Never again... (when it comes to hosting clients)

[Jarrod_Uncut]

For a brief period of time, I had eased up on my requirement for deposits for incall sessions where the client comes to me. It had seemed like people were showing up a little bit more.

But after yesterday, I’ve decided to permanently require all clients asking to come to me, to make a deposit. I’m putting it across all of my ads and upfront. I will absolutely not be hosting anyone if they don’t make a deposit. You would think it’s more risky to go to a client’s place and be stood up, but more often than not: it’s the ones who claim to want to come to me, which end up not showing up.

Just yesterday I had 2 clients fail to show up for their appointment request. I didn’t get a deposit from either, because I was in a hurry and needed to book a room to host an “incall day” (I have a place already, but I don’t host appointments from right now). Unfortunately I had went ahead and booked the non refundable rate for the hotel. So far it’s been hell and high water to change the date or get a refund, and I literally had no use for the hotel otherwise.

To add insult to injury, one of the clients became very disrespectful, even calling me names and saying I was silly to get a hotel for him. And the same idiot booked an appointment previously where he hosted, and I didn’t go because he wouldn’t pay the deposit. This time, I try to trust him to show up without paying the deposit, and he STILL doesn’t show up.

So for the remainder of my escort career: I won’t be accepting anymore excuses or reasons why a client can’t pay a deposit to come to me. It’s just too many times where people want me to host, and they don’t show up. And I either end up out of money, or out of time setting aside time for them and they don’t show up. 
 

If they can’t make the deposit, they either need to host or I won’t see them. No exceptions. 

[BuffaloKyle]

If they need you to host they should be getting the room. I could never imagine asking a provider to get a room for an incall. 

[Guest Justin7402]

6 minutes ago, BuffaloKyle said:

If they need you to host they should be getting the room. I could never imagine asking a provider to get a room for an incall. 

I don't think I've ever gotten a room when traveling to a client, usually they're either in the city already and have a room, or host at their place.  Back to the main topic deposits will probably drive away some clients, I personally don't pay them and will just book someone else.  You'll probably get more reliable bookings but less bookings overall if I had to guess.

[+ StLouisOct]

On 5/23/2021 at 8:51 AM, BuffaloKyle said:

If they need you to host they should be getting the room. I could never imagine asking a provider to get a room for an incall. 

If they’re getting the room, aren’t they the ones hosting?!

[lonely_john]

@Jarrod_Uncut If you still get the amount of business you want after updating your ads, go ahead. Otherwise, you will have to adjust.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

Thanks for replies. Unfortunately it’s just the way it has to be. I had eased up because I worked with other escorts who don’t collect deposits, and get flaked on. But at this point I’m just tired of listening to what other guys are or aren’t doing. I have to do what works for me. And what works for me, is making sure any client who wants me to host: regardless if I’m hosting at home or even if I’m already in a hotel from another client. 
 

I don’t know what it is, why the majority of those who book incalls are the most likely to not show up. I even had a client who couldn’t host, but he went and booked a casino hotel with his points. 
 

I’ve also have clients who say, “oh I can’t because my wife/accountant, etc.” or “I’ve been scammed before”. Well...too bad. Not my fault. On top of that, they want to book using text-mail or some other burner phone app, and expect me to believe I should trust them to show up.

The sneaky issue is: some will show up without sending a deposit. Then I start to think, well maybe I can be more accommodating sometimes. And let my guard down. But it only takes 1 or 2 no shows to cause a complete catastrophe. 
 

And like I say, there’s been times where I’ve already been at a hotel...and clients book to come to me, and still don’t show up. I even had a previously met client cancel an incall appointment that was planned about 2-3 days prior. Once again, no deposit. But because I was not feeling well after my covid shot, I just let it slide. 
 

Going forward now, the deposit will have to be ready in hand before even sending any address info. If they have trust/privacy issues...they can book a room or find a time to host. I know there’s still the risk of outcalls cancelling as well...but it’s generally less often and with less of a privacy/financial risk. 
 

I know there’s the risk too of putting off clients, but here’s how I make sense of it: if they aren’t going to show up, then they aren’t worth keeping around anyway. And odds are, most incall requests don’t show up so, I won’t really be losing much in the long run.

