Have you ever not been paid ? ( for your time)

[Alex93108]

I asked my regular this question recently and he told me it happened to him once - he walked out of an appointment voluntarily due to a situation where there was drug paraphernalia and expected slamming . He was expected to partake . He typically walks out of appointments where meth is invoked ( used  by the client ) because in his words they are always paranoid about something and it never goes well . 

But I am curious if the providers have not been paid and how did you deal with this ? 

Personally a visit to the atm is part of my ritual when hiring . I always pay at the end, and too decent to not pay someone fairly . 

[Jamie21]

It’s never happened. I take payment at the end, it feels better to me. Some clients pay before because I think they’re anxious and want to get that part out of the way but I never ask for any payment up front.

On this occasion the client (who had tried to negotiate a reduced price when booking- my answer was no, I never discount) when we’d finished and it came to payment time said he didn’t have the cash. At that time I didn’t accept credit cards so cash was the only way. I think he expected me to say “oh don’t worry it was such a fantastic time for me that session is free”. Well in fact it wasn’t fantastic, it was average, and it was work, so I said to him “no problem I’ll just get dressed and walk with you to the cash machine” which was 5 minutes walk away. As we walked I was worried he’d do a runner so I stayed close. At the machine he withdrew the cash and paid me. Funny thing is I’ve seen him a couple of times since. Each time since then he’s never tried to negotiate and always had payment ready. 

[Guest]

A few times they've come up short on what we discussed but never not compensated for my time.  One guy even offered me gift cards to the restaurant chain he worked for, lol.

[Jamie21]

50 minutes ago, Woofiecmh said:

A few times they've come up short on what we discussed but never not compensated for my time.  One guy even offered me gift cards to the restaurant chain he worked for, lol.

Hey I’d take payment by barter. I have in the past exchanged massage for photography work. I had some professional marketing pics done by a photographer and paid him by massage. A mutually beneficial exchange. 

[WolfCompanion]

That has never happened to me. I only take payments at the end of our time (unless I'm driving more than an hr and have never met the client before - which I ask for an advance). I think one of the reasons why I have had only good experiences is because I always try to chat and get to know clients before meeting. This way, we can get more comfortable with each other and I can also set expectations. I let them know my limits, so this way they also know what they can expect from me.

[Storm4U]

No

[MassageAdam]

I accidentally did that to a provider once. It was several years ago and I was visiting New York. He was a super sexy Reiki provider.  When we were done I was so completely relaxed that I left and forgot to pay  I walked a few blocks and I was like "Oh shit, I forgot to pay him".  So I called him up and said "I'm sorry, I forgot to pay you, can I run back to your place."  I did and apologized again.  He was so kind he told me, "I just thought you weren't going to pay me, but I was like whatever.  If he doesn't he doesn't."  He was so nice about the situation.  

[rn901]

Yes, starting out when I didn't have the street smarts I do now. I had a very slick faux client/scammer. He asked to meet at his place which was a very nice apartment building downtown. He flattered me, said all the right things. Showed me pictures of his other homes and talked about how he had longterm relations with escorts over many years where he would pay them thousands every month. We also discussed possible places that we could travel to and showed me pictures of himself with other escorts in nice places around the world. He proposed the same kind of arrangement to me and that he would pay several thousand a month if I meet with him whenever he is available. I said yes. He was very convincing. At the end of the first visit we talked about meeting again and set up a date. He didn't pay me and said that we would need to meet a few times to officiate this arrangement. I was very stupid for trusting him. He even had a driver take me home. I figured since he had money that I could trust him paying. We met a second time. Again, this guy was good. Said all the right things, flattered me, complimented me, we had drinks, enjoyed each other's company, hooked up and he had his driver take me home again. By the third time, I'm thinking okay when do I get my money. He wants to meet again. And this time I'm insistent I get paid over text prior to meeting. He avoids my questions, kept trying to tell me is very busy with work and kept putting off talking. Finally, I got very persistent and he gets angry at me because he is very busy with very important things and is at a very important work event. He then mentions he has very good security at his building. It was then I realized I wasn't getting paid and I got conned. I had a gut instinct I should've listened to in the beginning and I've learned to trust that gut instinct all the years after this situation and for over 9 years it has served me well. He ended up doing the same thing to several escorts in our city. We then set up a network where we would warn each other about clients like this one. There was one provider who took check after an appointment and of course the check bounces and he never gets paid. He then warns the group of us and I save the clients number saying DO NOT MEET. Others would get visa gift cards from other scam clients and then those gift cards would get canceled. All the time, we get faux inquirers asking for our banking info and of course no one in their right mind gives it to them. Now I only take hard cash or instant electronic payment. It's good for providers to have a few others in their area to keep in touch with and warn each other if there are particularly bad clients. I consider it a very nice gesture if a client leaves the money out on a dresser or somewhere where I can see it so I know the money is there at the end of the appointment. I never require money upfront unless I'm traveling outside my city to meet a client, but then I ask for only a modest partial payment up front. Usually I'm fine with getting paid at the end of the appointment, but yeah money on the dresser is always nice too. 

