Escort as dinner companion

[sjmuktop]

Lately, I've been thinking about hiring a guy to be my dinner companion, with no sex involved either before or after the dinner date. I guess I just fancy doing something different. I enjoy hiring guys for sex and I love the physical and emotional intimacy and affection that sometimes goes with that, but I just fancy a change. 

I'm currently thinking about what restaurant I'd like to go to, how long I'd like to spend with the guy, and which guy I'd like to choose.

There is a guy I'm looking at on RentMen who I really like the look of, I've been keen on him for a long while now. He's a very beautiful young lad from Brazil and seems a very nice guy judging by how he comes across in his WhatsApp messages to me. But if his messages are anything to go by, he doesn't speak English well. Perhaps I should call him to speak with him on the phone first before making a decision on whether to ask him if he'd come to dinner with me?

I was wondering whether anyone could advise me on whether guys normally expect payment up front for this, or whether they will accept payment at the end of the date? I don't like the idea of paying up front, because I have visions of the guy excusing himself from the table to go to the toilet and then not coming back. I also worry about the guy being distracted by his phone a lot during the date and not paying much attention to me. I worry that making conversation may be tricky (maybe we have nothing in common, no similar interests to discuss, him not speaking good English etc.) and this will lead to a really awkward atmosphere. I worry that he might get up and leave early, that he might not enjoy the food or something.... so many concerns going around in my mind. 

So I'm looking for some advice from my fellow clients who have previously hired an escort to be their dinner companion. Any input would be very much appreciated. Advice on things to avoid and on etiquette would be particularly welcome.

Cheers. 

 

[+ nycman]

I tend to hire for sex, and if we seem to really hit it off, then I invite the young man to dinner.
I’d much rather suffer through 1 hour of bad sex than 1 hour of a bad dinner date. 
There’s no way I’d start with dinner. And if you’re even the least bit concerned that
communication will be a problem, trust me, it will be. And it will be a very long painful hour. 

[jeezifonly]

@nycmanI am with you.

A  high-pressure, language-challenging expensive dinner date for the first meeting?

I am not a judgmental person. But that is some freaky-ass shit. 

😂

 

[sjmuktop]

8 hours ago, nycman said:

I tend to hire for sex, and if we seem to really hit it off, then I invite the young man to dinner.
I’d much rather suffer through 1 hour of bad sex than 1 hour of a bad dinner date. 
There’s no way I’d start with dinner. And if you’re even the least bit concerned that
communication will be a problem, trust me, it will be. And it will be a very long painful hour. 

Yes, indeed. I mean I don't know for sure about his English, I will give the guy a call to talk to him first. But if his English does turn out to be as bad as I think it may be (based on his texts), then I suppose I could always book one of my regulars for this? Or perhaps, I should just book one of my regulars for this instead anyway. 

 

Edited September 27, 2021 by sjmuktop

[Epigonos]

I have always hired for both.  I hire for three hours.  I invite the escort to my home where I prepare dinner.  We spend the first hour over dinner talking and getting acquainted and the remaining two hours in the sack.  In the day when I went to the escort we would go out to dinner first, at a restaurant of his choosing near his home.  I've never had an escort bail out on me when eating in a restaurant.  I usually pay upfront but that is a bit awkward in a restaurant.  During dinner conversation is very important to me thus I would probably NOT hire a guy lacking excellent English skills. 

Have fun and good luck!

[John]

There are a lot of sexy guys in the world that I would love to have in my bed, but would never want to be seen in public with.  This has nothing to do with "discretion," but rather whether or not the guy is presentable in terms of dress, manners, and education. Maybe invite him to your house for coffee and cake on Sunday afternoon first.

[sjmuktop]

@Epigonosand @John - thank you so much for giving this post the friendly, mature and respectful responses it asked for.

@Epigonoswhere did you normally pay him if not in the restaurant? Outside just before going in? I had assumed that most guys would want payment in advance for this kind of thing, unlike meeting solely for sex. Two hours in a nice restaurant of the escort's choosing probably sounds like the way to go for me (as long as I also like the restaurant/food on offer). I definitely won't hire the guy if his English isn't great - like I say, I'll call him and find out. Thanks for wishing me luck.

