Should I take it personally when an escort doesn't answer e-mails?

[Guest albinorat]

I don't want to embarrass anybody (even myself) but I sent one of the more popular young escorts here a long e-mail detailing a scene. He suggested I do it and in any case I always do. I also enclosed my phone number and said he could call collect. Granted it was on the long side (though a couple of thousand pages shorter than War and Peace)and the *scene* might have seemed a little far out to him. But am I being a real creep thinking the guy could have e-mailed back, *no thanks?*. Maybe he has trouble reading? I know they get busy, etc. but still... but maybe I'm being an idiot, too (sometimes I wonder).

 

Al

[Guest Nice Guy]

A1, you have a great sense of humor. However, I don't know one gent who would have taken the time to call you,let alone read "War and Peace" give or take a few thousand words. I have written reems to a couple and if I get a response at all it is something like "Really"... So Bud, just chalk it up to a fun first Novella. and go back in 2 or 3 days and re-read your email. It may not sound nearly as interesting in the light of day. But bottom line... don't take offense if you didn't get a response, after all its a "biz" for them and heaven knows they get enough crank mail as it is. Best Regards NG

PS. Feel free to send me some great stories:)

[NY Observer]

I don't think you should take it personally. These guys are VERY busy, they have become so popular (thanks to a great extent to Hooboy) and get so much email that it's difficult to read and respond to everything. I don't get nearly the amount of mail that some of these guys do and I find it difficult to respond to every letter I receive. Of course, if they do respond, you wouldn't want to get a form letter, so think about how much time it takes to respond to maybe 50 (or more) emails a day. It's not that the guy doesn't like you, far from it, he probably doesn't even know you. It's hard dealing in an online environment, especially in this arena. There are many guys out there who chat or write to these guys, with no intention of ever meeting them, lots of lies and deception. They must get tired of the games (I'm not suggesting you are one of those folks) I think you should cut the guy some slack and try a second (shorter) email and if you get no response, move on to someone else.

Good luck

[Guest albinorat]

Thanks Nice Guy and NY Observer (love reading your reports). I'm sure you're both right. These guys must get tons of e-mail. In this case we had had a phone conversation and an earlier e-mail exchange and he asked for what I was looking for in *detail* (famous last words, I'm sure). That's why I wondered what went wrong. But he's also genuinely one of the younger guys here so he's probably figuring out how best to respond to e-mails, who to take seriously and so on. Well, I wish him luck, and I have to say this is a great site!

 

Al

[Guest ManhattanMan]

WHAT!! You fellows are too gracious for words to describe. I'm a businessman and I must get 300 emails a day, which I read and answer as necessary. If I don't answer a customer's message, the real message is that I don't want that customer.

 

I've had great sex with plenty of escorts, but I must admit that I'm more likely to do "repeats" with the ones I establish a rapport with, through conversation or.... Email. Michael Vincenzo was so charming via email after our first (tres expensive) encounter that I rebooked another after only 4 days. Had he ignored my response to his initial "thank you" msg, once would have been it. Now I can't wait to see him again!

 

Should you Take it personally? Well, YES! But his real message is that he doesn't care about his business.

[Guest Nice Guy]

MMan, you DO have a good point. Looking back, the gentlemen I have had some of the best times with are the ones I established a repore with via Email or Phone. However, Like the guy said, he is new at this, and Honey, we are NOT. So give the kid a little slack... He will learn soon enough, perhaps the hard way, but he will learn.

NG

[Guest Hanover]

Don't take it personally, but for Pete's sake move on to another escort if you don't get a timely reply. I've lost count of the number of times I've heard that escorts get too many messages to reply to them all. I wonder why so many advertise their services with an email address to which they claim they are too busy to respond! If they choose not to reply, then they should lose the business; it's up to them to make such calculations. Yet the way many escorts and their clients think, it's often hard to tell who is hiring who. I personally would never consider spending up to $300/hour for the services of someone who wouldn't even answer a query. Even lawyers aren't that bad!

[Bilbo]

Back in the days a few years ago before this all bloomed into email, etc, we escorts used to have what we called "phonies." These were the men who went into great detail about what they wanted to happen when we got together. Great Detail. It didn't take long for most of us to notice that these were the men who never did get together with us for one reason or another. Why should they? They had already gotten off over the phone, after having turned us into a freebies version of a phone fantasy line! So a protracted write out of just what you want to have happen could perhaps be mistaken for someone getting off over writing such sexy things to an escort without paying for his time reading it?

Also, a lot of escorts are in this business because they value their independence, initiative and etc. They know that a lot of good sex is based on what you do on the spur of the moment. They are unlikely to appreciate that you want them to be sure, about 45 minutes into the encounter, approximately the fifth thing that they do, if they remember all of your requests, that they will do yutsandso.

I am not saying that your epistle actually did resemble my remarks, but noone has said yet that it didn't, either.

