is both an honor and a blessing…
 Sometimes what we share is so intimate it is something we’d never realized before alone.  
 The togetherness made it possible…     
 The level of intimacy was sometimes so exclusive that it was something that we could not share with other people.  
  My experience is that we both found it all invaluable and the collective moments hold their own thru the demanding test of time~  
 
    Whether our personalities, sexuality, mutual caring or shared intimacy grows together or with others, it is ultimately founded in the style of Love and with certainty~ 

   We watch each other live life to the fullest, we do it together during our rendezvouses and relinquish it back to the world in the end~ I could say it’s amazing but, that would be a lie~ It’s more~ 

   What we share is a unique life experience… Not one is the same and it is neither possible nor fair to compare one to another~
  Our together experiences each bare our personalized “together” signature~ One is not better than the other, each Union is the creation of a brand new, fascinating work of art~
  Maybe with one person the piece is more Picasso… with someone else: more Dali~
 Another combination may finesse the rich Chiaroscuro reminiscent of Caravaggio or Rembrandt~ …  Yet another may resound like the muses of Earnie Covax or Monty Python… or as poetic and thought provoking as Shakespeare, Whitman or Basho~  
   
 The growth is constant and energizing~!
 There is no time to be bored.
 
 Learning how to navigate these relationships has not always been easy~   
  Sometimes it’s been plagued by confusion: lines can become blurred~ Questions arise: is this thing business, friendship, family or Love itself~
 Having lived with myself my entire life all the above have been part of my relationship with “me”~ So, perhaps it is not unreasonable to consider that the lines are more pale than we think and our relationships with others can likewise be a cornucopia of them all~  

 I started this profession in 1999… There were no books and no others before me where I could draw advice or references from other than the original Geisha chronicles exampled in various texts and history books~ Helpful as they may be, they are no substitution for real life now and the people I have met~ 

 As with even the most seasoned trailblazers my Clients and I have not always gotten things right but, we continue to share an evolving type of love and relationship. More importantly, we have come to understand the importance of that.
  
  So we move forward in our history with a very special togetherness. We support each other in our times of joy & giving… as well, our times of loss & need.
 We share together confidence and vulnerability.
 Ultimately, we have “Union”, a beautiful gift from life that takes the form of trust and love. 
 
 The pursuit of this profession and the relationships, learning and growth remain more than a blessing, they are the most passionate and compassionate design of life itself to be encountered together with another human being that I have found~

 While Sex can be powerful, empowering, epiphany-like, cleansing, revitalizing, healing, sacred, fun, funny, clever, simple, complex… (and more, the list is long), the 3 dimensionality of these cultured relationships, (and their love throughout the years), has me completely dedicated, (even when they have moved on from me or life), and with full respect~ 
 They have not so simply been a part of my life but, in some sense, life itself and that is something that can not be replaced~ 

 When we together become life itself: that’s a beautiful thing~ When what we share together hallmarks the greater and good potential of humanity, that is hope~ When our love bonds ripple thru our daily lives changing the world in their wake, that is profound~ 

 There are not enough words in any language that allow me to fully express my gratitude and appreciation for the depth, feeling and meaning these relationships have provided/proven to me~ 

 There is no “thank you” that is great enough to express what I feel~

   My “regulars” have been anything but… Quite the contrary, they have been exceptional~ 

  I say this with love and compete sincerity, 

  Tyger~  

Edited November 7, 2021 by Tygerscent

[myophile]

4 hours ago, Tygerscent said:

Coming from a different perspective: I cherish ongoing relationships with my Clients~ I’ve been in ongoing relationship, (collectively it is a singular entity made of elemental parts), with several Clients over the course of years… (ranging from a few months on up to 22yrs and counting). 
 There are a number of clients that I met when they were in their mid-60s. Now they’re in their 80s. Some have passed away with their families or partners and some with me by their side.
 When distance or circumstances prevented me from being present, there was never a distance of heart~ 

 I love these people as if they are my own partner and my own family. The relationship is not one of ownership or possession~.
 In fact, they often seek out other boys. I often take the company of others myself~
  We exchange blessings as best we can~
  So much more is shared beyond the blankets. 
  To be part of the most intimate aspects of another person‘s life is both an honor and a blessing…
 Sometimes what we share is so intimate it is something we’d never realized before alone.  
 The togetherness made it possible…     
 The level of intimacy was sometimes so exclusive that it was something that we could not share with other people.  
  My experience is that we both found it all invaluable and the collective moments hold their own thru the demanding test of time~  
 