Edited October 13, 2021 by rn901

[rn901]

I ask for a very modest partial payment upfront when I meet clients outside of my city because I have also been ripped off in that regard. I had a client that flew me out across the country and then didn't show up to pick me up at the airport. Completely ghosted me. Fortunately, another regular I had was in the same city and I told him the situation. We met up for a couple hours and I still came out of the trip with a profit. Now I ask for a partial payment electronically if clients are wanting to have me travel outside my city to see them. I had another my first year who was a regular and who I trusted. He took me to Vegas and I figured I would get paid because hey he's taking me to Vegas. However, when the trip ended he said he'll have to pay me the next day and gets me a cab home after we land late at night. I still thought I was good to get the money because I got paid multiple times for multiple appointments before the trip and he trusted me enough to bring along to Vegas but the next day comes and he doesn't pay. He never paid. So yeah I require partial payment most of the time when I'm asked to travel outside my city. Some clients don't like it, but others have made me make this a requirement. Most of my rip offs were in my first two years, but after awhile I learned to analyze every subtlety and trust my instincts. Now I'm pretty good at avoiding these situations before they even happen. I was very naive and innocent when I started. Was not from a big city and was very trusting. Now I know what to look out for. No one gets street smart if they don't get ripped off at least once. People who are street smart will often tell you the only way they got street smart was because they got played many times and learned each time. Such has been my story as an escort in a major city for ten years. 

Edited October 13, 2021 by rn901

[kaboom35]

I accidentally once forgot to pay.   He was someone I saw the second time.   I paid him end of session first time.  But second time I needed to use his shower after and with that and chatting on my way out - completely forgot.   I remembered driving back home which was just under an hour away.  I texted him apologizing and was able to venmo.   I asked him why he didn’t run after me and ask and he said he didn’t want to make a scene and figured I stiffed him.  Makes me wonder how many escorts would chase someone down vs accepting they didn’t get paid.   

[rn901]

I've also had situations where both the client and myself both forget about payment until after they or I leave lol. Happens quite a bit with me actually as I'm pretty scattered minded. Such clients though always have come through, paid and apologized. After good sex or good long conversation, it seems pretty natural to forget the transactional aspect of the arrangement. 

[marylander1940]

Similar thread about a specific scammer who's back in the business. Interesting story specially after the OP elaborated by PM and confirm his identity.

I talked to a now retired escort the scammer took as a kept man to send all his files to "American Greed", he decided not to do it... 

it was nice to bring this back to life (but NOT bumping it) just to see a reply from @Guy Fawkes to me! 🤗🥰

Edited October 13, 2021 by marylander1940

[Alex93108]

Its funny - the escorts that are not that good almost never forget payment  but for the ones that are fantastic , payment is almost an after thought ( I have to remind them) 

 

I remember the last bad appointment  I had, the first words out his mouth after got dressed was, "Bank Transfer? "  - this was in Europe.   

