Bottoms of the board: What kind of pleasure do you feel when getting it? I need tips

[socurious]

I am a top but all my life I have fantasized in being a woman getting fucked by men. In fact this is how I often masturbated until I reached adulthood.

 

I'm currently training my butt using plugs and dildos because I want to experiment penetration. However, it still feels uncomfortable.

 

I do get pleasure (with the plugs especially) but also some pain when using dildos. When I try to move it in and out to emulate sex I still don't feel an orgasm. I reach it usually when jerking off watching movies with it inside. It's been 2-3 months since I'm learning. I do it once a week usually, sometimes twice. I need tips.

Edited April 24, 2021 by nycboi

[socurious]

What the best way to reach potential pleasure? I myself gets it when thinking I like the feeling.

[socurious]

?

[BuffaloKyle]

?

 

[maninsoma]

Unless you deliberately bought a small dildo, it could just be that you are trying to use something too large -- particularly for someone who isn't experienced with having something up his ass. The last dildo I bought was so big that I was only ever able to get a small bit of it inside me and I have enjoyed bottoming for over 40 years.

 

Of course it's also possible that you either physically or psychologically just don't like bottoming, even though it sounds like it isn't a psychological thing given your fantasies. All I can tell you is that the first time I bottomed at age 18, my boyfriend only used a little spit for lube because we didn't have anything else to use. My ass opened up for him right away because I wanted it so bad. Except for really huge dildos (I've never been with a guy who has a cock even close in size to the biggest dildos I've had), I've never even understood the need for much lube. A little bit really should be fine unless the top is going to be pounding away at your hole for a long time.

[+ Axiom2001]

I like to get fucked; ...most of the tops and/or versatile tops I have known certainly knew how to please. Ask in "the deli" for some recommendations and go from there. Take the plunge without having this situation be such a big, big deal or concern.

 

In your requests for recommendations, make sure that you state your preferences as to look, body type, height, size of "trouser snake," and any other facet that you deem pertinent in your being "deflowered" by a handsome, hot, and hung man.

[socurious]

Unless you deliberately bought a small dildo, it could just be that you are trying to use something too large -- particularly for someone who isn't experienced with having something up his ass. The last dildo I bought was so big that I was only ever able to get a small bit of it inside me and I have enjoyed bottoming for over 40 years.

 

Of course it's also possible that you either physically or psychologically just don't like bottoming, even though it sounds like it isn't a psychological thing given your fantasies. All I can tell you is that the first time I bottomed at age 18, my boyfriend only used a little spit for lube because we didn't have anything else to use. My ass opened up for him right away because I wanted it so bad. Except for really huge dildos (I've never been with a guy who has a cock even close in size to the biggest dildos I've had), I've never even understood the need for much lube. A little bit really should be fine unless the top is going to be pounding away at your hole for a long time.

 

Thanks for your post.

Nope, my dildo isn't too big. It's 7 inches long and I can take it well. It's not thick neitheir.

[lonely_john]

Weed, booze, and poppers help to relax your muscles and enhance pleasure sensations. An be patient and kind to yourself.

Practice makes perfect but you can't easily stretch (in weeks or months) muscles that you haven't trained in decades.

[HoleTrainer]

I'm not a bottom so I can't reply to your original question personally, but maybe call or text me to set something up. I have a decade of experience working with people in your situation and I can show you a ton of hands-on tips and tricks for how to make penetration feel smoother/better and chase more intense orgasms from anal penetration. RM ad link in my signature!

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

For me it is all about wanting to enjoy it and practice, practice, practice.

[socurious]

Help.

[jjkrkwood]

Just so you know, its OK NOT to enjoy anal sex...... Its a lot of work and often painful, and just because you are a gay man does NOT mean taking a dick up your ass should / will come natural to you. It doesnt...... I havent been penetrated anally by a cock in 40 years, and I'm quite Happy and satisfied sexually !

[+ MysticMenace]

I havent been penetrated anally by a cock in 40 years, and I'm quite Happy and satisfied sexually !

 

so something else penetrated you anally in the last 40 years? :eek:??

[jjkrkwood]

so something else penetrated you anally in the last 40 years? :eek:??

 

A finger, a tongue, you know, lightweight stuff...... (and I dont enjoy that either)....?

[uwsman2]

It helps to start with a patient, sensitive top who will enter you gently the first time to give your body a chance to stretch to accommodate him. Then he gradually increases the depth of penetration and the speed while paying close attention to your reactions. I was lucky to find such a sensitive mentor when I was young and just coming out. Once you relax into the feeling of being penetrated and connected to another man at the root of your body, the feeling is sublime.

[+ SundayZip]

Although I've considered myself mostly a bottom, I've never enjoyed what some would call a "hard fuck". I've enjoyed taking dicks of all sizes, as long as he doesn't start vigorously pounding away. Unfortunately, there's the whole "yeah, fuck me harder.. deeper, faster" thing you sometimes see in porno. I suspect that's good in porno for some, but not so good in real life. Also, expecting a orgasm from anal penetration alone is not realistic.

[down_to_business]

"Pleasure" from bottoming is an incredibly subjective experience. I really don't think it is possible to give a "one size fits all" answer. I think the best thing you can do, is try to understand yourself, your desires, and what you enjoy and find pleasurable. For example, some are turned on by the size of the boat where another will find it in the motion of the ocean and to yet another it will be some combination of both.