@John - An initial coffee meet first sounds like a wise suggestion, or perhaps meeting for sex first and then moving onto a dinner date? Since I'm new to the whole dinner companion thing, I don't know the best way to proceed - but I like what @Epigonossaid. 

 

 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Sex is the simple part. 

Being a great social companion is where actual talent and intellect come into play.  

Make smart decisions about your company. 

 

[+ Pensant]

I only share meals with providers with whom I’m spending the night or several days. That said, all of my companions have been convivial dinner and breakfast partners, without exception. I think you really need to establish a connection with the guy to have a pleasant meal out.

[+ Charlie]

When I was a graduate student, a friend of mine told me that a middle-aged doctor he knew was looking for an intelligent boytoy, and he had recommended me as a possibility. I was intrigued (at the time I was living on an $1800/yr stipend), so when the doctor called and invited me to join him for dinner at a restaurant that was much grander than any I had ever been to, I agreed to the date. I wore my one good suit, and met him at the restaurant. He turned out to be pretty good-looking--luckily, I was always attracted to older men--and we had an excellent meal with sparkling conversation. Then we went back to his condo. That was the point at which it began to feel awkward, because I understood how to behave as a social dinner guest, but I wasn't sure about how to be a kept boy. Was I going to be paid? Was there going to be sex? Was I supposed to initiate it? Was I required to do whatever he wanted sexually? Nothing had been discussed when making the date or while eating dinner. I became passive and waited nervously for the next move, and he made it. He was quite an aggressive sex partner, and I was OK with the result, but I wasn't really turned on. He asked me to spend the night, but I explained that I had an early class the next morning and couldn't stay. He didn't offer me any money.

The next day he contacted our mutual friend and told him that he thought I would do, and asked him what he should do next; the friend said he would talk to me. By then I had already decided that it wasn't the right situation for me, and to please tell the doctor that although I had enjoyed our evening together, I didn't want to pursue the kind of relationship that he seemed to want. I didn't say that part of the problem for me was that nothing was really laid out clearly and directly. It sounds like you want to hire a dinner companion who is accustomed to be paid for companionship that is primarily sexual, so I think you should be very clear when hiring that dinner truly is all you want (and stick to that!), and explain how and when you want to pay him for that before you start.

 

 

[MscleLovr]

13 hours ago, nycman said:

hire for sex, and if we seem to really hit it off, then I invite the young man to dinner.
I’d much rather suffer through 1 hour of bad sex than 1 hour of a bad dinner date…..And it will be a very long painful hour. 

3 minutes ago, Charlie said:

I think you should be very clear when hiring that dinner truly is all you want (and stick to that!), and explain how and when you want to pay him

 

I agree with what @nycman and @Charlie wrote.

I only invited men to dinner AFTER we’d played together (IME bottoms prefer to eat after being topped) so I can’t comment directly on your plan @sjmuktop except to say it’s much safer and better to pay at the conclusion of your dinner-date (and discreetly have the cash in an envelope). 
 

I did once invite a handsome young Italian escort/model to dinner. He and I had 5 dates and a lot of fun over many hours in bed before he stated he wanted to be my boyfriend. So the next time he came over, very smartly dressed, we played and then went to a very good restaurant. The food and wine were good…but he had zero conversation skills. I found it a tiring experience, and not in a good way. 

[pubic_assistance]

15 hours ago, sjmuktop said:

I've been thinking about hiring a guy to be my dinner companion, with no sex involved

Pretty much the original DEFINITION of "escort"....

so you'd think that the possibility of a dinner date wouldn't be something that needed to be pondered and discussed.

That said....we all know what the word primarily means now. I wonder how many of these young rent-boys will think you are a weirdo for asking them for a date only.