    Whether our personalities, sexuality, mutual caring or shared intimacy grows together or with others, it is ultimately founded in the style of Love and with certainty~ 

   We watch each other live life to the fullest, we do it together during our rendezvouses and relinquish it back to the world in the end~ I could say it’s amazing but, that would be a lie~ It’s more~ 

   What we share is a unique life experience… Not one is the same and it is neither possible nor fair to compare one to another~
  Our together experiences each bare our personalized “together” signature~ One is not better than the other, each Union is the creation of a brand new, fascinating work of art~
  Maybe with one person the piece is more Picasso… with someone else: more Dali~
 Another combination may finesse the rich Chiaroscuro reminiscent of Caravaggio or Rembrandt~ …  Yet another may resound like the muses of Earnie Covax or Monty Python… or as poetic and thought provoking as Shakespeare, Whitman or Basho~  
   
 The growth is constant and energizing~!
 There is no time to be bored.
 
 Learning how to navigate these relationships has not always been easy~   
  Sometimes it’s been plagued by confusion: lines can become blurred~ Questions arise: is this thing business, friendship, family or Love itself~
 Having lived with myself my entire life all the above have been part of my relationship with “me”~ So, perhaps it is not unreasonable to consider that the lines are more pale than we think and our relationships with others can likewise be a cornucopia of them all~  

 I started this profession in 1999… There were no books and no others before me where I could draw advice or references from other than the original Geisha chronicles exampled in various texts and history books~ Helpful as they may be, they are no substitution for real life now and the people I have met~ 

 As with even the most seasoned trailblazers my Clients and I have not always gotten things right but, we continue to share an evolving type of love and relationship. More importantly, we have come to understand the importance of that.
  
  So we move forward in our history with a very special togetherness. We support each other in our times of joy & giving… as well, our times of loss & need.
 We share together confidence and vulnerability.
 Ultimately, we have “Union”, a beautiful gift from life that takes the form of trust and love. 
 
 The pursuit of this profession and the relationships, learning and growth remain more than a blessing, they are the most passionate and compassionate design of life itself to be encountered together with another human being that I have found~

 While Sex can be powerful, empowering, epiphany-like, cleansing, revitalizing, healing, sacred, fun, funny, clever, simple, complex… (and more, the list is long), the 3 dimensionality of these cultured relationships, (and their love throughout the years), has me completely dedicated, (even when they have moved on from me or life), and with full respect~ 
 They have not so simply been a part of my life but, in some sense, life itself and that is something that can not be replaced~ 

 When we together become life itself: that’s a beautiful thing~ When what we share together hallmarks the greater and good potential of humanity, that is hope~ When our love bonds ripple thru our daily lives changing the world in their wake, that is profound~ 

 There are not enough words in any language that allow me to fully express my gratitude and appreciation for the depth, feeling and meaning these relationships have provided/proven to me~ 

 There is no “thank you” that is great enough to express what I feel~

   My “regulars” have been anything but… Quite the contrary, they have been exceptional~ 

  I say this with love and compete sincerity, 

  Tyger~  

What a lovely perspective! And though my own regulars aren’t able perhaps to articulate it so well, or in such detail, I sense that they share your outlook; and that this philosophy of “curating” and cultivating a provider/client relationship — as you would any friendship — is the basis of their popularity and longevity in the business. For my part, I love being part of my buddies’ trusted “extended family”. I get a kick out knowing that I’m part of a harem, and I will listen to as many (carefully edited) stories of other encounters as they care to tell me, and lasciviously share my own. But it’s more than war-stories. X proudly texts me about his daughter’s progress in school, I text him back about my troubled brother-in-law; I’m concerned about Y’s elderly dad, he advises me on my workout. And then we get together and fuck like animals, LOL. But with heightened passion and intensity, I’m convinced, as a result of reinforcing trust and concern and human affection through a bit of personal sharing — just the right amount — and non-sexual realness. 

Edited November 7, 2021 by myophile

[+ Tygerscent]

2 hours ago, myophile said:

What a lovely perspective! And though my own regulars aren’t able perhaps to articulate it so well, or in such detail, I sense that they share your outlook; and that this philosophy of “curating” and cultivating a provider/client relationship — as you would any friendship — is the basis of their popularity and longevity in the business. For my part, I love being part of my buddies’ trusted “extended family”. I get a kick out knowing that I’m part of a harem, and I will listen to as many (carefully edited) stories of other encounters as they care to tell me, and lasciviously share my own. But it’s more than war-stories. X proudly texts me about his daughter’s progress in school, I text him back about my troubled brother-in-law; I’m concerned about Y’s elderly dad, he advises me on my workout. And then we get together and fuck like animals, LOL. But with heightened passion and intensity, I’m convinced, as a result of reinforcing trust and concern and human affection through a bit of personal sharing — just the right amount — and non-sexual realness. 

