Potential encounter?

[MscleLovr]

I’m very glad you’re enjoying the “continuing saga” @KrisParr. It does seem that you are truly in lust. 
 

And I note that you’ve had plenty of good advice here, with several of us urging caution. He is definitely on the wild side; let’s hope he isn’t discovered by law enforcement. 

[LookingAround]

I don’t think he’s at risk of the police arresting him. I think he’s at risk of hurting k’s psyche at some point. He’s got a serious personality disorder. And all three people with whom he has had failed relationships being their fault — yeh sure. They had —what was it the psychological depth of a filing cabinet?  Isn’t that the definition of a projection?  Storm clouds on the horizon…

[mike carey]

8 hours ago, KrisParr said:

K-Look, I’ve been in three relationships and each one fell apart, and I can honestly say it wasn’t even close to my fault. I just picked three really hot guys who all had the personality and depth of a file cabinet. I don’t want to ever go down that road again.

 

16 minutes ago, LookingAround said:

And all three people with whom he has had failed relationships being their fault — yeh sure. They had —what was it the psychological depth of a filing cabinet? 

The comment about three relationships, I believe, was Kris talking about himself, not HD.

[LookingAround]

My mistake then.  So subtract that one but the point of HD’s serious personality disorder stands. A budding relationship built upon manipulation and lies? Proceed at your own risk. It’s an entertaining story I’ll admit but I wouldn’t want to be in the passengers seat. 

[+ sniper]

I mean why isn't the fuck buddy option on the table? Geez you and this guy are lesbian-level with the drama. 

Keep it simple and keep your eyes open. 

[KrisParr]

Loving the comments - thanks. Some quick responses

Have spent many hours on the therapy couch; the 3 relationships were short, and I take equal responsibility; two of them were BPD, and I knew better, but that’s another story.

Lesbian-level drama? LOL - wasn’t that way until a week ago. Yeah, completely agree - not normally my thing.

Fuck-buddy arrangement? Yep, that’s probably what’s going to happen. I’ve had some in the past, and I’m okay with it. It’s when the heart gets involved - again, falling in love with your FB is a problem. Like 3 times, get it? I’m a slow learner. Big difference - right now I’m in lust.

Got a good morning text. Meeting at gym at noon. Day at a time.
 

[+ WilliamM]

1 hour ago, KrisParr said:

Loving the comments - thanks. Some quick responses

Have spent many hours on the therapy couch; the 3 relationships were short, and I take equal responsibility; two of them were BPD, and I knew better, but that’s another story.

Lesbian-level drama? LOL - wasn’t that way until a week ago. Yeah, completely agree - not normally my thing.

Fuck-buddy arrangement? Yep, that’s probably what’s going to happen. I’ve had some in the past, and I’m okay with it. It’s when the heart gets involved - again, falling in love with your FB is a problem. Like 3 times, get it? I’m a slow learner. Big difference - right now I’m in lust.

Got a good morning text. Meeting at gym at noon. Day at a time.
 

Skip meeting him so often at the gym and at bars or restaurants.

[Deadlift1]

He's 32 at his peak. He was genetically blessed.  He probably has always been beautiful and charismatic.  The problem is he never had to develop a deep personality to attract potential mates.  I say most men tire of him because they scratch beneath the surface and find more of the same.  I don't think he is a bad person.  I think he is what he sells.  A hot shiny new Ferrari that is great for a drive to the beach or a night on the town but something u wouldn't want to drive on a long haul cross country.  That being said he may be looking to develop more with a mature gentleman.....i agree with some of the others.  I wouldn't stop seeing him but i would not be as available.  

Edited June 10, 2021 by Deadlift1
I had wrong information

[john1973]

Is it an FB that he wants or just getting you hooked on the merchandise before naming his price or asking you to name the price for him (through a "per experience" donation or guilt-induced bulk donations and gifts)?

I hope it's the former because it would be unfair to have you running a tab without knowing what he expects for his services. 

For sure he's been aiming for your heart and loins and scoring big time.

Since you're getting into this with open eyes, enjoy the thrill and the possibly freebie f--ks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[mkm556]

26 minutes ago, Deadlift1 said:

He's 32 at his peak. His last 3 relationships ended through no fault of his own.  

The 3 relationships were Kris' not HD's

[+ azdr0710]

What's It Going To Take To Get You Into This Car Today???!!!