 

[Dallas Jayson]

17 hours ago, sjmuktop said:

Lately, I've been thinking about hiring a guy to be my dinner companion, with no sex involved either before or after the dinner date. I guess I just fancy doing something different. I enjoy hiring guys for sex and I love the physical and emotional intimacy and affection that sometimes goes with that, but I just fancy a change. 

I'm currently thinking about what restaurant I'd like to go to, how long I'd like to spend with the guy, and which guy I'd like to choose.

There is a guy I'm looking at on RentMen who I really like the look of, I've been keen on him for a long while now. He's a very beautiful young lad from Brazil and seems a very nice guy judging by how he comes across in his WhatsApp messages to me. But if his messages are anything to go by, he doesn't speak English well. Perhaps I should call him to speak with him on the phone first before making a decision on whether to ask him if he'd come to dinner with me?

I was wondering whether anyone could advise me on whether guys normally expect payment up front for this, or whether they will accept payment at the end of the date? I don't like the idea of paying up front, because I have visions of the guy excusing himself from the table to go to the toilet and then not coming back. I also worry about the guy being distracted by his phone a lot during the date and not paying much attention to me. I worry that making conversation may be tricky (maybe we have nothing in common, no similar interests to discuss, him not speaking good English etc.) and this will lead to a really awkward atmosphere. I worry that he might get up and leave early, that he might not enjoy the food or something.... so many concerns going around in my mind. 

So I'm looking for some advice from my fellow clients who have previously hired an escort to be their dinner companion. Any input would be very much appreciated. Advice on things to avoid and on etiquette would be particularly welcome.

Cheers. 

 

I really think you should invite someone you know, or  have recently met socially, to enjoy a dinner with you.

All of the scenarios you pose are possible and honestly probable.  I hire for sex - enjoying a young hard body and stamina. I go to dinner with friends and clients - never with an escort. In my experience, most escorts, while polite, are not very good at much past pleasantries. It's just a matter of age, experience, education, exposure, and opportunity.

If you're in Dallas, drop a note, I will be happy to enjoy dinner - with my cell in the car.

[Alex93108]

4 hours ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

Sex is the simple part. 

Being a great social companion is where actual talent and intellect come into play.  

Make smart decisions about your company. 

 

I agree sex is the simple part . Even the worst escorts got that down . The absolute worse ones can’t perform Being a good social companion is where the talent lies - in fact i would say the best escorts can combine the two in a one hour appointment and are the best actors

I agree most escorts are not very good past pleasantries - the ones that are true gold 

When i have hired its usually a dinner or drink after sex , or maybe one drink prior 

[mike carey]

1 minute ago, Dallas Jayson said:

All of the scenarios you pose are possible and honestly probable.  I hire for sex - enjoying a young hard body and stamina. I go to dinner with friends and clients - never with an escort. In my experience, most escorts, while polite, are not very good at much past pleasantries. It's just a matter of age, experience, education, exposure, and opportunity.

While all that is good advice, don't down-play the ability of an escort to be a companion in any social setting. Not all of them can do it, but many can and will. If you think it through, hiring a man to go to dinner or the opera with you is no different to hiring one to fuck you. There is a risk that they can't do what you want. You choose the man who can carry off that scene. It requires you to firmly accept the mind set that you are paying for their time, not for what they will do with (or to) you. Ask them. If you've met them before, build on that. Some escorts in this very forum talk about travel, film, theatre and music. And sex, saunas and bathhouses. I would be confident hiring such a man in any setting.

[Dallas Jayson]

2 minutes ago, mike carey said:

While all that is good advice, don't down-play the ability of an escort to be a companion in any social setting. Not all of them can do it, but many can and will. If you think it through, hiring a man to go to dinner or the opera with you is no different to hiring one to fuck you. There is a risk that they can't do what you want. You choose the man who can carry off that scene. It requires you to firmly accept the mind set that you are paying for their time, not for what they will do with (or to) you. Ask them. If you've met them before, build on that. Some escorts in this very forum talk about travel, film, theatre and music. And sex, saunas and bathhouses. I would be confident hiring such a man in any setting.

Mike, I did not say ALL, I said most. I am not diminishing anyone. 