By contrast A favorite of mine left, and forgot - he almost left the building I was in, I  had to flag him. 

Edited October 14, 2021 by jetlow

[Jamie21]

6 hours ago, jetlow said:

Its funny - the escorts that are not that good almost never forget payment  but for the ones that are fantastic , payment is almost an after thought ( I have to remind them) 

 

I remember the last bad appointment  I had, the first words out his mouth after got dressed was, "Bank Transfer? "  - this was in Europe.   

By contrast A favorite of mine left, and forgot - he almost left the building I was in, I  had to flag him. 

After a session recently with a regular client we were chatting for a while afterwards. I was dressed and almost out the door and he said “are you ok with a bank transfer?”. I’d genuinely forgotten because I was distracted by the chat etc. He has my bank details so I’ve no doubt he’d have sent the payment anyway even if we’d both forgotten. It’s nice when the relationship is so natural that payment is almost an afterthought. 
I know this topic is “ask an escort “ but I’m interested in the view of clients; how does making payment after a session influence how you feel about the session? Is there a way of the provider asking for payment that makes things easier? 

[+ Cash4Trash]

I've had it go the other way. An escort I saw frequently refused payment once because he felt he was unable on that day to offer his usual quality experience. I suggested that a bad day with him was better than a good day with anyone else but he still refused to take the money.

[Hlparx]

3 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

After a session recently with a regular client we were chatting for a while afterwards. I was dressed and almost out the door and he said “are you ok with a bank transfer?”. I’d genuinely forgotten because I was distracted by the chat etc. He has my bank details so I’ve no doubt he’d have sent the payment anyway even if we’d both forgotten. It’s nice when the relationship is so natural that payment is almost an afterthought. 
I know this topic is “ask an escort “ but I’m interested in the view of clients; how does making payment after a session influence how you feel about the session? Is there a way of the provider asking for payment that makes things easier? 

I try to make sure that they never have to ask, but I also usually most to keep to regulars.  Usually, I just leave payment in a visible place in an envelope and they take the envelope when they leave.

When I tried this with someone new a few weeks ago, he ignored the envelope—but never asked for his fee—and was putting on his jacket in my entryway to leave and I had to hand him his fee.

[Alex93108]

4 hours ago, Cash4Trash said:

I've had it go the other way. An escort I saw frequently refused payment once because he felt he was unable on that day to offer his usual quality experience. I suggested that a bad day with him was better than a good day with anyone else but he still refused to take the money.

That’s class - and a keeper . I would keep him on the payroll and tip generously 

[+ Cash4Trash]

26 minutes ago, jetlow said:

That’s class - and a keeper . I would keep him on the payroll and tip generously 

Sadly he's retired. As classy as they come. 

[Alex93108]

7 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

After a session recently with a regular client we were chatting for a while afterwards. I was dressed and almost out the door and he said “are you ok with a bank transfer?”. I’d genuinely forgotten because I was distracted by the chat etc. He has my bank details so I’ve no doubt he’d have sent the payment anyway even if we’d both forgotten. It’s nice when the relationship is so natural that payment is almost an afterthought. 
I know this topic is “ask an escort “ but I’m interested in the view of clients; how does making payment after a session influence how you feel about the session? Is there a way of the provider asking for payment that makes things easier? 

This would depend is this is a massage or escort appointment, and the country where legality issues arise.

For massages always after, often I've paid in a reception area, or the persons home / living area after I got dressed etc.

For escort appointments, I have noticed the best ones ( i hire worldwide ) almost never ask, I am usually the one that brings it up  Subtle hints like "well I had a nice time' coupled with getting dressed etc. is sufficient. If you had to be slightly more aggressive I would say, "I think our time is up dear, unless of course you want to play some more" - or something to that effect.  in the US, its always payment for time / donation - thus asking is a grey area, and for some people  may be slightly vulgar. In some ways , I would have liked to believe the encounter was real, instead of a paid for fantasy, so asking is perhaps too blunt and ruins the experience. Keep me believing it was real till the end.   Other faux pas would be counting cash in front of me ( I don't mind , but that universally rude I think) , and overly aggressive upsells after the appointment .