[CuriousByNature]

On 6/2/2021 at 6:34 PM, KrisParr said:

The response from our community to this thread has been overwhelming and very much appreciated. I am taking some wise counsel and doing a wee bit of background checking before I go too far. He appears to be legit in everything he’s told me, I.e. his alma mater, fraternity, and even some reviews from satisfied auto purchasers. I still have some connections in the judicial system, but I don’t want to cross any ethical bounds. For right now, it’s slow and steady. Our encounters to date have always been “in” the gym with small talk, which all totaled might be shy of just a few hours. He’s so fucking easy to talk to - what my dad calls a Renaissance man - he knows music (even opera, go figure), sports, computers, cars, history, and claims he can recite the entire script of the Blues Brothers flick. And those grey-green eyes ... sigh.  Stay tuned. Hell, he’s probably an alien.

If he is an alien, just be mindful of the probe.  Well, be midful of that whether he is an alien or not.

[Guest davebk]

Doesn't always have to be chess, it can just be checkers.  King each other and enjoy the friendship and the sex.

[+ nycman]

Less thinking…..more fucking.

[CuriousByNature]

This is quite a thread  I'm wary to add to the comments/advice in a substantive way, given my complete lack of experience in the ways of love/lust... lol.   But for what it's worth:

I highly doubt he is a provider.  I just have a feeling that is part of the fantasy he creates for himself and part of an elaborate role play.  It also provides him with an easy way out of relationships that aren't going where he would like them to go.

You seem like a great guy, and have physical attractiveness to boot.  There is no reason why a 32-year old would not pursue you, and I think his interest may be genuine.  The sexual tension that developed over time took an investment from both of you, and if he was really into a business arrangement I doubt he would have waffled over the financial aspect of it.  I think that was a ruse to make the whole situation seem more exciting/dangerous, and added to the fantasy he was creating for himself.

He may seem to be the most confident and charismatic guy around, but in reality he may not see himself that way.  He may consider this whole game to be his only sure way of building a deeper connection with someone he is really interested in.  

But as we all know, I am no authority on any of this, but I am trying to put myself in HD's shoes and looking at it from that perspective.  You're a mature, fit, intelligent, financially secure, and interesting man.  I am a 32 year old gym rat that exudes sexiness, and have been a succesful salesman of high-end vehicles which may require me to build the fantasy to accomplish my goals.  I extend that to my personal life because I am not confident I can achieve success there unless I incorporate similar measures.  Resolving our sexual tension has thrown me, and I hadn't anticipated what comes next.  So I waffle and fumble some more and that comes across as a mindfu*k.  In some ways you intimidate me, but I can't let you see that.

Is this helpful at all?  It's just something to consider.  But please be careful in any case.

[kingsley88]

14 hours ago, KrisParr said:

had just fucked a guy who I’d wanted to bag for a long time.

That's awesome H said that to you!

 

Also, did you tell him at one point that you hire escorts in the past?

[Luv2play]

37 minutes ago, kingsley88 said:

That's awesome H said that to you!

 

Also, did you tell him at one point that you hire escorts in the past?

That could be tricky. When I was Kris's age I was hiring escorts and having free hookups. No relationships developed until a few years later. I kept both activities separate and didn't inform either parties of the other activity. Not sure what Kris disclosing this would lead to.

[kingsley88]

15 hours ago, KrisParr said:

K-Are you dating anyone?

H-Are you still hiring escorts?

K-No, at least not now.

H-Same answer.

Main reason I asked my earlier question was because KrisParr mentioned the above (He is K). Not sure if he was kidding here or if he actually told H about hiring escorts. 

[+ Charlie]

Can I ask just one question about your long conversation? Did he say he wanted to "bag" you or "bang" you for a long time? I would have reacted very differently to the implications of the terms.

[KrisParr]

Gentlemen, your responses are amazing, diverse as hell, and very much appreciated - you have no idea. I am in awe of your perception and kindness. I have had wonderful life experiences, but anyone can fuck up at any age. So, thank you for the advice. 

Allow me to reply on a few things:

Overthinking it. Can’t stop; I am an analyst. I was taking lawn mowers apart when I was 8 and successfully putting them back together. I debugged software in college for fun and profit. Brain rarely shuts off. But, point well-taken.

His side business is real. I saw way too many text messages. And it didn’t dawn on me before, but he is constantly on his phone. I always assumed it was car clients, until I discovered he has two phones. And I really don’t care. 

The gif of the car salesman had me rolling on the floor. Perfect.

