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Laconic responses


bostonman
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One thing I always value in an escort profile is a decently written description that gives me a possible insight into the guy's personality as well as his attributes. And if a guy takes the time to sound human and friendly in his ad, I'm always hopeful that our initial online banter will feel the same - and often it does. 

So - I saw an ad on RM that I liked - nice ad text, as well as interests that drew me in and pics that I liked. I also was able to find out his true identity, and he seems like a really interesting guy. 

I sent him a message on RM, with a friendly introduction in turn, and asking about his rates. When he replied back, it was nothing but a 3-digit number representing his fee. No "hi there" or anything else in response. Just the number. 

I wrote back again, mentioning something else in his ad that gave us a real-life interest in common, and also described a scenario I was interested in exploring with him. His response this morning - "Ok. Sounds do able." [sic]. That's it. 

He sounds like a bot. I'm not necessarily asking for a love letter in his reply, but something even slightly friendlier would have been nice. To quote Cy Coleman, "I can't make love to a shadow," and I feel like I don't want to wait to meet him for his humanity to appear. The monosyllabic thing just turns me off. So I don't think I'm going to pursue meeting him after all, if he can't even take a second to say a friendly hello. I wouldn't want to hire him only to find out that he's a washout in person too.

Has anyone else had similar experiences - where you would have expected a guy to be a bit more gregarious based on his ad text, and yet he just can't communicate at all? 

Edited by bostonman
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1 hour ago, bostonman said:

One thing I always value in an escort profile is a decently written description that gives me a possible insight into the guy's personality as well as his attributes. And if a guy takes the time to sound human and friendly in his ad, I'm always hopeful that our initial online banter will feel the same - and often it does. 

So - I saw an ad on RM that I liked - nice ad text, as well as interests that drew me in and pics that I liked. I also was able to find out his true identity, and he seems like a really interesting guy. 

I sent him a message on RM, with a friendly introduction in turn, and asking about his rates. When he replied back, it was nothing but a 3-digit number representing his fee. No "hi there" or anything else in response. Just the number. 

I wrote back again, mentioning something else in his ad that gave us a real-life interest in common, and also described a scenario I was interested in exploring with him. His response this morning - "Ok. Sounds do able." [sic]. That's it. 

He sounds like a bot. I'm not necessarily asking for a love letter in his reply, but something even slightly friendlier would have been nice. To quote Cy Coleman, "I can't make love to a shadow," and I feel like I don't want to wait to meet him for his humanity to appear. The monosyllabic thing just turns me off. So I don't think I'm going to pursue meeting him after all, if he can't even take a second to say a friendly hello. I wouldn't want to hire him only to find out that he's a washout in person too.

Has anyone else had similar experiences - where you would have expected a guy to be a bit more gregarious based on his ad text, and yet he just can't communicate at all? 

It's possible he wasn't the one who wrote his ad text - something to keep in mind if your communication with him seems different from what he represents in his ad.  Or, he could be too busy for anything lengthier?

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Absolutely....

I am kind of a rambler by nature (inherited from my late mother) so my Rentmen about me client profile is quite long and precise in what I am looking for 

I always ask potential providers to read it and respond if they are interested in my scenario 

I get quite a few

cool/kool

Okay/ok/K

Sure

Yep

So when I get someone who responded with a actual sentence we usually hit it off and have a great experience 

Edited by alexslaveboy
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1 hour ago, CuriousByNature said:

It's possible he wasn't the one who wrote his ad text - something to keep in mind if your communication with him seems different from what he represents in his ad.  Or, he could be too busy for anything lengthier?

+1

 

And I would add, talk to him by voice before you hire. Text messages are devoid of 'tone'.

Edited by glutes
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1 hour ago, Kevin Slater said:

If I were to spend 20 hours waxing poetic on text threads with prospective clients, I might gain one booking.  Simply not worth my time.  Those who are actually ready to book seem to appreciate directness, and we can be wonderfully engaged during the actual session.

Kevin Slater

Exactly... can you imagine the patience and time that could take engaging in an extensive exchange of texts to meet?

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Kevin Slater said:

If I were to spend 20 hours waxing poetic on text threads with prospective clients, I might gain one booking.  Simply not worth my time.  Those who are actually ready to book seem to appreciate directness, and we can be wonderfully engaged during the actual session.

Kevin Slater

Being direct is one thing, seeming curt is another. 

The difference between a direct but personable "Hey, thanks for the message - my rate is $200, and I'd be glad to meet you when I get to Boston" and a merely curt "200" is a big one. I treat my clients in my line of work with at very least that much respect, and I don't have all day to type either. Somehow, Kevin, I very much doubt that you simply bark a figure at a prospective client without saying anything else. 

Edited by bostonman
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On 6/13/2021 at 10:08 PM, Kevin Slater said:

If I were to spend 20 hours waxing poetic on text threads with prospective clients, I might gain one booking.  Simply not worth my time.  Those who are actually ready to book seem to appreciate directness, and we can be wonderfully engaged during the actual session.

Kevin Slater

@bostonman I've read in other threads that providers are particularly averse to long detailed chats and descriptions of scenarios because those are typical of time wasters. You are not one but the similarity in your way of communication is probably making them wary of you, hence giving these laconic responses.