Edited May 25, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[+ 7829V]

Funny. I’ve the same rule as a client. If a provider wants a deposit before  meeting. I politely decline. 🤷‍♂️  Oh and I always pay cash, so a deposit would be very difficult. 

Edited May 25, 2021 by 7829V

[italianboyph]

On 5/23/2021 at 3:08 AM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

For a brief period of time, I had eased up on my requirement for deposits for incall sessions where the client comes to me. It had seemed like people were showing up a little bit more.

But after yesterday, I’ve decided to permanently require all clients asking to come to me, to make a deposit. I’m putting it across all of my ads and upfront. I will absolutely not be hosting anyone if they don’t make a deposit. You would think it’s more risky to go to a client’s place and be stood up, but more often than not: it’s the ones who claim to want to come to me, which end up not showing up.

Just yesterday I had 2 clients fail to show up for their appointment request. I didn’t get a deposit from either, because I was in a hurry and needed to book a room to host an “incall day” (I have a place already, but I don’t host appointments from right now). Unfortunately I had went ahead and booked the non refundable rate for the hotel. So far it’s been hell and high water to change the date or get a refund, and I literally had no use for the hotel otherwise.

To add insult to injury, one of the clients became very disrespectful, even calling me names and saying I was silly to get a hotel for him. And the same idiot booked an appointment previously where he hosted, and I didn’t go because he wouldn’t pay the deposit. This time, I try to trust him to show up without paying the deposit, and he STILL doesn’t show up.

So for the remainder of my escort career: I won’t be accepting anymore excuses or reasons why a client can’t pay a deposit to come to me. It’s just too many times where people want me to host, and they don’t show up. And I either end up out of money, or out of time setting aside time for them and they don’t show up. 
 

If they can’t make the deposit, they either need to host or I won’t see them. No exceptions. 

 

if I had a dollar for every-time Ive had multiple clients flake on me, id be One rich man. The worst is when you set and time and date, then they don’t even text back the day you’re supposed to meet. Just this past weekend 3 alone, and it sucks. I think people should a least have the decency to text back instead of just ghosting. The worst is on the chat, and it says they read the messages. I’ve had guys say they’re on their way and no even show up. I’ve even gone to them, they block while I was in elevators, and not even answer the door. The games are unreal

Edited May 25, 2021 by italianboyph

[+ DrownedBoy]

10 hours ago, italianboyph said:

 

if I had a dollar for every-time Ive had multiple clients flake on me, id be One rich man. The worst is when you set and time and date, then they don’t even text back the day you’re supposed to meet. Just this past weekend 3 alone, and it sucks. I think people should a least have the decency to text back instead of just ghosting. The worst is on the chat, and it says they read the messages. I’ve had guys say they’re on their way and no even show up. I’ve even gone to them, they block while I was in elevators, and not even answer the door. The games are unreal

Strange...I've had the same experience with providers....

[BaronArtz]

10 hours ago, italianboyph said:

 

if I had a dollar for every-time Ive had multiple clients flake on me, id be One rich man. The worst is when you set and time and date, then they don’t even text back the day you’re supposed to meet. Just this past weekend 3 alone, and it sucks. I think people should a least have the decency to text back instead of just ghosting. The worst is on the chat, and it says they read the messages. I’ve had guys say they’re on their way and no even show up. I’ve even gone to them, they block while I was in elevators, and not even answer the door. The games are unreal

And you are such a nice guy.  Sorry to read you have those experiences.

[Jamie21]

I get some no shows too but I’ve learned to see the patterns that indicate they’re likely to flake.....the endless questions, sending dick pics, the “definitely up for it” assurances. Most times I can tell and in those instances I don’t make any commitments to spend to facilitate the session. It’s worse when I arrange a 4 hands and we both turn up but the client doesn’t show. So now I only take a 4 hands booking from regular clients or I take a deposit. 
Recently I’d arranged a 4 hands for me and a masseuse with a new client and I asked him for a deposit because the masseuse was travelling some distance to the session. Sure enough on the day he messaged to say he couldn’t make it. Unfortunately the masseuse had already travelled. At least I was able to give her some compensation to cover the cost of her travel but it’s annoying because we’d both put a lot of planning and time into the session for the client. Sometimes I think clients don’t appreciate the effort that goes into setting up a session; the venue booking and preparation, preparing yourself and all that goes into that, travel time if it’s outcall, getting any supplies needed. I reckon some think I’m just sitting around all day waiting for them to call. 
I generally don’t take deposits because most clients don’t want to bother with them (usually because they want to remain discreet) but if I get a no show then they’re blocked for ever and I tell other masseurs (yes, we share info like that) so that others can be aware. 
 