I based my assessment ONLY on the information he was offering about his needs and fears.

[mike carey]

Just now, Dallas Jayson said:

Mike, I did not say ALL, I said most. I am not diminishing anyone. 

I based my assessment ONLY on the information he was offering about his needs and fears.

Sorry, Dallas, I wasn't dismissing your comments, they were good points. I was adding to them (I hope). I acknowledge one has to pick the right escort but they are out there.

[+ nycman]

8 hours ago, Charlie said:

Was I going to be paid?….. He didn't offer me any money.

Charlie…you ignorant SLUT!

I raised you better than that! Agree to terms up front you fucking whore! Then put out and get out.
Lord, you were playing "footies for free"?!?! WTF….I’m gonna slap you! Then you got had for the price
of a slice of cheesecake?!?!….you cheap little tramp!

(Don’t worry baby, we all know I’ve done much, much worse…..for much, much less….grin)

4 hours ago, mike carey said:

hiring a man to go to dinner or the opera with you is no different to hiring one to fuck you

Says you.

You pay for the champagne and caviar?….the fucking is free.

You make me sit through even 10 minutes of Das Rheingold?….it’s $10,000….up front….no fucking. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

5 hours ago, Dallas Jayson said:

In my experience, most escorts, while polite, are not very good at much past pleasantries.

That's why the ones that are and fully understand social- not just sexual- lubrication, can be very, very successful.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

38 minutes ago, nycman said:

You pay for the champagne and caviar?….the fucking is free.

Well, that really depends on the champagne and caviar.

Don't expect me to bottom for Veuve motherfucker 

[Alex93108]

12 minutes ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

That's why the ones that are and fully understand social- not just sexual- lubrication, can be very, very successful.

That was one the key points i mentioned to this boy in London last week in my feedback to him .  The best escorts are great actors . I have a few other providers that are so good at this ( thankfully they don’t live in the US)  I have to pinch myself and remind myself that it’s not real - I am paying them to be my lover ( by the hour ) 

The boy i think has a drug problem also - which is probably the downfall of a lot of providers in places like London and Berlin but that’s another topic 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Just now, jetlow said:

 The best escorts are great actors 

Wrong (in my opinion).

The best escorts ENJOY and LEARN from the experience.

Acting is a small part.  You will burn out and ruin yourself if you're acting the entire time.

It's the genuine guys who find real success.

[Epigonos]

Benjamin you always seem to say exactly the right thing in my not so humble opinion.  I simply MUST get to San Antonio in the not too distant future especially now that I've had my booster shot.  Sincerely looking forward to a great dinner experience with you and whatever comes next.  You are now and have always been the gage by which I judge all escorts.

Edited September 28, 2021 by Epigonos

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

15 minutes ago, Epigonos said:

Benjamin you always seem to say exactly the right thing in my not so humble way opinion.  I simply MUST get to San Antonio in the not too distant future especially now that I've have my booster shot.  Sincerely looking forward to a great dinner experience with you and whatever come next.  You are now and have always been the gage by which I judge all escorts.

Ready when you are, chief.

I dare you to try to get the bill.

 

[rn901]

11 hours ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

Sex is the simple part. 

Being a great social companion is where actual talent and intellect come into play.  

Make smart decisions about your company. 

 

The art of conversation is what has has really provided for me the 9 years I've escorted. Without it, I would've made significantly less and lasted significantly shorter. I once thought that much of the information I retained in the humanities was useless, then I figured out I could put it to use with this job among educated men who enjoy interesting discussion. Intellect and conversation can really pick out the naturals in this line of work. Unfortunately, there are duds who can't do it if their life depended on it. I'm sure they're fine at sex though. Some clients prefer just that in an escort. They want sex, nothing else. But I have to say conversation is what has paid me with travel around the world and a nice accumulation of overnights among a great set of regulars. Getting paid to have engaging conversations with intelligent clients is something I love and I do wish it was a socially respected career choice. Alas though, we're not there yet.    

Edited September 28, 2021 by rn901