I Stuck My Dick In It...

[+ MysticMenace]

After watching an OF clip from Travis Bryant of him having fun with a vacuum cleaner and seeing some interesting responses on what things have been stuck in people's butts before, I wonder what non-traditional (e.g., not anus, vagina, mouth, hands, fleshlight) items folks have used for topping...?

 

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[KrisParr]

A frat bro in college demonstrated this - he took a large ripe banana and rolled it around on a hard surface for a bit, and cut off one end and gently squeezed out the fruit. Then he inserted his cock inside and jerked off. Supposedly this isn’t all that unusual, but it was new to me.

[memphisdad]

My hand plus lotion.

[jjkrkwood]

[+ Pensant]

Give me good old Vaseline any day. Also moisturizes!

[+ Yellowrod]

A jar of albolene

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

A rolled up foam pad (just got back from a camping trip when I was a teenager).

It didn't work

[Guest]

A whole new perspective on creamy peanut butter there, eh? Thanks @jjkrkwood, I doubt I’ll get that image out of my head next time I’m in the pantry ??

[MaybeMaybeNot]

@jjkrkwood I would love to hear more about the experience. Can't say I haven't thought of that myself.

 

I once tried an orange. I had read about it online at a particularly horned up moment. Didn't do I anything for me.

[CuriousByNature]

@jjkrkwood I would love to hear more about the experience. Can't say I haven't thought of that myself.

 

I once tried an orange. I had read about it online at a particularly horned up moment. Didn't do I anything for me.

How would someone explain to an ER doctor how a citrus seed became lodged in a urethra?

[JayCeeKy]

How would someone explain to an ER doctor how a citrus seed became lodged in a urethra?

ER docs run into all kinds of things going into people's various holes. When I worked with drug addicts I had a client who would use catheters to insert BBs up into his bladder (to make it look like he had bladder/kidneys stones) in order to get pain pills - the BBs would show up on Xrays as stones. The ER doc called me and said the client had done it so many times it was ruining his urethra.

[CuriousByNature]

ER docs run into all kinds of things going into people's various holes. When I worked with drug addicts I had a client who would use catheters to insert BBs up into his bladder (to make it look like he had bladder/kidneys stones) in order to get pain pills - the BBs would show up on Xrays as stones. The ER doc called me and said the client had done it so many times it was ruining his urethra.

Good thing they didn't do an MRI. That could have been messy.

[+ nycman]

How would someone explain to an ER doctor how a citrus seed became lodged in a urethra?

Easy....

 

“I was fucking an orange”

 

They’ve heard it all.

Whenever you find yourself in an ER....just tell the fucking brutal truth.

They won’t care and they’ll respect you a 1,000 times more for being honest.

Trust me.

[caliguy]

Loved the vacuum cleaner for some good sucking. As a growing boy i got too big for it though. I moved on anyways. Found my new love. The jacuzzi jets. ?

[CuriousByNature]

Easy....

 

“I was fucking an orange”

 

They’ve heard it all.

Whenever you find yourself in an ER....just tell the fucking brutal truth.

They won’t care and they’ll respect you a 1,000 times more for being honest.

Trust me.

I like oranges well enough, but I guess I'm just not THAT into them...hahaha.

[+ purplekow]

Not actually into it but I alternated hot and cold running water from a bathtub faucet directly onto my erect cock. . The feeling was exhilarating but not enough to get me off, so I used my soapy hand to finish it.

[+ poolboy48220]

Probably way too pedestrian for this thread, but I like my hand-held shower. I used it on a trick, aiming it up from underneath to get his balls and taint, apparently that was a new sensation for him.

[Guest]

Well if we are going to go there....

 

I have experimented with some stuff, shaving cream and honey. Completely covering my torso, pretty amazing and arousing albeit a bit messy.

[liubit]

Probably way too pedestrian for this thread, but I like my hand-held shower. I used it on a trick, aiming it up from underneath to get his balls and taint, apparently that was a new sensation for him.

I also have a hand-held shower, and I frequently use it to massage my dick, balls, taint, and ass. Very sexy.

[Mjonis]

Probably way too pedestrian for this thread, but I like my hand-held shower. I used it on a trick, aiming it up from underneath to get his balls and taint, apparently that was a new sensation for him.

 

I thought I was the only one. I use that too (cool water, for some reason really gets me going).

[MaybeMaybeNot]

For the record, I used a seedless orange.

[Rod Hagen]

Don't know who is Travis Bryant, but my first orgasm was in a vacuum cleaner.

[Rod Hagen]

Yeah I definitely fucked the Peanut Butter jars when I was a kid.

 

I always wanted to use it as lube, and then the bottom could say "you got peanut butter in my chocolate!" Many of you won't get that reference.

[Beancounter]

Wasn’t it in the novel “Catcher in the Rye” that Holden Caulfield stuck his cock in and played with the family’s liver that was going to be served for dinner? It’s been so long since I read that novel (think high school days) I’m not sure if my memory is serving me well.

[+ Yellowrod]

Wasn’t it in the novel “Catcher in the Rye” that Holden Caulfield stuck his cock in and played with the family’s liver that was going to be served for dinner? It’s been so long since I read that novel (think high school days) I’m not sure if my memory is serving me well.

I think that was "Portnoy's Complaint".