Also I have encounted a guy ( in Brazil)  who was very conflicted about the profession and had issues even touching the money ( he has since retired, but is only doing past clients ) and gone back full time to his main job , I had to convince him to take it. That said some of the lousy and might I add expensive London boys I have had were not shy about saying "bank transfer" immediately after i was done. i will not be inclined to hire them again.  ( the encounter was bad too)  then proceeded to try to upsell me on 3 ways with their friends.  Its always the bad ones that ask so directly in my experience. 

To quote someone here, the sex is easy, the social aspect ( and subtlety )  of this is what differentiates the good from the great. 

Edited October 14, 2021 by jetlow

[Jamie21]

21 minutes ago, jetlow said:

This would depend is this is a massage or escort appointment, and the country where legality issues arise.

For massages always after, often I've paid in a reception area, or the persons home / living area after I got dressed etc.

For escort appointments, I have noticed the best ones ( i hire worldwide ) almost never ask, I am usually the one that brings it up  Subtle hints like "well I had a nice time' coupled with getting dressed etc. is sufficient. If you had to be slightly more aggressive I would say, "I think our time is up dear, unless of course you want to play some more" - or something to that effect.  in the US, its always payment for time / donation - thus asking is a grey area, and for some people  may be slightly vulgar. In some ways , I would have liked to believe the encounter was real, instead of a paid for fantasy, so asking is perhaps too blunt and ruins the experience. Keep me believing it was real till the end.   Other faux pas would be counting cash in front of me ( I don't mind , but that universally rude I think) , and overly aggressive upsells after the appointment .

Also I have encounted a guy ( in Brazil)  who was very conflicted about the profession and had issues even touching the money ( he has since retired, but is only doing past clients ) and gone back full time to his main job , I had to convince him to take it. That said some of the lousy and might I add expensive London boys I have had were not shy about saying "bank transfer" immediately after i was done. i will not be inclined to hire them again.  ( the encounter was bad too)  then proceeded to try to upsell me on 3 ways with their friends.  Its always the bad ones that ask so directly in my experience. 

To quote someone here, the sex is easy, the social aspect ( and subtlety )  of this is what differentiates the good from the great. 

Ah yes I am meaning massage or escorting. For me the line is blurry. My massage can include sex. And I’m thinking in a UK context where it’s lawful to provide escort service. 

I totally agree, the social side: whether you make the client feel comfortable, safe and above all good about themselves is the most important part. If that is absent then nothing else is relevant. 

[+ RJD]

7 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

After a session recently with a regular client we were chatting for a while afterwards. I was dressed and almost out the door and he said “are you ok with a bank transfer?”. I’d genuinely forgotten because I was distracted by the chat etc. He has my bank details so I’ve no doubt he’d have sent the payment anyway even if we’d both forgotten. It’s nice when the relationship is so natural that payment is almost an afterthought. 
I know this topic is “ask an escort “ but I’m interested in the view of clients; how does making payment after a session influence how you feel about the session? Is there a way of the provider asking for payment that makes things easier? 

I stick to two regulars and they're extended sessions, either overnight or weekends.  I've had several sessions with each so neither is concerned about getting his fee.  I typically hand them an envelope as they depart.  It's always met with a smile, a sincere thank you, and a kiss.     

I spent an overnight with my local regular last weekend.  I forgot to hit the bank and the ATM limit is $500, so I asked if he'd be ok with Venmo, which he was.  On Sunday morning while at breakfast, I attempted to Venmo the cash and it was declined.  On our way back from breakfast I was going to stop at the ATM to pull $500 just to give him something.  He refused.  Long story short, he left without payment, assuring me to not worry about it because he knew I was good for it and get it to him whenever it was resolved.  Despite his assurances, I was totally embarrassed and felt horribly, especially since he paid for dinner the night before as a birthday gift to me.  Venmo acknowledged the "flag" was initiated by them, assured me it had nothing to do with me or my account, but refused to disclose why it was flagged.  After several conversations with them and getting nowhere, I just gave up and used Zelle after confirming he used it as well.  I communicated with him while attempting to resolve the issue with Venmo and each time he was completely understanding and kept telling me not to stress over it.  At the end of all this, after being paid, I sent him a text thanking him for his patience, understanding and expressing my gratitude.  He replied that it was his pleasure because I always treat him kindly and respectfully and he knew I wouldn't stiff him.  I'm sure part of this is because he's familiar with and knows me, but his reaction and how he handled it spoke volumes about his character and reaffirmed my decision to see him regularly.  I felt appreciated and valued as a client.    