 

For myself, I don't enjoy bottoming in the traditional sense. I think it takes a lot of prep and hard work to be ready (cleaning, not being able to eat, etc.) I am not fixated on size at all (average is fine, big is fine). But here is how and where I get my enjoyment. I have to be very attracted to the person I am with. Intense deep passionate kissing has to be involved. I like some degree of verbal play (not degradation, but more like descriptive). Finally, I get pleasure from knowing that I am giving my partner something he really wants. This is what works for me.

 

I can't emphasize enough, how knowing yourself and what you like is the most important thing to your own enjoyment. It will also be very helpful if you are able to verbalize this to your partner (what is working and even what isn't working). Maybe for you, it will be size, or foreplay, or toys, or positioning. Finally, as others have said... yes.. it is ok if you decide that you really don't enjoy it.

[Smurof]

Looking back to your last comment of just typing "help", did you get it out?

 

I'm teasing (I have to spell that out now).

 

If you want bottoming to become enjoyable, continue to both gradually increase the times you're practicing, as well as sizes and lengths of dildoes you're practicing with. Each time over time will increase how far you can take it. Next thing you know, you'll be on page 1 of Chaturbate rivaling that guy who makes a living riding toys. It doesn't hurt to do leg, back, arm, and of course butt exercises for a nice physique to look at from behind.

[socurious]

Great answers. Keep them coming!

[socurious]

How long it will take me to get prepare to bottom? A scort I like is coming July and I really wanna give it to him.

[kingsley88]

Although I've considered myself mostly a bottom, I've never enjoyed what some would call a "hard fuck". I've enjoyed taking dicks of all sizes, as long as he doesn't start vigorously pounding away. Unfortunately, there's the whole "yeah, fuck me harder.. deeper, faster" thing you sometimes see in porno. I suspect that's good in porno for some, but not so good in real life. Also, expecting a orgasm from anal penetration alone is not realistic.

I've never enjoyed the 'hard fuck' either and have only done anal when I had a boyfriend (as you said anal requires preparation/positioning, etc.) The older I get the more I prefer foreplay/oral/kissing.

 

One thing that I always wondered though is whether men who bottomed a lot when they were younger have fecal/bowel incontinence issues later in life? or a higher likelihood?

[excelntsvc]

for me it all comes down to how much i desire the guy ... i've had problems with big guns and little pipes ... and i've ridden the hell out of big guns and little pipes ... chemistry and desire go a long way towards making it all fun!

[BtmBearDad]

I agree with everything that has been said here. In my own experience it wasn’t something I took to automatically, and with fervor. Rather, it was more of an evolution - both physically and mentally.

 

When I first started playing with guys, I swore up and down that I would *never* bottom. Not because I wasn’t curious (that was my secret), but I think because I was all caught up in the whole tops are the “guys”, and bottoms are the “girls” BS. Stupid I know. But to me at that time -the big, hairy, rugby jock- it made sense. In reality it just gave me an excuse to not dip my toe in those bottoming waters regardless of how much I wanted to. The first time I did give in, and give it up, it was to another jock (hockey) which I think helped me to think it was ok. But, what freaked me out was I liked it - I mean *really* liked it. So much so, I didn’t go back down that path again until I was in my late 20’s when a FWB flipped the script on me, and there I was in bliss again. After that, it became a “secret”- I dated guys as a top, but hooked up or engaged gents as a bottom. I was about 32 when I finally gave up the ghost, and just accepted my preferred role. Have I topped since? Absolutely - but those times have been organic, in the moment times - nothing was ever planned.

 

As others have said, much MUCH of you enjoying being a bottom has to do with the skill of your top. If your top doesn’t know how to captain his ship, it probably won’t be enjoyable. Skill, size, patience all come into play literally when you’re a bottom. There is also a mental aspect - getting over whatever preconceived notions you may in your head about what it may mean to be a bottom. Some of that can be countered by playing back there on your own - fingers, toys, massagers. But to really get past those mental notions, you will need the real thing.

 

Who knows? Maybe you’ll try it, (I’d recommend a few times), and realise bottoming really isn’t for you - the fantasy is better than the reality. That’s great too. I know a few friends who have tried the bottom role, but don’t enjoy it at all. Same way, I have other friends that don’t get any pleasure from topping. There’s a lid for every pot, and all that.

 

When you do decide to bottom, just remember three golden rules:

1. Cleanliness is next to godliness

2. Slow and steady wins the race

3. Lube (and more lube) is your best friend

 

Good luck to you, @nycboi! Let us know how it goes, and if a provider, who you’re considering ?

[kingsley88]

 

When you do decide to bottom, just remember three golden rules:

1. Cleanliness is next to godliness

2. Slow and steady wins the race

3. Lube (and more lube) is your best friend

 

Good luck to you, @nycboi! Let us know how it goes, and if a provider, who you’re considering ?

 

I'd also add that hopefully the top will rim you before topping you!

[+ keroscenefire]

 

It's helpful to kind of look at this from an anatomical perspective I think. A lot of what a bottom find pleasurable is not just in the feeling of something up the bum but in the pressure penetration provides to the prostate and seminal vesicles, the actual organs in the male reproductive system that produce and secrete semen. These organs are located right next to the rectum but really only a couple inches inside the anus. For a lot of men, the prostate being massaged by a penis or toy up the anus is very pleasurable because these organs are (along with some other muscles) responsible for male orgasm. Some men can even cum just from stimulation of the prostate without any penile stimulation at all. For me, I have a much more intense orgasm when I am having both my prostate and penis stimulated.