[italianboyph]

1 hour ago, Jamie21 said:

I get some no shows too but I’ve learned to see the patterns that indicate they’re likely to flake.....the endless questions, sending dick pics, the “definitely up for it” assurances. Most times I can tell and in those instances I don’t make any commitments to spend to facilitate the session. It’s worse when I arrange a 4 hands and we both turn up but the client doesn’t show. So now I only take a 4 hands booking from regular clients or I take a deposit. 
Recently I’d arranged a 4 hands for me and a masseuse with a new client and I asked him for a deposit because the masseuse was travelling some distance to the session. Sure enough on the day he messaged to say he couldn’t make it. Unfortunately the masseuse had already travelled. At least I was able to give her some compensation to cover the cost of her travel but it’s annoying because we’d both put a lot of planning and time into the session for the client. Sometimes I think clients don’t appreciate the effort that goes into setting up a session; the venue booking and preparation, preparing yourself and all that goes into that, travel time if it’s outcall, getting any supplies needed. I reckon some think I’m just sitting around all day waiting for them to call. 
I generally don’t take deposits because most clients don’t want to bother with them (usually because they want to remain discreet) but if I get a no show then they’re blocked for ever and I tell other masseurs (yes, we share info like that) so that others can be aware. 
 

Yeah I notice the patterns too... they’ll ask the rate then ask me to unlock pics.... then when the times comes no show.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

22 hours ago, 7829V said:

Funny. I’ve the same rule as a client. If a provider wants a deposit before  meeting. I politely decline. 🤷‍♂️  Oh and I always pay cash, so a deposit would be very difficult. 

Well that’s why I’m being open to give options. The option being: if they can host (particularly in a hotel or verifiable home address), no deposit would be necessary. 
 

Granted, I’m sure some providers may have it the other way around: Deposit for outcalls. But for me, I prefer it to host. There’s no worse feeling than giving a client your hotel name/address and perhaps even room number... and they not show up. Except: paying for said hotel and they cancel moments after handing over my credit card 😞 And hotels are unforgiving. I still haven’t gotten my money back, and now have to file a dispute with my bank, which will likely cause me to get either blacklisted from the hotel or my Priceline account. All due to 2 inconsiderables who contacted ME for an appointment and flaked before I even checked into the hotel.

And what made it so bad was: It was actually a nice hotel. High rise, amenities, etc. But non of that matters if I leave where I’m already staying, and just sit there on a Friday night with 2 cancelled bookings. 

Edited May 26, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jarrod_Uncut]

4 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

I get some no shows too but I’ve learned to see the patterns that indicate they’re likely to flake.....the endless questions, sending dick pics, the “definitely up for it” assurances. Most times I can tell and in those instances I don’t make any commitments to spend to facilitate the session. It’s worse when I arrange a 4 hands and we both turn up but the client doesn’t show. So now I only take a 4 hands booking from regular clients or I take a deposit. 
Recently I’d arranged a 4 hands for me and a masseuse with a new client and I asked him for a deposit because the masseuse was travelling some distance to the session. Sure enough on the day he messaged to say he couldn’t make it. Unfortunately the masseuse had already travelled. At least I was able to give her some compensation to cover the cost of her travel but it’s annoying because we’d both put a lot of planning and time into the session for the client. Sometimes I think clients don’t appreciate the effort that goes into setting up a session; the venue booking and preparation, preparing yourself and all that goes into that, travel time if it’s outcall, getting any supplies needed. I reckon some think I’m just sitting around all day waiting for them to call. 
I generally don’t take deposits because most clients don’t want to bother with them (usually because they want to remain discreet) but if I get a no show then they’re blocked for ever and I tell other masseurs (yes, we share info like that) so that others can be aware. 
 

My point exactly! It is inconsiderate.
 