[Guest albinorat]

Well, sir, Bilbo, do I notice some defensiveness in your response? How many e-mails have you failed to answer today? I said it before but will do so again. The escort asked for a detailed description of the scene. I gave him my phone number so he could call me collect. I wasn't harrassing him, nor was I writing porn to get myself off. I haven't called again because I don't want to bother him. Did I read you right that you thought you guys should be paid to read an e-mail? Seems a little excessive to me. On the phone and in a prior e-mail I had committed to seeing him. But in quarter century of hiring *escorts* I've learned a few things about the game and about myself. I don't expect magic to happen just because somebody comes to the door. There has to be a level of comfort on both sides. The more an *escort* knows about me and what I want, the happier I'm going to be to pay him and the easier the scene will be for him. No one likes surprises. If an *escort* can't get in to what I'd like and/or we can't reach a compromise then it's best not to meet. Seems to me there's some safety in the *escort* knowing in advance what a customer expects; just as there's some consumer protection for the client in knowing the excort has agreed to and is comfortable with his expectations. In the old days you met at bars or even on the street here in NYC -- and face to face you could read vibes, get acquainted and get together or not. I never had a really bad experience and only met a few assholes. In fact most of the guys "hustling" that I met were good people. But back then the prices were lower and you met in a situation where you could assess if the guy was drunk, doped out of his head, into it, clean, seemed honest and so on. Now, you *escorts* are very high priced -- and this young fellow was no exception. Because it's done by e-mail or sometimes over the phone with appointment to happen later, in some cases much later -- this fellow is not in New York and will be visiting and thus couldn't come right over even if he'd been available -- it's much harder for a client to know what he's going to get. I'd be inclined to say an escort who does business by e-mail should want to read a candid if not always long description of what the client wants. And should respond, if only with *sorry, no*. I'm not hung up on it. As I wrote, this guy is young and probably will figure out his own way to do business. I'm not so rich or so into paying that it's any great loss for this guy. And there are certainly other fish in the sea. Thanks to hooboy I've already had great esperiences and expect to keep having them. But I will say, in both those cases, e-mails were exchanged and the escorts were comfortable with that and really delivered for me. But enough's enough and time to move on!

 

Al

[Will]

I am 100% with ManhattanMan. Some of these boys think that having a pretty face and working out five times a week makes them the Duchess of Windsor. I have also noticed how frequently the inquiries reverse direction, as though the escort were deciding whether or not to do me the favor of taking my $200/hour. Please. You're right: even lawyers aren't that bad. When I get a response like that I move on.

[Guest cleverock]

We need a little balance here----

 

Would you want an escort inetrrupting their overnight with you to answer email? Ditto a weekend or other extended time with them?

 

Yes--I answer dozens of emails a day, sometimes hundreds, but I also sit in an office in front of a monitor which makes it easier to "check-in".

 

My experience is that if escorts are around they will respond within 24 hours; usually much sooner. I usually don't try to contact them on weekends, as I assume that the popular ones travel or try to have a life. I usually provide a fairly general description of myself (age, build, general likes/dislikes)---enough so that someone who isn't versatile can politely say "no", but also enough to be businesslike and let them know I am a "serious" customer. I figure that a lengthy, detailed description is going to seem odd and controlling or perhaps excessively exhibitionistic. You also have to consider that, after getting to know someone online or at meeting, some part of the fantasy may change. The expectation that an escort meet every last detail of your fantasy is not a good starting place---there wil always be some degree of negotiation, spoken or unspoken. And once you meet the guy, you may want something different. Good escorts are little guarded--bad ones are controlling or indifferent. I suspect that "good clients" are much the same way and that experienced escorts look for signs that distinguish the "good" from the possibly "bad". And many escorts probably figure that ignoring someone who looks a bad fit is better than getting engaged in a dialog with them.

[Bilbo]

Albin, honey, take it easy. Perhaps we are both being a bit defensive here, but I was trying merely to play devil's advocate. Everyone had been assuming that the problem was on the escort's end of the line and I wanted to explore how it might have been possible that yes, as you asked in your original posting, you should take this as something personal. Not in a hurtful way, but in a bit of a lesson on how not to get the same reaction next time.

As far as my unanswered emails, as most long time posters here might be able to tell you, I was forcibly retired from the escorting business last February after having been in it, allegedly, for a total of some 16 years starting in 1975. So, I am in a safer position to speak for what the escorts might be thinking at times. It won't cost me any business.

BTW, thank you Cleverock for a well thought out answer.

[Guest MikeConway]

Hey there,

 

Dont feel bad, I know it may seem like something personal. I try my best to answer all my emails and keep track of everything. As one becomes more popular it is hard to learn sometimes how to be organized to keep up with it. I have fallen victem to this, I have been well reviewed but still I have messed up on the emails. Especially when traveling, I am all over Europe at the momnet and dont have as much access to the internet as I would like, have had my lap top die on me when traveling and have lost important emails etc etc. So there are many things that can happen, and more often than not we tend to personalize this as to 'what did I do' or ' I guess he dosent want to see me' I would say hang in there, try again, if you dont get a response there are many other great escorts out there and I wouldnt sweat it.

 

Mike Conway