[rn901]

7 hours ago, Cash4Trash said:

I've had it go the other way. An escort I saw frequently refused payment once because he felt he was unable on that day to offer his usual quality experience. I suggested that a bad day with him was better than a good day with anyone else but he still refused to take the money.

I've never refused payment completely but I have insisted discounted rates or some amount of money off if something doesn't go right and if the experience isn't optimal (if I'm way late, need to reschedule at the last minute, not at my best performance). It makes for smart business, reduces the risk of a bad review and helps develop regulars. I find it to be a similarly good gesture on the other end when a client pays a partial amount for canceling at the last minute, if they pay a tip or they compensate for something that goes wrong on their end. Good clients make good escorts and vice versa.  

[Islesguy]

I have only been asked to provide payment twice and one time I suspect the guy didn't want me carrying a lot of cash. Th first time the guy asked it to be placed in an envelope in the hotel "info book". He took the money as he left. The second was a multi day hire I just had. Originally, I was going to pay cash which I had told him but ended up using a bank app that offered a great exchange rate that saved me about $200 not having to buy currency at market. When we agreed to a cash payment, he made no mention of a deposit and I planned on giving him the payment at the end as I did the first time. Once we switched the transfer, he asked for me to make the transfer the day before I left though it wouldn't get to him until a couple days after I arrived. TBH, I wasn't that thrilled about it but not having to carry a lot of cash and the small savings was worth putting my trust in him. As for the app, I'm going to get a debit card from that company for future foreign travels so I can load US$ to convert and spend instead of bringing cash especially since cash seems to be on the way out as payment in business.

Every other time, including the first time I met the person in the second scenario, I have given money in an envelope without prompting while I was getting dressed at the end. That is my preferred method. I'm an highly ethical person, and I get insulted when someone makes demands on me regarding paying for things. I know it is impossible for people who have never met me to know this and that there are bad actors in both sides of this business. It's just how I roll. 

[Alex93108]

9 hours ago, Islesguy said:

I have given money in an envelope without prompting while I was getting dressed at the end. That is my preferred method. I'm an highly ethical person, and I get insulted when someone makes demands on me regarding paying for things. I know it is impossible for people who have never met me to know this and that there are bad actors in both sides of this business. It's just how I roll. 

Cash in a discreet envelope is my preferred method.  And I think I can speak of most of the people on this forum, I think both the clients and providers that participate are well standing people, the ones I have corresponded with and in some cases personally hired. 

 

[GTMike]

On 10/14/2021 at 2:09 AM, Jamie21 said:

After a session recently with a regular client we were chatting for a while afterwards. I was dressed and almost out the door and he said “are you ok with a bank transfer?”. I’d genuinely forgotten because I was distracted by the chat etc. He has my bank details so I’ve no doubt he’d have sent the payment anyway even if we’d both forgotten. It’s nice when the relationship is so natural that payment is almost an afterthought. 
I know this topic is “ask an escort “ but I’m interested in the view of clients; how does making payment after a session influence how you feel about the session? Is there a way of the provider asking for payment that makes things easier? 

As a client for me it depends on whether it is a 1st meeting or someone who i have history with. In all my meetings there is always a good amount of "hang out time" in the beginning regardless but if it's a first time meet (and the initial plan is a multi-hour or overnight scenario), I always will offer up at least partial payment so the escort knows I'm not a scammer/fake.