And honestly, I’m not even doing it out of spite. I don’t want clients to think I’m doing this because “other clients” didn’t show up. I’m so past that. For me, it’s more about the fact that there needs to be better understanding from the start.

Anybody can say they are going to go somewhere, and not show up. It’s just too easy. I want to get it out of their heads that they can just have these sudden urges to contact me (usually always in the morning or noon lunch hours) and then change their minds...I don’t work like that. I’m tired of working like that. 
 

Calling an escort is not “arbitrary”. There needs to be some order. If someone wants me to host, they need to confirm it. People never know what a provider may need to go thru, to accept an appointment. Discretion is understandable 100%... but I’ve gone so far as to even send people barcodes to deposit cash into one of my app accounts. And that’s the option that I’ll continue to give.

Sometimes an escort reaches a breaking point in their career: and this is that. And I’m not double backing any more. 

[Colton]

When reading Jarrod's posts, I always think he should change professions.  Why do a job that makes you so unhappy?  Surely you are qualified to do something that makes you happy and not reach the breaking point. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

3 hours ago, Colton said:

When reading Jarrod's posts, I always think he should change professions.  Why do a job that makes you so unhappy?  Surely you are qualified to do something that makes you happy and not reach the breaking point. 

Interesting point you make: I could see how that would seem to be the case. However, I actually do like what I do. 

At the same time: I’ve been around long enough to know what I feel comfortable operating. Based on the original I posted: It wasn’t case where I didn’t enjoy what I was doing: it was a case where I had done the necessary production to host 2 incall sessions: and ended up stood up in the process. 

I’ve used this similarity before about wedding planners: they always take deposits. Likewise, I would like to take deposits. The issue comes when guys want to reason and disagree about sending one: yet when I actually let my guards down and do without: I end up getting stiffed. That’s what the problem is.

It’s not me who has an issue with the business, it’s some who have issues with how providers operate. 2 different things.

 

Edited May 27, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[lonely_john]

On 5/25/2021 at 12:24 AM, 7829V said:

Funny. I’ve the same rule as a client. If a provider wants a deposit before  meeting. I politely decline. 🤷‍♂️  Oh and I always pay cash, so a deposit would be very difficult. 

This is so true and it could have a negative impact on business @Jarrod_Uncut. Privacy and Electronic Payments don't mix well and I think most clients will want to pay Cash to not leave any paper trails. Unless times have changed and you have enough clients making electronic payments.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

1 hour ago, lonely_john said:

This is so true and it could have a negative impact on business @Jarrod_Uncut. Privacy and Electronic Payments don't mix well and I think most clients will want to pay Cash to not leave any paper trails. Unless times have changed and you have enough clients making electronic payments.

I actually have majority of clients making electronic payments. In fact on a recent trip, all my clients in 1 weekend used an app to pay for the session, even without my asking.

I even have clients who encourage me to ask for deposits lol. I understand the first time and very new and nervous probably wouldn’t feel comfortable, but they too are more likely to not show up.

Again: I’m offering options. I’m not saying every client must provide a deposit. If they can host, I’m willing to be flexible. The thing is when it comes down to me hosting, I don’t want to just plan things loosely on the basis that they might show up. If they have the means to host, by all means.

I feel like there’s an unspoken truth that men feel less inclined to commit to sessions, when they aren’t the one doing the hosting. And that’s understandable: But don’t have me going thru the effort to host, and then not show up. 

Edited May 27, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[lonely_john]

3 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

The thing is when it comes down to me hosting

 

Sorry to hear that you have this problem in your area. When I've asked providers who host here in Toronto about how difficult is their job, some have mentioned no-shows but it's not a big problem like in your area, and practically none of them is asking for any kind of upfront deposits. I wish you the best of luck.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

1 hour ago, lonely_john said:

Sorry to hear that you have this problem in your area. When I've asked providers who host here in Toronto about how difficult is their job, some have mentioned no-shows but it's not a big problem like in your area, and practically none of them is asking for any kind of upfront deposits. I wish you the best of luck.

Well like I said previously: I’m stepping back from what other providers are or aren’t doing. Like I said: I’ve worked side by side with providers who don’t mind the “come over right now” brigade. But I’ve also seen them wait in the wings of, “he might be coming, but I think he’s playing around”. And they deal with that round the clock on every tour. 
 