Lovely~! 🥰 Loving all that followed by: “…and then we fuck like animals”. I’ve found it also enhances/inspires role play at times: Dad/son, coach/athlete, wounded warrior… 
 That aspect of “content and context thru time and experience” also plays deeply, (and well), into the bdsm arena when things go that way~ It guides not only what we are doing but “why”~ Added depth~

[+ purplekow]

For the most part, I prefer to meet with people I have seen before and with whom I know I will have a fun and inventive time.   As with any relationship, keeping the fires of lust and passion burning is not easy.  Enthusiasm is sometimes doused by factors having little to do with the relationship itself.  "Time and tides wait for no man."

I will occasionally try a new provider.  I have found that some leave me wanting more and some just leave me wanting.  The ones who leave me wanting more,. I make an effort to see as soon as reasonably and financially possible.   Most of the other men, I think of fondly, as each partner kindles some fresh memory but I will not usually give those men a second chance.  

Then there are the men who are fun, but I am not convinced I want to see again.  With those men, I will recall the encounter when home in bed alone and I will see if my hand finds its way to my cock and whether that cock and my erotic mind have decided to give them a second chance.   At times, I will realize that one aspect of the encounter sparks desire and draws me back to them.  Others easily slip out of my mind as it flips though my mental catalog of past experiences and I find myself moving on with a more reliable self induced orgasm inducer. 

Tyger, BTW you are definitely in my catalogue of fun, sexy,  toe curling, thigh tightening memories and if you are finding yourself in this corner of the world, please let me know so I can supplement in reality and in my memory your already extensive erotic file.  

Edited November 9, 2021 by purplekow

[+ bashful]

On 11/7/2021 at 10:50 AM, purplekow said:

With those men, I will recall the encounter when home in bed alone and I will see if my hand finds its way to my cock and whether that cock and my erotic mind have decided to give them a second chance.   At times, I will realize that one aspect of the encounter sparks desire and draws me back to them.

A good litmus test.

[+ Tygerscent]

On 11/7/2021 at 8:50 AM, purplekow said:

For the most part, I prefer to meet with people I have seen before and with whom I know I will have a fun and inventive time.   As with any relationship, keeping the fires of lust and passion burning is not easy.  Enthusiasm is sometimes doused by factors having little to do with the relationship itself.  "Time and tides wait for no man."

I will occasionally try a new provider.  I have found that some leave me wanting more and some just leave me wanting.  The ones who leave me wanting more,. I make an effort to see as soon as reasonably and financially possible.   Most of the other men, I think of fondly, as each partner kindles some fresh memory but I will not usually give those men a second chance.  

Then there are the men who are fun, but I am not convinced I want to see again.  With those men, I will recall the encounter when home in bed alone and I will see if my hand finds its way to my cock and whether that cock and my erotic mind have decided to give them a second chance.   At times, I will realize that one aspect of the encounter sparks desire and draws me back to them.  Others easily slip out of my mind as it flips though my mental catalog of past experiences and I find myself moving on with a more reliable self induced orgasm inducer. 

Tyger, BTW you are definitely in my catalogue of fun, sexy,  toe curling, thigh tightening memories and if you are finding yourself in this corner of the world, please let me know so I can supplement in reality and in my memory your already extensive erotic file.  

Thank you Mr. PK~ I’ve missed your laughter and beautiful/genuine heart~ Such a loving dad to such amazing fur babies~ I’ve always felt honored that you let me be part of the pack~ Awooooooo~!
 I’m gradually working my way back across the continental~ Perhaps it will inspire me to write a song… I feel a jingle coming on~ 😛🥰❤️

[+ purplekow]

18 hours ago, Tygerscent said:

Thank you Mr. PK~ I’ve missed your laughter and beautiful/genuine heart~ Such a loving dad to such amazing fur babies~ I’ve always felt honored that you let me be part of the pack~ Awooooooo~!
 I’m gradually working my way back across the continental~ Perhaps it will inspire me to write a song… I feel a jingle coming on~ 😛🥰❤️

I would bet there are no other posters here who have written then sung post coital jingles.  Accompanied of course by the North Korean Army Choir

[+ purplekow]

On 11/8/2021 at 10:01 PM, bashful said:

A good litmus test.

Of course when the head turns red they are great in bed but when the balls turn blue they are not for you.