I always assume that on any given day they are talking to several people not just me. So I send direct, brief, concise messages to get faster, specific responses. I also don't mind receiving an answer with 3 digits because that gives me an indication if the meeting will happen or not, before discussing hypothetical scenarios.

I see that providers' attitudes change after meeting because you're no longer a prospect. If you want to book again they will be more engaged in conversation and discussion of scenarios because they know you are real and of course they want to make another sale.

Edited by lonely_john
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Totally agree with @lonely_john. When I hired, I too ensured that my messages were polite, brief and to the point.
 

I heard several times from escorts that they found the contact with me refreshing. As they put it, I was obviously looking to meet and I didn’t waste their time. Some escorts told me of how often they were deluged with messages seeking pics or wanting to chat - all this they characterized as time-wasting.

I’m not suggesting @bostonman that you are not serious about hiring. But you might be more flexible and ask if he has time for a brief phone call so you can check that both of you are happy to meet. Keep the call to say 10 minutes and you would seem both polite and serious. 

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8 hours ago, lonely_john said:

@bostonman I've read in other threads that providers are particularly averse to long detailed chats and descriptions of scenarios because those are typical of time wasters. You are not one but the similarity in your way of communication is probably making them wary of you, hence giving these laconic responses.

I always assume that on any given day they are talking to several people not just me. So I send direct, brief, concise messages to get faster, specific responses. I also don't mind receiving an answer with 3 digits because that gives me an indication if the meeting will happen or not, before discussing hypothetical scenarios.

I see that providers' attitudes change after meeting because you're no longer a prospect. If you want to book again they will be more engaged in conversation and discussion of scenarios because they know you are real and of course they want to make another sale.

Usually an initial message from me might go something like this. "Hi - my name's XXX, I'm XX years old, and I really like your ad. I'm wondering what your rates may be, and hope to set up some time to meet you. I see that you're into XXX, which is great, because I'm really into that. Hope to talk to you."

If a message like that is a turn-off (and it seems that most of the time it is just fine), I'd rather just stop hiring. :classic_sad:

 

Edited by bostonman
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47 minutes ago, bostonman said:

"Hi - my name's XXX, I'm XX years old, and I really like your ad. I'm wondering what your rates may be, and hope to set up some time to meet you. I see that you're into XXX, which is great, because I'm really into that. Hope to talk to you."

The message above is just perfect. Below is the tricky part that might be sending providers away.

On 6/13/2021 at 6:11 PM, bostonman said:

and also described a scenario I was interested in exploring with him. His response this morning - "Ok. Sounds do able." [sic]. That's it.

 

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Just now, lonely_john said:

The message above is just perfect. Below is the tricky part that might be sending providers away.

 

The scenario description was my 2nd message, deliberately written to hope to create more conversation, as I didn't get anything but a number in the first response. It doesn't seem as if it sent him away (as he told me that the scenario would be "do able" [sic]), but clearly it didn't get much more of a response than my first message. 

Honestly, I feel like I'm being picked apart here much more than any one needs to. It seems the guy just doesn't like to converse through text. So be it. it's just disappointing, that's all. 

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14 minutes ago, bostonman said:

It doesn't seem as if it sent him away (as he told me that the scenario would be "do able" [sic])

I meant figuratively because the "Ok. Sounds do able." wasn't followed by anything else.

14 minutes ago, bostonman said:

the guy just doesn't like to converse through text.

Most providers don't if they don't know you. Don't worry, you'll find someone else. 👍

Edited by lonely_john
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3 hours ago, DynamicUno said:

I'm all for 'direct' communication, but if I reached out to a provider and I just got a 3 digit answer I'd move on.  A guy can always say something like, "I not free to chat now, but my rates are ____.  I can set something up as soon as your ready, let me know if you need anything else."  

Absolutely agree 

I am not expecting a paragraph as a reply but I do expect something more than 1 or 2 words or just a fee 

I usually meet up with the providers that respond with with a respectful and nice reply to my message 

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I suppose it all depends on the encounter as well. If it's an escort who's just expecting anonymous fucking, so to speak, I suppose the less said the better (and his ad text would probably reflect that). But for an escort who takes the time in his ad to describe himself in detail (including real-life personal interests, etc), I would tend to think a friendly message would not only be welcome, but hoped for. So I guess I overestimated him? Meh...

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Guest leftbench23

I'd be happy if guys would reply back "not interested" or "no thank you" instead of not replying at all. I'm getting a lot of those these days. 

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6 hours ago, Cruiser7 said:

FWIW, @bostonman  I’m with you 100%. I despise short and curt responses and it really makes me double think about hiring the guy. 
 

As others noted, I’m not looking for a long winded text conversation, but more than one or two words in response is necessary. 

A few years ago there was an escort in LA who had a page full of great reviews and was gushed about exuberantly on these boards, particularly noting how friendly and personable he was. (That's an important attribute for me.)  He was on my wish list forever - I held him there for something to look forward to.  Then came a day he announced he would be retiring on some particular date a few months down the line. I figured it's now or never and I finally contacted him via text.  My texts were brief, on-point, accommodating and friendly.  His responses were one word grunts: "sure" and "OK".  I passed.

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