They may tell you as a client one thing, but I know 1st hand what it’s like. I know one guy who came to my town and had a handful of clients, but he also told me about 6 people no showed/no called him. More power to him, but I don’t have that level of tolerance. If I can weed out the ones who likely won’t show with a deposit, I’ve saved myself a lot of valuable time.

It’s not just “my area”. It’s the whole of the United States. Every state. Every state has the same predictable ways. I know because I’ve been to all of them. Some worse or better than others. 

Edited May 27, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Colton]

3 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Interesting point you make: I could see how that would seem to be the case. However, I actually do like what I do. 

 

Appreciate the respectful reply, as you could have reacted negatively to my post.

When I read your other thread about "wasting time", I thought about how much business development work goes into get a sale.  Some business development efforts convert into paying clients quickly, some don't, and some never do.  That's true in all sorts of professions -- banking, law, personal training, etc.

It is a unique industry you work in, so it has its challenges.  But there are also challenges that all service providers face.

3 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

it’s some who have issues with how providers operate

I'm not sure I follow this conclusion you made.  Seems like you have a issue with how clients/people operate, as they are reserving your time and can cancel without consequence.  I recently read an interview with Barry Diller about the new Little Island park in NYC. Mr. Diller didn't want to charge for tickets, but NYC Parks argued that without a charge for tickets, a lot of people would reserve tickets and not show up. 

 

[+ Lucky]

Flaky people are everywhere. I don't understand the rudeness of not communicating appropriately.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

20 hours ago, Colton said:

Appreciate the respectful reply, as you could have reacted negatively to my post.

When I read your other thread about "wasting time", I thought about how much business development work goes into get a sale.  Some business development efforts convert into paying clients quickly, some don't, and some never do.  That's true in all sorts of professions -- banking, law, personal training, etc.

It is a unique industry you work in, so it has its challenges.  But there are also challenges that all service providers face.

I'm not sure I follow this conclusion you made.  Seems like you have a issue with how clients/people operate, as they are reserving your time and can cancel without consequence.  I recently read an interview with Barry Diller about the new Little Island park in NYC. Mr. Diller didn't want to charge for tickets, but NYC Parks argued that without a charge for tickets, a lot of people would reserve tickets and not show up. 

 

Okay...you seem to be playing the devils advocate quite well. 
 

At the end of the day: it costs me money to host. Whether that’s in the form of a booking that could have been scheduled in place, or a hotel that was paid for and can’t be cancelled (and most hotels don’t allow cancellations when booked the same day anyway, even when they offer refundable or cancellation periods). 

That’s what you don’t seem to understand. I went thru the effort to book a room to host 2 clients who I thought would show, and neither of them showed. I had no other clients booked that day or night. So I lost money on the room. Had a gotten a deposit like I was doing before, I would have weeded them out or atleast covered part or all of the room. 
 

If clients think they can cancel without consequence as you say, then I don’t want to deal with them. It’s not about consequence, it’s about making sure I’m not doing work and effort before I get paid. Because guess who has to deal with the consequence of them cancelling if they don’t show? THE PROVIDER. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

11 hours ago, Lucky said:

Flaky people are everywhere. I don't understand the rudeness of not communicating appropriately.

And even when some of them do communicate properly, it still doesn’t make it right. If someone books a provider’s time (especially in this type of business, and I’m not talking about other businesses... I’m talking about this one)...I feel it’s just the right thing to do to provide either a deposit on the front end or cancellation on the back end.

Any client who cancels a session and doesn’t send a cancellation fee or deposit, is trash. Point blank period. Even when I tell my other clients things like this, they agree. Only shitty, inconsiderate clients book appointments with no real intention of keeping them.

 

I even had one today do it again: he contacted me back in September and cancelled the visit when I was trying to pencil him in for later in the day. He books me yesterday for a visit: and low and behold, cancels AGAIN. Same pattern. They do it once and do it again. Can’t be trusted, which is why I’m even going to require deposit from previous clients who contacted and didn’t follow thru with their session.

Edited May 28, 2021 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Colton]

10 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Any client who cancels a session and doesn’t send a cancellation fee or deposit, is trash.

You mean within 24 hours right?