Yes, HD knows I hired escorts. And I fucked up on that one, big time. Somewhere along the line, pre-pandemic, we both made some comment about a hot guy at the gym. It was obvious we had a “thing” for the eye candy. I can’t remember the conversation, but I probably said something like wondering what his “price” would be. Totally inappropriate, but I said it. And as I recall, we talked a little about the RM site, and hiring massage. It was just random banter, but I didn’t hide anything. He never asked for details and I didn’t offer. And if I ever shared just how many, it would probably scare both of us. Suffice to say, at least every 4-5 weeks for a long time. 

Bag me or bang me? Shit, I don’t remember- yeah, it does indeed have different connotations. 

 

We worked out today, and kept the chatter light and breezy. He said he had a couple of car/sales appointments lined up today and tomorrow. And I’ve got a shitload of work to catch up. But … we had a little serious talk in the parking lot. Something like this:

 

H-You okay?

K-Cool.

H-You still need time?

K-Yes.

 

And then (here it comes again) an arm punch. Toothy grin and a little shoulder pinch. 

 

That’s it. And gents, I think that’s it for a while. It’s time for some additional down time, cooling of the jets, and more reflection. As the Beastie Boys say, peace out.

[David1024]

If he’s being sincere, then you’re on to a really good thing. Sounds like he initially thought of you as a client, but since you’ve never had the escort/client relationship, have spent the night together and had some fun in the keep before the good night kiss, I’d say he thinks of you more as a date than a client. Sounds like he genuinely regretted sending you down the mind fuck path and he’s not looking for a committed relationship right now, so you could have found yourself a fuck buddy or a FWB. You could have a good time with him, but just remember that he may still provide escort services from time to time. Just don’t fall in love with him, at least right now. 

Can’t wait for the next episode. I get a homer reading these posts, and I bet I’m not the only one. 😉 

[+ WilliamM]

3 hours ago, David1024 said:

If he’s being sincere, then you’re on to a really good thing. Sounds like he initially thought of you as a client, but since you’ve never had the escort/client relationship, have spent the night together and had some fun in the keep before the good night kiss, I’d say he thinks of you more as a date than a client. Sounds like he genuinely regretted sending you down the mind fuck path and he’s not looking for a committed relationship right now, so you could have found yourself a fuck buddy or a FWB. You could have a good time with him, but just remember that he may still provide escort services from time to time. Just don’t fall in love with him, at least right now. 

Can’t wait for the next episode. I get a homer reading these posts, and I bet I’m not the only one. 😉 

How about just being friends?

[David1024]

With benefits or without?

[HotWhiteThirties]

I just keep reading this all and realizing I must be going to the entirely wrong kind of gyms!!!! 🤣🤣🤣 Cause this nor anything similar has never happened to me! 😂😂😂I do tend to be a bit oblivious on picking up on signals...and my gyms are pretty "by-the-book" sorts of places, though. 

I will live vicariously through this experience, I suppose. Look forward to another entry. 

Edited June 11, 2021 by HotWhiteThirties

[+ SundayZip]

@KrisParr, I reread your posts and now, today, have a slightly different perspective. ( my perspective du jour 🙂 )

You initially volunteered that you hire escorts and, given HD's hotness, the age difference and what was probably your less then subtle infatuation, he understandably saw it as hint that you're open to compensating him for something physical. He later tells you that he has sex with men for money and gets you all turned on while relating stories about his services. He seals a mutual understanding that you're hot for him and that he's available to you for money when he tells you to think it over (and the discount comment). So there it is. The offer is not in writing but it's pretty unambiguous. He knew it. You knew it.

Fast forward to the Braves-Dodgers game and hotel experience. In the world of professional escorts, the escort communicates his expectation regarding compensation up front. But he's not a professional per se and may not know the protocol -- or what you would be willing to pay -- so he fumbles. But you know how it works and when his inexperience caused him to fumble, you allowed it to become a freebie. 

So now what? He clearly likes you, is willing to put the f*ck-up behind you and wants to salvage the relationship (and his reputation). Have fun and go with it -- and maybe find the right time to tell him that you take partial ownership of the whole mindf-ck experience. Let him know that it's not all on him. 

Also, it seems like paying him for experiences that you've already had for free would be hard to swallow (ha ha, pun intended) so that's probably not an option any more. It's now a relationship that is potentially more emotionally risky and in which you have less power -- although potentially more rewarding. Keep your head on straight! I know that I'd be at risk of becoming too emotionally invested in your situation, but you may be more naturally grounded than me. 🙃